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It has a long sociological这个词不准确吧,这是指社会学,而这个争论是在社会范围上的 controversy that whether or not a nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow school in different parts of the nation to determine which academic course to offer. 不要抄原题,用自己的话来描述题目,因为抄原题会让人认为你语言的能力有限The common belief of some educators is that different parts of the nation should determine which course they offer. But aided by scientists and educator’s researching today, nevertheless, hold a thoroughly different idea that a nation should uniform his national curriculum in order to get the suitable balance.没有主语,写长句子时要注意别把自己绕进去 Both of arguments have their evidence to support their argument. In this circumstance, I would like to unify both of arguments: a nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college, but in some special area ,it has right some speciality.it has right some....不通顺啊 For example, they can offer their language course in order to let their culture continue.这里举什么例子啊,放到正文里面去吧
In the nation, not all the areas have the same situation of education.表达不恰当,改成not all areas around the nation have the same educational condition. 另外,即便这句话你表达对了,我不明白这到底跟本文的主题什么关系,你自己知道但是读者不明白啊,你需要一个because 从句来引起这句,然后给出一个表示目的的主句,我给你改了一下:If shools are allowed to decide their own curriculum, then the quality of education can hardly be guaranteed For example, in countryin the country , the condition of schools is much worse than that in city. If they have right to decide which curriculums would be offered, they maybe cut off some curriculum to save trouble. Even in law, every citizen has the right to own the same level of being educated.the same level of being educated, 太别扭了,改成every citizen has the same right to have an access to an education of the same quality. No matter how far you leavelive, 不应该是how far, 应该是no matter where you live , before college, you have the right of deserving deserving改成receiving, 后面没有详细给你改,改的太多会让别人觉得不公平的,因为已经放出风去要给改作文多的同学献香吻的。 compulsory education. If we let different parts of the nation to determine which academic to offer, in country, we needn’t worry about major curriculum, but other class like music, philosophy, class of qualification would be taught without qualification remaining, because there isn't the same amount of aid. With the prohibiting of law, the government must obey to give education appropriate budget in order to offer all of courses.
In political view不要上来就举例,给出topic sentense和说理, for example, in China, she has 56 kinds of races. We must keep different kinds of races solidary. The same national curriculum is helpful in potential effect of communicating with each other. For example, in China, through we speak Chinese. But it has multi-pronounce. Our government advocates standard Chinese pronounce. Thus, different area people would have no trouble in communion. Even through I was born and live in Heilongjiang province in the northeast of China, I can speak Chinese freely in the whole country with standard pronounce with no trouble.
As a view of college, it is convenient to offer college course that students has the same level of grades same level of grades? 相同的教育水平就可以了,不用相同的分数吧。改成the same educational background before getting into college. Most scientists hold the ideas that the education before college is basic education. It is better to fly the imagination of students in college to let them further their education in distinguishing orientation. A living example in China, all the students from the out-of-the-way province before studying in university must be taught in preparatory school. Even they must study standard chinese language because they usually speak their race language, and can’t listen to the class very well. Also they learn some basic course like English and math because of their weak level. If they offer the same curriculum, nothing is so trouble.
Another view which should be thought over is that too completely uniform is not a good ting. The best way to solve this problem is that in major course before college, we should keep the same curriculum. However in some areas where they have their own culture, art, and language, it is necessary to add some course for their students. A nation can't let her minority culture go to dead. Keep both of argument together and balance is the best way.
作文的基本框架还没掌握好,每个body段都要有topic sentense + 说理+例证,语言上的问题也比较多,需要多注意。
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