issue142帮忙看看，谢谢～

gra cie0213UID: 157500

严重超时，也不知什么时候可以限时完成，SIGH~
142"The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."

In order to survive and thrive, it is not sufficient for human being to follow the doctrines and principles conducted by authority. On the contrary, questioning authority is necessary to enhance even preserve society’s well being.

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, when referring to person, authority has two definitions: one that is invested with power to enforce laws, exact obedience, command, determine, or judge, and one that is appealed to as an expert. No matter questioning political and legal authority or being skeptical to expert in certain fields can be benefit to the development of the society. I will illustrate these points respectively.

Firstly, challenging political and legal authority can urge current government to work efficiently, responsively and honestly, even help to turnover wrongful government and establish a better one, which impels the process of the society development into further step. On the one hand, under the pressure of people’s supervision and question, the incumbent officials tent to take people’s requirement into account and pay more attention to their daily pursuits as well as private lives. And their efficient work can create a nice circumstance for the society to development, which is an indispensable element for a society to be prosperous. For example, the responsible work of policemen can to some extent make the crime rate decline; the efficient work governors may to a certain degree help to make sure the whole city, state, even country operate well. On the other hand, challenge of people to authority can be conductive to transform even thoroughly alter unreasonable social system and force the incompetent officials to give up power, which will impulse our society's move forward. One needs to look no further than the example of Independent War of America. Without skepticism of the authority of British Kingdom, the North America colonial would not have toppled down its rule, establishing an independent country and prosperous society of America would not have exited.

Secondly, following question to experts, principles behind the times will be discarded and new doctrines that can be helpful to the development of the society will be set up. So as to substantiate this statement, I just take two academic fields for example. With reference to the study of mass communication, in first a few decades of the 20 century, under the shadow of most prevailing theory -- hypodermic-needle theory, proposed by Berlo, a famous expert in the study of mass communication, which focused on the publicizing effect of media and emphasized that media can influence audiences’ opinions whenever media disseminate information to them, Joseph Klapper, put forward a new idea that besides mass media other factors can be responsible for the change of people’s opinion and it is very necessary to pay attention to what people demand and do with the media. Due to the challenge of Klapper to authority, audience analysis rather than effect analysis attracted more and more scholars’ attention, and people can know how to use media efficiently to communicate with each other, which is redound to development of society. Similarly, attractable to limitation of knowledge and experimental conditions, many scientific theories established by our ancestors were incorrect, therefore it is wise for us to revise them and create new ones. Otherwise, the centre of the universe is still the earth, and who created the human being is still the God.

However, not all of the challenge to authority can be of benefit to human beings and the prosperity of society. Some challenging such as questioning the abnormal lifestyle of a certain expert may be meaningless; some challenging may be harmful given 8 times coups in Philippines during just 17 years which wrecked the development of economy and the normal lives of people, putting society into a turbulent and confused situation. Therefore, only challenges that are consistent with interests of human beings can be encouraged.

To sum up, the well-being of a society can be enhanced by the suspicion to the authority when this suspicion is in accordance with the interests and willing of human beings.

讨厌下雨UID: 163095

嗯，不错的，语言上有些问题但不严重，文章结构清晰得很。

which is redound to development of society里面redound to是动词词组，应该去掉is
诸如此类的语法问题就不说了，靠自己注意吧：）

“Firstly”这段的on the one hand部分“And their efficient work can create a nice circumstance for the society to development, which is an indispensable element for a society to be prosperous. For example,”之后举了很多例子证明政府等部门的工作效率提高促进社会发展。我认为这点不应该费这么多笔墨，因为“置疑权威使得各个社会机构改善工作质量”才是主要。
本段的最后，关于“God”我有点疑问，这样公开的反对神创论是不是符合老美的宗教观念？疑问而已。

“Secondly”这段，“ With reference to the study of mass communication, ”之后这个长达六行的句子看得我好晕，你再看看能不能简化一下？长句很容易把握不好的...不过当确定用法地道的时候就没问题了。

尽管结构简单，但是很清楚，我觉得这样比Brainstorm但逻辑混乱不知所云好得多得多了，我只求能写成简单清楚的就好，前提是在45分钟里：）

gra cie0213UID: 157500

非常感谢指教，
我下次会注意语言问题～
With reference to the study of mass communication这句其实我写得时候就晕。把定语从句独立成句也许会清晰一点：）

飞越时空的猫UID: 159198

142"The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority."

In order to survive and thrive, it is not sufficient for human being to follow the doctrines and principles conducted by authority. On the contrary, questioning authority is necessary to enhance even preserve society’s well being. [这个递进关系是不是应该先preserve后enhance呢？]

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, when referring to person, authority has two definitions: one that is invested with power to enforce laws, exact obedience, command, determine, or judge, and one that is appealed to as an expert. [这个……汗……考试的时候不能让你查字典吧？还是记住的？那就N了] No matter questioning political and legal authority or being skeptical to expert in certain fields can be benefit to the development of the society. I will illustrate these points respectively.

Firstly, challenging political and legal authority can urge current government to work efficiently, responsively and honestly, even help to turnover wrongful government and establish a better one, which impels the process of the society[social?] development into [a] further step. On the one hand, under the pressure of people’s supervision and question, the incumbent officials tent to take people’s requirement into account and pay more attention to their daily pursuits as well as private lives. And their efficient work can create a nice circumstance for the society to development[develop], which is an indispensable element for a society to be prosperous. For example, the responsible work of policemen can to some extent make the crime rate decline; the efficient work governors may to a certain degree help to make sure the whole city, state, even country operate well. [这两个分句的to some extent位置好像有点别扭] On the other hand, challenge of people to authority can be conductive to transform even thoroughly alter unreasonable social system and force the incompetent officials to give up power, which will impulse our society's move forward. One needs to look no further than the example of Independent War of America. Without skepticism of the authority of British Kingdom, the North America colonial would not have toppled down its rule, establishing an independent country and prosperous society of America would not have exited[是说“没有出路”吗？没看懂的说]. [这段写挑战权力的authority]

Secondly, following question to experts, principles behind the times will be discarded and new doctrines that can be helpful to the development of the society will be set up. So as to substantiate this statement, I just take two academic fields for example. With reference to the study of mass communication, in first a few decades of the 20 century[??啥意思？], under the shadow of most prevailing theory -- hypodermic-needle theory, proposed by Berlo, a famous expert in the study of mass communication, which focused on the publicizing effect of media and emphasized that media can influence audiences’ opinions whenever media disseminate information to them, Joseph Klapper, put forward a new idea that besides mass media other factors can be responsible for the change of people’s opinion and it is very necessary to pay attention to what people demand and do with the media.[这句话too long了吧？还是标点点错了？] Due to the challenge of Klapper to authority[Klapper’s challenge to authority 会不会好一点？], audience analysis rather than effect analysis attracted more and more scholars’ attention, and people can know how to use media efficiently to communicate with each other, which is redound to development of society. Similarly, attractable to limitation of knowledge and experimental conditions, many scientific theories established by our ancestors were incorrect, therefore it is wise for us to revise them and create new ones. Otherwise, the centre of the universe is still the earth, and [the person] who created the human being is still the God. [这段写质疑学术上的权威]

However, not all of the challenge to authority can be of benefit to human beings and the prosperity of society. Some challenging such as questioning the abnormal lifestyle of a certain expert may be meaningless; some challenging may be harmful given 8 times coups in Philippines during just 17 years which wrecked the development of economy and the normal lives of people, putting society into a turbulent and confused situation. Therefore, only challenges that are consistent with interests of human beings can be encouraged.

To sum up, the well-being of a society can be enhanced by the suspicion to the authority when this suspicion is in accordance with the interests and willing of human beings.
[层次分明，结构清晰，就质疑政权和学术权威分两段平行讨论。举例丰富，呜，这是我永远的痛-__-lll   但语言上有模板的痕迹，还有注意一些小的语法错误。  就思想内容而言，感觉还可以再丰富一点，从更高的角度论证question authority的利，如权威并不一定是正确的，质疑权威可以让人们形成独立思考、不盲从的品质，使社会良性循环，等等。  总的来说，还是不错的，继续努力哦！]

gra cie0213UID: 157500

第三段本意是要说“没有置疑英皇的殖民统治就没有今天的美国社会”，表达有点问题，汗！
嗯，你的评论有道理，看来考虑得还是不够深刻，谢谢啊：）

飞越时空的猫UID: 159198

不谢不谢，彼此彼此，也谢谢你帮我看的。：）
btw， 你是哪天考啊？

gra cie0213UID: 157500

8月25，你呢，你ISSUE9的帖我无法显示，好奇怪哦

飞越时空的猫UID: 159198

我8。16
那个我也打不开，气死，正在请教imong

六翼小宇UID: 162533

142"The well-being of a society is enhanced 这个限定词很重要，表示质疑权威的结果是well-being增强了，暗含本来就又well-being了，你下面的例子有几个有问题when many of its people question authority."

In order to survive and thrive, it is not sufficient for human being to follow the doctrines and principles conducted by authority. On the contrary, questioning authority is necessary to enhance even preserve society’s well being.

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, when referring to person, authority has two definitions: one that is invested with power to enforce laws, exact obedience, command, determine, or judge, and one that is appealed to as an expert. 不要直接引用字典上的定义，一来考试的时候不可能，二来ets会以为你很没有创造力直接写上definition就可以了，下定义也是一种论证方法 No matter questioning political and legal authority or being skeptical to expert in certain fields can be benefit to the development of the society. 会不会一定对社会的well-being呢？两个概念不同I will illustrate these points respectively.这个定义本来authority可以指人，也可以指观点等等，我写这篇是特意回避了这个问题。

Firstly, challenging political and legal authority can urge current government to work efficiently, responsively and honestly, even help to turnover wrongful government and establish a better one, which impels the process of the society development into further step.为什么不点到题目的well-being呢？就是点一下prosperous.也好，其实well-being和welfare是同义词，但是和你的which impels the process of the society development into further step还是有点逻辑上的差距的On the one hand, under the pressure of people’s supervision and question, the incumbent officials tent to take people’s requirement into account and pay more attention to their daily pursuits as well as private lives. And their efficient work can create a nice circumstance for the society to development, which is an indispensable element for a society to be prosperous. For example, the responsible work of policemen can to some extent make the crime rate decline; the efficient work governors may to a certain degree help to make sure the whole city, state, even country operate well. 你这两个例子是你前面的论点带来的么？：）没有说服力On the other hand, challenge of people to authority can be conductive to transform even thoroughly alter unreasonable social system and force the incompetent officials to give up power, which will impulse our society's move forward. One needs to look no further than the example of Independent War of America. Without skepticism of the authority of British Kingdom, the North America colonial would not have toppled down its rule, establishing an independent country and prosperous society of America would not have exited.这个例子有点离题

Secondly, following question to experts, principles behind the times will be discarded and new doctrines that can be helpful to the development of the society will be set up. 最好点到enhanced这个单词，题目的意识是加强了So as to substantiate this statement, I just take two academic fields for example. With reference to the study of mass communication, in first a few decades of the 20 century, under the shadow of most prevailing theory -- hypodermic-needle theory, proposed by Berlo, a famous expert in the study of mass communication, which focused on the publicizing effect of media and emphasized that media can influence audiences’ opinions whenever media disseminate information to them, Joseph Klapper, put forward a new idea that besides mass media other factors can be responsible for the change of people’s opinion and it is very necessary to pay attention to what people demand and do with the media. Due to the challenge of Klapper to authority, audience analysis rather than effect analysis attracted more and more scholars’ attention, and people can know how to use media efficiently to communicate with each other, which is redound to development of society. Similarly, attractable to limitation of knowledge and experimental conditions, many scientific theories established by our ancestors were incorrect, therefore it is wise for us to revise them and create new ones. Otherwise, the centre of the universe is still the earth, and who created the human being is still the God.最好再点题目，对社会繁荣的影响

However, not all of the challenge to authority can be of benefit to human beings and the prosperity of society. Some challenging such as questioning the abnormal lifestyle of a certain expert may be meaningless; some challenging may be harmful given 8 times coups in Philippines during just 17 years which wrecked the development of economy and the normal lives of people, putting society into a turbulent and confused situation. Therefore, only challenges that are consistent with interests of human beings can be encouraged.最好结尾再点well-being

To sum up, the well-being of a society can be enhanced by the suspicion to the authority when this suspicion is in accordance with the interests and willing of human beings.
总体来讲，语言不错，比我语法好，但是逻辑上需要好好加强:)

gra cie0213UID: 157500

首先感谢楼上的评改，
但是对于“其实well-being和welfare是同义词，但是和你的which impels the process of the society development into further step还是有点逻辑上的差距的”有一点疑惑，
按楼上所说，在题目所说的society暗含well-being，而众所周知development和progress是同义词，那么强调impels the process of the society development into further step是不是就在可以理解为enhance the well-being of the society
不知哪位指点一下？

六翼小宇UID: 162533

最初由 gra cie0213 发布
[B]首先感谢楼上的评改，
但是对于“其实well-being和welfare是同义词，但是和你的which impels the process of the society development into further step还是有点逻辑上的..

以下省略...... [/B]

这个转述我认为有点问题