issue 61(prepare for 207--12)

LSDUID: 157855

写得很不顺的一篇，麻烦大伙看看！：（
61"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."

According to the speaker's assertion, high-profile awards play negative parts in the development of society since they indicate that only a few people can get those rewards. For my part, I don't agree with the speaker who wrongly understands the really purpose of these awards.

The amount of high-profile awards should be a small one for people who can make great progress to our society are also the few elites, just like the gold which has high prize since the rare amount.  To the small group of elites these high honors are the certainty of their enormous efforts to the society and outstanding ability. Such awards also help encourage them continue their work. To other persons who are not yet achieve their dreams, these high honors are stimulating them try their best for their aim. What's more, the small groups of elites who have win the high-profiles also good examples for people who still on their way and give them the right oriental for striving. If we enlarge the amount of such awards, people will pay no attention to the awards and overlook their above significance in that large amount of awards will make people confused about the values of their work and abilities. Therefore, the number of awards should be a relatively a small one and it will undoubtedly boost the evolution of our society, rather than damaging it.

The speaker is to some extend wrongly understand the meaning of high-profile awards, for the purpose of the elites no matter scientists, political leaders or writers is not only to gain the prize but to pursue their own ideal or fulfill their own responsibilities. For example, Einstein, who was famous for his theory of relativity, was a man enthusiasm with his interesting. So, can we draw the conclusion that Einstein will be harmed and stroked if he was not be granted the Nobel Prize? Definitely, we do not. The real aim of Einstein is not the prize but his ideal. Similarly, Martin Luther king, the outstanding political leader who strived freedom and democracy for his people would lose his passion if he were not given the Noble Price? The answer is also no, since what he cared was his people's happiness and rights, no the prize. From the foregoing statement we can find that there is no need to worry that people will lose passion and depressed for not gaining the awards and the real impetus of human beings are their aims and ideals, not the high-awards.

In sum, high-profile rewards will not harm our society for even though only a few people deserve such recognition. They are just certainties of person's effort and ability not the real purpose of people's lives.

netbugwangUID: 157454

This issue is really difficult. After I read your response, I found that you suffers from the follwoing flaws:

First of all, the idea you proposed is not insightful enough

Second, some of your words are not approriate

Last, your sentences suffers from some grammer errors .

In sum, try harder, sucess is not far:)

花之颜色UID: 187195

占座先,这个偶昨天刚写过提纲,正好瞅一眼学习一下嘿嘿~

花之颜色UID: 187195

According to the speaker's assertion, high-profile awards play negative parts in the development of society since they indicate that only a few people can get those rewards. For my part, I don't agree with the speaker who wrongly understands the [U]really[/U] real purpose of these awards.

The amount of high-profile awards should be a small one for people who can make great progress to our society are also the few elites, just like the gold which has high prize [U]since[/U] due to the [U]rare amount[/U] rarity. To the small group of elites these high honors are the [U]certainty [/U]  recognitionof their enormous efforts to the society and outstanding ability. Such awards also help encourage them continue their work. To other persons who are not yet achieve their dreams, these high honors are stimulating them try their best for their aims. What's more, the small groups of elites who have win the high-profiles also set upgood examples for people who still on their way and give them the right [U]oriental [/U]  orientationfor striving. If we enlarge the amount of such awards, [U]people will pay no attention to the awards [/U]  不见得吧,啥时候人们也不会不关心钱的and overlook their above significance in that large amount of awards will make people confused about the values of their work and abilities. Therefore, the number of awards should be [U]a [/U]  relatively [U]a [/U]  small one and it will undoubtedly boost the evolution of our society, rather than damaging it.前面的论证还行，后面假定扩大得奖人数的论证有问题，没表达清楚，再斟酌

The speaker is to some [U]extend [/U] extent wrongly understand the meaning of high-profile awards, for the purpose of the elites no matter scientists, political leaders or writers is not only to gain the prize but to pursue their own ideal or fulfill their own responsibilities. For example, Einstein, who was famous for his theory of relativity, was a man [U]enthusiasm[/U] 用adj with his interesting. So, can we draw the conclusion that Einstein will be harmed and stroked if he was not be granted the Nobel Prize? Definitely, we do not. The real aim of Einstein is not the prize but his ideal. Similarly, Martin Luther king, the outstanding political leader who strived freedom and democracy for his people would lose his passion if he were not given the Noble Price? The answer is also no, since what he cared was his people's happiness and rights, no the prize. From the foregoing statement we can find that there is no need to worry that people will lose passion and depressed for not gaining the awards and the real impetus of human beings are their aims and ideals, not the high-awards. 中心句写的不清楚，Einstein的例子没阐述好

In sum, high-profile rewards will not harm our society [U]for [/U] 去掉，不然语法有毛病 even though only a few people deserve such recognition. They are just [U]certainties [/U]  of person's effort and ability not the real purpose of people's lives.最后一句也写的言不达意,结尾对论点总结的不好.

总体来说,用词不准确,个别句子表达意思不清楚,请楼主下次改正.

LSDUID: 157855

谢谢楼上两位，仔细反思一下！

LSDUID: 157855

晕了！
这篇写的真是失败！对不住大家了！
我会改正！

LSDUID: 157855

61"High-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are actually damaging to society because they suggest that only a few people deserve such recognition."
最高荣誉比如诺贝尔奖实际上是在损害社会，因为这种奖项在暗示只有少数人才配得上这样的荣誉。
提纲：
1. 少数人获奖是客观事实，这是人们普遍认为的真理，并不是因为这些奖项的设立。人们承认个体的智商，情商，以及机会都是有差异的，所以只有那些有高智慧，高能力，抓得住机会的人才能获得巨大的成功，这些人也肯定不是多数，因此也只有少数人能够获奖。
2．High-profile 不会损害社会。作者认为大多数人因为获不了奖而受到打击，失去对工作及生活的积极性实际上是错误的，因为大多数人是为自己的理想，信念而奋斗并不是为了获奖。用Einstein和Martin Luther king 的例子说明得到Noble prize 对他们来说只是意外的惊喜，并不是真正的目的所在
整理了思路重新列的提纲，欢迎大家跟贴讨论！
:p