The Bush Survival Bible[分享]

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The Bush Survival Bible
250 Ways to Make It Through the Next Four Years Without Misunderestimating the Dangers Ahead, and Other Subliminable Strategeries
Written by Gene Stone


Here is the reality: Bush won; Kerry lost.
Here is your reaction: AA#RGH*HG@GHW&WGRWW!!?!
Here is your salvation: The Bush Survival Bible
Although many of you may try, you can’t really do anything about the election results. But you can do something about your postelection stress disorder. Here are 250 ways to help you get through the next four years. For instance:

• Are you suicidal? Here are 5 antidepressants to consider.

• Are you cold? Here are 6 reasons to love global warming.

• Are you ready to leave the country? Here are 7 countries to move to.

• Are you political? Here are 6 ways to get involved in local politics.

• Are you spiritual? Here are 9 prayers to get you through the night.

No matter who you are, no matter what you feel, there’s a solution for you. Yes, Bush won. But that doesn’t mean you have to lose. And remember, he can’t run for a third term. Just 1,461 days to go! Light a candle, don’t sweat the Bush stuff, and pray.


       
       



反布希新書教人再撐四年


【綜合外電報導】布希連任四年，讓五千五百多萬投票給凱瑞的美國選民叫苦連天，很多人都在問：這四年要怎麼過？一本諷刺布希的新書《在布希治下的生存聖經》(The Bush Survival Bible)瞄準市場，將於下周二上市，要教導討厭布希的美國人如何再熬四年。

寫明250種「生存之道」
這本寶典開宗明義告訴讀者，雖近半選民心中憤恨難平，但布希贏了是事實，大家現在只能勇於面對「選後憂鬱症」，本書副標題則是「未來四年不錯估危險局勢的二百五十種生存之道」。
作者史東(Jene Stone)說：「覺得冷嗎？布希帶來的溫室效應會讓你暖和（指其拒絕簽署抑制溫室效應的京都協議書）。對美國失去信心？最好移民外國。」她並幽默地指出，「布希贏了，不代表你輸了」。因為大家只要再忍耐一千四百六十一天，就可重燃希望，屆時布希也無法再連任，不過在這段時間內，你只能禱告。\r

加拿大雜誌：結婚救美民
加拿大也有幽默雜誌發起拯救美國人運動，設立www.marryanamerican.ca網站，呼籲 ... 身身分，拯救他們避�^牛仔保守主義。」此番理念一呼百應，已有一千四百多人登記參加這次拯救運動。
from: apple daily online


Ladies and gentlemen,
drop your borders
Now that George W. Bush has been officially elected, single, sexy, American liberals - already a threatened species - will be desperate to escape.
These lonely, afraid (did we mention really hot?) progressives will need a safe haven.
You can help. Open your heart, and your home. Marry an American. Legions of Canadians have already pledged to sacrifice their singlehood to save our southern neighbours from four more years of cowboy conservatism.
Marry an American >>Marry an American >>

http://www.marryanamerican.ca/pledge/