argument21 处女作（用两个小时）

hh_915UID: 185160

The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.

"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our deluxe alpaca overcoats. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has risen in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."

The new vice president considers that their company profits will increase by restarting to product alpaca overcoat after five years because they get new fabric supplier. The given reasons are that (1) it is a long time since their company and their major competitor has stopped making alpaca overcoat, so the customer demand will rise; (2) the price of other kinds of clothing has risen, so the customers would like to pay more for the alpaca overcoat. A careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.

The customer demand depends on many reasons, not only how many years the product has disappeared. Some products have been replaced because they are behind the times. There is no reason to sure people still like alpaca overcoats. Their major competitor may stop producing for the decrease of demand. Most of people love prevalent things, that is something called “pad”. If the company can not turn the pad to alpaca overcoats by advertising, the custom demand may not be as much as their anticipation.

Their major competitor no longer make alpaca overcoats does not stand for that there are not other companies product alpaca overcoats. If other company has made alpaca overcoats for many years and they stand steadily on the market, it is very hard to have the demand of the new brand for alpaca overcoats increased.

The price of other kinds of clothing has risen does not mean that the price of alpaca overcoat should be rise. The price in market is decided by many complex reasons, for instance, the pad, the demand, the price of the fabric, the procedure of produce and so on. Even if the price of a alpaca overcoat rise, that may be because of the risen of the price of the fabric, or the intricacy of the price for procedure. So the profits of the company may not increase.

Overall, the vice president should think carefully before concluding.

zhivagoUID: 192018

我也刚开始写 argument  觉得孙远的模板还是不错的
至少能省不少时间

zhivagoUID: 192018

加油呀

flyingwindUID: 189320

问题很多！语言很有问题啊
写的不好啊
加油！
每个人第1篇都不是太好的
多看看范文，再写篇argu我给你改！

hh_915UID: 185160

今天听了flyingwind大哥的意见，重新读一下我的文章，发现简直象在做短文改错，万分惭愧，昨天太困了，连检查都没检查就发上去了，今天检查了一遍，应该还有很多问题，不知是否尚可一读，希望大家能够给予帮助，万分感谢

The new vice president considers that their company profits will increase by restarting to product alpaca overcoat after five years because they get a new fabric supplier. The given reasons are that (1) it is a long time since their company and their major competitor have stopped making alpaca overcoat, so the customer demand will rise; (2) the price of other kinds of clothing has risen, so the customers would like to pay more for the alpaca overcoat. A careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is.

The customer demand depends on many situations, not only on how many years the product has been disappeared. Some products have been replaced because they are behind the times. There is no reason to affirm people still like alpaca overcoats. Their major competitor may stop producing also for the decrease of demand. Most of people love prevalent things, that is something called “pad”. If the company can not turn the pad to alpaca overcoats by advertising, the custom demand may not be as much as their anticipation.

Their major competitor no longer make alpaca overcoats does not stand for that there are not other companies product alpaca overcoats. If other companies had made alpaca overcoats for many years and they had stand steadily on the market, it is very hard to have the demand of the new brand for alpaca overcoats increased.

The price of other kinds of clothing has risen does not mean that the price of alpaca overcoats should ascend. The price in market is decided by many complex reasons, for instance, the pad, the demand, the price of the fabric, the procedure of produce and so on. Even if the price of alpaca overcoats had risen, that might be the result of the risen of the price of the fabric, or the intricacy of the price for procedure. So the profits of the company may not increase.

Overall, the vice president should think carefully before concluding.

flyingwindUID: 189320

The new vice president considers that their company profits will increase by restarting to product alpaca overcoat after five years because they get a new fabric supplier. The given reasons are that (1) it is a long time since their company and their major competitor have stopped making alpaca overcoat, so the customer demand will rise; (2) the price of other kinds of clothing has risen, so the customers would like to pay more for the alpaca overcoat. A careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless the conclusion is. 开头不用recite，很耽误时间，你看你的文章里面开头占大比例

The customer demand depends on many situations, not only on how many years the product has been disappeared. Some products have been replaced because they are behind the times. There is no reason to affirm people still like alpaca overcoats. Their major competitor may stop producing also for the decrease of demand. Most of people love prevalent things, that is something called “pad”你是想说垫肩吗. If the company can not turn the pad to alpaca overcoats by advertising, the custom demand may not be as much as their anticipation.

Their major competitor no longer makemaking alpaca overcoats does not stand for that there are not other companies product alpaca overcoats. If other companies had made alpaca overcoats for many years and they had stand steadily on the market, it is very hard to have the demand of the new brand for alpaca overcoats increased. 最大的竞争对手不再生的原因是什么，有没有可能正是因为这种服装已不受人欢迎，所以他们才停止生产的

The price of other kinds of clothing has risen does not mean that the price of alpaca overcoats should ascend.同样的句子有问题，2个动词 The price in market is decided by many complex reasons, for instance, the pad, the demand, the price of the fabric, the procedure of produce and so on. Even if the price of alpaca overcoats had risen, that might be the result of the risen of the price of the fabric, or the intricacy of the price for procedure. So the profits of the company may not increase.现在人们愿意付比五年前高的价格来购买？价格定的高有人来买不？有很多方面都会影响是否赢利，其中成本是一个很重要的原因，而关于现在这项成本是多少，也许价格高了成本更高，使得更加没钱可赚

Overall, the vice president should think carefully before concluding.这个结尾也太寒碜了点吧

你的语言还有很大的上升空间。。。。。：）
批驳段之间如果没有足够的逻辑关系来顺连的话，不访用逻辑标志词来连接，first,secondly,etc.gter的精华区有总结
加油，到考前issue写20篇+，argu10篇+

hh_915UID: 185160

感谢flingwind的辛勤劳动，给了我很大启示
我决定先好好去看看语法，：（
再次感谢！！！！！

flyingwindUID: 189320

共同进步！