issue214 请指教！！！！！！！！

zhujingUID: 179561

214 "Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped."

I totally with the speaker insofar as gifted children should be identified and provided special education. Common sense and our experience inform us it is vital for a child that his or her inborn talent be explored. In addition , providing the gifted chances of utmost improvement benefit the society as a whole.

It is necessary and desirable to create a circumstance that is specially designed for inborn talents. First, because one’s childhood is the time he or she most easily be influenced and inspired; second, because there actually exists significant difference between the gifted and the average, yet innate genius may be buried unless in-time improvement is gained. Retrospect the early years when a child begins receiving information, with his fresh eyes, the neophyte naturally follows what is told by parents, unwittingly takes part in social activities, mimics adults and acquires his own basic abilities (e.g. language ability, aesthetical perception). Just like wet mud, a child’s personality is most easily to be molded and development. Therefore, we find it is telling that teenager university has been established in some countries, say, Russia and China, specially for qualified talents at their age of 13 or 14 as long as they are capable of learning much more and faster. More specifically, take chemistry major as an example, some committed teenagers could do experiments in university curriculum at ease while their peers find it painful to understand the composition of water. However, no chemist would excel if lacking of supportive environment- guidance and practice chances; after all talents alone could not build truly excellence. In a word, it makes a great difference once a child's potentials are truly developed at the personality-formulating stage.

From another angel, at societal level, to ensure a society benefit most from education, the young should be developed according to their individuality especially when showing special abilities. The ultimate ideal of education lies in providing children opportunities for their utmost development thereafter contributing meaningfully to the commonweal at large. We have long realized the greatness of genius. The artist Leonardo da Vinci and his peers in the Renaissance, how greatly they add meaning to human experience by the expression of humanism at the time; the musical prodigy Mozart, how inspiring his masterpieces for people living in the past and in contemporary world, just name a few. Fortunately, Vinci came into contact with prominent artists and began his artistic journey since his apprenticeship, and Mozart was taught to play the violin by his father and began composing before he was five. And until now their illuminating talents could still be appreciated by people throughout the world.  

Admittedly, some problems are still open to deal with for providing specialized education. It is highly likely that the gifted may grow up with unbalanced improvement, that is indulgence in their interests and disregard on others. A young math whiz may find it extraordinarily hard in daily life communication, or a young poet may unbearably inferior in physical self-care. In this respect, it is better to relegate these problems to psychologists and pedagogic experts so as to ensure the satisfying outcome.

Conclusively, children especially those with special talents could be best developed when gaining chances for exploration in their inborn characteristics. A society which embrace a circumstance of identifying and training geniuses benefit most as far as commonweal at large concerned.

apolloxpUID: 156355

互相改改？
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=234121

zhujingUID: 179561

正有此意
还有同意你的观点“早睡早起身体好！”：）

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

感觉有的句子不是很顺，而且句子的衔接上还有点不够自然，不能一口气读下去。

RikkuUID: 170558

I totally 是不是少了个agree？ with the speaker insofar as gifted children should be identified and provided special education.有疑问，totally可以和insofar as一起用吗？这两个好象有点矛盾哦 Common sense and our experience inform us it is vital for a child that his or her inborn talent be explored. In addition, providing the gifted chances of utmost improvement benefit the society as a whole.是完全赞同吗？那怎么用了insofar as？我觉得立场表明得不清楚

It is necessary and desirable to create a circumstance that is specially designed for inborn talents. First, because one’s childhood is the time he or she most easily be influenced and inspired; second, because there actually exists significant difference between the gifted and the average, yet innate genius may be buried unless in-time improvement is gained.这句读起来好别扭啊！！ Retrospect the early years when a child begins receiving information, with his fresh eyes, the neophyte naturally follows what is told by parents, unwittingly takes part in social activities, mimics adults and acquires his own basic abilities (e.g. language ability, aesthetical perception).举例不能用缩写e.g.，应该用for example，用缩写要扣分的 Just like wet mud, a child’s personality is most easily to be molded and developmentdeveloped. Therefore, we find it is telling that teenager universityUniversity has been established in some countries, say, Russia and China, specially for qualified talents at their age of 13 or 14 as long as they are capable of learning much more and faster. More specifically, take chemistry major as an example, some committed这个词应该怎么理解啊，我查词霸是：效忠的。意思 teenagers could do experiments in university curriculum at ease while their peers find it painful to understand the composition of water. However, no chemist would excel if lacking of supportive environment- guidance and practice chances; after all talents alone could not build truly excellence. In a word, it makes a great difference once a child's potentials are truly developed at the personality-formulating stage.这个少年班的例子还可以

From another angel, at societal level, to ensure a society benefit most from education, the young should be developed according to their individuality especially when showing special abilities.这句读了好几便，实在看不懂 The ultimate ideal of education lies in providing children opportunities for their utmost development thereafter contributing meaningfully to the commonweal at large. We have long realized the greatness of genius. The artist Leonardo daDa Vinci and his peers in the Renaissance, how greatly they add meaning to human experience by the expression of humanism at the time; the musical prodigy Mozart, how inspiring his masterpieces for people living in the past and in contemporary world, just name a few. Fortunately, Vinci came into contact with prominent artists and began his artistic journey since his apprenticeship, and Mozart was taught to play the violin by his father and began composing before he was five. And until now their illuminating talents could still be appreciated by people throughout the world.这段是说天才对社会的贡献把？例子还比较恰当

Admittedly, some problems are still open to deal with for providing specialized education. It is highlyvery likely that the gifted may grow up with unbalanced improvement, that is indulgence in their interests and disregard on others. A young math whiz may find it extraordinarily hard in daily life communication, or a young poet may unbearably inferior in physical self-care. In this respect, it is better to relegate these problems to psychologists and pedagogic experts so as to ensure the satisfying outcome.

Conclusively, children especially those with special talents could be best developed when gaining chances for exploration in their inborn characteristics. A society which embrace a circumstance of identifying and training geniuses benefit most as far as commonweal at large concerned.
我的修改仅代表我的观点，若是觉得不对可以和我探讨！
我对题目的理解是：应该说明社会到底应不应该这么做，因此我觉得你每段都应该点一下题：正面就说社会应该这么做，反面就说这个地方需要改进才好
另外，我觉得你的词语是刻意去用一些很高深的词语，长句也不自然，看得费劲，呵呵，也许我水平不高也是一个原因把
如有不对的地方，我们可以继续讨论哈，共勉！

zhujingUID: 179561

楼上的
多谢修改
同意关于句式的建议，我以后会多注意
以后继续互相修改好吧：）

RikkuUID: 170558

ok 没有问题