Issue23 我的第一篇习作，请指正：）

youlingerUID: 184593

Issue23:Contemporary technology makes available many small pieces of factual information. As a result, people have become so preoccupied with bits of fragmented information that they pay too little attention to the larger issues and overall perspectives.
I strongly object to this view. Admittedly contemporary technology makes people occupy more information than ever before, but it has not been the barriers which prevent people finding the final truth, on the contrary, it is just the reason why human beings can hold issues totally and research deeply.

Whether a society is developing or not depends on its development of technology, at the same time, the level of technology is measured by the quantities of factual information. In old days when technology was underdeveloped, people could seldom clarify many of facts and explain physical world, they got the conclusions largely depending on hypothesis. For example, our ancestors were arguing whether the earth was a circle or rectangle for many centuries, both of two sides could not offer persuasive information to testify their purposes. But nowadays, information sended back by satellites can make the result clearly. In addition, centuries ago, because of inconvenient communication—collect and exchange information, the king did not know where had a good crop and where suffer a disaster (storm, cataclysm) on time, so it was hard to determine how to allocate substance and money；the farmer did not know the exact time when the rain and typhoon come, so it was difficult to prevent crops from disasters previously. But in modern society, the factual information provided by advanced technology can resolve everything referred above.

From the great importance of information it fellows that the more information people occupied, the more deeply people realize the real world, the more attention people pay to the whole perspectives, the more brightly people resolve problems. The famous physicist      Newton said :” I stand on the giant’s shoulder.” What he means is that the theories he established is on the basis of lots of information found by other physicists, why other eminent physicists prior to Newton could not demonstrate the famous three mechanic laws? Besides the gift and brightness, the other main factor is that they did not master enough information. Look back to the course of human being recognizing physical world, firstly, our ancestors thought our world is composed by molecule；after a long centuries atom was thought the minimum unit； in modern times atom was divided into two elements: proton and neutron；but now, along with the information we get from x—ray and other advanced technological skills, we found that quark is the more minimal particle. From these two examples, we can see clearly that information plays an significant role in our “science” process.

Perhaps some people will query:”Is there so much information that converts our attention from the overall perspectives?” In my opinion, it certainly does not. Whether the information is useful or not depends on the way by which people deal with it and the ability that people have to discriminate it. We should cultivate our capabilities to find the helpful information to our research and study in this information—explosion world.

In a word, the information becomes more and more plentiful, consequently our insights about nature and society will accordingly become more and more intelligent and sensible.

xiaoheUID: 162707

1. 三部分论据中前两部分很切题，但第三部分关于原子构成的发现好象不能说明“掌握更多的事实加深了人类对事物的全面认识”的论题，只是说明了“更深入的研究才使人类掌握了更多的事实”
2. 用词和语法方法还需大力加强。试举几例用词：occupy (obtain) information, they got(drew) the conclusions largely depending(based) on hypothesis, where had a good crop(where there was a harvest), both of two sides  could not (neither side could) offer persuasive information, recognizing (discover) physical world... 太多用词不当让人读起文章来很吃力。

本人也在准备G考，到现在还没正经写过习作呢，目前只是读题及范文。正所谓“人微言轻”，以上意见仅供参考。等过几天我的习作贴上来，反击可千万别留情哟。

youlingerUID: 184593

关于你说的我第三部分的那个例子我会考虑一下的：）
你提的关于词语方面的意见确实不错，改的比我原文中的用词要恰当的多！谢谢！
我会努力在词语上下点功夫的。企盼你的习作：）

RikkuUID: 170558

Issue23:Contemporary technology makes available many small pieces of factual information. As a result, people have become so preoccupied with bits of fragmented information that they pay too little attention to the larger issues and overall perspectives.
I strongly object to this view[轻易不要用这种强烈的反对或赞成]. Admittedly contemporary technology makes people occupy more information than ever before, but it has not been the barriers which[that] prevent people finding the final truth, on the contrary, it is just the reason why human beings can hold issues totally and research deeply.[有让步的反对会更好]

Whether a society is developing or not[The development of a society,这样是否好一些] depends on its development of technology, at the same time, the level of technology is measured by the quantities of factual information. In old days when technology was underdeveloped, people could seldom clarify many of facts and explain physical world, they got the conclusions largely depending on hypothesis.[这几句论证比较好] For example, our ancestors were arguing whether the earth was a circle or rectangle for many centuries, both of two sides could not offer persuasive information to testify their purposes. But nowadays, information sended[sent] back by satellites can make the result clearly. In addition, centuries ago, because of inconvenient communication—collect and exchange information, the king did not know where had a good crop and where suffer a disaster (storm, cataclysm) on time, so it was hard to determine how to allocate substance and money；the farmer did not know the exact time when the rain and typhoon [would] come, so it was difficult to prevent crops from disasters previously. But in modern society, the factual information provided by advanced technology can resolve everything referred above.[最后一句把everything改为most of things]

From the great importance of information it fellows[fellow?] that the more information people occupied, the more deeply people realize the real world, the more attention people pay to the whole perspectives, the more brightly people resolve problems.[这个排比用得比较舒服] The famous physicist Newton said :” I stand on the giant’s shoulder.” What he means is that the theories he established is on the basis of lots of information found by other physicists, why other eminent physicists prior to Newton could not demonstrate the famous three mechanic laws? Besides the gift and brightness, the other main factor is that they did not master enough information.[例子不错] Look back to the course of human being recognizing physical world, firstly, our ancestors thought our world is composed by molecule；after a long centuries atom was thought the minimum unit； in modern times atom was divided into two elements: proton and neutron；but now, along with the information we get from x—ray and other advanced technological skills, we found that quark is the more minimal particle.[这个例子用上专业背景了，不错] From these two examples, we can see clearly that information plays an significant role in our “science” process.[第2个例子应该再着重展开一下，说明是大量的information的作用]

Perhaps some people will query:”Is there so much information that converts our attention from the overall perspectives?” In my opinion, it certainly does not. [又是一个比较绝对化的说法]Whether the information is useful or not depends on the way by which people deal with it and the ability that people have to discriminate it. We should cultivate our capabilities to find the helpful information to our research and study in this information—explosion world.

In a word[to sum up,in conclusion…….是比较常用的总结词], the information becomes more and more plentiful, consequently our insights about nature and society will accordingly become more and more intelligent and sensible.
[你的语言很不错（对我来说哈），作为第一篇文章这样的语言水平不错啊，继续努力。还有，每段的例子说完后，是否应该再论证一两句，然后才总结这段的观点？
我现在觉得有必要讨论一下这个issue的问题，比较好的翻译是：现代科学技术带来了大量小的信息片段，其结果是人们变得如此专注于零碎的信息而很少注意到更大的问题和用全局观念思考。
我觉得应该着重讨论这样一个问题：是否是由于大量的信息导致了人们很少注意到更大的问题和用全局观念思考。
你的2，3段都是讨论的information的重要性，只有4段提了一下信息不会导致人们pay too little attention to the larger issues and overall perspectives.然后马上转到了对有用信息和无用信息的讨论。实际上都是在讨论“信息”
文中的修改和对题目的理解都是我个人的，不一定对，恳请指正，谢谢]

youlingerUID: 184593

把我的文章读了几遍后好像也发现这个问题，就是对“大量局部信息”和“整体性把握”论证的不透彻，其实我想表达的是人们把握了大量的“小”信息，因此理解事物更透彻一些，可能缺少例子后论证的点睛之笔。我准备再改一下。
谢谢你的建议！：）