issue130 九月高频，帮忙看一下，必回改

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130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

1.儿童的社会化很关键，无论对孩子还是社会都有很重要的意义
2.但社会化只是我们培养孩子的一个方面，对孩子道德的培养，智力的培养，情感的培养同样对这回的未来很关键。它们共同决定了社会的命运
3.我们在培养孩子的过程中没有完全把握住这些关键的因素




Every society considers children as the hope in the future, and thus place much emphasis on the cultivation of children in order to ensure the well-being of society in the future. Undeniably, how children are cultivated today determines the destiny of society. Socialization, of course, is a key factor in the process of children's growth. However, we should not neglect other also essential factors, including the development of intellect, morality, and emotion, which, together with socialization, we have not learned a real effective way to optimize.

Socialization, a process by which children learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment, is crucial for not only children themselves but society as a whole.  The growth of children is a process in which children gradually become independent, step out of the asylum of their parents and enter the real world at last. In order to prepare for their future life in society, in the childhood, children should learn how to communicate with their peers and how to get along with others. In this course, parents act as an instructor and guider, infusing children with the notion as for what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. School provides children an environment to practice their ideas formed at home. When they are playing with their peers, children learn that bullying others will be alienated，being honest will get more friends, and so forth. All of these ensure them better accepted by society; otherwise, they will be puzzled and frustrated by the world totally different from their home. Moreover, by teaching children how to adjust them to society, socialization can ensure the stability of society and the compatibility of its members, in turn, guarantying the well-being of society.

However, we should not neglect the importance of other factors. The development of children's intellect, morality and emotion also contributes significantly to bring about a better society. Our society will be more advanced and complicated in technology and economy, which need our children equipped with full capacity to handle. Without well-developed intellect, children, the main force in the future, will be unable to further the advancement of technology and economy; without high-standard morality, the world will be led into disorder, and even disaster; without emotion to express their feelings and appreciate beauty, humans will lose their sensation and become nonchalant and dull to painting, music, or sculpture, which are humans' precious inherit and fortune. Therefore, the cultivation of intellect, morality, and emotion, together with socialization, undoubtedly determines the destiny of society.

However, although we notice the significance of these factors, we have not learned how to impel our education system toward these goals in the effective way. Due to utilitarianism, people are favor of those practical goals, thus placing far less enough emphasis on the cultivation of the real goals. Parents are more concerned with the grades of the children and teach them more about how to get first in class and teacher's approval, rather than how to get along with classmate and how to be an outgoing person. Children study hard only aiming to enter a good university. They rote the text over and over again but the real intellect has no significant improvement. Too much emphasis is placed on developing the "artistic talent". Children are forced to study various music instruments but the real sense to appreciate beauty is totally ignored. In a word, we are indeed trying to cultivate our children to be the best, but, as a matter of fact, we are striving in the wrong direction.

In sum, the development of intellect, morality, and motion, as well as socialization of children, is essential for the destiny of society. For the sake of a better society in the future, we should try our best to seek ways to optimize these factors, abandoning wrong ideas we have been sticking to.

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up on myself

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两次用however不太好吧,换一个词吧还有
However, we should not neglect the importance of other factors. (是不是加个consider,for example)The development of ch.....