issue95,继续PP3模考,自己没改,大家看看我的真实水平吧!

xqmelissaUID: 140370

ISSUE 95
People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork requires cooperation, which motivates people much more than individual competition does.
众人拾柴火焰高。团队需要合作，这样才能比个体之间的竞争更能激发人们的激情

With the development of the society, more and more people find that it is difficult to gain a objective by an single person. I think a reason for this phenomenon is that people could work more productively in teams than individually, although there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation.

On the one hand, It is team cooperation, other than working individually, that could motive more inspirations. As we know, people working together toward an objective should often discuss and give their suggestions to each other, which is an effective approach to obtain new inspirations and catalyze working motivations. The result is that productivity is increased rapidly. While working by individuals, one should solve all problem faced in the job, even if one has no ideas, the only way is continuing thinking, which could induce waste of time and job's unproductively. There are many economic theories which are established not by a single economist, but by a group of economists. Why they choose this way to gain success? Did they not know that the contribution should be shared by all members of a group, while if they did it individually, they could enjoy the success by themselves? An obvious answer is that it is difficult to attain an accomplishment nowadays only relying on their own strength, since the way to obtain success is so throny that it need many persons to catalyze their inspirations and improve the working productivity. Take a famous economic theory, the Factor Endowment Theory as an example. This theory was established by two economists, Heckscher and Ohlin. In the way to discover the truth, these two economists worked together and discussed often in order to gain new ideas and exchange data they collected. No help from Ohlin, Heckscher could not collect so many data which were necessary for the research. No help from Hechscher, Ohlin could not generate so many good ideas for the research, either. Therefore, it is only the team cooperation that could help people work more productively.

On the other hand, team cooperation also could avoid the situation that individual's laziness, and the result is that the job could be finished productively. Since there is a team to finish the job, every person in this team has their own responsibility, which is a part of the whole job. If a person does not finish the allocated duty, the whole job will be deterred. Therefore, it is an effective supervising mechanism that promote everyone in the teamwork more efficiently and productively in order to finish the job successfully and in time. While working by individuals is absent of this mechanism. Whether the single person could finish the job is not affect on others, it is a factor that possible to engender laziness. For instance, in an assembly line, each worker has own jobs, which are connected closely in order to finish a production. If one work does not finish his job on time in that he is lazy, the whole product should be stopped to wait for his job. As a consequence, it is team cooperation that could stimulate people's working impetus.

Admittedly, there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation, such as it is easy to produce the phenomenon that people shirk responsibility to each other and inducing inefficient. As a Chinese, I could understand this deficit deeply since it is a lesson for all Chinese enterprises. State-owned enterprises, a form of company in the period of plan economy system, engendered many low-efficient jobs. Since the responsibility allocated to a person is not clearly, workers had a chance to seek for the hole of the allocation and reduced job as many as possible. The result of it is that this system impedes the development of economy and less production. However, if the leader of a team could seek an effective approach to solve this problem, it is still team cooperation that could make more productivity than individuals.

To sum up, comparing the productivity of working by a team and by a single person, although there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation, it is still the team cooperation that have inevitably advantages to increase productivity, since it could stimulate inspirations and avoid laziness efficiently. (708 words)


改了几个错别字,其他的一点都没动,就想看看用自己最真实的水平之后,大家能有什么反映!
不要客气!砸啊!

PS:明天回家了,以后上网时间可能会减少,我会尽量来改作文的,不过家里电话线实在太 -------

谢谢了各位!

apolloxpUID: 156355

占座了
过会或明天（其实是今天）来看

paisleyUID: 64183

With the development of the society, more and more people find that it is difficult to gain a（应该是an） objective by an（应该是a） single person. I think a（最好用one） reason for this phenomenon is that people could work more productively in teams than individually, although there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation.

On the one hand, It（这里不该大写I） is team cooperation, other（应是rather） than working individually, that could motive more inspirations. As we know, people working together toward an objective should often discuss and give their suggestions to each other, which is an effective approach to obtain new inspirations and catalyze working motivations. The result is that productivity is increased rapidly. While working by individuals, one should solve all problem faced in the job, even if one has no ideas, the only way is continuing thinking, which could induce waste of time and job's unproductively（unproductivity吧？）. There are many economic theories which are established not by a single economist, but by a group of economists. Why they choose this way to gain success? Did they not know that the contribution should be shared by all members of a group, while if they did it individually, they could enjoy the success by themselves? An obvious answer is that it is difficult to attain an accomplishment nowadays only relying on their own strength, since the way to obtain success is so throny that it need（少s） many persons to catalyze their inspirations and improve the working productivity. Take a famous economic theory, the Factor Endowment Theory as an example. This theory was established by two economists, Heckscher and Ohlin. In the way to discover the truth, these two economists（economist一词用的太频繁了，用they即可） worked together and discussed often in order to gain new ideas and exchange data they collected. No（用without比较好，还少了the） help from Ohlin, Heckscher could not collect so many（应是much，data不可数） data which were necessary for the research. No（同上） help from Hechscher, Ohlin could not generate so many good ideas for the research, either. Therefore, it is only the team cooperation that could help people work more productively.

On the other hand, team cooperation also could avoid the situation that individual's laziness, and the result is that the job could be finished productively. Since there is a team to finish the job, every person in this team has their own responsibility, which is a part of the whole job. If a person does not finish the allocated duty, the whole job will be deterred. Therefore, it is an effective supervising mechanism that promote（少s） everyone in the teamwork more efficiently and productively in order to finish the job successfully and in time. While working by individuals is absent of this mechanism. Whether the single person could finish the job is not affect on others, it is a factor that possible（it is a necessary factor即可） to engender laziness. For instance, in an assembly line, each worker has own jobs, which are connected closely in order to finish a production. If one work does not finish his job on time in that he is lazy, the whole product should be stopped to wait for his job. As a consequence, it is team cooperation that could stimulate people's working impetus.

Admittedly, there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation, such as it is easy to produce the phenomenon（as the phenomenon seems unavoidable即可） that people shirk responsibility to each other and inducing inefficient. As a Chinese, I could understand this deficit deeply since it is a lesson for all Chinese enterprises. State-owned enterprises, a form of company in the period of plan economy system, engendered many low-efficient jobs. Since the responsibility allocated to a person is not clearly, workers had a chance to seek for the hole of the allocation and reduced job as many as possible. The result of it is that this system impedes the development of economy and less production. However, if the leader of a team could seek an effective approach to solve this problem, it is still team cooperation that could make more productivity than individuals.这段太长了点，其实前几句话就够了。

To sum up, comparing the productivity of working by a team and by a single person, although there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation, it is still the team cooperation that have（应是has） inevitably advantages to increase productivity, since it could stimulate inspirations and avoid laziness efficiently（应是effectively，这是“有效地”，efficiently是“有效率的”）. (708 words)

https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... d=843331#post843331
这个素材你可以参考

写得不错啊，4分肯定有了。虽然没有什么很深刻的地方，不过这个题目的确不容易出彩，这样也就差不多了。

apolloxpUID: 156355

People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork requires cooperation, which motivates people much more than individual competition does.
众人拾柴火焰高。团队需要合作，这样才能比个体之间的竞争更能激发人们的激情

With the development of the society, more and more people find that it is difficult to gain a objective by an single person. I think a reason for this phenomenon is that people could work more productively in teams than individually, although there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation.

On the one hand, It is team cooperation, other than working individually, that could motive more inspirations. As we know, people working together toward an objective should为什么是should?need to often discuss and give their suggestions to each other, which is an effective approach to obtain new inspirations and catalyze好词 working motivations. The result is that productivity is has increased rapidly. While working by individuals, one should solve all problem faced in the job, even if one has no ideas, the only way is continuing thinking, which could induce waste of time and job's unproductively. There are many economic theories which are established not by a single economist, but by a group of economists. Why they choose this way to gain success? Did they not know that the contribution should be shared by all members of a group, while if they did it individually, they could enjoy the success by themselves? An obvious answer is that it is difficult to attain an accomplishment nowadays only relying relying only on their own strength, since the way to obtain success is so throny that it need many persons to catalyze their inspirations and improve the working productivity. Take a famous economic theory, the Factor Endowment Theory as an example. This theory was established by two economists, Heckscher and Ohlin. In the way to discover the truth, these two economists worked together and discussed often in order to gain new ideas and exchange data they collected. No help from Ohlin, Heckscher could not collect so many data which were necessary for the research. No help from Hechscher, Ohlin could not generate so many good ideas for the research, either. Therefore, it is only the team cooperation that could help people work more productively.

On the other hand, team cooperation also could avoid the situation that individual's laziness, and the result is that the job could be finished productively. Since there is a team to finish the job, every person in this team has their own responsibility, which is a part of the whole job. If a person does not finish the allocated duty, the whole job will be deterred. Therefore, it is an effective supervising mechanism that promote everyone in the teamwork more efficiently and productively in order to finish the job successfully and in time. While working by individuals is absent of this mechanism. Whether the single person could finish the job is not affect on others, it is a factor that possible ？？？ to engender laziness. For instance, in an assembly line, each worker has own jobs, which are connected closely in order to finish a production. If one work does not finish his job on time in that he is lazy, the whole product should be stopped to wait for his job. 这个例子。。。好像就是把every member in the team换成every worker，把前面的分析又抄了一遍 As a consequence, it is team cooperation that could stimulate people's working impetus.

Admittedly, there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation, such as it is easy to produce the phenomenon that people shirk responsibility to each other and inducing inefficient. As a Chinese, I could understand this deficit deeply since it is a lesson for all Chinese enterprises. State-owned enterprises, a form of company in the period of plan economy system, engendered many low-efficient jobs. Since the responsibility allocated to a person is not clearly, workers had a chance to seek for the hole of the allocation and reduced job as many as possible. The result of it is that this system impedes the development of economy and results in less production. However, if the leader of a team could seek an effective approach to solve this problem, it is still team cooperation that could make more productivity than individuals.As a Chinese，我觉得这个例子最有说服力了

To sum up, comparing the productivity of working by a team and by a single person, although there are still some deficits existing in the team cooperation, it is still the team cooperation that have inevitably advantages to increase productivity, since it could stimulate inspirations and avoid laziness efficiently. (708 words)
题目中把teamwork与individual competition做比较，而你的文章是拿teamwork和个人单干在做比较。感觉对题目的回应偏了
不过，词汇量好大啊，而且很能写

catcat000UID: 141317

加油喔~melissa,等你再来的时候可能偶已经考完了TT恐怖……

xqmelissaUID: 140370

谢谢楼上几位的修改，拷下来好好研究一下，就剩一周了，最后冲刺了！