5月26日 同主题练习 Argument 32

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

今天练习的重点是针对不同的题目要求用不同的句子表达完成开头段和中间段的主题句。这个技能要反复练习，可以在考场上帮我们节省时间。因此建议大家像Kssandra那样练习不同的版本。

相关argument：104,105,106,167

这道题我不会逐个点评了，希望大家落实互评。我的博客43楼有我写的argument32，大家可以去看看，比对一下。如果有任何问题或意见，欢迎提出。另外，请利用这道题练习不同写作指引的回应方式。

本次练习的重点是写开头段（主旨句）及中间段的开头（主题句）。其中由于这道题有多个版本，这里建议大家根据不同版本的写作要求来写不同的开头段和和主题句。 由于这个练习非常重要，本帖暂不批改全文，重点关注习作中回应题目的语言表达以及思路。  

关于argument的1+3模型可参考这里。关于argument不同题型的处理方式，请参考这里。

104) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a manufacturing company.
During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

105) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of Butler Manufacturing.
During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. If we shorten each of our work shifts by one hour, we can improve Butler Manufacturing's safety record by ensuring that our employees are adequately rested.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

106) The following appeared in a memo from the Board of Directors of Butler Manufacturing.
During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Therefore, we recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour. Shorter shifts will allow Butler to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

167) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

ikowUID: 3497152

claim:shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

datas or evidences:
1) Quiot Manufactring had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries
2)the work shifts of Panoply Industries are one hour shorter than that of Quiot Manufacturing
3)experts considersignificant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep

warrants:
1) P的事故比Q的少，所以P的工作模式比Q的要合理，我们要减少工作时间
2) 更长的工作时间使得Q的工人缺乏睡眠时间，更加疲劳
3) 根据专家的观点疲劳工作会增加事故率加上warrant2)，所以我们要减少工作时间，保证工人有足够睡眠
其中默认了一个warrant:Q的事故大多都是由于工作疲劳导致的


那么中间三段的论述如下：
1）P、Q公司不具有可比性：1、不能通过绝对数字进行比较，应该用事故率 2、不知道P、Q公司的类型，规模，工作性质 3、Q公司应该和自己以前的数据进行比较
2）没有指出Q公司出事故的原因，不知道是睡眠不足的疲劳导致的还是其他因素导致的
3) 即使认可2）中的假设，认为是疲劳导致的事故，应该说明工作时长和缺乏睡眠有必然联系。即使要减少工作时间，不必减少所有班次的工作时间，减少出事故高的班次即可
4) 减少事故应该提高员工安全意识，加强公司的安全措施，加大监管力度


有个问题：老师，如果写完文章希望老师批改的话要发到什么地方呢？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ikow 发表于 2014-10-23 22:38
claim:shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amount ...

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

相关argument：104,105,106,167

claim:shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

datas or evidences:
1) Quiot Manufactring had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries
2)the work shifts of Panoply Industries are one hour shorter than that of Quiot Manufacturing
3)experts considersignificant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep

warrants:
1) P的事故比Q的少，所以P的工作模式比Q的要合理，我们要减少工作时间

这里的工作模式就是shift的长度  

2) 更长的工作时间使得Q的工人缺乏睡眠时间，更加疲劳
3) 根据专家的观点疲劳工作会增加事故率加上warrant2)，所以我们要减少工作时间，保证工人有足够睡眠
其中默认了一个warrant:Q的事故大多都是由于工作疲劳导致的


那么中间三段的论述如下：
1）P、Q公司不具有可比性：1、不能通过绝对数字进行比较，应该用事故率 2、不知道P、Q公司的类型，规模，工作性质 3、Q公司应该和自己以前的数据进行比较
2）没有指出Q公司出事故的原因，不知道是睡眠不足的疲劳导致的还是其他因素导致的
3) 即使认可2）中的假设，认为是疲劳导致的事故，应该说明工作时长和缺乏睡眠有必然联系。即使要减少工作时间，不必减少所有班次的工作时间，减少出事故高的班次即可
4) 减少事故应该提高员工安全意识，加强公司的安全措施，加大监管力度


你提的这几点都很好 不过你要注意这篇文章问的是assumption因此全文都要围绕各种assumption 来写  

给你看一篇我写的argument 118  也是assumption的

https://www.evernote.com/shard/s ... 87c5b1df1b21b1765d8


如果要列提纲的话 就是要写出以下几句话

The article argues that companies should hire people who need less sleep because these employees are more likely to succeed based on a survey of 300 advertising executives.  A number of assumptions have been made about the generalisability of the survey result, the reliability of the reported need of sleep and other related issues.  We need to examine the assumptions carefully in order to assess the argument.  

To begin with, the assumption that the survey results can be applied more broadly may not hold true.

In addition, it is assumed that the executives actually need little sleep as reported in the survey.  

Another assumption being made is that the need of less sleep is the main reason why the executives were successful.

Finally, it is also assumed that executives with less need for sleep can succeed in the long term.





有个问题：老师，如果写完文章希望老师批改的话要发到什么地方呢？

建议你先回帖写一个这样的提纲，我看过后，再写全文。  

ikowUID: 3497152

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-23 22:52
32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the p ...

感谢老师，明白了，如果不是assumption,可以按照之前的写法：
1）P、Q公司不具有可比性：1、不能通过绝对数字进行比较，应该用事故率 2、不知道P、Q公司的类型，规模，工作性质 3、Q公司应该和自己以前的数据进行比较
2）没有指出Q公司出事故的原因，不知道是睡眠不足的疲劳导致的还是其他因素导致的
3) 即使认可2）中的假设，认为是疲劳导致的事故，应该说明工作时长和缺乏睡眠有必然联系。即使要减少工作时间，不必减少所有班次的工作时间，减少出事故高的班次即可
4) 减少事故应该提高员工安全意识，加强公司的安全措施，加大监管力度

但是如果是assumption应该改成这个样子：
首先第一段总结作者的claim，然后写出概括写出作者的几点assumption，对这些assumptions提出疑问
随后中间三段分别围绕每个assumption进行展开：
1) 1st assumption is P Q公司具有可比性，P公司的情况可以运用在Q公司中，但是实际P、Q公司可能不具备可比性：1、不能通过绝对数字进行比较，应该用事故率 2、不知道P、Q公司的类型，规模，工作性质 3、Q公司应该和自己以前的数据进行比较
2） 2nd assumption is Q公司事故都是由于疲劳导致，但是实际情况可能不是这样的
3） 3rd assumption is 在Q公司工作时长与工人休息有着必然联系，但是实际可能没有

其实论证的内容都是一样的，只是将assumption都给提了出来，不知道我这样理解的对不对？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ikow 发表于 2014-10-24 00:25
感谢老师，明白了，如果不是assumption,可以按照之前的写法：
1）P、Q公司不具有可比性：1、不能通过绝对 ...

可以这么说 不过如果题目不是assumption 也还是有具体的要求 比如要你提出需要回答的问题 需要找的证据 其他可能的解释等等 你在组织各段的内容时都应该根据题目的要求来选用适当的措辞

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ikow 发表于 2014-10-24 00:25
感谢老师，明白了，如果不是assumption,可以按照之前的写法：
1）P、Q公司不具有可比性：1、不能通过绝对 ...

这里有几个问题请站内信回答一下 O(∩_∩)O谢谢
寄托GRE考生背景调查

以前是否考过GRE作文，分数如何？托福作文？

下次考试日期？ 考前还可以写多少道题的提纲和全文？  

期待的分数？

谈谈对1+3模型的看法。

觉得自己的issue和argument最大的问题分别是什么？

对于我的指导有何期待或要求？

对于我在版面针对其他同学的批改、指导有何意见？

lisa_CUID: 2678347

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

相关argument：104,105,106,167


CLAIM
Shortening each of three work shifts by one hour will help Quiot maintain employees get adequate amounts of sleep, reduce its number of on-the-job accidents and thereby increase productivity
缩短三班轮岗时间一小时能保证工人充足睡眠，从而减少事故并提高生产率

DATA/EVIDENCE
1. Panoply的时间比Quiot短一个小时，比Quiot少30%的事故率
2. 专家说工作事故的发生和工人的疲劳与缺觉有很大的关系

WARRANT
1. 假设Panoply与Quiot除工作轮岗时间外其他各方面相似，Panoply的经验对Quiot有借鉴意义，Panoply工作轮岗时间比Q少一小时是事故率低的主因，说明Q也可以采取P的工作轮岗时间以减少工作事故
2. 假如专家关于事故率和工人疲劳度与睡眠数量的说辞可信且缩短轮岗时间后工人有更多时间用于睡眠，则缩短轮岗时间能减少故事率
3. 文中还假设了保证工人充足睡眠能提高生产率

逻辑漏洞
1. 关于Quiot可以借鉴Panoply经验的假设不成立，或许两家企业属性非常不同，缩短一小时是否有效包括该准确调整的时间数量都不得而知
2. 关于Panoply事故少主要因为工作轮岗时间少和假设不成立，也许是其他因素
3. 关于专家所谓的工作事故率和工人疲劳度睡眠时间相关的言论可信的假设不成立，也许专家言论未经科学验证只是基于猜测
4. 关于缩短工作轮岗时间能提高工人睡眠量的假设不成立，或许工人将多出的时间用于他用
5. 关于缩短工作轮岗时间能提高生产率的假设前文完全没有evidence支撑，需要给出可信论据

提纲
1. 关于Quiot可以借鉴Panoply经验的假设不成立。
（1）首先，P家事故少未必是因为工作轮岗时间短。也可能P家员工安全培训教育做得好或是在天气舒适的地方员工更能集中注意力工作。
（2）即使时间是主因，两家企业可能非常不同，Quiot可能是化工企业生产过程容易释放有毒气体容易使工人受伤，而Panoply主要生产食品、生产过程全自动，工人不容易受伤。没有更多论据证明这一假设可信，则Panoply的经验可能在Quiot失效，也就不能达到所声称的效果。
（3）即使Panoply事故少的主因是轮岗时间短而且两家企业类似，Quiot应该缩短到多少时间是一个疑问，也许Quiot的工人超负荷工作，即使缩短一小时也达不到明显减少事故率的效果，也许需要缩短1.5小时。缩短多少时间才能使Q家在将事故率控制在一定范围之内的同时效益最大化，这些都是需要仔细考虑的，决不应该草率照搬P家的工作时间。
2. 关于专家言论可信的假设不成立。没有可信的引用来源，没有证明其可信的细节。
完全有可能专家的言论过时。
3. 关于缩短工作轮岗时间能够保证工人睡眠量的假设不成立。
例如，也许在旧时间安排中，工人工作日因为时间来不及不敢到较远的地方娱乐，在多出一个小时后工作可以去较远地方娱乐，这样一来反而工人的睡眠时间少了。
4. 关于缩短工作轮岗时间能够提高生产率的假设不成立。
也许Q家的产品生产过程属性决定了连续作业更能提高生产率。如果这一假设不成立，说话人也不应当在效果中提及。

全文

The author has a concern on the problem of on-the-job accidents in Quiot and argues that shortening each of three work shifts by one hour will help Quiot maintain employees get adequate amounts of sleep, thus it can help reduce its number of on-the-job accidents and increase its productivity. But when we closely examinate the evidence privided and implied assumptions based, his argument is not credible.

First, the author's analysis starts from the comparison between Quiot Manufacturing and Panoply Industries, and an implied assumption in this comparison is that Quiot Manufacturing and Panoply Industries are similar other than work shifts time and Panoply's short work shifts time is the main fact contributing to its low accident rate. However, there are many other possible explanations about Panaply's low on-the-job accident rate. For instance, the managers of Panoply Industries may have more concern about workers safety and devote more money in safety training of workers. Or they may locate in different areas, the weather in Panoply's area is more comfortable thus workers can concentrate better in working. Moreover, even though it's true that Panoply's short work shifts time makes its low on-the-job accident rate, we don't konw whether Quiot and Panoply are similar in other aspects. It is entirely possible that they are quite different. Perhaps Quiot produces chemical products and within its producing process, workers would easily harmed by poison gas, while Panoply just produces small cokies and its producing process is simple and safe. In addition, no informaiton about Quiot's optimized choice is provided in this argument. Whether Quiot can simply copy Panoply's work shifts mode is questionable. Instead of shortening one hour,shortening one and a half hour may be the best choice for Quiot to maxmize its profit with controlling its on-the-job accident rate at the same level of that of Panoply. Maybe shortening one and a half hours is the best choice. Without providing more evidence to support the reliability of implied assumption mentioned above, we cannot accept the speaker's assertion that shortening work shifts time by one hour will reduce accidents in working process in Quiot.

Second,experts' conclusion cited that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers is assumed to be true without solid support. However, the experts' conclusion may result from some research which is not valid. For example, the sample they chose may not have been representative of workers in Quiot Manufacturing, observing workers who mainly use their brain to work. Another possibility is that the experts' words cited by the author may be out of date, if coming from some decades years ago paper. Since the author doesn't offer the detail about who are the experts, how the experts get this conclusion, the fundamental assumption is not effectively backed.

Third, even though experts' conclusion cited is reliable, another assumption implied that workers will sleep more if Quiot shortens work shifts time is also incredible. The experts talks about the relationship of on-the-job accidents and fatigue and sleep deprivation, while the author discuss about that of on-the-job accidents and shorter work shifts time. Here comes the problem: longer work shifts time does not equal to fatigue and sleep deprivation. Even Quiot's work shifts time is longer, it is totally possible that workers will spend extra time in enterntainment. For example, for those who do not have enough time to do shopping in old schedule, they may go to farther shopping malls and thus they may even spend less time in sleep if the working schedule is changed. Without offering sufficient information to prove that workers will surely spend more time in sleep, it is going to far to say that this measure is effective.

Finally, the speaker assumes shortening work shifts time will increase productivity, which is never mentioned before.Perhaps productivity will instead if workers are forced to stop working at their most efficient time. Without evidence provided to support the assumed result of changing work shifts time, we don't know whether this measure will have impact on Quiot's productivity.

In sum, to better support his argument, the author should carefully check more details and provide better evidence to make sure his implied assumptions mentioned above are reliable. Otherwise, it is suspect that Quiot can reduce on-the-job accidents and increace productivity by shortening work shifts time by one hour.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

lisa_C 发表于 2014-10-27 02:04
32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past  ...

全文

The author has a concern on the problem of on-the-job accidents in Quiot and argues that shortening each of three work shifts by one hour will help Quiot maintain employees get adequate amounts of sleep, thus it can help reduce its number of on-the-job accidents and increase its productivity. But when we closely examinate the evidence privided and implied assumptions based, his argument is not credible.

First, the author's analysis starts from the comparison between Quiot Manufacturing and Panoply Industries, and an implied assumption in this comparison is that Quiot Manufacturing and Panoply Industries are similar other than work shifts time and Panoply's short work shifts time is the main fact contributing to its low accident rate. However, there are many other possible explanations about （for) Panaply's low on-the-job accident rate. For instance, the managers of Panoply Industries may have more concern about workers safety and devote more money in safety training of workers. Or they may locate in different areas, the weather in Panoply's area is more comfortable thus workers can concentrate better in working. Moreover, even though it's true that Panoply's short work shifts time makes its low on-the-job accident rate, we don't konw whether Quiot and Panoply are similar in other aspects. It is entirely possible that they are quite different. 我不明白为什么这两句话要放在for instance这句话的后面 Perhaps Quiot produces chemical products and within its producing process, workers would easily harmed by poison gas, while Panoply just produces small cokies and its producing process is simple and safe. In addition, no informaiton about Quiot's optimized choice is provided in this argument. 你这句话就和这段开头的假设没有关系了 Whether Quiot can simply copy Panoply's work shifts mode is questionable. Instead of shortening one hour,shortening one and a half hour may be the best choice for Quiot to maxmize its profit with controlling its on-the-job accident rate at the same level of that of Panoply. Maybe shortening one and a half hours is the best choice. Without providing more evidence to support the reliability of implied assumption mentioned above, we cannot accept the speaker's assertion that shortening work shifts time by one hour will reduce accidents in working process in Quiot.

总的来说这一段内容太多 显得很杂乱 一般一段话的篇幅控制在6句话以内

Second,experts' conclusion cited that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers is assumed to be true without solid support. However, the experts' conclusion may result from some research which is not valid. For example, the sample they chose may not have been representative of workers in Quiot Manufacturing, observing workers who mainly use their brain to work. Another possibility is that the experts' words cited by the author may be out of date, if coming from some decades years ago paper. Since the author doesn't offer the detail about who are the experts, how the experts get this conclusion, the fundamental assumption is not effectively backed.

我觉得这个assumption属于合理的 当原题引述专家观点时 我们假设专家是可靠的 这个是合理的 你不能什么都质疑  注意专家没有结论 只是提出一种A会导致B理论
Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. 专家的话是没有错的 因为这句话不是说Quiot的情况而只是引述以前的研究

我觉得这里的假设是Quiot工人确实缺乏休息和睡眠并且这个是意外的原因 然后你可以提出别的原因导致意外


Third, even though experts' conclusion cited is reliable, another assumption implied (implicitly made) that workers will sleep more if Quiot shortens work shifts time is also incredible 这个词不太合适 . The experts talks about the relationship of on-the-job accidents and fatigue and sleep deprivation, while the author discuss about that of on-the-job accidents and shorter work shifts time. Here comes the problem: longer work shifts time does not equal to fatigue and sleep deprivation. ( 这里应该是说 Longer work shift may not be the main cause of sleep deprivation and fatigue.  而不是用汉语的 不等于 )Even Quiot's work shifts time is longer, it is totally possible that workers will spend extra time in enterntainment. For example, for those who do not have enough time to do shopping in old schedule, they may go to farther shopping malls and thus they may even spend less time in sleep if the working schedule is changed. Without offering sufficient information to prove that workers will surely spend more time in sleep, it is going to far to say that this measure is effective.



Finally, the speaker assumes shortening work shifts time will increase productivity, which is never mentioned before.Perhaps productivity will instead if workers are forced to stop working at their most efficient time. Without evidence provided to support the assumed result of changing work shifts time, we don't know whether this measure will have impact on Quiot's productivity.

我觉得你对assumption这个概念理解有问题
并不是原题中任何两件事之间的关系都可以认为是假设的
假设是指这两者之间是否存在某种关系我们并不确实 但是假设是存在的
但是你这里说的shorter shift和productivity之间的关系是基于shorter shift会降低accident这个假设的 而减少accident之后则会提升productivity 这个似乎也无可厚非

我还是建议你先用英语写提纲 用汉语展开 不要直接发全文

In sum, to better support his argument, the author should carefully check more details and provide better evidence to make sure his implied assumptions mentioned above are reliable. Otherwise, it is suspect that Quiot can reduce on-the-job accidents and increace productivity by shortening work shifts time by one hour.

raikkonen36UID: 2871931

1.        Quiot Manufacturing more on-the-job accidents 和 fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers 关系
2.        shorten each of our three work shifts 在Quiot Manufacturing的可行性
3.        shorten each of our three work shifts 是否能保证get adequate amounts of sleep

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

raikkonen36 发表于 2014-10-28 20:51
1.        Quiot Manufacturing more on-the-job accidents 和 fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers 关系 ...

我觉得第二点写不出什么东西来 另外还是要注意回应题目要求
我写的你可以看看

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=3#pid1778917439

lisa_CUID: 2678347

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-27 21:43
全文

The author has a concern on the problem of on-the-job accidents in Quiot and argues th ...

谢谢王老师宝贵意见

1. ARGU部分先多写写题纲思路上矫正一下再走全文，ARGU希望各类instruction的都能练到一遍
2. 一段话内容太多的问题在I\A都出现了，这个下次写注意
3. Assumption理解要准确些，这点之前完全没有去留意，都是找完攻击点就开始放到各段落里，要切题

有个疑惑，如果攻击点变少，自己又尚且还没有练成准点的能力的话，会不会考场上写出的文章容易单薄，有个说法说字数多的一般分高，如果在考场上把主要攻击的前三点写完，能不能把并不是特别切题的其他点扔到倒数第二段?

>_<最近多写写A的提纲


32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

相关argument：104,105,106,167

提纲：

主旨：The speaker recommended shortening the work shifts by one hour in Quiot in order to lower on-the-job accident rate and increase productivity with the belief that this measure could enable workers to get more sleep. Assumptions his argument based on about real reason of Panoply's lower accident,failure of Quiot's current time arrangement to guarantee workers' adequate sleep and relationship between work shifts time and workers' sleep quantity are problemic when we closely examinate them.

First, it is assumed that Panoply's lower accident rate is due to its shorter work shifts time.
第一段：关于Panoply事故当的主因是工作轮岗时间短的假设不一定成立。
（首先，P家事故少未必是因为工作轮岗时间短。也可能P家员工安全培训教育做得好或是在天气舒适的地方员工更能集中注意力工作。如果工作轮岗时间少不是导致事故少的主要原因，那么Quiot学习Panoply的时间安排未必能达到降低事故的目的。）

Second, an implied assumption when the speaker cited experts' claim about relationship of accident rate and  fatigue and sleep deprivation is that Quiot's current work shifts time is too long to guarantee workers' sleep.
第二段：关于Quiot目前时间安排下工人缺觉和疲劳的假设不成立。
（作者引用专家的意见，说明缺觉和疲劳对工作事故影响大，有个隐含的假设就是Quiot的工人在目前的时间安排下有缺觉和疲劳的情况。这个假设不合理，当前工作时间安排也许是合理的，工人的休息已经得到保证，真正的原因可能是因为Quiot没有给生产机器做例行检查导致机器故障伤及工人。这个假设不成立的话，那么给工人更多时间相当于是浪费，不查明事故高发的主因并不能起到控制事故率的作用）

Third, the author simply assumed that workers of Quiot will spend more time in sleeping.
第三段：关于改革后，Quiot的工人会将多出的时间用于睡眠的假设不成立。
（工人可能将这部分多出来的时间用于购物、打牌、看电影等，这样的话Quiot调整工作时间并不能保证工人的休息质量，也就起不到所谓的休息质量保证之后事故会减少的效果）

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

lisa_C 发表于 2014-10-29 11:03
谢谢王老师宝贵意见

1. ARGU部分先多写写题纲思路上矫正一下再走全文，ARGU希望各类instruction的都 ...

1. ARGU部分先多写写题纲思路上矫正一下再走全文，ARGU希望各类instruction的都能练到一遍
2. 一段话内容太多的问题在I\A都出现了，这个下次写注意
3. Assumption理解要准确些，这点之前完全没有去留意，都是找完攻击点就开始放到各段落里，要切题

有个疑惑，如果攻击点变少，自己又尚且还没有练成准点的能力的话，会不会考场上写出的文章容易单薄，有个说法说字数多的一般分高，如果在考场上把主要攻击的前三点写完，能不能把并不是特别切题的其他点扔到倒数第二段?

既然不切题当然就不应该写
字数越多分数越高的假设是缺乏实证数据支持的  
能把3点写清楚 没有病句 就很好了  


>_<最近多写写A的提纲

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

相关argument：104,105,106,167

提纲：

主旨：The speaker recommended shortening the work shifts by one hour in Quiot in order to lower on-the-job accident rate and increase productivity with the belief that this measure could enable workers to get more sleep. Assumptions his argument based on about real reason of Panoply's lower accident,failure of Quiot's current time arrangement to guarantee workers' adequate sleep and relationship between work shifts time and workers' sleep quantity are problemic when we closely examinate them.

First, it is assumed that Panoply's lower accident rate is due to its shorter work shifts time.
第一段：关于Panoply事故当的主因是工作轮岗时间短的假设不一定成立。
（首先，P家事故少未必是因为工作轮岗时间短。也可能P家员工安全培训教育做得好或是在天气舒适的地方员工更能集中注意力工作。如果工作轮岗时间少不是导致事故少的主要原因，那么Quiot学习Panoply的时间安排未必能达到降低事故的目的。）

其实这里有一个很关键的点你需要讨论 就是百分比的基数 Q的意外数量比P要少30%，但是这种比较的前提是两间工厂的生产规模是差不多的  工人人数是差不多的   安全教育培训可以讲 天气这个就有点偏 或者可以说 工作环境舒适 有没有AC等



Second, an implied assumption when the speaker cited experts' claim about relationship of accident rate and  fatigue and sleep deprivation is that Quiot's current work shifts time is too long to guarantee workers' sleep.
第二段：关于Quiot目前时间安排下工人缺觉和疲劳的假设不成立。
（作者引用专家的意见，说明缺觉和疲劳对工作事故影响大，有个隐含的假设就是Quiot的工人在目前的时间安排下有缺觉和疲劳的情况。这个假设不合理，当 前工作时间安排也许是合理的，工人的休息已经得到保证，真正的原因可能是因为Quiot没有给生产机器做例行检查导致机器故障伤及工人。这个假设不成立的 话，那么给工人更多时间相当于是浪费，不查明事故高发的主因并不能起到控制事故率的作用）

主旨句中assumption作为一个名词后面跟从句不合适  另外不要说假设不合理 而要说需要更多的证据来检验假设是否成立 老G思维要慢慢走出来  

感觉这里涉及到两个相关的假设

It was assumed that workers did not have enough sleep which had led to more accidents  
这里主要要检查工人的实际睡眠和疲劳情况以及探索其他导致意外的可能性  但是注意不要和上一段的内容重复


Another assumption was that if the shifts were reduced, the workers would have more sleep
这一点基本就是你下面说的


Third, the author simply assumed that workers of Quiot will spend more time in sleeping.
第三段：关于改革后，Quiot的工人会将多出的时间用于睡眠的假设不成立。
（工人可能将这部分多出来的时间用于购物、打牌、看电影等，这样的话Quiot调整工作时间并不能保证工人的休息质量，也就起不到所谓的休息质量保证之后事故会减少的效果）

lisa_CUID: 2678347

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-29 17:36
1. ARGU部分先多写写题纲思路上矫正一下再走全文，ARGU希望各类instruction的都能练到一遍
2. 一段 ...

王老师，我修改了一下，不知道现在这样会不会好一些

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

相关argument：104,105,106,167

提纲：

主旨：The speaker recommended shortening the work shifts by one hour in Quiot in order to lower on-the-job accident rate and increase productivity with the belief that this measure could enable workers to get more sleep. Assumptions his argument based on about real reason of Panoply's lower accident,failure of Quiot's current time arrangement to guarantee workers' adequate sleep and relationship between work shifts time and workers' sleep quantity are problemic when we closely examinate them.

First, it is assumed that Panoply and Quiot are similar in production size and employee size, and Panoply's lower accident rate is due to its shorter work shifts time.
第一段：关于Panoply和Quiot生产规模工人数量差不多的假设和关于Panoply事故少的主因是工作轮岗时间短的假设不一定成立。
（首先，百分比的基数问题， Q的意外数量比P要少30%，但是这种比较的前提是两间工厂的生产规模是差不多的 、工人人数是差不多的，但是关于这点我们无从得知，需要提供更多资料，否则完全有可能是因为Ｑ的工人数量少生产规模小所以相比Ｐ发生事故的数量绝对值小。此外，P家事故少的原因也可能是P家员工安全培训教育做得好。如果两家企业不相似、工作轮岗时间少不是导致事故少的主要原因，那么Quiot学习Panoply的时间安排未必能达到降低事故的目的。）

Second, when the speaker cited experts' claim about relationship of accident rate and  fatigue and sleep deprivation, there was an implied assumption lacks evidence that Quiot's current work shifts time is too long to guarantee workers' sleep.
第二段：关于Quiot目前时间安排下工人缺觉和疲劳的假设不成立。
（作者引用专家的意见，说明缺觉和疲劳对工作事故影响大，有个隐含的假设就是Quiot的工人在目前的时间安排下有缺觉和疲劳的情况。这个假设不合理，当前工作时间安排也许是合理的，工人的休息已经得到保证，所以需要提供更多关于当前工人的实际睡眠和疲劳情况的信息。同时也要考虑到其他导致意外的可能，除了之前提及的安全教育问题，也可能是因为Ｑ车间灯光昏暗通风不畅工人难以集中注意力）

Third, the author simply assumed that if the shifts were reduced, the workers would have more sleep
第三段：关于改革后，Quiot的工人会将多出的时间用于睡眠的假设不成立。
（工人可能将这部分多出来的时间用于购物、打牌、看电影等，这样的话Quiot调整工作时间并不能保证工人的休息质量，也就起不到所谓的休息质量保证之后事故会减少的效果）

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

lisa_C 发表于 2014-11-8 01:07
王老师，我修改了一下，不知道现在这样会不会好一些

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vi ...

主旨：The speaker recommended shortening the work shifts by one hour in Quiot in order to lower on-the-job accident rate and increase productivity with the belief that this measure could enable workers to get more sleep. Assumptions his argument based on about real reason of Panoply's lower accident,failure of Quiot's current time arrangement to guarantee workers' adequate sleep and relationship between work shifts time and workers' sleep quantity are problemic when we closely examinate them.

assumptions开头这句的句型很纠结  
另外 不要说assumption有问题 而要说我们需要调查相关的assumption是否成立从而决定论证是否成立
这是老G和新G的根本区别 基本上在新G里不应出现flawed problematic unconvincing 这类字眼 不要先入为主的认为argument是错的  

后面的中间段感觉还不错 就是不要老说假设不对 而要改口说不知道假设对不对 并且在中间段结束时指出如果假设不对会怎样  这明明就是题目的要求嘛  不是针对你啊 就搞不懂为什么这么多人 包括一些编书的人都不看题目要求