Argument164 第一篇 见笑

pillyUID: 174281

164Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledge that tourists are willing to pay money to tour some of the architect's buildings, so it can be expected that tourists will want to visit this new building. The income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building costs. Furthermore, such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. And even though such a building will be much larger than our current need for student housing, part of the building can be used as office space.



The arguer recommends that Claitown University should commit a famous architect who is good at experimental and futuristic buildings to construct a new building and find a way to fund the building of such housing. At a first glance, the suggestion seems somewhat convincing, however, the argument suffers from logical fallacies if through further analysis.

First of all, the arguer fails to convince us that tourists will be attracted by the new building, just because the building is set up by a certain famous architect. The arguer expects to attract tourists to visiting the new building and use the fees charged to tourists to cover the building costs, however, the places which tourists choose to visit is mainly based on whether the building’s architect style is distinctive, an important historical event happened there, or a famous scientist ever lived there, especially in a university. It is not creditable that the income from tourists would soon cover the building costs. The new building is not designed as a tour site, therefore, even if the new building will attract many tourists, their visit will interrupt students’ normal study and rest.

Another flaw of this argue is that the arguer ignores that the other important fact to spark more new student’ interests to enter this school and donation from alumni. Housing condition is just a secondary fact when a student is considering whether to choose this school, and experience tells us that teacher’s qualification, teaching level as well as former graduate’s job are more important. If the arguer intends to attract more students to enter this university, facts I mentioned above would be improved at first, rather than the new building. Meanwhile the donation offered by alumni depends on their income and passion to the university. If the graduate is poor or indifferent to the university, he/she will not donate anything.

In addition, it is obvious that the arguer’s plan is not perfect, since a building including students’ dormitory and teachers’ office is not reasonable. The noises in students’ dormitory might bother teachers’ normal work. In the other hand, as teachers in the same building, students might not feel free enough and could not have a good rest. In my opinion, the designer could use the extra spaces for sports or reading room and so on.

In summary, the arguer’s suggestion is not persuasive as it stands. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer should supply detailed information that the problem of fund to build the new students’ housing could be solved through hiring a famous architect. Furthermore, the arguer should consider cogently how to use the extra spaces of the new building.

poohUID: 146994

164Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledge that tourists are willing to pay money to tour some of the architect's buildings, so it can be expected that tourists will want to visit this new building. The income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building costs. Furthermore, such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. And even though such a building will be much larger than our current need for student housing, part of the building can be used as office space.



The arguer recommends that Claitown University should commit a famous architect who is good at experimental and futuristic buildings to construct a new building and find a way to fund the building of such housing. At a first glance, the suggestion seems somewhat convincing, however, the argument suffers from logical fallacies if through further analysis.

First of all, the arguer fails to convince us that tourists will be attracted by the new building, just because the building is set up by a certain famous architect. The arguer expects to attract tourists to visiting the new building and use the fees charged to tourists to cover the building costs, however, the places which tourists choose to visit is mainly based on whether the building’s architect style is distinctive, an important historical event happened there, or a famous scientist ever lived there, especially in a university.实际上只要这几个条件具备一个就可以吸引旅游者，而这个设计师题目已经交待了是个有名的而且有特色的设计师。所以你这句的论证效果比较差 It is not creditable that the income from tourists would soon cover the building costs. 前两句间跳跃太大，你还没有说旅游者的数目是值得怀疑的，就跳到了收入 The new building is not designed as a tour site, 这句来得很唐突，实际上，这层意思跟整段分歧比较大，跟topic sentense也不一致，最好另起一段来说 therefore, even if the new building will attract many tourists, their visit will interrupt students’ normal study and rest.这段逻辑有点混乱，思维跳跃性大。
最后三句之间的逻辑关系模糊，


Another flaw of this argue is that the arguer ignores that the other important fact to spark more new student’ interests to enter this school and donation from alumni. Housing condition is just a secondary fact when a student is considering whether to choose this school, and experience tells us that teacher’s qualification, teaching levellevel--> ability  as well as former graduate’s job -->career prospects are more important. If the arguer intends to attract more students to enter this university, facts I mentioned above would be improved at first, rather than the new building. Meanwhile the donation offered by alumni depends on their income and passion to the university. If the graduate is poor or indifferent to the university, he/she will not donate anything.

In addition, it is obvious that the arguer’s plan is not perfect, since a building including students’ dormitory and teachers’ office is not reasonable. The noises in students’ dormitory might bother teachers’ normal work. In the other hand, as teachers in the same building, students might not feel free enough and could not have a good rest. In my opinion, the designer could use the extra spaces for sports or reading room and so on. 从最后这句话来看你是支持有这个设计师来修建学生宿舍了？自相矛盾

In summary, the arguer’s suggestion is not persuasive as it stands. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer should supply detailed information that the problem of fund to build the new students’ housing could be solved through hiring a famous architect. Furthermore, the arguer should consider cogently how to use the extra spaces of the new building

pillyUID: 174281

多谢pooh指点迷津，是要整理思路，好好改改