写了一篇TPO23的独立作文，求大神指导~~~

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写了一篇TPO23的独立作文，模拟下考试，内容除了拼写以外，没有什么大的修改。请大神帮忙看看，作文这样写的话怎么样呢？考试的话大概可以拿什么分数~~~~拜托拜托~~~~

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Composition:

In contemporary society, some people prefer to work quickly to finish the project risking making mistakes, while others want to work slowly and make everything  correct. From my perspective, I will choose the first. The reasons can be listed as follow.

First, with the rapid development of the world, we live in the society filled with new and interesting things. Completing the job with less time can provide us with more time to learn something new. I always finish the work the teacher assigns quickly and then I can surf the Internet to learn what happened around the world and equip myself with more knowledge, small to whose dog has been lost, big to the new discovery of science.

What's more, finishing the work quickly does not mean that we tend to make more mistakes than working slowly. Take my deskmate , Ellen, for example. Every English class, we will have a quiz. Ellen, almost everytime , is the first one to hand in the paper and It does not show that she tends to make more mistakes. Actually, she is always appreciated by our teacher
because of the high correct rate. In contrast, those who finish the quiz slowly seems like to make more errors. Since they are unsure about the answers, sometimes they rectify the right one to the wrong.

Even though we may finish the job perfectly with plenty of time, it dose not always worth it. Sometimes, we can ignore some small mistakes which do not affect the whole project, and the time saved we can use to do other more meaningful things, like doing sports, or cultivating our hobbies.

Based on the description above, I entirely agree to work quickly and make the most use of the time we saved to do something different to have more experience.