ISSUE 46 限时失败~大家帮我改改吧~一定回改!

layoUID: 169522

ISSUE 46
------题目------
While some leaders in government, sports, industry, and other areas attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition, a society can better prepare its young people for leadership by instilling in them a sense of cooperation.
------正文------

The author asserts that a society could imbue its young people with a sense of cooperation while some leaders attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition. I agree with the author's opinion that cooperation is important ,moreover, my view is, competition and cooperation are tantamount significant in the society.
First of all , in the era of technologies and knowleges explosion and society develop rapidly, cooperation become more and more significant in all areas . For a leader, he should have a sense of cooperation since the knowlege and skills of a person is limited. Cooperate with others could compense the weakness of one person for one person could use the advantage of others , it could handle with more diffilcult problems which could not solve by one person , it also could do job more efficient and effective and make bigger success. Take a instance, nowadays many big company perfer to use a team instead of a leader to manage the whole company, because these big company believe cooperation to manage is more efficient and could make better decision .Thus, future leader must have the ability to cooperate with others, a leader will be replaced by others if he could not cooperate with others in the future . In other words , cooperation is a ability that young people must better prepare for leadership.
Futhermore, a leader should have a sense of competition . First, a competitive leader often has long-term insights and profound perspectives . Take a company leader for an example, a competitive leader always analyse the tendency of market and the perference of consumers , and he will not lose a opportunity to develop new product to cater to the needs of customers. Thus , whether in which area,government ,sport ,industry or others , a competitive leader  have a thorough understanding of situaiton which he faced . Secondly, a competitive leader will compare and contrast his organization with opponents , find the weaknesses of his organization and seek the solution to rectify them . Thus , by doing this ,  a competitive leader improve the perfomance of his organization . For a industry leader, it could  result in the upgrading of  the quaility of product and service  and increasing of the productivity and efficacy.  Instead, a leader with no sense of competition may lead his organzation into the risk of failure . Because the keen competiton of any fields , an organzation will quickly lay behind if it satisfed with its statue quo. in other words , a leader with no willing to go ahead of others is not an aqudate leader.  
Thus , we could see that both cooperation and competiton is indispensable in the leadership. Cooperation and competiton just like the two facet of a coin, cooperation let us gain help and other's knowlege , competiton let us learn much more and improve ourselves to surpass others.  For a leader, he should have the ability to cooperate with other when he need the ability of others , while compete with others to sustain . Thus, if a person willing to become a leader , he must better prepare both of them  for leadership. In other words ,being an adequte leader, competiton and cooperation are both important skills.
In sum , I think both cooperaiton and competition is imporatant in prepare for leadership, we could not say which is take precedence over another, in particular situation, one may take precedence over another, but in general, they play both significant roles in the society .
唉唉~真是郁闷的一篇文~按说竞争和合作是最好写的了~~我超时不说了~还用了一个小时大修改了一番~大家再帮我改改吧~一定回改!谢谢了!

layoUID: 169522

呵呵~自己顶一下了~

鬼谷子UID: 159645

注意发贴格式
请看我的签名档
你可以试着先去改别人的文章，然后把你的文章链接贴上，互相批改一下

chenxgUID: 183868

While some leaders in government, sports, industry, and other areas attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition, a society can better prepare its young people for leadership by instilling in them a sense of cooperation.
------正文------

The author asserts that a society could imbue its young people with a sense of cooperation while some leaders attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition. I agree with the author's opinion that cooperation is important ,moreover, my view is, competition and cooperation are tantamount significant in the society.[首段提出观点很好]

First of all , in the era of technologies and knowledges [knowledge] explosion and society develop rapidly, cooperation become more and more significant in all areas . For a leader, he should have a sense of cooperation since the knowledge and skills of a person is limited. Cooperate with others could compense[compensate] the weakness of one person for[because] one person could use the advantage of others , it could handle with more diffilcult [difficult]problems which could not solve by one person , it also could do job more efficient and effective and make bigger success. Take a instance, nowadays many big company perfer to use a team instead of a leader to manage the whole company, because these big company believe cooperation to manage is more efficient and could make better decision .Thus, future leader must have the ability to cooperate with others, a leader will be replaced by others if he could not cooperate with others in the future . In other words , cooperation is a ability that young people must better prepare for leadership.

Futhermore, a leader should have a sense of competition . First, a competitive leader often has long-term insights and profound perspectives . Take a company leader for an example, a competitive leader always analyse[analyze] the tendency of market and the preference[preference]of consumers , and he will not lose a opportunity to develop new product to cater to the needs of customers. Thus , whether in which area,government ,sport ,industry or others , a competitive leader have a thorough understanding of situaiton which he faced . Secondly, a competitive leader will compare and contrast his organization with opponents , find the weaknesses of his organization and seek the solution to rectify them . Thus , by doing this , a competitive leader improve the perfomance of his organization . For a industry leader, it could result in the upgrading of the quaility of product and service and increasing of the productivity and efficacy. Instead, a leader with no sense of competition may lead his organzation into the risk of failure . Because the keen competiton of any fields , an organzation will quickly lay behind if it satisfed with its statue quo. in other words , a leader with no willing to go ahead of others is not an aqudate leader.
Thus , we could see that both cooperation and competiton is indispensable in the leadership. Cooperation and competiton just like the two facet of a coin, cooperation let us gain help and other's knowlege , competiton let us learn much more and improve ourselves to surpass others. For a leader, he should have the ability to cooperate with other when he need the ability of others , while compete with others to sustain . Thus, if a person willing to become a leader , he must better prepare both of them for leadership. In other words ,being an adequate[adequate] leader,  competiton and cooperation are both important skills.

In sum, I think both cooperaiton and competition is imporatant in prepare for leadership,[I think cooperation and competition are both important in preparing for leadership] we could not say which is take precedence over another, in particular situation, one may take precedence over another, but in general, they play both significant roles in the society .

[拼写错误太多了，论据还行，觉得你应该在语言上应该下功夫了。竞争和合作的关系还是比较容易的]

alinazhUID: 187151

ISSUE 46
------题目------
While some leaders in government, sports, industry, and other areas attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition, a society can better prepare its young people for leadership by instilling in them a sense of cooperation.
------正文------

The author asserts that a society could imbue its young people with a sense of cooperation while some leaders attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition. I agree with the author's opinion that cooperation is important ,moreover, my view is, competition and cooperation are tantamount significant significance in the society. 开头我觉得应该强调一下是作为leader应该具有的能力，否则会让人觉得跑题的。
First of all , in the era of technologies and knowleges knowledge explosion exploding and society developing rapidly, cooperation become more and more significant in all areas . For a leader, he should have a sense of cooperation since the knowledge and skills of a person is are limited(since后面的原因并不是很独特作为leader应该具有的). Cooperate with others could compense compensate the weakness of one person for one person could use the advantage of others , it could handle with more diffilcult problems which could not solve by one person , it also could do job more efficient and effective and make bigger success. Take a instance, nowadays many big company perfers to use a team （跑题了，题目说的是sense of cooperation 而不是这里所说的team ） instead of a leader to manage the whole company, because these big company believe cooperation to manage is more efficient and could make better decision .Thus, future leader must have the ability to cooperate with others, a leader will be replaced by others if he could not cooperate with others in the future . In other words , cooperation is a ability that young people must better prepare for leadership.(我觉得文章应该先直接discuss why the cooperation is still significant for leader’s success, 虽然作者也说了cooperation 的好处，但是这是common advantage rather than special advantage for the leaders, 应该主要强调如果leader具有了sense of cooperation, he can make much success and form more successful government, industry….)
Futhermore furthermore, a leader should have a sense of competition . First, a competitive leader 有歧义often has long-term insights and profound perspectives . Take a company leader for an example, a competitive leader always analyse analyzes the tendency of market and the perference of consumers in order to compete successfully with their partners, their competitors , and he will not lose a opportunity to develop new product to cater to the needs of customers. Thus , whether in which area,government ,sport ,industry or others , a competitive leader have a thorough understanding of situaiton which he faced . Secondly, a competitive leader will compare and contrast his organization with opponents , find the weaknesses of his organization and seek the solution to rectify them . Thus , by doing this , a competitive leader improve the perfomance of his organization . For a industry leader, it could result in the upgrading of the quaility of product and service and increasing of the productivity and efficacy. Instead, a leader with no sense of competition may lead his organzation into the risk of failure . Because the keen competiton of any fields , an organzation will quickly lay behind if it satisfed with its statue quo. in other words , a leader with no willing to go ahead of others is not an aqudate leader.
Thus , we could see that both cooperation and competiton is indispensable in the leadership. Cooperation and competiton just like the two facet of a coin, cooperation let us gain help and other's knowlege , competiton let us learn much more and improve ourselves to surpass others. For a leader, he should have the ability to cooperate with other when he need the ability of others , while compete with others to sustain . Thus, if a person willing to become a leader , he must better prepare both of them for leadership. In other words ,being an adequte leader, competiton and cooperation are both important skills.
In sum , I think both cooperaiton and competition is imporatant in prepare for leadership, we could not say which is take precedence over another, in particular situation, one may take precedence over another, but in general, they play both significant roles in the society .
我认为这片文章强调的是leader in a group, 我们就应该先discuss， as leader 他的任务和责任是什么， 怎样社会才能肯定这个leader is successful,并且是通过什么来作的这个评价的，当然这只是文章中应该占有的一小部分， 最主要的我认为应该是为什么competition and cooperation 在leader’s success上都具有重要的作用，它们是怎样发挥的作用以至leader finally succeed. 但是作者只是通篇着重写了它们的普通的到处，而没有特定于leader 来写。  

我的两个连接大家互相批改一下吧：
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=250305；  https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=250304

。

晨曦UID: 177893

如果没人看，试试看多改两篇别人的，既是借鉴学习，也是熟悉人口，才能有人来帮你呢。

作文论坛强调的是互动，而不是义务啦。认真就会有进步哦，不管是改别人的还是写自己的

偶是局外人，说这个话可能方便些。勿见怪。错了算我的。

PS:可以利用页面下方的工具条来找 0回复 的文章的 —— 按照 “回复数量” 以 “降序” 排列......

BTW，楼主回拍了谁了？