Argument242 我的第一篇Argument

AutoseaUID: 192045

The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.
"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned
system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this
figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without." [/FONT]  [/SIZE]  

参考了网上的提纲。写了半小时，又自己改了一个小时。

In this editorial the author concludes that other institutions should employ the honor codes similar to Groveton’s to prevent students from cheating. To support the conclusion, the author provides several well-presented reasons, but these reasons are not cogent enough to substantiate the conclusion.

First of all, whether the Groveton’s honor code works is still a question. The honor code requires students to agree not to cheat in their academic courses. It is futile because students are very likely to break their promise in order to obtain a high score. The honor code also depends on students themselves to detect cheating. If every student in Groveton College is honest and hard-hearted, the student may report cheating to a faculty member. In fact, however, students are hardly willing to uncover that their friends have cheated. In addition, since students can report those who they suspect of cheating, the honor code may mistake innocent students for cheaters.

In the second place, the figures presenting in the editorial do not prove that the honor code is successful in Groveton College. The author fails to show the reducing of detected cheating is a result of switching to the honor code. There are other reasons that may lead to the same result. For example, less academic examinations, less students who took examinations, or even less notifications of cheating from students who may cheat together and commit more cheatings is a possible explanation for the decrement.

Furthermore, the survey is not convincing. The respondents may be only students in Groveton College. It is still uncertain that students in other institutions will response the survey in the same way. Another defect of the survey is that the students may hide their true ideas about cheating when being surveyed. Additionally, the recent survey cannot predict students’ attitude toward cheating in the near future.

Finally, the author commits a false analogy. Information about other institutions is unavailable in this editorial. Other institutions may have already reduced cheating incidence, so they do not need to adopt the honor code. Another worse case is that students in other institutions are not honest at all so that they can cheat much more after the application of the honor code. Similarly, the students in Groveton College may not be typical. Their condition might be totally different from students in other institutions.

In sum, the conclusion arrived at in this editorial is invalid and misleading. The author must offer more reasonable evidences to justify the conclusion. Otherwise, at least from the editorial, I can infer that the result of switching to the honor code is likely to go contrary to the author's wishes[/SIZE]

莫名NUID: 146481

还可以，不过感觉说的点比较多，但是都没有分析的很透彻。与其这样，不如挑两三点出来好好分析。多看一下精华区里的文章，让自己的文笔更加简练一点。

比如说：In the second place, the figures presenting in the editorial do not prove that the honor code is successful in Groveton College. The author fails to show the reducing of detected cheating is a result of switching to the honor code.
其实这两句话表达的是一个意思，没有必要说两遍。有凑字数之嫌

加油~~~
对于第一篇来说是不错的了
希望你能得到更大的进步

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

In this editorial the author concludes that other institutions should employ the honor codes similar to Groveton’s to prevent students from cheating. To support the conclusion, the author provides several well-presented reasons, but these reasons are not cogent enough to substantiate the conclusion.

First of all, whether the Groveton’s honor code works is still a question. The honor code requires students to agree not to cheat in their academic courses. It is 最好用might,避免太绝对futile because students are very likely to break their promise in order to obtain a high score. The honor code also depends on students themselves to detect cheating. If every student in Groveton College is honest and hard-hearted, the student may report cheating to a faculty member.总觉得这句话是在帮argument说的  In fact, however, students are hardly willing to uncover that their friends have cheated. In addition, since students can report those who they suspect of cheating, the honor code may mistake innocent students for cheaters.以上两句话可以再展开一些，比如：甚至有人会帮朋友作弊。还有人会通过举报来报复和自己有矛盾的人

In the second place, the figures presenting in the editorial do not prove that the honor code is successful in Groveton College. The author fails to show the reducing of detected cheating is a result of switching to the honor code. There are other reasons that may lead to the same result. For example, less academic examinations, less students who took examinations, [U]or even less notifications of cheating from students who may cheat together and commit more cheatings is a possible explanation for the decrement.[/U] 这句话好像没太说清楚

Furthermore, the survey is not convincing. The respondents may be only students in Groveton College. It is still uncertain that students in other institutions will response the survey in the same way. Another defect of the survey is that the students may hide their true ideas about cheating when being surveyed.再加一句：毕竟作弊不是件光荣的事，会显得连贯点 Additionally, the recent survey cannot predict students’ attitude toward cheating in the near future.

Finally, the author commits a false analogy. Information about other institutions is unavailable in this editorial. Other institutions may have already reduced cheating incidence, so they do not need to adopt the honor code. Another worse case is that students in other institutions are not honest at all so that they can cheat much more after the application of the honor code. Similarly, the students in Groveton College may not be typical. Their condition might be totally different from students in other institutions.为什么不typical?可以举个例子。比如别的学校竞争不激烈，毕业都能找到好工作，不重视成绩；考试简单，随便学学就过了等等

In sum, the conclusion arrived at in this editorial is invalid and misleading. The author must offer more reasonable evidences to justify the conclusion. Otherwise, at least from the editorial, I can infer that the result of switching to the honor code is likely to go contrary to the author's wishes

AutoseaUID: 192045

谢谢各位，特别是不怕开水烫的猪的详细修改。
我还还有个问题， Argument写多少字比较合适？ 我感觉如果题目陌生的话，我最多写到350。