Issue154 第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧

cx831021UID: 173861

------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
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Should both parents and communities be involved in the local schools? Professional educators, parents and communities have their own role in the process of education and can interact with each other, I agree with the speaker's assertion that parents and communities should be involved in the local schools, not only for too importance of education.
It is the function of education to help us become autonomous, creative, inquiring people who have the will and the intelligence to create our own destiny. Then the students who need education is not only in school but also have something to do with family and society, naturally influenced by them.
Firstly, it is professional educators who play vital role in education. Professional educators are good at teaching and accumulate many experiences dealing with students. With proper methods, students can learn enough knowledge from these experts easily. Moreover, the fundamental values can be learned through the learning. And what is more, they know the interests and how to have them learn happily at proper way. With the help of professional educators, knowledge and techniques-valueless treasure of human-can be passed down from one generation to next generation, upon which the modern civilization based.
However, asides from its great achievements, the education mainly dependent on professional educators has some disadvantages including difficulty of special education according to individual's different interests and poor ability in taking care of every student carefully since they often have to deal with many students. So, parents and society are needed to take part in this job. First of all, children are affected mostly by parents with whom they have the most time. Then in the children's cultivation of fundamental value and virtue, parents play a major role. Without good environment in family at youth, people are hard to form correct fundamental values, which may influence his career and life greatly in future. Besides that, when the homework of children is examined periodic and the postcurriculum is supported by parents, children will benefit enormously from that. Because of sensitivity of children to communities, they may easily become bad with imitation to the violence in communities. Obviously, society should restrict those phenomena, which may be not good to the children.
Finally, professional educators, parents and communities can interact with other and are beneficial to the education. Without any of them, education will be effected. For example, parents can communicate with teachers periodically, discussing about the recent situation of their son. If knowing some problems he had, parents and the teacher can try to help him not to deviate from correct way. In the same time, once finding some problems of communities probably related with education, professional educators and parents should give suggestion to communities in order to solve the problem.
In conclusion, all of professional educators, parents and communities are necessary for the education, and can interact with each other. Thus, to gain the goal of good education, the three should work together.

山坡羊UID: 169978

我水平有限，正试着在改，努力中。

山坡羊UID: 169978

------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
------正文------
Should both parents and communities be involved in the local schools?[应该加个considering that什么的，语法不对且读来别扭]Professional educators, parents and communities have their own role[是否该roles] in the process of education and can interact with each other, I agree with the speaker's assertion that parents and communities should be involved in the local schools, not only for[？别扭] too importance[too much importance] of education.
It is the function of education to help us become autonomous, creative, inquiring people who have the will and the intelligence to create our own destiny.[ autonomous, creative, inquiring people who have the will and the intelligence to create our own destiny.这三者并列吗？]  Then the students who need education is not only in school but also have something to do with family and society, naturally influenced by them.[语法有问题]感觉你是想说教育的作用和三方面的东西，但是没说出来，应再表达。
Firstly, it is professional educators who play vital role in education. Professional educators are good at teaching and accumulate many experiences dealing with [deal with?不合适吧]students. [and]With proper methods, students can learn enough[改为much好] knowledge from these experts easily. Moreover, the fundamental values can be learned through the[the 可不要] learning. And what is more, they know the interests and how to have them learn happily at[改为in] proper way. With the help of professional educators, knowledge and techniques-valueless treasure of human-can be passed down from one generation to next generation, [next generation, 改为next]upon which the modern civilization based.
However, asides from its great achievements, the education mainly dependent on professional educators has some disadvantages including difficulty of special education according to individual's different interests and poor ability in taking care of every student carefully since they often have to deal with many students. [语法有问题，第一个its指代与后不符，还有几个问题，自己可以看看]So, parents and society are needed to take part in this job. First of all, children are affected mostly by parents with[？] whom they have the most time. Then in the children's cultivation of fundamental value and virtue, parents play a major role. Without good environment in family at youth, people are hard to form correct fundamental values, which may influence his career and life greatly in future. Besides that,[？] when [改if]the homework of children is examined periodic and the postcurriculum is supported by parents, children will benefit enormously from that. Because of sensitivity of children to communities, they may easily become bad with imitation to the violence in communities. Obviously, society should restrict those phenomena, which may be not good to the children. 感觉你说家庭说了几条，社会的呢？只说了一点，很不够。
Finally, professional educators, parents and communities can interact with other [each other]and are beneficial to the education.[整句语法有问题] Without any of them, education will be effected. For example, parents can communicate with teachers periodically, discussing about the recent situation of their son[children]. If [after]knowing some problems he had, parents and the teacher can try to help him not to deviate from correct way. In the same time, once finding some problems of communities probably related with education, professional educators and parents should give suggestion to communities in order to solve the problem.
In conclusion, all of [？]professional educators, parents and communities are necessary for the education, and can interact with each other. Thus, to gain the goal of good education, the three should work together.

小结：
第一次写，写得基本清楚了，加油！
问题在于：
语法错误太多。你可以耐心的看看。不着急。
表述上，没有很多的推理和例子来阐述充分观点。应该加强论说及例子与论点的逻辑性。
我的水平不高，只希望对你能有点帮助。：）
加油！

cx831021UID: 173861

非常感谢,很有道理