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[i习作temp] Issue202 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧! [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-1-13 10:35:24 |显示全部楼层
Issue202  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:45分4秒     316 words
从2005年0月12日21时1分到2005年0月12日21时45分
------题目------
Unlike great thinkers and great artists, the most effective political leaders must often yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise.
------正文------

我的思路:

1.        说明great think 和 artists 的确不需和public opinion 一致
2.        political leaders 需要和public opinion 保持一致
a)        因为:他们因PublicOpinion(PO)而产生
b)        他们需要为public 的利益服务
3. 但是有时不能和PO一致 (因为public不懂太多和易被误导)
4. 此时effective leaders 需要坐工作说服PO,改变PO。最终实现public 利益的最大化。

感想: I。思路有点乱。什么都想说但是没有说太清楚;
       II.缺乏有力的实证,通篇都是论述。

Maybe 这样更好些:
1.        说明great think 和 artists 的确不需和public opinion 一致
2.        大多数时候,political leaders 需要和public opinion 保持一致
c)        因为:他们因PublicOpinion(PO)而产生
d)        他们需要为public 的利益服务
3.但是有时不能和PO一致 (因为public不懂太多和易被误导)
4. effective leaders 会坐工作说服PO,改变PO,坐些compromise,并abandon principle。

但是这样好像不是很深入。怎么改?请各位指教!


What distinguish great thinkers and great artists is the uniquness and creativity in their thoughts and works.  Public opinion represents the ideas and opinions of the majority  of the society, which are neither unique nor creative. Somtimes, being at odds with public opinion is one of the characteristics that make those great great.

However, political leaders are totally different from great thinkers and great artists. Political leaders are representative of the members of the society. Public opinion is where political leaders are from and where they should go as well.

Most effective political leaders are selected by public by vote. To be able to be selected, they have to listen to the public and considerate what the public most concern about. In addition, effective political leaders have to represent the public's benefits and work for it. Famoust political leaders in history were very good at  communicate with public and took measures to cope with public opinion. The success of Mr. Lincon is a good example for it.

However, this does not mean that political leaders have to follow public opinion at every case. Public cannot know everything at the political level and sometimes public opinion is very easy to be misguided. Base politial decisions on pure public opinions would be very dangerous.

Compromise is very imporatant for politics, as plitics is a way of balancing different strenghth. It is possible that they need to make compromis with public opinions on some accasions. But this need to be carefully examined so that the results in the long run would be good for the public.  On these cases, effective politics would take measures to influence and change public opinions. Public speech is a common way to achieve this.

Public opinion justifies the power of political leaders. If there is difference between public opinion and political leaders, effective political leaders need to make measure to make them be accordance.

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发表于 2005-1-13 16:38:23 |显示全部楼层
555, 怎么没有人给我提意见啊。
我都按论坛要求把自己的提纲和想法列出来了啊。。。
版主帮帮忙拉!!

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发表于 2005-1-13 21:00:21 |显示全部楼层
What distinguish great thinkers and great artists is the uniquness and creativity in their thoughts and works. Public opinion represents the ideas and opinions of the majority of the society, which are neither unique nor creative universal and common. Somtimes, being at odds with public opinion is one of the characteristics that make those great great ( make them greater? ) .

However, political leaders are totally different from great thinkers and great artists. Political leaders are representative of the members of the society. Public opinion is where political leaders are from and where they should go as well. 这句从中文意思上说通,但怎么看怎么别扭.这样改可以吗? The public opinion serves to determine where ……..

Most effective political leaders are selected by public by vote. To be able to be selected, they have to listen to the public and considerate what the public most concern about. In addition, effective political leaders have to represent the public's benefits and work for it. Famoust ( Famous) political leaders in history were very good at communicate with public and took measures to cope with public opinion. The success of Mr. Lincon is a good example for it. how?展开一下,注意例子的展开和论证喔。

However, this does not mean that political leaders have to follow public opinion at every case. (The 应该要加的吧?) Public cannot know everything at the political level and sometimes public opinion is very easy to be misguided. (why?比如?)Base (Basing) politial (political)decisions on pure public opinions would be very dangerous. 会导致什么结果?

Compromise is very important important for politics, as plitics politics is a way of balancing different strenghth strength. It is possible that they need to make compromis compromise with public opinions on some accasions occasions. But this need to be carefully examined so that the results in the long run would be good for the public. On these cases, effective politics would take measures to influence and change public opinions. Public speech is a common way to achieve this.

Public opinion justifies the power of political leaders. If there is difference between public opinion and political leaders, effective political leaders need to make measure to make them be accordance.

1.        我想你也意识到整篇文章比较干,缺少事例,或者没有展开。让人很难信服。一般说来,如果你提出一个观点,就要展开加以证明。最好要用事例。用事列说明问题。
2.        开头要开门见山。觉得p1和2应该并在一起。一般开头都要开门见山的表示自己的立场,并要提纲挈领一番,个人意见。
3.        每次贴上来前先用word检查一遍,有很多拼写错误。
4.        我也刚开始写issue,最好多看看范文是怎样展开的。我觉得挺有启发的。:)
最后冲刺了,回砖攒着考完一定还。希望大家多多给以指正。:)

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发表于 2005-1-13 21:27:08 |显示全部楼层
多谢拉,你的建议很有帮助,你建议我给出例子的地方正是我想不出应该加例子的地方。
假大空的文章写多了的毛病,呵呵。

BTW,好像我也刚看了你的文章。hehe

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发表于 2005-1-13 21:31:27 |显示全部楼层

bow~~~谢谢
最后冲刺了,回砖攒着考完一定还。希望大家多多给以指正。:)

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发表于 2005-1-13 21:32:23 |显示全部楼层
btw,我对政治类的事例也不敏感
建议刚开始从教育类开始写,会比较有话讲:)
最后冲刺了,回砖攒着考完一定还。希望大家多多给以指正。:)

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RE: Issue202 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧! [修改]

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Issue202 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
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