issue244 社会对思想家的重视 我的第二篇 觉得来不及了，3月4号考啊！

圣光UID: 193720

244. "Most societies do not take their greatest thinkers seriously, even when they claim to admire them."

From the ancient time to now, there are many great thinkers such as Aristotle, Socrates, and Bacon. They are the treasure of the human and our society, who benefit us a lot. Although some of the greatest thinkers were treated unfair because of some certain reasons, most of them were considered by the whole society as the fundamental elements of the development of the society, especially contemporarily, due to the faster development of the world, the greatest thinkers are more and more respected by people.
When we were pupils in the school, the teachers told us the names of the greatest thinkers thousands of years ago such as Aristotle. We learned his words and discoveries then, and built deep impression that he is an excellent giant who should be remembered forever. With this kind of education, we have the true respect on the greatest thinkers even we know some of their theories are wrong. We admire their ability of creation; we adore their capability of gaining inspiration from the normal things. We are going to transfer this kind of respect to our offspring, and make sure it will move on generation to generation. As the component of the society, we, people, respect the greatest thinkers even thousands of years before when we were children, so how can the statement that the society does not take the thinkers seriously be tenable?
With the development of the society, there is more need on the thinkers. They have to find the methods to solve both physical and mental problems that human beings are facing. We have to depend on them to keep ourselves survive and flourish on the Earth. We have to rely on them to find answers to our spiritual puzzles. Thus they will be more and more respected, and their importance will be more and more emphasized. We, human beings, are in front of many questions required to solve. And as is commonly known that, it is the thinkers that can ameliorate the situation of the polluted environment; it is the thinkers that can find new alternative fuels; it is the thinkers that can make the world better for human to live; it is the thinkers that can prevent the society from corrupting. With this trend to be considered, we can imagine that thinkers will become the most important part of our society; both contribute most greatly to the society and are respected by people.
However, there were some greatest thinkers who were not respected by the society. But they were in some certain circumstance of the society, which were not normal or common. Their theories were not accepted by the society, and some of the thinkers were treated unfair because of their extremely clairvoyant thoughts. It may be because the technology of the society was not that developed, so no one can understand the theory or the dominators at that time had to deny the theory to protect the governing. Mendel and Galileo are the best examples. Mendel found the three laws in genetics; however, his discovery was accepted by the public after he died nearly a hundred years. And Galileo, who support the theory that the Sun is the center of the cosmos, was punished by the Vatican. They were all great thinkers; however, not accepted in the time they were living. But with the development of the society, their contributions are respected by the people nowadays, and they are highly praised by the society.
In sum the society is more and more respected the thinkers, due to the contributions they make, and the important role they play in the society. And in my point of view, the more we emphasize the significance of the thinkers, the faster our society will develop. It is obvious that we will have a bright future if we keep on the trend of considering the opinions of the thinkers more.

圣光UID: 193720

为什么我的文章就没有人来改捏？
连看的人都没有！
5555555555555555~~~
我也帮忙改文章了啊，
斑斑MM的香吻也没有一个~~
积极性都没有了~~

圣光UID: 193720

我再顶一下，睡觉去了。
好心的大牛们，帮忙看看吧，谢谢了！

augustUID: 189758

[我是新手，第一次批改，仅供参考了。
首先，你的开头段没有引述题目，没有很明确地表明自己的观点，我建议用"I strongly agree"或者"I do not agree with ...." 这种句式。
而且开头最好能对body部分有个概括，使读者在第一段就知道你的思路。
其次，结尾应总结，概括全文，有可能的话进一步深化主题。多余的话只会让人觉得累赘。
这是在结构上。建议先列一个提纲，明确是持什么观点（一边倒，部分倾向，还是平衡观点），然后按一定的模式写，不要想到什么写什么，在结构上要给人清晰和一目了然的感觉。
语言上，我觉得你还需要改进，就是读上去是所谓的chinglish的问题，用语不地道，还有就是句式太单一了。有些句子一读就是中国式英语，建议背一些相关的东西。
推荐两本书吧，“北美范文精讲”（即老外的２８０篇），学一下老外的行文思路和谋篇布局。“孙远的工具箱”，背一些段落，既增加可用的例子，也培养语感，写出地道的句子。上述两本在本网站上都有下载。

　我２．２８考，比你还早呢！呵呵］

asparagusUID: 194569

From the删掉the ancient time to now, there are many great thinkers such as Aristotle, Socrates, and Bacon. They are the treasure of the human and our society, who benefit us a lot. Although some of the greatest thinkers were treated unfairunfairly because of some certain reasonswhat reason?, most of them were considered by the whole societyby the whole society 似乎可以去掉因为后边你提到了 development of the society as the fundamental elements of the development of the society, especially contemporarily, due to the fasterfast development of the world, the greatest thinkers are more and more respected by people.

When we were pupils in the schoolin the school不必加了吧, the删掉the teachers told us the names of the greatest thinkers thousands of years ago such as Aristotle.老师不会只说thousands years ago的吧 We learned his words and discoveries then, and built deep impression that he is an excellent giant who should be remembered forever. Withwith? this kind of education...下一句好象要说education坏话了, we have the删the true respect但是却没有说on the greatest thinkers even we know some of their theories are wrong为什么要用even呢,没有转折啊. We admire their ability of creation; we adore their capability of gaining inspiration from the normal things. We are going to transfer this kind of respect to our offspring, and make sure it will move on generation to generation.好象是文革时候说的话 As the component of the society, we, people, respect the greatest thinkers even thousands of years before when we were children, so how can the statement that the society does not take the thinkers seriously be tenable?hoho别对ETS出的题发那么大火,ETS可是改你卷子的

With the development of the/the society, there is more need on the thinkers. Theywho are they? have to find the methods to solve both physical and mental problems that human beings are facinghave problems not face problems. We have to depend on them to keep ourselves survive and flourish on the Earth. We have to rely on them to find answers to our spiritual puzzles. Thus they will be more and more respected, and their importance will be more and more emphasized. We, human beings, are in front of many questions required to solveETS的文风，删 required to solve. And as is commonly known that->as commonly known, it is the thinkers that can ameliorate the situation of the polluted environment; it is the thinkers that can find new alternative fuels汗，思维跳跃也太大了，而且和前一个例子的宏大气魄不相配; it is the thinkers that can make the world better for human to liveeg1 and eg2 包含在 eg3之中了; it is the thinkers that can prevent the society from corrupting刚才不说过polluted environment了吗. With this trend to be considered, we can imagine that thinkers will become the most important part of our society; both contribute most greatly to the society and are respected by people.

However, there were some greatest thinkers who were not respected by the society. But->however they were in some certain circumstance of the society, which were not normal or common删common. Their theories were not accepted by the society, and some of the thinkers were treated unfairly because of their extremely clairvoyant thoughts. It may be becausebecause is not an adj the technology of the society was not that developed, so no one can understand the theory or the dominators at that time had to deny the theory to protect the governing. Mendel and Galileo are the best examples. Mendel found the three laws in genetics; however, his discovery was accepted by the public after he died nearly a hundred years+later. And Galileo, who support the theory that the/the Sunsun is the center of the cosmos, was punished by the Vatican. They were all great thinkers;, however, not accepted in the time they were living. But with the development of the society, their contributions are respected by the people nowadays, and they are highly praised by the society.

In sum the society is more and more respected the thinkers, due to the contributions they make, and the important role they play in the society. And in my point of view, the more we emphasize the significance of the thinkers, the faster our society will develop. It is obvious that we will have a bright future if we keep on the trend of considering the opinions of the thinkers more.

搂主的这篇Issue是不怎么好写，楼主大概看了ETS的这篇范文了吧。范文确实写得很牛，但是如果是我我就不会去用那种体裁，因为需要很厚实的英文功底，其中包括构架文章和遣词造句一流的能力。楼主的语法和词法错误很多，结构也不清晰，觉得还是按部就班来比较好。
另，格式的问题，要末顶格，每段之间空一行，要不段首空8字节。

chenjing71UID: 185785

占个座先
我比你早一天考，现在还没开始写呢。
哎，不说啦，先去酝酿啦

静静发呆UID: 194347

友情支持一下
加油啊