第一次写motivation letter, 请各位大虾帮帮忙修改一下

fuzhiqiang1996UID: 3776106

Dear Mr. /Mrs.

I appreciate that you can take time off your busy schedule to read my letter. This is a letter of my motivation to apply for the Master Program at KTH.  
First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is xxx, and I’m an undergraduate of xxx University. My major is Bachelor of Engineering in Mechatronics Engineering. I am looking forward to apply for the KTH’s Engineer Design (the track of Mechatronics Engineering) this year. I have great enthusiasm for this promising major. On the one hand, I have had a keen interest in robots since I was 10 years old, which influenced me to choose Mechatronics Engineering as my major at xx University. With the deepening of learning, I have a deeper understanding of mechanical design and circuit control, which stimulates my greater interest in this profession. On the other hand, Mechatronics is playing an increasingly important role in today’s society with the advent of the INDUSTRIE 4.0. There are still many promising areas in this major for us to study. Interest is the best teacher and with my efforts, I hope I can make contributions to this field in the future.
In the first two years, I did well in mathematics, physics and other major courses, which I believe would also be beneficial to my further study. My general GPA is 3.95/4 and the average point is 90.6/100. Besides theoretical study, I have taken part in many competitions where I put all I have learnt into practice. For example, I attended the robot competition in my university and was awarded the first prize. Also, I participated in the iGEM (International Genetically Engineered Machine Competition) at Boston in October and got the international silver medal. Those experiences were very rewarding as it deepened my understanding of mechatronics-related knowledge. While collaborating with different students in my groups, I also improved my communication skills as well as leadership qualities.
Besides competitions, I also focus myself on the scientific research. I spent much time doing experiments about control of the mechatronics system in the laboratory. And now I have four patents which have been submitted. I have a desire to gain more advance knowledge in graduate school so that I can put fruits of engineering into practice and change people’s lives. It is this desire that drives me to long for further study. I would be appreciated if I could be a candidate for Master Program at KTH.      
I am applying for this program with careful and thorough consideration. I believe that being a student in this program would not only empower my career development, but would give me the framework to utilize my full potentials.

Sincerely yours,
xxx