ISSUE 130 儿童的社会化问题,换了个超简的思路,（都会碰到的问题）大家评定, 必回

jaojieUID: 195494

:eek:
大致思路就是肯定第一个，然后否定第二个。从正反面说一下影响，然后列举事实否定第二个。
前两天虽然限时了字数也多，但总感觉没说清楚，今天变简单清晰些，而且还超时了一会儿，但不知道这样是不时好点？
大家指点。
想互相修改的请将作文的链接挂后：）
Issue130: 442 words  45 minutes
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

In this statement, the speaker made two problematic acclaims that the extent of  children's socialization determines the society's destiny and this socialization is not successful today as it does not make a better society. As far as I am concerned , I concede the former one though it is a little overstated using “determine” ,  but I can not agree with the second acclaim  .

To begin with, how well are children socialized can has beneficial impact on the society  to some extent. One of a famous  educator said, "socialization is the process by  people, especially the children, learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment ." Children through socialization grasp some informal rules for each setting, for instance, they can calibrate their behavior for the expectations of others in certain settings ,like at home and in classrooms. They learn social skills like tolerance, acceptance, respect for others and cooperation when they are engaged in social affairs with peers in community. They can also manage to understand others thus easily  get along well with others. All of these social skills are a positive force  for a society.

Also, the children failed to socialized well may do harm to society.  For example, because they have not learned to conform certain principles ,they may violate regulations or do some thing inappropriate that may be influence others. They may be aggressive not considering others so are rejected by some groups .They are likely to  regard some social encounters as hostility and then become a little radical towards the society, These children may not influence society positively. Even, sometimes they may be a potential threat to harm the society more or less as partisans.

As for the second claim, I think some evidence can demonstrate that the well socialization can bring us a better society.  The worldwide war has not occurred for nearly half a century as human-beings learn to solve conflicts by cooperation and compromising from socialization, though  some small regional combat broke occasionally . Again, the discrimination for the  blacks  has been largely diminished when people learn to understand others and show respect to others, despite a few unequal rules classify the black  and white still exist. In addition, people become more aware of others by endowing money to the poor and founded some charity to help those ones. From these aspects we can hardly say that our society is worse by socialization.

In sum, I agree that well socialization process of children play an important part of the progress of society, though can not use “determine”. However, I strongly disagree with  the idea that our society has not become better through socialization.

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

In this statement, the speaker made two problematic acclaims that the extent of children's socialization determines the society's destiny and this socialization is not successful today as it does not make a better society. As far as I am concerned , I concede the former one though it is a little overstated using “determine” , but I can not agree with the second acclaim .

To begin with, how well are children socialized can has beneficial impact on the society to some extent. One of a 去掉famous educators said, "socialization is the process by people, especially the children, learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment ." Children through socialization grasp some informal rules for each setting, for instance, they can calibrate their behavior for the expectations? of others in certain settings ,like at home and in classrooms. They learn social skills like tolerance, acceptance, respect for others and cooperation when they are engaged in social affairs with peers in community. They can also manage to understand others thus easily get along well with others. All of these social skills are a positive force for a society.

Also?, the children failed to socialized well may do harm to society. For example, because they have not learned to conform certain principles ,they may violate regulations or do some thing inappropriate that may be influence others. They may be aggressive not considering others so are rejected by some groups这一句问题很多 .They are likely to regard some social encounters as hostility and then become a little radical towards the society, These children may not是一定吧？ influence society positively. Even, sometimes they may be a potential threat to harm the society more or less as partisans.

As for the second claim, I think some evidence can demonstrate that the well socialization can bring us a better society. The worldwide war has not occurred for nearly half a century as human-beings learn to solve conflicts by cooperation and compromising from socialization, though some small regional combat broke occasionally . Again, the discrimination for the blacks has been largely diminished when people learn to understand others and show respect to others, despite a few unequal rules classify the black and white still exist. In addition, people become more aware of others by endowing money to the poor and founded some charity to help those ones. From these aspects we can hardly say that our society is worse by socialization.题目第二论点是这吗？是我们不知道怎样抚养使孩子对社会有用吧？

In sum, I agree that well socialization process of children play an important part of the progress of society, though can not use “determine”. However, I strongly disagree with the idea that our society has not become better through socialization.
感觉第一个论点还好，只是第二个有点问题， 还有语言上需要加强，个人建议，仅供参考

will_foreverUID: 193568

Issue130: 442 words 45 minutes
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

In this statement, the speaker made two problematic acclaims that the extent of children's socialization determines the society's destiny and this socialization is not successful today as it does not make a better society??自己的论断吧，题目中根本就没说socialization不成功是因为不能造就一个better society. As far as I am concerned, I concede the former one though it is a little overstated using “determine” , but I can not agree with the second claim.

To begin with, how well children are socialized can has beneficial impact on the society to some extent. One of a famous educator said, "socialization is the process by people, especially the children,to learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment ." Children through socialization grasp some informal rules for each setting能这样用吗？, for instance, they can calibrate their behavior for the expectations of others in certain settings, like at home and in classrooms. They learn social skills like tolerance, acceptance, respect for others and cooperation when they are engaged in social affairs with peers in community. They can also manage to understand others thus easily get along well with others. All of these social skills are a positive force for a society.

Also, the children failed to socialized well不要 may do harm to society. For example, because they have not learned to conform to certain principles, they may violate regulations or do some things inappropriate that may be harmful to others. They may be too aggressive without considering others to be rejected by some groups.They are likely to regard some social encounters as hostility and then become a little radical towards the society, These children may not influence society positively. Even, sometimes they may be a potential threat to harm the society more or less as partisans?.

你在第一段及B1的ts中说是to some extent上对社会有好处的，但在你的B2中说到了不这样的坏处，那么，你是不是还应该说清楚socialization对社会没有好处的方面，否则我就建议你要改改你的观点了！

As for the second claim, I think太主观臆断了 some evidences can demonstrate that the不要 well socialization can bring us a better society. The worldwide war has not occurred for nearly half a century as human-beings learn to solve conflicts by cooperation and compromising from socialization, though some small regional combat broke occasionally. Again, the discrimination for the blacks has been largely diminished when people learn to understand others and show respect to others, despite a few unequal rules classifying the black and white still exist. In addition, people become more aware of others by endowing money to the poor and founding some charities to help those onesthem. From these aspects we can hardly say that our society is worse by socialization这个结论怎么可以这样下，应该说很好很好，怎么可以说只是不差拉，程度上差太多了！.

现在你全篇都在写socialization对社会的好处，那topic中的第二句话呢？你怎么没写呀？我门是否已经learn了呢，还是没有？你这一段说是as for the second claim, 我看还是对第一句话来说嘛

In sum, I agree that well socialization process不要 of children play an important part of the progress of society, though can not use “determine”. However, I strongly disagree with the idea that our society has not become better through socialization.

jaojieUID: 195494

setting 可以这样用, 我在文章中看到的, 非常感谢:)
三楼的每天再看吧,先占一个.