下面是我写的GRE作文，水平很烂，请大家帮忙评评。

guwei222UID: 160772

In this argument, the arguer advocates that all Mylar elementary and secondary schools should provide breakfast for all students each school day in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and also improve academic performance. To substantiate this claim, the arguer puts forth a study purporting to track 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve and provide breakfast to them at school for six-month. Moreover, the arguer cites the result of the study that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school and even they tended to perform better in school. For several critical flaws, the seemingly plausible argument is not convincing.
To begin with, the arguer commits a fallacy of non-caused relationship in assuming that children regularly eating a healthful breakfast will automatically result in both reducing absenteeism and tardiness and improving academic performance. However, the arguer does not provide sufficient evidence to support the claim. The evidence cited, while suggestive in trends, is inadequate to warrant its truth because there is no exact reasons to assure that the conclusion will occur sequently. In addition, the arguer ignores other possible reasons that might undermine the analysis. For example, we do not know where the children participating in the study were chosen from and what if they were chosen from those who already abided by regulations and also performed well in school. Therefore, the Mylar school maybe overemphasize the importance of breakfast plan impinging on students’ behavior.
Furthermore, the evidence cited in the argument is too vague to be informative in the vaguest possible terms. The statement does not indicate who conducted this survey or how the survey was conducted. It is possible that the study was carried out by a company selling school breakfast. It is equally possible that the method adopted by the researchers rule out any other factors which may contribute to the reduction of children’s absenteeism and tardiness and their well-behaved performance. We have strong reasons to question the creditability and neutrality of the survey in which the conductor may be prone to manipulate the figures to his own advantage for particular aim. Regrettably, because the argument offers no evidence that would remove these kinds of interpretation, it is impossible to assess whether or not this is the case.
Finally, granted the study on which this argument is based is effective, we still can not ensure that Mylar school should made breakfast available for all students including elementary and secondary school students before each school day, because the survey only addressed schoolchildren from five to twelve. It seems that the arguer unfairly equates the secondary school students with those elementary pupils, which is actually disparate. Apparently, differences between teenage juveniles and primarily scholars such as their healthy condition clearly outweigh the surface similarities, thereby making the analogy untenable. In these case, even if the survey itself is operative, the result of the research in elementary pupils will not necessarily be applicable to secondary students.
From the reasoning above, we can see that there is still gap between the facts cited by the auguer and the conclusion. The arguer should give us more evidence and more convincing reasons in order to make his or her conclusion acceptable.

chicagochenUID: 116575

这是一篇不错的gre argument文章 按gre的套路论述得比较充分  语言也还不错。
但是楼主 gre作文有专门板块 这种考试型太强的文章我们不准备在本版处理。

guwei222UID: 160772

谢谢chicagochen，我觉得逻辑和句子连贯上可能还有些问题。
我上了gre作文版了，可是我只能跟贴不能发贴，这是为什么呀？

genie05UID: 30358

在精华去和ISSUE写做等是只能跟不能发的，这里和TAISHA的方式不同。
请楼主在作文稍微往下看,只要是在这里能发，在作文版就可以发。