Issue36: 人的成就由后世还是当今决定？等待批改！！

CHERRYlbyUID: 170649

Issue36: 461 words  40 minutes
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Who can judge the greatest of individuals? Later generations or contemporary people? The author asserts that only people living after them rather than their contemporaries can decide the greatest of individuals. I definitely agree with his point of view.

The greatest of individuals lies in their unique thoughts and contributions which seem not to be easily accepted by contemporary trends of thinking. Vincent. Van. Gogh, the greatest Holland painter, who was the father of the Impressionism in painting, was totally unacceptable and unappreciated by his contemporaries during his whole life. He led a poor and miserable life as an unpopular painter and mental-disturbed man who finally commit suicide. His contributions and genius were discovered more than one hundred years later and regarded as the most outstanding and glorious artists of his time. Therefore , we could find some real gifted and talented thoughts which surpassed all the contemporary acceptation could only be decided by future generations.

Also, individuals’ contributions sometimes need time to justify. Even the individual could not make sure what he/she achieved was correct, let alone being accepted. For example, in scientific fields, the discovery of some certain theories may be achieved through thousands of experiments and the correct one was among one of them accidentally. Even the scientist was not sure. After the evaluation of time, his contribution was finally proved by some future generation.

Moreover, due to the limitation of media and news report, the great deeds of an individual may not be popular and known by most people. For example, it is recently reported that during the World War Two, there was not only one Oscar Schindler who saved Jewish lives, but a Chinese diplomatic person also did. He successfully saved thousands of Jewish people's lives by sending them visas abroad. It was impossible to be publishing by any press at that time. Even after his death, no more people knew this besides the people he saved. Recently, it was discovered by chance. So sometimes only the later generations could get enough information and judge a person's greatness.

However, people's contributions are explored by society through some certain prize such as Nobel. Through the evaluation of such award, a person's contribution to society is discovered and praised by his/her contemporaries. Such as Mother Teresa, who contributed greatly to the medication and nursing of the undeveloped country, was awarded the Nobel Prize of Peace by people who live in the same time with her.

To sum up, when a society judge the greatness of individuals, some certain limitations of the society, such as people's conventional thoughts and circumstances of time have to be taken account. Mostly, only the future generation could decide the contribution of individuals better with more reliance and less restraint.

dezhiUID: 156141

先看了一部分
Issue36: 461 words 40 minutes
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Who can judge the greatest of individuals? Later generations or contemporary people? The author asserts that only people living after them rather than their contemporaries can decide the greatest of individuals. I definitely agree with his ->this point of view. 开头不错,简洁明了

The greatest of individuals lies in their unique thoughts and contributions which seem not to be easily accepted by contemporary trends of thinking. Vincent. Van. Gogh, the greatest Holland painter 是不是有点绝对?用one of the greatest Holland painters还可以增加字数,哈哈, who was the father of the Impressionism in painting, was totally unacceptable and unappreciated by his contemporaries during his whole life 这个句字写得精彩. He led a poor and miserable life as an unpopular painter and mental-disturbed man who finally commit suicide. His contributions and genius were discovered more than one hundred years later and he was注意主语一致 regarded as the most outstanding and glorious artists of his time. Therefore, we could find some real gifted and talented thoughts which surpassed all the contemporary acceptation could only be decided by future generations.

Alsoalso可以放句首吗?我以为不行呢.可以试试In addition, furthermore等, individuals’ contributions sometimes need time to justify. Even the individual could not make sure what he/she had achieved was correct, let alone being accepted. For example, in scientific fields, the discovery of some certain theories may be achieved 换个词吧, accomplish? through thousands of experiments and the correct one was among one of 去掉one of,否则逻辑不通 them accidentally. Even the scientist was not sure. After the evaluation of time, his contribution was finally proved by some future generation. 这个例子不太合适.即使做了这么多实验,其中有正确的,也不能认为这是成就啊,因为科学家本身没有鉴别能力;可以举这样的例子,比如某科学家,创造了某种理论,可没有被同时代科学家承认,甚至连他本人也不知道他的成就是多么伟大,直到他死后很多年,才……

CHERRYlbyUID: 170649

谢谢！
是不是有点绝对?用one of the greatest Holland painters还可以增加字数,哈哈
同意！
当时也是情绪光激动了，所以忘了客观．：）
这个例子不太合适.即使做了这么多实验,其中有正确的,也不能认为这是成就啊,因为科学家本身没有鉴别能力;可以举这样的例子,比如某科学家,创造了某种理论,可没有被同时代科学家承认,甚至连他本人也不知道他的成就是多么伟大,直到他死后很多年,才……

你把我想写的给明确了，呵呵．我当时怎么就一直围着这绕就怎么也不能切入正点呢．唉．
这个例子得再想想．你知道有哪个科学家是这样的吗？
我绞尽脑汁也只能用some scientists了．
：）

dezhiUID: 156141

哈,我也没想到一个比较合适的人呢
再想想吧

cssUID: 173612

Issue36: 461 words 40 minutes
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Who can judge the greatest of individuals? Later generations or contemporary people? The author asserts that only people living after them rather than their contemporaries can decide the greatest of individuals. I definitely agree with his point of view.[ 完全赞成的观点，后面的HOWEVER不知可否用来做段首开头]

The greatest of individuals lies in their unique thoughts and contributions which seem not to be easily accepted by contemporary trends of thinking.[论点很明确] Vincent. Van. Gogh, the greatest Holland painter, who was the father of the Impressionism in painting, was totally unacceptable and unappreciated by his contemporaries during his whole life. He led a poor and miserable life as an unpopular painter and mental-disturbed man who finally commit suicide. His contributions and genius were discovered more than one hundred years later and regarded as the most outstanding and glorious artists of his time.[这句才最重要，上两句简写以下，再论证为什么，围绕论点进行] Therefore , we could find some real gifted and talented thoughts which surpassed all the contemporary acceptation could only be decided by future generations.

Also, individuals’ contributions sometimes need time to justify [ be justified,很容易混的句子]. Even the individual could not [may好点儿] make sure what he/she achieved was correct, let alone being accepted. For example, in scientific fields, the discovery of some certain theories may be achieved through thousands of experiments and the correct one was among one of them accidentally. Even the scientist was not sure. After the evaluation of time, his [谁呀？或者his/her] contribution was finally proved by some future generation.[没具体例子阿，尤其是科学上，有的当代被接受，有的以后被接受，举个例子才能说服别人]

Moreover, due to the limitation of media and news report,[新颖的角度] the great deeds of an individual may not be popular and known by most people. For example, it is recently reported that during the World War Two, there was not only one Oscar Schindler who saved Jewish lives, but a Chinese diplomatic person also did. He successfully saved thousands of Jewish people's lives by sending them visas abroad. It was impossible to be publishing [ published！]  by any press at that time. Even after his death, no more people knew this besides the people he saved. Recently, it was discovered by chance. So sometimes only the later generations could get enough information and judge a person's greatness.

However[TS应该有小让步], people's contributions are explored by society through some certain prize such as Nobel. Through the evaluation of such award, a person's contribution to society is discovered and praised by his/her contemporaries. Such as Mother Teresa, who contributed greatly to the medication and nursing of the undeveloped country, was awarded the Nobel Prize of Peace by people who live in the same time with her.

To sum up, when a society judge the greatness of individuals, some certain limitations of the society, such as people's conventional thoughts and circumstances of time have to be taken account. Mostly, only the future generation could decide the contribution of individuals better with more reliance and less restraint.[结尾升华了，比文章深刻，为什么不再文章中阐发以下呢]

dezhiUID: 156141

Moreover, due to the limitation of media and news report, the great deeds of an individual may not be popular and known by most people. For example, it is recently reported that during the World War Two, there was not only one Oscar Schindler who saved Jewish lives, but a Chinese diplomatic person also did. He successfully saved thousands of Jewish people's lives by sending them visas abroad. It was impossible to be publishing 为何不用被动呢? by any press at that time. Even after his death, no more people knew this besides the people he saved. Recently, it was discovered by chance. So sometimes only the later generations could get enough information and judge a person's greatness.

However, people's contributions are explored by society through some certain 有些重复 prize such as Nobel 这里such as用得好像有点问题. Through the evaluation of such an award, a person's contribution to society is discovered and praised by his/her contemporaries. Such as Mother Teresa, who contributed greatly to the medication and nursing of the undeveloped country 为何不用复数?文中其他几处也应该用复数的, was awarded the Nobel Prize of Peace by people who live in the same time with her 这句话不对吧,是诺贝尔和平奖颁布之后人们才知道,而不是同时代的人们给她颁奖.颁奖是专家们的事吧.

To sum up, when a society judge the greatness of individuals, some certain limitations of the society, such as people's conventional thoughts and circumstances of time have to be taken account of勿漏. Mostly, only the future generation could decide the contribution of individuals better with more reliance and less restraint.

buggodUID: 164979

非常好啊,那个例子可以用Mendel用豌豆作实验的那个,
你的jewish people的例子state的很不错,我也用过,但没说清楚,学习一下

dezhiUID: 156141

语言表达很好,很多句子写得很流畅
语法上基本挑不出什么毛病来
例子举得不错,而且描述生动,以后要继续发扬啊

不过,题目说的是The greatness of individuals应该由谁来decide/judge,而你body3,body4则从客观角度切入,感觉没有扣题
另外,很多名词我觉得用复数更好,你都用了单数,不过,这只是个小问题

总之,楼主已经写得很好了.继续努力!

CHERRYlbyUID: 170649

感谢大家了！！
关于那个例子，我后来找了找eveningboat 的例子．
有一天巴斯德向法国医学会宣布开刀的伤口暴露在千万细菌下，这些细菌存在任何地方，所以手术前要进行严格的消毒，这在今天是common 的不能再common的idea了，可是当时居然被一群外科医生嘲笑，一些人笑的肚子都疼了，说巴斯德是“小丑，马戏团演员，骗子 ” ,巴斯德听后并不生气，说出一句GRE牛言“一个科学家应该想到的，不是当时人们对他的表扬或者辱骂，而是未来若干世纪中人们怎么评价他。
可不可用到这里？
To css:
.[ 完全赞成的观点，后面的HOWEVER不知可否用来做段首开头]
这里我也真的不知道，请求高人指点．想了半天也不知道怎么改．如果用despite代替ＨＯＷＥＶＥＲ语气上会不会好些？
：）
To:buggod

个例子可以用Mendel用豌豆作实验的那个,

能不能具体说说怎么回事？我科学家方面比较白痴．
To:dezhi:
多谢你详细的批改！！
这里such as用得好像有点问题.
改成like Nobel prize 行吗？

这句话不对吧,是诺贝尔和平奖颁布之后人们才知道,而不是同时代的人们给她颁奖.颁奖是专家们的事吧.
看来有例子不等于就能论好．不过我查了一下她的生平，好象她得奖是在２０世纪７０年代，去世是９７年．所以应该能算是被同时代人认可的吧．至少这个例子可以用，不过我要好好再整理一下语言．
题目说的是The greatness of individuals应该由谁来decide/judge,而你body3,body4则从客观角度切入,感觉没有扣题
我也到Ｂ２和Ｂ３的时候也有同感，但是已经来不及修改了．谢谢指出！

再次谢谢大家的鼓励！！一起进步！

lakeqianUID: 157560

The greatest of individuals lies in their unique thoughts and contributions which seem not to be easily accepted by contemporary trends of thinking.
觉得这个观点不很好。伟大是多方面的，不仅仅是unique thoughts 吧

bluelegend66UID: 161638

Issue36: 461 words 40 minutes
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Who can judge the greatest of individuals? Later generations or contemporary people? The author asserts that only people living after them rather than their contemporaries can decide the greatest of individuals. I definitely agree with his point of view.

The greatest of individuals lies in their unique thoughts and contributions which seem not to be easily accepted by contemporary trends of thinking. Vincent. Van. Gogh, the greatest Hollanddutch painter, who was the father of the Impressionism in painting, was totally unacceptable and unappreciated by his contemporaries during his whole life. He led a poor and miserable life as an unpopular painter and mental-disturbed man who finally commit suicide. His contributions and genius were discovered more than one hundred years later and regarded as the most outstanding and glorious artists of his time. Therefore , we could find some real gifted and talented thoughts which surpassed allnever be so absolute the contemporary acceptation could only be decided by future generations.这句没有加深你的TS ~，这样：because the real gifted and talented thoughts are so far-reaching ,the vaule of some materpiece will not emerge and be accepted until the mass later reach their forefathers sanding point.

Also, individuals’ contributions sometimes need time to justify. Even the individual could not make sure what he/she achieved was correct, let alone being accepted. For example, in scientific fields, the discovery of some certain theories may be achieved through thousands of experiments and the correct one was among one of them accidentally. Even the scientist was not sure. After the evaluation of time, his contribution was finally proved by some future generation. 例子没哈？？换哥伦布把

Moreover, due to the limitation of media and news report, the great deeds of an individual may not be popular and known by most people. For example, it is recently reported that during the World War Two, there was not only one Oscar Schindler who saved Jewish lives, but a Chinese diplomatic person also did. He successfully saved thousands of Jewish people's lives by sending them visas abroad. It was impossible to be publishing by any press at that time. Even after his death, no more people knew this besides the people he saved. Recently, it was discovered by chance.这句化要不得~~不然BY CHANCE 的话就是说后人也只是偶然才发现的 So sometimes only the later generations could get enough information and judge a person's greatness.


However, SOMETIMESpeople's contributions are explored by society through some certain prize such as Nobel. Through the evaluation of such award, a person's contribution to society is discovered and praised by his/her contemporaries. Such as Mother Teresa, who contributed greatly to the medication and nursing of the undeveloped country, was awarded the Nobel Prize of Peace by people who live in the same time with her.

To sum up, when a society judge the greatness of individuals, some certain limitations of the society, such as people's conventional thoughts and circumstances of time have to be takeninto account. Mostly, only the future generation could decide the contribution of individuals better with more reliance and less restraint.


语言没问题~~注意一下程度副词的运用~~你比较片绝对话语气

例子多丰富~~论证可以增加

buggodUID: 164979

mendel是一个神父,第一个用统计学的方法研究出基因配对的规律的科学家.可是当时没有人承认.
即使当时的达尔文都没有给予足够的重视,
直至mendel逝世后几十年才有其他科学家证明他的正确性,并有人断言对于生物这种进步极快的学科,如果当时能够被接受,那么现在的生物学一定会有翻天复地的变化

CHERRYlbyUID: 170649

:)这么多人来讨论,好棒!!
To lakeqian:

觉得这个观点不很好。伟大是多方面的，不仅仅是unique thoughts 吧

恩,好象有理．不过我是结合后面的例子啊，呵呵．怎么想也不知道怎么改了．
To:bluelegend66:

这句没有加深你的TS

我觉得你的用词有的有些奇怪哦．比如mass later reach their forefathers sanding point.不过意思我领会了．：）

Recently, it was discovered by chance.这句化要不得~~不然BY CHANCE 的话就是说后人也只是偶然才发现的
能不能再具体说说？

比较片绝对话语气
对，我注意！
To:buggod:
谢谢例子！:)

CHERRYlbyUID: 170649

顶一下．
：）