Argument240 我的第一篇，是不是太模式化了？

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

Ar 240
------题目------
The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.

------正文------
At first glance, the recommendation seems to be obvious that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory to serve the housing needs of students. A careful scrutiny, however, reveals that the argument suffers from several flaws which render it unpersuasive as it stands. First, is an attractive new dormitory one of the most important reasons for students to select Buckingham College? In addition, are the existing dormitories really inadequate in the near future? The argument also fails to convince us that the increase of rent for an apartment will inevitably make it difficult to afford off-campus housing for students. I will discuss each of these flaws in turn.

First of all, the speaker unfairly assumes that if an attractive new dormitory is built, students would more likely to enroll at Buckingham. However, this is often not the case. The argument fails to take into account several other aspects on which students depend to choose a college, such as, the reputation of the college, whether the arrangement of majors is comprehensive and reasonable, and how about the academic atmosphere? Common sense tells us that if these or other aspects of a college are not satisfying, just a new dormitory is inadequate to attract more students.

Moreover, we are not informed whether the growing enrollment based on current trends remains unchanged in the near future. Perhaps, for the decreasing of the number of teenager, the total students in Buckingham over the next fifty years will be less than now. Besides, there is no evidence provided that all of the growing enrollment in Buckingham will live in dormitory. It is entirely possible that the majority of the enrollment would prefer to live off-campus rather than in dormitory. It is also possible that most of these students choose long-distance learning, and they do not need to live in dormitory. Without ruling out these possibilities, the arguer cannot reasonably conclude that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory.

Finally, the average rent has increased does not necessarily mean that the rent for an apartment near Buckingham has also grown. What is more, the arguer does not tell us why the average rent has increased. Is it due to the inflation or the improvement of standard of living? The auger must provide clear evidence to persuade us that the rent for an apartment around Buckingham has increased and it surely brings difficulty to afford off-campus housing.

Overall, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer claims. The argument could be improved by providing clear evidence -perhaps by way of a reliable survey -that what percentage of the enrollment will select living in dormitory, and how many students feel the growing rent make them find difficult to afford off-campus housing. The information would be also useful that a new dormitory is a very important factor for attracting more students. In short, before any final decisions are made the arguer should think carefully.

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

给新手点鼓励吧！我早就装备好了，可怎么砖呀，臭鸡蛋呀，一样也不见呢？虽说是小mm，但我很坚强哟！尽管来吧！！！！！！

xingruyu0216UID: 160593

很标准的黄予作文模板，呵呵
不过也不错，我还没有开始写呢
争取这两天写出一篇，然后互相交流一下

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

终于有人给评了，很受鼓舞，实在是不胜感激！由于是第一篇，没什么自信，我会继续努力的。你的文章写好了，别忘了给我拜读一下，都是新手，互相鼓励，共同进步吗！

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

为满足我们学生的住房需求，Buckingham学院应该建造一幢新的宿舍。Buckingham的报名人数正在增加，而且按照现在有趋势，报名人数将会在未来50年中增加一倍，从而导致现有住宅不能满足要求。而且，我们镇上公寓的平均租金在最近几年上涨了。因此，学生将会越来越发现难于负担校外住宿费用。最后，一幢引人注目的新宿舍将会使未来的学生更愿意报考Buckingham.

------正文------
At first glance, the recommendation seems to be obvious that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory to serve the housing needs of students. A careful scrutiny, however, reveals that the argument suffers from several flaws which render it unpersuasive as it stands. First, would a new dormitory certainly attract most prospective students to enroll at Buckingham College? Is it necessary for Buckingham to build a new dormitory? The argument also fails to convince us that the students feel increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing due to the growing of average rent for apartmentrent. I will discuss each of these flaws in turn.

First of all, the speaker unfairly assumes that an attractive new dormitory is a very important factor on which students depend to select colleges. However, this is often not the case. Dormitory is only one aspect of a college, the most important one that students are concerned with is the major. Dose Buckingham have the majors in which students are interested? Is the arrangement of the curriculum of these majors reasonable? And whether the documents about these majors are out of date. If all of these aspects are unsatisfying, only an new dormitory is inadequate for Buckingham to atrract more enrollment. Unless the arguer could recognize and rule out other factors relevant
to choosing colleges for students, the claims that an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham is unfounded.

Moreover, we are not informed whether the growing enrollment based on current trends remains unchanged in the near future. Perhaps, for the decreasing of the number of teenagers, the total students in Buckingham over the next fifty years would be less than now, then we would not face the issue that the existing dormitories is inadequate. Even assuming that there would be double students, all of them will live in dormitory?  It is entirely possible that the majority of the enrollment would prefer to live off campus rather than in dormitory. It is also possible that with the development of Internet technology most of these students choose long-distance learning, and there is no necessary for them to live in dormitory. Without ruling out these possibilities, the arguer cannot reasonably conclude that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory to serve the housing needs of students.

Finally, the fact that the average rent for apartment in our town has increased dose not necessarily follow that students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. In all probability, after the growth of rent, students in Bucking turn to rent the apartment in groups, then the rent maybe decreased for each student comparing with before. Besides, what caused the growing of rent,  is it due to the inflation? Or if the growth of rent is less than the growth of income of public then, although the rent has increased, students still could afford off-campus housing. Therefore, this evidence the arguer cited is unconvincing.

Overall, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer claims. The argument could be improved by providing clear evidence -perhaps by way of a reliable survey -that what percentage of the enrollment will select living in dormitory, and how many students feel the growing rent make them find difficult to afford off-campus housing. The information would be also useful that a new dormitory rather than other aspects of Buckingham will inevitably attract more students. In short, before any final decisions are made the arguer should think carefully.

学习了别人的范文后，我自己又认真改了一下，大家给看看，这次是不是比上次有进步啦？多提宝贵意见！多提宝贵意见！

imongUID: 140258

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=203735

看看这里？关于Argument有3篇文章的链接的

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

多谢！多谢！能得到斑竹的帮助，感到万分荣幸！希望斑竹能多给新手们点鼓励和帮助！

bluelegend66UID: 161638

RESTATE 不知道应该不应该
我考试的时候没有~~

回归了~~~

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

谢谢bluelegend66! 我也不知道是不是应该restate, 我也是看了许多过来人说：restate 没什么用，所以才选择了提纲式开头，我觉得这种开头比较省时间，毕竟在写开头的同时已经考虑了自己正文将要写的内容。我也很困惑！你有没有更好的建议呢？

bluelegend66UID: 161638

你的开头还是长了~~问题的连环可以并在一块~
新东方的蓝的和白的里面有很多摸板~花点时间拼凑出自己的版本~不会让人家一眼就看出来哈

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

多谢，受益非浅！