issue同主题写作-第一类 8月8日-9日

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

8月8日和9日这两天请大家参加issue第一组的同主题写作。
1. 从issue范文与提纲目录帖第一组选取一道issue题
2. 在回帖中复制粘贴完整的题目和自己写的提纲 （请按照视频讲解的提纲写作方法写提纲）
3. 注明自己所选用的构建框架的方法
4. 选择一个楼层点评（原则上是自己楼上还没有人点评的楼层）


同主题写作的第一天，我看到20层楼的提纲，在附件里可以查看我的反馈意见。另外一个视频讲解我大概讲到14楼（视频明天早上可以在这个百度文件夹里下载- https://pan.baidu.com/s/1eSiryV4 由于今天用的是Camtasia，做的视频不到30分钟接近800M，现在正上传；下次还是用Panopto），就没有往下讲了，因为不少问题是共性的，没必要重复。针对20楼及以前的提纲，我总共有8条意见：

• When you talk about an example of a more general concept, you need to tell your reader about what you are doing- exemplifcation.  
• In your thesis statement and topic sentences, always address the key words in the issue statement.  
• In your outline, after writing your (complete) topic sentences, you should provide your examples and the reasoning (why the example can be used to support your point) in point form (please do not write complete sentences here)   
• Always summarize your main argument including the three points in your thesis statement.   
• In your introductory paragraph, paraphrase the issue statement and state clearly your position regarding the statement. Your position has to be clear and coherent, not self-contradictory.   
• Please avoid using fancy words you picked up in GRE verbal. Only use a word after you have seen the word used in authentic materials numerous times.
• Keep in mind the logical connection between different elements in the issue statement when developing your argument.
• Background information should be closely related to the issue statement.
  

建议大家结合这8点和我的视频讲解、笔记重新检查自己的提纲，相信你们会发现自己有或多或少存在这些问题。8月10日和11日我们继续写提纲，专注于第二类的issue。有同学希望写全文，我觉得现在很多同学的提纲还不够切题，不适合写全文。希望明天写提纲时这里总结的8个问题能有所减少。晚点我会推出一个写中间段全文的练习给希望写全文的同学。

GRE video lesson plans .pdf (382.59 KB, 下载次数: 180)

2017-8-9 23:40:50 上传

下载次数: 180

  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

【规则说明】

请参考同主题写作总帖2楼的规则

请务必看清楚后再答题

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

完整题目

1. The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第1种  添加原题中没有的新概念，具体来说，......

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：


主题句1
具体例子或细节

主题句2
具体例子或细节

主题句3
具体例子或细节


关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑



我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）



我来点评其他网友
楼层：

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？


2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？


3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

1, 26, 33<109>, 43, 64, 91, 132

1. As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

26. The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

issue 33/109

33) As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and mysterious.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

109)Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realised.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

43 The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

64 The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

91 The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

132  Some people believe that our ever-increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interaction. Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

综合的来看第一类8道issue题，在整个题库中所占分量虽然不算重，但涉及的问题却值得大家深思- 人类在科技不断发展的（后）现代社会如何处理与科技的关系。科技对于人类来讲如同一把双刃剑，其利弊之间的矛盾在这一类issue中以不同的角度和侧重点出现。如第1题关注的是人们在依赖科技解决问题时独立思考能力可能被削弱，与第132关注的科技对人际交往的负面影响异曲同工。第26题则关注人能否在享受科技带来的便利与奢侈品的同时保持身心的独立和强健。第33题和第109题关注人类通过科学与科技知识越来越多但面对世界却越来越困惑的悖论。第43题侧重讨论科技时代快节奏生活所解决的和带来的问题，与第91题所关注的科技发展最终的目的紧密相关。第64题涉及最近十分热门的人工智能与人脑智能的优劣。

对于这些与科技有关的题目，破题的关键就在于选取具体的科技来替代对科技这个抽象概念的讨论，使自己的文章内容具体而丰富。与此同时，科技对不同的人的影响也是不尽相同的，因此对人按照教育背景和职业进行分类也是构建全文框架的重要途径。

今天（8月9日）是17年暑期寄托GRE作文同主题写作的第一天，在Jackit及团队的号召下，我们已经建立四支同主题互改小组，这件事本身就可以用作132题的例子-强调科技帮助我们更好的交流；以及64的例子，微信的功能再强大也无法替代Jackit亲自招募队员。

希望上面的实例能让大家体会到生活中的例子无处不在，只等待有心人去发现。希望大家共同努力，一起体验GRE写作带来的思考的愉悦！

flhopeUID: 3823681

完整题目
26.The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  对key term进行分类，具体来说，......

我的提纲如下
开头段全文：
I agree that the luxuries and conveniences of current life sometimes keep students without strong self-control becoming truly strong and independent individuals. Yet, contemporary life can still pay groups of people a way to acquire great achievements independently by providing enough financial and technical support, such as students with great self-motivation, engineers and scientists.

TS1:
As a kind of technical progress, Internet make vast amount of educational information available for students actively seeking comprehensive knowledge of various disciplines.
example：seek for information, before library, lots of books, now Google, efficiently and conveniently.

TS2:
With the help of advanced technical tools, engineer may become more competent and independently by completing the task which cannot be completed before.
example：programmer, advanced programming language

TS3:
Supporting by sophisticated equipment and enough funding, scientists can do scientific experiments and seek truth deeper with less limits.
example：telescope, universe

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
本来想对于自制力强和自制力弱的学生做个对比论述，可是在这个结构里，不知道加在哪块合适。

TaylorWUID: 3668665

132.Some people believe that our ever-increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interaction. Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我的提纲采用第二种方法架构  by considering an issue from different perspectives or in different contexts
T：表明观点科技好—1科技这么好，2科技那么好，3别人说科技不好不对 其实它好

TS：As we stepped in the technology age, our communication methods had been greatly transformed, apart from letters and post offices, efficient social networks such as Facebook, skype and Gmail have been introduced into our life .Social media become indispensable. Thus, a heated debate arise: Does technology deprave our opportunities for interpersonal communication? Personally speaking, I believe the pros that technology provided us in communication outweigh its cons. My reasons and examples are given below.

Pt1：The new technology break the restraint of time and distance.正
-finding long lost friends on facebook
-chatting with friends through skype
-sending overseas emails for jobs

Pt2：Technology made it efficient in communication through innovative ways .正
-with devices like cellphones and ipads we can chat with others anywhere and get response at the first second 正
-old communicating way is closely linked to paper and post office 对比

Pt3: Technology never reduce opportunities for human interaction , rather , it conducive to the accumulation of communication 反
-we communicate with strangers on twitter through write comments on events
-new technology bring friends closer by allowing more frequent communicating with each other  

感想和困惑
题目是两个观点选一 所以选一个后按照习惯的方式正面说两段 在让步一段以否认另一观点 这个方式可能陈腐 事实应该有更好的结构和视角 期待学习交流


我来点评其他网友
楼层： 11

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
提纲构架是合理的 只是语言不够干脆有些模糊 作者的视角很清新 主观点是同意科技增加交流 第一段科技是高效的交流工具+email 第二段科技是形象的交流工具+skype 第三段一些科技导致我们交流减少+wechat
第三段与主观点相悖 私以为调整为一些科技（wechat）表面导致我们现实生活交流减少 实际上却增加了我们网络社交频率，可以每天打字聊天 更频繁 而不是以前一个月一年见一次面 而且有朋友圈功能使得我们更了解彼此近况

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子都非常直观贴切 另外第三段的wechat例子在行文时候最好以插入语简单解释 毕竟是中国人的软件 怕老外不懂……

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？  
本人不是语法大咖 只能提一点我觉得疑惑的地方 作者还需多方权衡
including informal communication like chatting among friends and families and formal communication like business negotiation
这个句子读起来有点拗口 小改了一下
including informal chatting with friends and families and formal communication like business negotiation
一家之言 还请老师作者同学们斟酌斧正

mzlgjgUID: 3804664

109)Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realised.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  对key term进行分类

开头段全文：
Science’s nature, as illustrated by two different groups of people, not only explains to the plebeian the universal facts, but opens up another door of an unexplored region for scientists. Every science progress in history for layman, like students and engineers is a magic revelation of universe’s underlying mechanism while for scientists, the uncertainty buried beneath is where the precious lies. These two aspects of science, like two sides of a coin, exist as an entity rather than antithesis.

TS1:
The majority of students who are learning the established order of science, if interested in it, probably focus more on what it has achieved, which offers them knowledge and shapes their view about this world. The math they learn at different stages, from primary school to university, marks different breakthrough in history. With it, they are able to see the complex economic phenomenon, for instance, more easily, and get better understanding of the world.

TS2:
Not only students, but also engineers around the world enjoy the profits of scientific discoveries. Based on what has been discovered, engineers apply it into actual life’s use. During Edison's process of testing possible materials for light bulb, he actually understood the temper and mechanism of electricity and light better, thus a serial inventions utilizing electricity could be possible later. Because engineers use and even recreate the scientific discoveries, their understanding of the world is undoubtedly enhanced.

TS3:
No matter how well students learn about the world, how wonderful the inventions of engineers are, or whatever of others, these are possible to achieve only after the contribution of scientists is made. From the concept “atom”brought up by the Ancient Greek, to the core model of Rutherford in the early 20th century, the process of inquiring micro structure of sunstance never ends and it will continue in the future. Science bespeaks the complexity of problems mostly to scientists because they always focus on what hasn’t been discovered and the unexplored is infinite.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
3个主要论点，其实我想把人群分为科学家和普通人两类，又在普通人中挑选了2类：学生和工程师（和楼上居然一样...）作为例子，而关于怎么写工程师从科学中更新了自己对世界的认识我还不太有把握；我看了Simon老师的范文，发现老师是对科学进行分类，分成了自然科学和社会科学，所以现在比较困惑我对人群分类的实际说明效果好不好...

我点评的其他同学：6楼
1）架构合理，但我觉得这个题目26并不适合只写现代生活的奢华与方便对人类有利的贡献，因为其对于很多人是有害的。我记得去年似乎有互改组的同学写过这个题，他把三类不同的人群都再次进行了分类，在每一个群体内部再讨论奢华与方便的利和弊，我觉得这样的论证更加全面，而且这样也解决了你的困惑。

2）举例我觉得也比较贴切，不过还有一个想法：就是这个题目关于奢华与方便，这两个词还是含义比较广泛，最好能先做一个定义，划定以下范围，这样有利于论述，尤其是对于学生群体。

3）开头段我觉得似乎有一句没看懂啊，sometimes keep students without strong self-control becoming truly strong and independent individuals.这一句作者是不是笔误了？

youzi42UID: 3806028

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种  将the ability of humans 具体分为三种：学习的热情、分析的能力、最后整合信息的能力

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
  As the rpid advancement in the technology , obviously , when encountering difficulties , people tend to acquire viable answers or instructions  with the aid of the technology . Convenient and power as the technology is , we can't deny the fact that the technogy indeed helps us in solve the problems . However , at the same time , we can't overlook the disadvantages caused by it -- we are no longer eager to learn by ourselves; our ability to analyzing and to think perspicaciously decreases ; and what' worse , we can't gather information together  as well as before .

主题句1
具体例子或细节
  Most of the amazing advancements , made by human, origins from a eager to learn , which usually occurs when we meet something difficulty. Given that we can get accurate information by the technology , most of us would more likely to accepting the given answer, instead of getting the eager to form the ideas on their own .
  

主题句2
具体例子或细节
  By let go the chance of independent thinking , we let go the chance to advance our ability to analyze and to think in different ways .

主题句3
具体例子或细节
  Without analyzing and thinking by ourselves , then we are less likely to put all our work together , which  is the crucial step in our whole thinking process . Little by little , we would lose the ability of making inregration .

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
   第一次写提纲，很久没有写过作文了，加上语法的知识忘光了， 感觉写的不是很好。 最开始想的三个方面是独立的，但是用英文思维来写，觉得三个方面有交叉点，不完全独立，不太具有说服力。科技方面的例子一时半会还真想不出来，只能先交个提纲。例子在通读其他帖子后再补上。


我写的全文 （建议在修改提纲后再写）

猜ccUID: 3828818

完整题目：109)Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understanding of the world around us. Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realised.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我写提纲时综合了三点，但主要是第三条：关键词分类。把科学分为社会科学，自然科学和总体的科学思维。其次，把针对的人群分为天才和普通人。本来是想写关键词，但是写着写着就变成这样了，请王老师和大家批评指正。

开头段全文：
Science was born in the Enlightenment movement in the eighteenth centuries with the belief that there are general laws in the nature and society and by proper and rational method we could discover them. We can’t estimate how much the world has been changed by it since then. We can tell from endless technological inventions that people seems to be unable to live without it. It’s already been a dominating way of thinking nowadays. And in my opinion, it can definitely foster a better understanding of the world for most ordinary people by disseminating its discoveries about patterns of the historical and social development; and also by applying its discoveries into reality. More importantly, science encourages people to think on themselves rather than depending on other authorities to get knowledge.

TS1：Firstly, the discoveries in social sciences can help people understand better how the society structures and operates. Karl Marx’s theory about class struggle has been a classical model in social sciences. It discusses how the dominant class rules and exploits other classes. Sigmund Freud found out the basic laws about how our childhood experience formulates our disposition in our adulthood. Pierre Bourdieu analyzes how the distinction forms between different groups of people.

TS2：While in natural sciences, those discoveries may seem rather abstruse for ordinary people. But the application of those discoveries will definitely facilitate our view about the world. For example, the printing has enlarges the bound of literacy to the bottom classes. The Internet provides an opportunity for those who can’t afford to go to school to teach themselves.

TS3：Besides these laws and technology developments, science also brings about a new way of thinking. Science broke the monopoly of knowledge by the church and freed every person from the rein of the religion and other superstition. It calls upon people to get knowledge by proficient proof and sound judgments. Scientists never proclaim that the discoveries they found are the truth. Rather, they assume that every theory is questionable and is thus open to criticisms.

因为题目要求对两个论点都要讨论，所以我在1+3后又加了一段，论述第二个论点的适用范围：
However, as for genius, who bears much more knowledge and have sharper sense than ordinary people, science may offer them a different scene. to take Einstein as an example, the further and deeper he went in the scientific field, the better he knew about the boundary of science. What he saw more was those problems science can’t explain and those infinite fields that goes beyond human knowledge.

感想和困惑：因为题目要求两个论点都要谈到，不知道现在这样是否合适。 以及发现第一段不太知道怎么写，感觉现在的有点啰嗦。另外，很多表达都是凭感觉写的，有些很中式英语。表达方式和词汇多样还有改进的空间。

我的点评：8楼
总体的框架很清晰，尤其第一段表达很地道，和我选的题目一样，但是开头段比我好太多，努力向你学习。下面是我的一些粗浅的建议：
1. 关于TS1和TS2，用学生和工程师来代表大众，或者说讲普通人分成学生和工程师，来与第三段科学家并列，是否合适？一方面，感觉学生和工程师只是大众中很小的一部分；另一方面，题主的本意是通过职业来划分，但是社会中大部分人都曾是学生，工程师也曾是学生。这样，第一和第二类就不互斥。
2. 关于issue第二个论点，Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realised，我的理解是和前面帮助大家更好地理解世界相反的，有点消极的意味，认为世界的复杂远远超乎我们的理解，但是你的主题句while for scientists, the uncertainty buried beneath is where the precious lies和 TP3Science bespeaks the complexity of problems mostly to scientists because they always focus on what hasn’t been discovered and the unexplored is infinite.似乎还是积极的意味多一些。不过也可能是我的理解偏差，这个可以再讨论。
3.总体感觉例证有点单薄。可能因为分类上太过具体，比较难找例子。

卿本悠悠UID: 3817355

1、Some people believe that our ever-increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interaction. Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another.（132）

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种，对其进行分类（classification）。具体来说，把technology分成3类：e-mail(support), skype(support) and wechat(or QQ)(oppose).

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
Human interaction, including informal communication like chatting among friends and families and formal communication like business negotiation, is widely and deeply influenced by technology. E-mail, Skype and Wechat, three typical examples of technology applications, have strikingly changed our interaction way.

主题句1
Differ from ancient traditional way to exchange messages by write and post letters, e-mail is apparently more convenient to expressing the same content in a shorter time.
具体例子或细节
Spending less time, taking less cost and the capability to communicate with several (or even more) people.
主题句2
The realization of real-time video communication provides another brand new way for human interaction, as it changed former sound or character chatting into a much more vivid and effective one.
具体例子或细节
Simulating a face-to-face environment to contain more detail and shorten the influence of distance.
主题句3
Although the application of e-mail and Skype help people to connect others more closely, there are some technology applications reducing the possibilities for human interaction. Wechat is a typical one of them.
具体例子或细节
Making people tends to chat less in real life as they more willing to choose communicate online. Making people’s relationship more fragile in real life.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
最开始是希望表达虽然科技改变人们的沟通交流，但关键还是取决于人们真正的关系，由于科技发展带来的关系疏远根本在于关系本身缺乏持续性（或许是由于生活轨迹的不同带来的差异导致缺乏共同语言）。但是似乎与题目本身规定的选择自己更倾向的一方相矛盾，有点离题。

点评9楼
对这个题目的思考时间没有自己选的时间长，很多地方可能说的比较粗浅甚至错误，还望见谅。
作者对题目采取全面支持的态度，对这个态度讨论的比较细致深入，但感觉有点单薄。如果能从正反两方面进行辩证叙述，能使得内容更加丰满。文章的重点在于独立思考的能力（the ability of humans to think for themselves），将其分成：学习的热情、分析的能力、最后整合信息的能力，感觉与题目的定义有些出入。（但是我也没想出更好的，所以觉得正反结合可能更有东西写）
作者的表达方式很多样，比我只会炒冷饭好很多，但是出现了不少非正式的口头表达方式，还有一些拼写错误，大概有：
1、开头段第一行的“rpid”，应该为“rapid”;
2、开头段第二行“the technology”的“the”不需要（全文如此）；
3、开头段第二行“power”应为“powerful”；
4、开头段第三行“technogy”拼写错误；
5、开头段第三行“helps us in solve the problems”，应为“helps us in solving the problems”或者“helps us solve the problems”（参看牛津字典help的用法）；
6、开头段第五行“our ability to analyzing and to think perspicaciously decreases”中ability与decrease不搭配，and连接的两部分形式不一致；
7、主题句2第一行的“let go”可以用更正式、书面化的表达代替；
8、主题句2第一行的“ability to analyze and to think”，后一个to不需要；
9、主题句3第一行的“then we are…”这个then不需要；
10、主题句3第二行的“inregration”应为“integration”。

猜ccUID: 3828818

猜cc 发表于 2017-8-8 21:57
完整题目：109)Some people believe that scientific discoveries have given us a much better understand ...

我的点评：8楼
总体的框架很清晰，尤其第一段表达很地道，和我选的题目一样，但是开头段比我好太多，努力向你学习。下面是我的一些粗浅的建议：
1. 关于TS1和TS2，用学生和工程师来代表大众，或者说讲普通人分成学生和工程师，来与第三段科学家并列，是否合适？一方面，感觉学生和工程师只是大众中很小的一部分；另一方面，题主的本意是通过职业来划分，但是社会中大部分人都曾是学生，工程师也曾是学生。这样，第一和第二类就不互斥。
2. 关于issue第二个论点，Others believe that science has revealed to us that the world is infinitely more complex than we ever realised，我的理解是和前面帮助大家更好地理解世界相反的，有点消极的意味，认为世界的复杂远远超乎我们的理解，但是你的主题句while for scientists, the uncertainty buried beneath is where the precious lies和 TP3Science bespeaks the complexity of problems mostly to scientists because they always focus on what hasn’t been discovered and the unexplored is infinite.似乎还是积极的意味多一些。不过也可能是我的理解偏差，这个可以再讨论。
3.总体感觉例证有点单薄。可能因为分类上太过具体，比较难找例子。


以及这个点评本来应该发在我的第一个帖子里，下次注意。

gre满分周UID: 3828848

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Framework 2, 不同的情景，有时候科技会让人们减少思考，但是总的来说还是帮助比较大，尤其在学生学习方面

提纲如下：
开头
    As technology has become an indispensably part of modern society, although sometime it indeed reduce the time we mediate, it is definitely helpful to people’s life most of time especially in students’ study which makes that more effective. There are three important implements, printer, smart phone and computer are crucial in study.
TS
①　Pinter is benefit for it saving the time ,that could be used to   
other more important things, for coping loads of information from the internet.
Eg. Materials from BBS; 30 pages; ↑time focus on subject

②　Students get the benefit from smart phone for it provide with  
so different kinds of learning apps, such as recorder, Baicizhan, and Kaomanfen, that the study efficiency of students is enhanced.
Eg.Whenever the students study english, the recorder will record their pronunciation so that they can correct afterwards
③　Computer, as one of the most important invent of the world, is
    good to study because it is more effective when the students
       are doing their homework.
       Eg. Use Word to type homework rather than hand writing;
           Search the document more easily;
疑问：对那种文章比较适合哪种框架还拿不准，不太熟，有很多操作上的疑问。
      但是目前我还没法很好的说出我的问题，我去多写几个提纲明确一下我的问题

好久没写作文了，第一次不咋地，下次会越来越好

sweepyouUID: 3559530

1. As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

处理简单问题用新科技，人类可以省出精力处理复杂问题；新科技带来新的领域、新的学科，所以反而是提出了更高的要求；科技本身都可能产生很多问题，诸如伦理或管理问题，人类更需要复杂的思考能力了。

用了第二种方法：analyze the issue with different perspectives.只是这种题目需要具体问题具体分析，不太能快速破题。

TS:
I largely disagree with the statement that the ability of problem solving will bound to deteriorate with more advanced technologies. With the help of new technology, we are greatly freed from the tedious and repetitive work, so we are enabled to deal with the creative and complicated parts of work. In such a process, we also have to update our methodologies and invent new disciplines, which obviously require more wisdom. Moreover, new technologies themselves may generate new problems, and thus we have to ponder over such problems.

Pt1: Since new technology can greatly free people from repetitive work and drudgery, people are able to focus on the more creative and complicated part of work in the process of problem-solving.
-With new education technology, teachers use AI to teach pupils about the basic conceptions and FAQ, while they can focus on other more advanced issues of the academic work.

Pt2: As we explore the space of science with the tools of new technologies, more inter-disciplines and frontier disciplines will be discovered, which also require a higher capability.
-As those inter-disciplines are discovered, we need to devise new methodology to deal with them. (e.g. In the past we uses only questionnaires to make a survey; while now we may use computer-aided method to make such survey more effectively and more efficiently.)

Pt3: Advanced technologies themselves may generate more questions or problems, which require people a higher capability of problem solving.
-The clone technology raises questions about to which extent we are allowed to use this technology ethically.
-We also need to solve problems about how to manage the new tools or products created by the new technology. (e.g. To which extent the government should censor tweets, or apps in App Store?)

注：短横杠表示段落中可能出现的分论点，e.g.就是涉及的例子。


点评13楼
这位战友和我选了同题，然后framework也是一样的。TS中指出了“主要是对学生学习有帮助”，可能是来自于自己的生活经验更多些，但个人认为辅助学习只是problem solving的一个领域，可以再拓展到其他方面。另外在TS中还做了让步指出“这确实会缩减我们思考的时间”，比较缜密。
Pt1指出了可以节省时间，和我的也是接近的，但没有进一步指出和思维是否会退化之间的逻辑关系，应进一步说明。
Pt2和Pt3分别列举了不同的新科技产物对学习的影响。首先，这些工具基本都属于IT类，可以举一些其他领域的，另外对学习或思考的影响方式也基本是同一类，即节省时间，提高效率。是不是应当从更多perspectives出发，来论证不同新科技产物对不同人群的不同影响方式？
供参考。

flhopeUID: 3823681

点评14楼

1.开头段，题目改写，将题目中的独立思考=解决问题，这个我觉得有点太突兀了。
可以讲问题的难度增加了，激发了人们的creative thinking,creative thinking肯定是属于独立思考的，然后从三个方面进行论述。
2.正文第一段，例子方面，AI帮助小孩学习基本概念，这里AI指人工智能吗？我觉得AI可以指代地更详细点，另外这个例子是关于学习的，和第二个ts是否有重合，我觉得可以举一些自动化技术将流水线工人解脱出来，工程师专注于更复杂的工作
3.正文第二段：例子：计算机辅助代替调查问卷，这个没有体现解决跨学科问题
4.正文第三段：ts句可以直接点名“导致了一些道德上有争议的的问题”more question有点笼统