Issue54--期待拍砖，也希望能回报大家

RikkuUID: 170558

Issue54  第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
1。不同意
2。从正面的历史说历史对我们的重大决定有用
3。从反面的历史说历史对我们的重大决定有用
4。让步，说明不能过分依赖历史的知道作用
5。结尾总结
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：61分50秒     604 words
从2004年9月25日21时40分到2004年9月25日22时61分
------题目------
History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.

------正文------
The speaker asserts that history has nothing to do with people' important decisions. But the fact is history plays a considerable part in indicating both the whole society and our daily life as an accumulation of our ancestors' experiences, because of which I cannot agree with the speaker.

To begin with, we can benefit from experiences of great figures and their accomplishment. Since many of our important decisions can be analogue with behaviors of great figures, through which can we easier to decide what should or not do. For instance, Maozedong, as a great leader of revolution in china, often faced a series of problem in the period of resisting the Janpigs, most of which had been solved perfectly with the help of two historic books written several hundred years ago - -"The Art of War by Sunzi" and  "The Three Kingdoms" - -which contains many excellent tactics and examples. For many times, Mao faced crucial choices which decide the success or failture of a campaign, even the whole revolution. Having assimilated the essence of the tow historic books, Mao was clearer than others that what should do and what should not do and every time he could make a correct decision. It was a series of Mao's important decision that the revolution in china was successful at last. Not only wars, but history also influences other field of the society such as education, business, politics and so on in the same way. History with an enormous variety of experience in it has an effective function of indication for us to make important decisions.

In addition, we also can prevent ourselves from making wrong decisions through the history. Those which have negative influence or common misconception can also be precious treasures as adverse examples. Take a ancient civil country named Atlantis, for example, Because the deforestation, pollution and many other behaviors that undermined the environment, all of these resulted in the imbalance of ecosystem and several natural disasters such as desertation, hurricane, flood and so on. Then the palmy ancient country disappeared at last. This shows how important the environment is and we should prevent it from pollution, or the victims may be human beings. This is conductive for us to do great decisions about environment. Another example is Cultural Revolution happened in china. Instead of developing economy and science, the whole country boggled down in a crazy and absurd condition in which all educational institution including elementary school, high school and college were closed. All students must go to countries to labor with farmers at least two years. All of these had hampered the development of china for ten years. Realized the extreme mistake and revised it, the government of People's Republic China had leaded the whole country to development in a high speed in the past twenty years. Though the history of those years leaded to a disaster, it can prevent us from making such a mistake. That is what the value of Cultural Revolution.

Admittedly, studying history has many advantages, however, it has its own limit. With the development of society and science, it is possible for us to have no idea what to decide when a problem such as the population, moral of science and so on has no precedent. All of these call for a creative approach to solve. If we depend on history excessly, our society can advance little. Through studying history, we should be more inspired than rote it.

In conclusion, history provide us with diverse experience which is the basis of our perspective and the ability to decide what to do. Yet it is not omnipotent. More and more problems that we will face requires the innovative intellect foe us to decide how to do.


大家拍死我把，我也一定回报大家

上帝保佑UID: 168333

不错啊，再找一些好点的例子吧。。。这两个都说中国的，是不是片面了点

RikkuUID: 170558

谢谢楼上啊，我现在就是觉得例子太难想了

楼上可有什么比较好的例子，让我开阔一下思路

非常感谢

poohUID: 146994

History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.

------正文------
The speaker asserts that history has nothing to do with people' important decisions. But the fact is history plays a considerable part in indicating both the whole society and our daily life asthat不可以省略 an accumulation of our ancestors' experiences, because of which I cannot agree with the speaker. but the fact所引出的内容跟make decision是什么关系，为什么跟sociiety和life有关，你就反对作者的观点？你的表达不到位！你以为你想说什么读者就会跟你想的是一样的吗，如果你不明确指出这两者间的关系，你的思维出现跳跃，就无法使人信服，逻辑不严密

To begin with, we can benefit from experiences of great figures and their accomplishment. 这里不要用句号，要用逗号，因为since之后的原因是个重点，是你得出前句的依据Since many of our important decisions can be analogue with behaviors of great figures, through which can we easier 要用正常语序to decide what should or not dodecide后面的宾语从句不完整！. For instance, Maozedong, as a great leader of revolution in china, often faced a series of problem in the period of resisting the Janpigs, most of which had been solved perfectly with the help of two historic books written several hundred years ago - -"The Art of War by Sunzi" and "The Three Kingdoms" - -which contains many excellent tactics and examples. For many times, Mao faced crucial choices which decide the success or failture of a campaign, even the whole revolution. Having assimilated the essence of the tow historic books, Mao was clearer than others that what should do and what should not do and every time he could make a correct decision. It was a series of Mao's important decision that the revolution in china was successful at last. 这句强调的重点不应该在毛泽东的important decision 而应该是history怎样帮助他做了正确的决定 Not only wars, but history also influences other field of the society such as education, business, politics and so on in the same way. History with an enormous variety enormous variety重复了 of experience in it has an effective function of indication for us to make important decisions.感觉你的表达不是很地道，比如这个function of indication你是想表达启示的作用吧，但是indication不合适，建议改history is enlightening for us to…
定于从句用得太多，尤其是非限定性定于从句太多，使表达不流畅

In addition, we also can prevent ourselves from making wrong decisions through the history.through the history这样的表达太不到位，中文可以这么说“通过历史，我们…”,但是这里准确的表达是through learning from history/ historic people and events. Those which have negative influence or common misconception can also be precious treasures as adverse examples. Take a ancient civil country named Atlantis, for example, Because the deforestation, pollution and many other behaviors that undermined the environment, all of these resulted in the imbalance of ecosystem and several natural disasters such as desertation, hurricane, flood and so on. Then the palmy ancient country disappeared at last. This shows how important the environment is and we should prevent it from pollution, or the victims may be human beings. This is conductive for us to do great decisions about environment.这个例子很好 Another example is Cultural Revolution happened in china. Instead of developing economy and science, the whole country boggled down in a crazy and absurd condition in which all educational institution including elementary school, high school and college were closed. All students must go to countries to labor with farmers at least two years. All of these had hampered the development of china for ten years. Realized the extreme mistake and revised it, the government of People's Republic China had leaded the whole country to development in a high speed in the past twenty years. Though the history of those years leaded to a disaster, it can prevent us from making such a mistake. That is what the value of Cultural Revolution.

Admittedly, studying history has many advantages, however, it has its own limit. admittedly已经是转折了，后面直接跟it has its own limit就可以了，或者直接用however引出，你这里admittedly和however的用法是不对的 With the development of society and science, it is possible for us to have no idea what to decide 什么叫what to decide! 不是不知道去决定什么，而是不知道作出怎样的决定，你自己看看自己的表达有没有问题？！ when a problem such as the population, moral of science and so on has no precedent. All of these call for a creative approach to solve. If we depend on history excessly, our society can advance little. Through studying history, we should be more inspired than rote it. 这几句论证还比较精彩

In conclusion, history provide us with diverse experience which is the basis of our perspective and the ability to decide what to do. Yet it is not omnipotent. More and more problems that we will face requires the innovative intellect foe us to decide how to do.

你的思路还是比较清晰的，例子也不错，就是语言上还需要多努力！

RikkuUID: 170558

楼上的同学，你太好了

这篇我再改一下

你有作文需要改的吗

谢谢

abjureUID: 169591

我下载了，明天回你。建议楼主可以讨论一下“海佑”帮你改动地方。讨论才有进步

RikkuUID: 170558

明天一定把改过的作文交上来

感谢帮我看作文的所有同学

gototeresaUID: 174496

嗯，正在看你写的这篇。。。我也刚写了一篇这个，等下传上来。
呵呵，对了，你也是成都的吗？我也是哦。。。

linakUID: 155465

最初由 Rikku 发布
[B]楼上的同学，你太好了

这篇我再改一下

你有作文需要改的吗

谢谢 [/B]

她已经考过了呢

多帮其他同学改改吧呵呵

gototeresaUID: 174496

The speaker asserts that history has nothing to do with people' important decisions. But the fact is history plays a considerable part in indicating both the whole society and our daily life as an accumulation of our ancestors' experiences, because of which I cannot agree with the speaker.

To begin with, we can benefit from experiences of great figures and their accomplishment. Since many of our important decisions can be analogue (analogous) with behaviors of great figures, through which can we easier to decide (we can decide easily) what should or not do. For instance, Maozedong, as a great leader of revolution in china, often faced a series of problem in the period of resisting the Janpigs, most of which had been solved perfectly with the help of two historic books written several hundred years ago - -"The Art of War by Sunzi" and "The Three Kingdoms" - -which contains many excellent tactics and examples. For many times, Mao faced crucial choices which decide the success or failure of a campaign, even the whole revolution. Having assimilated the essence of the tow historic books, Mao was (became/grew) clearer than others that what should do and what should not do and every time he could make a correct decision. It was a series of Mao's important decision that the revolution in china was successful at last. Not only on wars, but history also influences other field of the society such as education, business, politics and so on in the same way. History with an enormous variety of experience in it has an effective function of indication for us to make important decisions. 毛的例子太长了吧？

In addition, we also can prevent ourselves from making wrong decisions through learning the history. Those which have negative influence or common misconception can (also) be as precious treasures as adverse examples. Take an ancient civil country named Atlantis, for example, Because the deforestation, pollution and many other behaviors that undermined the environment, all of these resulted in the imbalance of ecosystem and several natural disasters such as desertation, hurricane, flood and so on. Then the palmy ancient country disappeared at last. This shows how important the environment is and we should prevent it from pollution, or the victims may be human beings. This is conductive for us to do great decisions about environment. Another example is Cultural Revolution happened in china. Instead of developing economy and science, the whole country boggled down in a crazy and absurd condition in which all educational institution including elementary school, high school and college were closed. All students must go to countries to labor with farmers for at least two years. All of these had hampered the development of china for ten years. Realized the extreme mistake and revised it, the government of People's Republic China had leaded the whole country to develop(ment) in a high speed in the past (last) twenty years. Though the history of those years leaded to a disaster, it can prevent us from making such a mistake. That is what the value of Cultural Revolution. 我觉得文化大革命的例子不大说明问题呢？而且好长哦。。。还有，是不是应该少用十分口语化的词呢？比如，crazy. 建议买一本同义词典，尽量多换词。

Admittedly, （好像不通，这次不对） studying history has many advantages, however, it has its own limit. With the development of society and science, it is possible for us to have no idea what to decide when a problem such as the population, moral of science and so on has no precedent. All of these call for a creative approach to solve. If we depend (rely 是不是好一点呢？)on history excessively, our society can advance little. Through studying history, we should be more inspired than rote it. (rote 是名词，想表达的意思是好的，查查字典换一个吧)

In conclusion, history provide us with diverse experience which is the basis of our perspective and the ability to decide what to do. Yet it is not omnipotent. More and more problems that we will face requires the innovative intellect foe us to decide how to do.

思路挺好的。。。注意用词哦。。。不错不错。 加油
研究得半天也不知道怎么highlight the changes...将就着看啊，不好意思

abjureUID: 169591

Issue54 第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
1。不同意
2。从正面的历史说历史对我们的重大决定有用
3。从反面的历史说历史对我们的重大决定有用
4。让步，说明不能过分依赖历史的知道作用
5。结尾总结
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：61分50秒 604 words
从2004年9月25日21时40分到2004年9月25日22时61分
------题目------
History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.

------正文------
The speaker asserts that history has nothing to do with people' important decisions. But the fact is history plays a considerable part in indicating both the whole society and our daily life as an accumulation of our ancestors' experiences, because of which I cannot agree with the speaker.（这句话我同意pooh的改法，主要是楼主忽略了这个make important decisions today.）

To begin with, we can benefit from experiences of great figures and their accomplishment. Since many of our important decisions can be analogue with behaviors of great figures, through which can we easier to decide what should or not do. For instance, Maozedong, as a great leader of revolution in china, often faced a series of problem in the period of resisting the Janpigs, most of which had been solved perfectly with the help of two historic books written several hundred years ago - -"The Art of War by Sunzi" and "The Three Kingdoms" - -which contains many excellent tactics and examples. For many times, Mao faced crucial choices which decide the success or failture of a campaign, even the whole revolution. Having assimilated the essence of the tow historic books, Mao was clearer than others that what should do and what should not do and every time he could make a correct decision. It was a series of Mao's important decision that the revolution in china was successful at last. Not only wars, but history also influences other field of the society such as education, business, politics and so on in the same way. History with an enormous variety of experience in it has an effective function of indication for us to make important decisions.

In addition, we also can prevent ourselves from making wrong decisions through the history. Those which have negative influence or common misconception can also be precious treasures as adverse examples. Take a ancient civil country named Atlantis, for example, Because the deforestation, pollution and many other behaviors that undermined the environment, all of these resulted in the imbalance of ecosystem and several natural disasters such as desertation, hurricane, flood and so on. Then the palmy ancient country disappeared at last. This shows how important the environment is and we should prevent it from pollution, or the victims may be human beings. This is conductive for us to do great decisions about environment. Another example is Cultural Revolution happened in china. Instead of developing economy and science, the whole country boggled down in a crazy and absurd condition in which all educational institution including elementary school, high school and college were closed. All students must go to countries to labor with farmers at least two years. All of these had hampered the development of china for ten years. Realized the extreme mistake and revised it, the government of People's Republic China had leaded the whole country to development in a high speed in the past twenty years. Though the history of those years leaded to a disaster, it can prevent us from making such a mistake. That is what the value of Cultural Revolution. 出现了好多all和all OF THESE,看看能不能找词替换一下

Admittedly, studying history has many advantages, however, it has its own limit. With the development of society and science, it is possible for us to have no idea what to decide when a problem such as the population, moral of science and so on has no precedent. All of these call for a creative approach to solve. If we depend on history excessly, our society can advance little (加上一句or even back up)还有这里是不是显得淡薄一些(). Through studying history, we should be more inspired than rote it.（楼主可以说过多的历史研究可能会导致对当代社会的特性的忽略，然后结合你的那些新人口政策，社会的价值观的变迁，可以采用一个历史和现代的对比，就可以有力支持你的观点。例如过去人口少，鼓励生育，现在人口多，希望节育。我们还要重视地区的差异，一些地区较多借鉴历史研究，有些地区不可以）

In conclusion, history provide us with diverse experience which is the basis of our perspective and the ability to decide what to do. Yet it is not omnipotent. More and more problems that we will face requires the innovative intellect foe us to decide how to do.
你的语法我没有细看。文章读了两遍。
整篇文章写的都挺连贯的。Body3加强下。还有一点你的提纲，写的和你的topic sentence 不一样，也写的太抽象了，不好把握（什么是正面和反面？）这可能对你的考前温习提纲不利。

LSDUID: 157855

------题目------
History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.

------正文------
The speaker asserts that history has nothing to do with people' important decisions. But the fact is history plays a considerable part in indicating both the whole society and our daily life as an accumulation of our ancestors' experiences, because of which (SO) I cannot agree with the speaker. (开头显得有些程式化，可参考一些比较新颖的开头)

To begin with, we can benefit from experiences of great figures and their accomplishment. Since many of our important decisions can be analogue with behaviors of great figures, through which can we easier to decide what should or not（to） do. For instance, Maozedong, as a great leader of revolution in china, often faced a series of problem in the period of resisting the Janpigs(???), most of which had been solved perfectly with the help of two historic books written several hundred years ago - -"The Art of War by Sunzi" and "The Three Kingdoms" - -which contains many excellent tactics and examples. For many times, Mao faced crucial choices which decide the success or failture of a campaign, even the whole revolution. Having assimilated the essence of the tow historic books, Mao was clearer than others that what should do and what should not do and every time he could make a correct decision. It was a series of Mao's important decision that the revolution in china was successful at last. Not only wars, but history also influences other field of the society such as education, business, politics and so on in the same way. History with an enormous variety of experience in it has an effective function of indication for us to make important decisions. (举中国的例子总是显得没有什么说服力，建议搂主尽量选些外国的例子)

In addition, we also can prevent ourselves from making wrong decisions through the history. Those （which have） negative influence or common misconception can also be precious treasures as adverse examples. Take a ancient civil country named Atlantis, for example, Because（for） the deforestation, pollution and many other behaviors that undermined the environment, all of these resulted in the imbalance of ecosystem and several natural disasters such as desertation, hurricane, flood and so on. (Then)the palmy ancient country disappeared at last. This shows how important the environment is and we should prevent it from pollution, or the victims may be human beings (ourselves). This is conductive for us to do great decisions about environment. Another example is Cultural Revolution happened in china. Instead of developing economy and science, the whole country boggled down in a crazy and absurd condition in which all educational institution including elementary school, high school and college were closed. All students must go to countries to labor with farmers at least two years. All of these had hampered the development of china for (at least) ten years. Realized the extreme mistake and revised it, the government of People's Republic (of) China had leaded the whole country to development in a high speed in the past twenty years. Though the history of those years leaded to a disaster, it can prevent us from making such a mistake. That is what the value of Cultural Revolution. (后面的一个例子要说明什么呢？没太读懂)

Admittedly, studying history has many advantages, however （admittedly与however这么用好吗？）, it has its own limit. With the development of society and science, it is possible for us to have no idea what to decide when a problem such as the population, moral of science and so on has no precedent. All of these call for a creative approach to solve. If we depend on history excessly, our society can advance little. Through studying history, we should be more inspired than rote it.（建议把上一段的例子去掉在这一段加强一些论述，可用反问，排比等论证方式，既好用又变换了论证形式）

In conclusion, history provide us with diverse experience which is the basis of our perspective and the ability to decide what to do. Yet it is not omnipotent. More and more problems that we will face requires the innovative intellect foe us to decide how to do.

lakeqianUID: 157560

看了下提纲。觉得正反两段不够，可以分领域展开，这样就有话说了。不过如果说重大决策。。。有的领域大概不好写。你写得太长了。