issue求教

♂0℃男孩UID: 2621086

题目：
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

正文：

Generally, we can understand a society by studying its major cities as they reflect some aspects of a society. What we can see in cities like the number and height of high rise buildings, the fluence of its traffic during rush hour, how people behave when conflict happens show us the conditon of economy, city administation, citizen politeness and so on. With more carefully perusing, we can even know something not shown in apparence such as the structure of the society and how the society works. Thus, we can get to know some aspects of a sprcific society.

But we can't judge the condition of a society just according to cities. On one hand, small cities is different from major cities and we will miss a lot of important information during the trip only scrutinizing major cities. Some problem, like traffic, house price in major cities will be easily dealt with in small cities while problem in some small cities like their politic opacity cannot be found in major cities. Major cities and small cities give us different information about a society. On the other hand, apart from cities, there're lots of people living and lots of economy activities happening in rural area. Farmers, are, sometimes, the major component in a society although their total economic contribution is less than city people.That what farmers' life are, how is their healthy condition, are they hopeful all reflect the characteristic of a society. Ironically, although the larger area country occupy, them get less attention while major cities have already been studied so much, we still suspect that if we know them enough.

A society is so complicated that problem like poverty and low efficient farming in country definitly cannot be shadowed by the superficial boom in cities. What we see just in major cities is not the whole of a society and there're more waiting us to know outside the major cities. Furthermore, major cities, small cities and country should be analysed together.Although there're still more people living in country than in city in China, more and more peasants come into cities these days, especially major cities. Some of them live at the edge of major cities. Conflicts emerge at the time we realise the gap between them. Is their custom appropriate in cities? Do they have problem dur to their accent? Furthermore, the economic connection between city and country increase dramatically which refrain us from seeing them apart.

岳然UID: 3654715

不要用你不知道怎么用的词，比如peruse和scrutinize
遇到不知道的表达一定要去查，不要自己编造（比如politic opacity）
第一段从With more carefully perusing开始属于assertion lacking proof。你要具体论述为什么通过研究大城市能了解社会如何运转
结构有点混乱，论点散落在各处，除了第二段我知道在对比大城市和小城镇以外，剩下的两段是什么作用，论证什么论点，都不是很明确。