issue38,,3月机经题。请大家多批评，还有5天考试了，绝望。。。。

hardbeaverUID: 197443

word已检查过。

Issue38  第9篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分16秒     384 words
从2005年2月5日18时54分到2005年2月5日19时44分
------题目------
In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books.
------正文------
With the rapid development of technology, television has been much ordinary now, and it becomes a major source of information. Then some people claim that television can replace the book to provide people enough information. As far as I am concerned, television indeed plays an important role in transmitting information, yet it can not take place of books.

To begin with, television can give people information in a more efficient way by using its advanced technology. We know, books use abstract words to describe subjects, which demands us to possess enough knowledge and then we can read them. But television has no such limits. Television provides people with vivid pictures and videos. which can be understand by all people. In addition, in this imaginative way, television arise people's interesting learn new knowledge and information. For example, a program of traveling provides pictures and videos, you will see the perspectives just as you are there, you can see the mountains, rivers, buildings colorfully in television, so you can get a direct impression from television, which in books you only know how it likes from abstract words. In this way, television does have its advantages to books.

However, book has its own function and plays an unparalleled role in some fields. Books, with comparable abstractive words, can be used to record complex and vast information, such as profound thesis, academic research data and the like. For example, Einstein's theory of relativity can be recorded in books and showed to people, but how could television do these things? Furthermore, television cannot record everything which books can do, take history for example. We can learn the lives of the ancient people and the things happened in the past by reading books, because these can be written down in words, but we cannot know these thing in television for it is not able to keep the ancient records. From discussion above, we can see that book has its particular advantages which television does not.

To draw the conclusion, we should see that book and television are both tools by which we can learn information and broaden our kens. For both have their own merits and flaws, one cannot replace the other. What we should do is making use of their advantages in order to serve people well.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252784
互改一下吧

medwinUID: 189909

With the rapid development of technology, television has been much ordinary now, and it becomes a major source of information. Then some people claim that television can replace the book（改为books，去掉the） to provide people enough information. As far as I am concerned, television indeed plays an important role in transmitting information, yet it can not take place of books.

To begin with, television can give people information in a more efficient way by using its advanced technology. We know, books use abstract words to describe subjects, which demands us to possess enough knowledge and then we can read them. But television has no such limits. Television provides people with vivid pictures and videos. which can be understand by all people. （觉得这一点太绝对了，比如历史剧，如果没有点文言文常识和历史知识，并不见得人人都可以看得懂，应该说电视相对书本好懂一些）In addition, in this imaginative way, television arise people's interesting（改为interest to） learn new knowledge and information. For example, a program of traveling provides pictures and videos, （用分号）you will see the perspectives just as you are there, （用分号）you can see the mountains, rivers, buildings colorfully in television, so you can get a direct impression from television, which（改为while） in books you only know how it likes（应该是looks吧） from abstract words. In this way, television does have its advantages to（应该是over吧） books.

However, book has its（不妨用books have their） own function and plays an unparalleled role in some fields. Books, with comparable abstractive words, can be used to record complex and vast information, such as （加the）profound thesis, （加the）academic research data and the like. For example, Einstein's theory of relativity can be recorded in books and showed to people, but how could television do these things? Furthermore, television cannot record everything which books can do, take history for example. We can learn the lives of the ancient people and the things happened in the past by reading books, because these can be written down in words, but we cannot know these thing in television for it is not able to keep the ancient records. From （加the）discussion above, we can see that book has its particular advantages which television does not.（这一段从Furthermore前后来看，说的是一个事，即，有的东西电视不好记录而书本很方便就可以记录，并没有递进的关系。如果Furthermore仅仅用来连接前后两个例子——相对论和原始人，那么还说得过去）

To draw the conclusion, we should see that book and television are both tools by which we can learn information and broaden our kens. For both have their own merits and flaws, one cannot replace the other. What we should do is making use of their advantages in order to serve people well.

总的来说，本文中心是电视和书本同等重要，电视不可取代书本，不过第一段最后一句的论点没有提及书本的重要，不妨加一句。B1可以再加些例子，比如现在中学里也很多引入电视教育，来弥补传统教育的不足。还有一点，一般写这样的平衡观点，最好再加一个body，论述两者平衡的重要，或者两者相结合的重要，光看电视不读书不行，光读书不看电视也不行，两者不可偏废，这样就能更好的支持平衡论点。

hardbeaverUID: 197443

谢谢3楼，说得很对，我再仔细消化一下，一会把你的文章贴回去。2楼的也一样。

autumnstar022UID: 156619

With the rapid development of technology, television has been much ordinary now, and it 可以不要itbecomes a major source of information. Then some people claim that television can replace the book to provide people 加个withenough information. As far as I am concerned, television indeed plays an important role in transmitting information, yet it can not take place of books.

To begin with, television can give people information in a more efficient way by using its advanced technology. We know As we know, books use abstract words to describe subjects, which demands us to possess enough knowledge and then we can read them. But television has no such limits. Television provides people with vivid pictures and videos感觉可以用audios and videos比较对应. which can be understandunderstood by all people. In addition, in this imaginative way, television arisearises people's interesting learnpeople’s interest in learing new knowledge and information. For example, a program of traveling provides pictures and videos同上, you will see the perspectives just as you are there, you can see the mountains, rivers, buildings colorfully in television, so you can get a direct impression from television, which in books you only know how it likes from abstract words. In this way, television does have its advantages toover books. 观点：电视优于书在于它的直观生动，不过感觉你首先就将book 说成abstract words 有点牵强，因为书也可以生动描写啊， 可以抓住电视感官方面的优势写

However, book has its books have their own function and plays an unparalleled role in some fields. Books, with comparable abstractive words, can be used to record complex and vast information, such as profound thesis, academic research data and the like. For example, Einstein's theory of relativity can be recorded in books and showed to people, but how could television do these things? Furthermore, television cannot record everything which books can dothat books can, take另起一句Take history for example. We can learn the lives of the ancient people and the things happened in the past by reading books, because these can be written down in words, but we cannot know these things in television for it is not ableimpossible to keep the ancient records. From discussion discussions above, we can see that book has its particular advantages which television does not.

To draw the conclusion, we should see that book and television are both tools by which we can learn information and broaden our kens. For both have their own merits and flaws, one cannot replace the otherwe cannot simply replace one with the other. What we should do is making use of their advantages in order to serve people well.
论述很流畅，句式变化也不错。就是感觉字数有点少，呵呵可以改成经典5段时，在第三段之后再加一段说明电视和书都重要，需要利用他们的优点，最后在总结

hardbeaverUID: 197443

Issue38 第9篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：44分16秒 384 words
从2005年2月5日18时54分到2005年2月5日19时44分
------题目------
In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books.
------正文------
With the rapid development of technology, television has been much ordinary now, and becomes a major source of information. Then some people claim that television can replace the book to provide people with enough information. As far as I am concerned, television indeed plays an important role in transmitting information, yet it cannot take place of books.

To begin with, television can give people information in a more efficient way by using its advanced technology. As we know, books use comparable abstract words to describe subjects, which demands us to possess enough knowledge and then we can read them. But television has no such limits. Television provides people with vivid audios and videos. which can be understood by most people. In addition, in this visual way, television arises people's interesting in learning new knowledge and information and broaden their kens. For example, a program about tourism provides us audios and videos, the vivid pictures and sound make you are personally on the scene, you can see the mountains, rivers or buildings colorfully in television, from which you can get a direct impression, these information you would only know how it looks like from comparable abstract words in books. In this way, television does have its advantages over books.

However, books have their own function and play an unparalleled role in some fields. Books, with their refined words, can be used to record complex and vast information, such as profound thesis, academic research data and the like. For example, Einstein's theory of relativity can be recorded in books and showed to people, but how could television do these things? Furthermore, television cannot record the things long ago (the time before television was invented), which books can do. Take history for example. We can learn the lives of the ancient people and the things happened in the past by reading books, because these can be written down in books, but we cannot know these things in television for it is not able to keep the ancient records. From discussion above, we can see that book has its particular advantages which television does not have.

Finally, we should see that both books and television are just tools by which we can learn information and broaden our kens. Both have their own merits, for books can record abstract and vast information, such as theories, data and the like, also it can keep a comparable long history of the society and human beings. On the contrary, television uses its vivid audios and videos to serve to arise people’s interesting and help people learn more effectively. We can see both books and television are dispensable in the process of learning and we cannot simply replace one with the other.

To draw the conclusion, both books and television make contribution to the process of learning respectively, what we should do is to combine their advantages in order to serve people and society well.

yogurt4UID: 198389

In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books.
------正文------
With the rapid development of technology, television has been much ordinary now, and becomes which is becoming a major source of information. Then some people claim that television can replace the book booksto provide people with enough information. As far as I am concerned, television indeed plays an important role in transmitting information, yet it cannot take place of books.

To begin with, television can give people information in a more efficient way by using its advanced technology. As we know, books use comparable comparatively,comparable是可比较的,适合相比的意思abstract words to describe subjects, which demands us to possess enough knowledge and then we can read them. and后面的句子不可以和which后面的内容并列,可改为knowledge to read them But television has no such limits. Television 前面用了television,这里就用they好了 provides people with vivid audios and videos. which can be understood by most people. In addition, in this visual way, television arises people's interesting interestsin learning new knowledge and information and broaden broadentheir kens. For example, a program about tourism provides us audios and videos, the vivid pictures and sound sounds that make you feel you are ... make you are personally on the scene,另起一个句子吧,不要把后头的只用逗号隔开 you can see the mountains, rivers or buildings colorfully in on television, from which you can get a direct impression, these information you would only know how it looks like from comparable abstract words in books. In this way, television does have its advantages over books.你这一段的前部分是想说只有认识字或具备某种知识的人才看的懂书吧,posses enough knowledge 那句要说清楚一点

However, books have their own function优点是不是好一点,改成merits就不错 and play an unparalleled role in some fields. Books, with their refined words, can be used to record complex and vast information, such as profound thesis, academic research data and the like. For example, Einstein's theory of relativity Einstein's Theory of Relativity can be recorded in books and showed to people, but how could television do these things? Furthermore, television cannot record the things that happenedlong ago (the time before television was invented), which while books can do. Take history 更准确的说是history researchfor example. We can learn the lives of the ancient people and the things happened in the past by reading books, because these can be written down in books, but we cannot know these things in television for it is not able to keep the ancient records. From discussion above, we can see that book has its particular advantages which television does not have.over television
这一段写的比上一段好,句子的表达清晰很多

Finally,这一段和前面又不是顺承的,怎么是finally we should see know that both books and television are just tools by which we can learn information and broaden our kens. Both have their own merits, for books can record abstract and vast information, such as theories, data and the like, also it can keep a comparable long history of the society and human beings. On the contrary, television uses its vivid audios and videos to serve to arise people’s interesting and help people learn more effectively. We can see both books and television are dispensable in the process of learning and we cannot simply replace one with the other.

To draw the conclusion, both books and television make contribution to the process of learning respectively, what we should do is to combine their advantages in order to serve people and society well.
结构还是很好滴,额建议你朝句子的衔接方向努力,即使是两三天,虽然不会有什么本质上的改变,但还是会有决定性的改变嘛,加油罗

ilmfampUID: 188503

Heren Keller只渴望有three days to see. 你有5天呢，所以要对自己有信心。5天时间可能不会在写作能力上有本质的提到，但是在文章的切入点上我认为还是可以进步一些的，such as怎么样紧扣题目，怎么样使自己的观点无懈可击等等。拿你这篇文章来说，我觉得论点的选择上似乎不够深刻，题目是说"　people can learn as much ..." 我想learn与获得信息不完全是同一个概念吧。

加油哦！调整心态，最自己要有信心哦！

With the rapid development of technology, television has been much ordinary now, and becomes a major source of information注意并列结够地用法. Then some people claim that television can replace the book to provide people with enough information. As far as I am concerned, television indeed plays an important role in transmitting information, yet it cannot take place of bookstake the place of.

To begin with, television can give peoplegive->transmit,give我觉得不太恰当 information in a more efficient way by using its advanced technology. As we know, books use comparable abstract words to describe subjects, which demands us to possess enough knowledge and then we can read them. But television has no such limits. Television provides people with vivid audios and videos. which can be understood by most people. In addition, in this visual way, television arises people's interesting in learning new knowledge and information and broaden their kens. For example, a program about tourism provides us audios and videos, the vivid pictures and sound make you are personally on the scene, you can see the mountains, rivers or buildings colorfully in television, from which you can get a direct impression, these information you would only know how it looks like from comparable abstract words in books这句结构有问题. In this way, television does have its advantages over books.这一段两者之间的比较没有下一段充分


However, books have their own function and play an unparalleled role in some fields. Books, with their refined words, can be used to record complex and vast information, such as profound thesis, academic research data and the like. For example, Einstein's theory of relativity can be recorded in books and showed to people, but how could television do these things? Furthermore, television cannot record the things long ago (the time before television was invented), which books can do. Take history for example. We can learn the lives of the ancient people and the things happened in the past by reading books, because these can be written down in books, but we cannot know these things in television for it is not able to keep the ancient records. From discussion above, we can see that bookbooks，同一段中注意名词的数 has its particular advantages which television does not have.

Finally, we should see that both books and television are just tools by which we can learn information and broaden our kens. Both have their own merits, for books can record abstract and vast information, such as theories, data and the like, also it can keep a comparable long history of the society and human beings. On the contrary, television uses its vivid audios and videos to serve to arise people’s interesting and help people learn more effectively. We can see both books and television are dispensable in the process of learning and we cannot simply replace one with the other.

To draw the conclusion, both books and television make contribution to the process of learning respectively, what we should do is to combine their advantages in order to serve people and society well.
最后两段是不是可以合并成一段