[ AW 4.0 诊断计划 ] 正式来袭! (请仔细阅读规矩)

winnersjtvxqUID: 3585133

tesolchina 发表于 2016-5-12 09:35
你的文章基本结构和句型都符合题目要求
具体内容可以参考我的博客里的示范 比对一下有没有漏掉重要的攻击 ...

好，我现在也正在练习挑选几十个pool中的题目谢谢提纲，谢谢老师！

winnersjtvxqUID: 3585133

若如此 发表于 2016-5-12 13:14
Issue比较灵活, Argument通常有固定的模板, 也就是套路. 你的感觉没错, Argument比Issue好写很多
句式 ...

我会注意搜集一些例子的‘干货’，以免考场上发现不了。谢谢版主！

黄嘉小白UID: 3682893

先G后T党~6月5号第一次考，才开始准备，用的就是王老师的材料撒~我觉得作文这个东西很难提高，因为其他部分错了还能改，而作文每次都是自我感觉良好（大学上写作课的时候哈），最后分数差异很大，现实很骨感~跪求大神指点，自己写的第一篇argument，现在每天4个小时看作文，各列10篇提纲，因为列的很详细，很费时很担心考前列不玩，求指点迷津，感激不尽~
维科英汉词典      
To evaluate the recoommendations made by the director of student housing at Buckingham
College that the College should build a numberof new dormitories to serve the housing needs of  students, there are three more evidence about the current and the future demand of student dorms, the prices condition of student dorms and the off-campus fee on renting and whether attractive dormitories will make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham, which above need to be provided in detail and then to draw an sound conclusion.
First of all, the director should provide more evidence on the current and the future demand of student dorms. There is not absolute connection between the student number and the number of student dorms, for example, the more enrolling student come from the local and then they don’t need to be bothered by housing. Even if a positive relationship between the two, no one is undoubtedly sure that the student number will keep increasing over 50 years. Nowadays, the enrolling situation is good and as the tendency, there are a lot of things which will affect this trend in the later years, like the employment status, the quality of teaching. As a result, without evidence on relationship between the demand of student dorms and the growing number of student, to make such a recommendations may be a hasty decision.
What’s more, more evidence on the price in the student dorms and the off-campus fee. The director mentioned that the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years, which increases the difficulty for our students to afford off-campus housing, but without any evidence to show is it the real ideas from the student. We may consider the increases renting result from the improvement pf living condition and the rise of the average salary, and under such circumstances, the student can still afford it, and build op new dorms will lead to a waste.         In order to fully evaluate this article, we would also need to learn more about   whether attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll
at Buckingham. Of course, while choosing schools, we might take teaching level, the employment status and the school’s security condition and so on into account, but there is no evidence to show that whether attractive new dormitories will be a potential factor to affect students and their parents’s thoughts. Consequently, it will be a risky recommendation to serve the students’ demand.
To sum up, it is difficult to decide whether v building new dormitories may have learned to make it better to serve students’ need on housing and increase the enrollment. to assess the strength of the argument, the director might gather more information about different issues discussed above.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

黄嘉小白 发表于 2016-5-14 01:19
先G后T党~6月5号第一次考，才开始准备，用的就是王老师的材料撒~我觉得作文这个东西很难提高，因为其他部分 ...

我建议你看看Toulmin模型那个帖子
首先将题目的argument分作
claim data 和warrant  
然后再逐个讨论
你发练习的时候 可以先在每段的开头注明一下你这段重点讨论哪个claim  
以及和我写的示范和提纲比对一下
不管是我还是其他版主来看你写的练习 都不可能重头到尾看一遍  
你得把文章的presentation做得比较方便评阅  

这也是对参与这个活动同学的建议
找人点评需要有更强的目的性和针对性  
还有你竟然没抄题

若如此UID: 3649064

tesolchina 发表于 2016-5-14 19:58
我建议你看看Toulmin模型那个帖子
首先将题目的argument分作
claim data 和warrant  

额..刚才看得太快, 一时没发现他没达到要求....

真是麻烦王老师了, 不好意思

小米同学UID: 3697581

5月15日占楼
1. 个人基础
考过T 20分，不想重蹈复辙，离考G还有两个星期，平时会用英语记日记，写正式文章的时候感觉表达的方式太简单

2. 具体问题（highly recommended）
issue部分很让我着急的是思路问题，拿到题目的时候想到的东西太少，之后找范文的时候才恍然大悟还能这么写，然后就是感觉全面里面重复的语句会存在一些，觉得表达很累赘，但是写的时候又考虑字数

请提供一篇AW( 如果是Issue和Argument觉得有问题请分开两楼回复)的:
All college and university students would benefit from spending at least one semester studying in a foreign country.

1.中心论点：不同意上述说法
TS1  it will cost a lot of money to live in the foreign country for such a long time
TS2  spending one semester in s foreign university may break your study schedual in your university.
TS3  Still, the exchange program can bring some advangte to you. Living in a foreign country which is totally different from where you live for more than twenty years can be a precious experience you'll chirsh for a life-long time.

2.
TS1 Firstly, it will cost a lot of money to live in the foreign country for such a long time. Maybe some one would tell me that there are some scholarship we can apply to cover the expense during the semester. There is often the case that the scholarship can only cover the tuition of the exchange semester, we still need to pay for our living cost

3. 写作素材太少，写作的套路和技法也不成熟，目前最大的问题就是要在两个星期的时间达到至少3.5分，希望得到老师的建议

若如此UID: 3649064

小米同学 发表于 2016-5-15 21:56
5月15日占楼
1. 个人基础
考过T 20分，不想重蹈复辙，离考G还有两个星期，平时会用英语记日记，写正式文章 ...

两个星期有点赶, 请问你每天花费多长时间准备AW? 每天练习多少篇文章?

小米同学UID: 3697581

若如此 发表于 2016-5-15 23:21
两个星期有点赶, 请问你每天花费多长时间准备AW? 每天练习多少篇文章?

谢谢版主回复～
每天晚上三个小时，包括整理资料以及练习，每天写1篇issue，列两三篇提纲

黄嘉小白UID: 3682893

tesolchina 发表于 2016-5-14 19:58
我建议你看看Toulmin模型那个帖子
首先将题目的argument分作
claim data 和warrant  

好的，对不起，之前太不走心了~

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

小米同学 发表于 2016-5-15 21:56
5月15日占楼
1. 个人基础
考过T 20分，不想重蹈复辙，离考G还有两个星期，平时会用英语记日记，写正式文章 ...

前两个理由都是成立的 关于费用 你可以强调对于经济能力有限的同学不太合适 这样可以回应题目所讲的all students  
break study schedule这个point如何展开 或许强调一下海外的课程和自己大学的课程不太衔接会更具体
有时候仅仅想到point是不够的 要想到支撑的细节才能写出一个段落来  
至于第三个point 就有点和前面的不太一致  或许你可以强调只是部分专业的同学可以从中受益  这样也可以作为anticipate and address challenge来写  

另外，你要尝试将三个point合并成一个主旨句 而不是仅仅表明立场

小米同学UID: 3697581

tesolchina 发表于 2016-5-16 18:15
前两个理由都是成立的 关于费用 你可以强调对于经济能力有限的同学不太合适 这样可以回应题目所讲的all s ...

谢谢老师～

zhen2016gUID: 3710673

1.        考过T，没考过G，T 22分
2.        主要问题：
一、写的太慢，经常一篇文章要写近一个小时，而且是按王老师的要求写好了提纲的前提下。我自己总结了主要有点导致写的很慢：
（1）想的慢，虽然主题想好了，但是把这个主题很有逻辑的扩散成一个段很难，经常感觉无话可说。
（2）想好中文翻译成英文也慢，有的时候这种句式翻译不出来就要换别的句式来翻译导致耗费了很多时间。
（3）有时候想好了的主题句发现没啥可写的，又得换主题句耗费了时间。
  3.提供aw
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. 由于这道题要求我们讨论在多大程度同意某命题,以及这个命题何时成立、何时不成立,我 们的基本观点可以是
under conditions A or B, the statement is true because ...; when conditions C or D are met, the statement does not hold true because ...
而中间段就针对 conditions A/B/C/D 展开讨论即可。

关键词： technology thinking ability solve problems
提纲：
It is not deny that more and more people rely on technology to solve the problems and technology will soon substitute their thinking. But, i think whether or not our ability of thinking would deteriorate over time depends on the personal character and social roles we are in society. （1）For people who like thinking and enjoy finding new things, it will definitely improve their thinking ability. （2）What’s more, for people who invent these technology and want to invent more advanced technology that make life more convienent will also improve. （3）Nevertheless, if people don’t like thinking and want to solve problems all by technology, the statement may hold true.
这段存在的主要问题，我感觉语法上我感觉有挺多问题。
麻烦老师可以帮忙诊断一下，谢谢老师

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

zhen2016g 发表于 2016-5-19 10:07
1.        考过T，没考过G，T 22分
2.        主要问题：
一、写的太慢，经常一篇文章要写近一个小时，而且是按王老师的 ...

写文章花时间长的问题需要弄清楚时间花在哪里，是想不出写什么还是知道想写什么却要花很多时间组织句子来表达 这两个问题性质是不一样的  前者严格来讲不是英语的问题 而是思维的问题和内容的问题 要解决这个问题 需要多刷题库 多积累思路和例子  后者是语言功底的问题 需要通过多模仿多练习来提高  

一个好的主题句的其中一个特点就是要能够扩展 能往下写出3-4个句子来  
中间段展开有难度可能是因为干货不够  
你随便找几个我的示范里的中间段 分析一下 看看我是怎么展开的  通常来讲都是有干货的
it is not deny that 这明显有语法问题 这是基本功的问题 可以考虑用Grammarly 一个月200元左右

如果想单纯练习语言表达，可以先根据范文列一个提纲 照着提纲来写 这样就可以不必考虑写什么而专注于怎么写  
汉译英很难写好文章 要慢慢的建立一个自己喜欢喝熟悉的句子库 写的时候可以顺手拈来  

若如此UID: 3649064

zhen2016g 发表于 2016-5-19 10:07
1.        考过T，没考过G，T 22分
2.        主要问题：
一、写的太慢，经常一篇文章要写近一个小时，而且是按王老师的 ...

写一篇文章近一个小时.
童鞋你写了几篇AW了? 我刚开始也是1小时左右, 不过后来写多了就好了, 关键要掐时写作, 才有压迫感.

你提到 中文翻译成英文很慢. 这个可能和你阅读水平有关,  长难句都熟练了吗? 我写作的时候脑子里想的都是英文, 而且看多了长难句就会下意识写出一些 "小长难句". 以及你阅读水平上去了, 写作也会有相应提高.
个人建议, 把英语当作自己母语, 不要翻译, 这样很慢而且有可能语法出错

zhen2016gUID: 3710673

tesolchina 发表于 2016-5-19 11:41
写文章花时间长的问题需要弄清楚时间花在哪里，是想不出写什么还是知道想写什么却不要花很多时间组织句子 ...

嗯嗯 谢谢王老师的回复，我会注意这几点的。。