issue50自己修改过,考虑后,请大家拍砖,必会砖

kkytUID: 188814

Issue50
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.
50. "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they
teach."
为了改善大学的教学质量，所有的教员都应该被要求花一定时间到学术领域以外去参加和他们所教科目相关的工作。
------正文------
Nowadays, there is a hot controversial problem concerning on whether teachers should be encouraged to spend time working outside the academic world in profession relevant to the courses they teach in school. Different people have different ideas. In my idea I fundamentally agree with the speakers' assertion that it is essential for the college to require their faculty to go out campus and do some work relevant to their teaching. But the negative effect of overemphasizing should not be neglected.  .

To begin with, it is beneficial for the teachers to combine knowledge with practice and make their classes living. The faulty always give their students some cases to study so as to help them to make further understanding of theory and cultivate their ability of how to manage the real problem that they will meet in their future working. For example, as far as chemistry is concerned, when it comes to the study of certain instrument, the students can hardly understand what the structure and how to use in practice, regardless of how well the teacher described by the book, nevertheless, if the teacher had used this kind of instrument, he would tell us how to operate in actual work and what misconducts the students should avoid. By the teachers’ vivid introduction, the students would grasp both the principle and the operation about this instrument.

Secondly, the teachers who take times to work outside the academic world will bring fresh information and new technology from work experiences to their students. In the era of knowledge economy, with the rapid update of knowledge, no text book can include all the latest information. In fact, a lot of technology in our text books has been outdated and has already not been used in actual work. Thus, the working experience relevant to the academic field will lead their instruction to a practical direction. Also take the teaching of chemistry as example, teachers who are working in a chemistry company will instruct the students some of new technology about the preparation of regents which the students can not learn from books. It is obvious that the fresh knowledge is the integral supplement of what students’ learning and will benefit for their future work.

However, there may be some negative effect on the quality of education if it is overstated. As a teacher, its duty serves as teaching and nurturing students not working outside. On the one hand, it will inevitably take faculty a lot of time and energy to work outside the academic world which probably results in that some faculty can not keep the same quality of instruction level as before, not alone enhance it. On the other hand, in some area, working outside the academic field will be more profitable than just being a faculty in the school which will lead the teachers to give up their academic in college and to pursue the professions outside.

In sum up, just as an old saying said that everything has two sides. Only when the teachers can handle the relationship well between their working and academic affairs, the working experience will act as positive effect on the quality of instruction level at college and university.

staralwaysUID: 193479

Nowadays, there is a hot controversial problem concerning on[查了下金山词霸，只有concern about的词组] whether teachers should be encouraged to spend time working outside the academic world in profession relevant to the courses they teach in school. [这里直接复述了。我晚上发的文章里victoriazhizhi说建议不要restate，也去看看G帽的帖子吧，大家一同学习]Different people have different ideas. In my idea[in my opinion，我觉得改成To me之类感觉更好一点] I fundamentally agree with the speakers' assertion that it is essential for the college to require their faculty to go out campus and do some work relevant to their teaching. [这里感觉有点冗余，开头差不多两次复述了题目里的内容，可以考虑下改成一次。就像后面紧接的那句，比较紧凑]But the negative effect of overemphasizing should not be neglected. .

To begin with, it is beneficial for the teachers to combine knowledge with practice and make their classes living[alive]. The faulty always give their students some cases to study so as to help them to make further understanding of theory and cultivate their ability of[记得是ability to，capable of] how to manage the real problem that they will meet in their future working. For example, as far as chemistry is concerned, when it comes to the study of certain instrument, the students can hardly understand what the structure [is]and how to use[it] in practice, regardless of how well the teacher described by the book, nevertheless, if the teacher had used this kind of instrument, he would tell us how to operate in actual work and what misconducts the students should avoid. [这句话读不大通顺]By the teachers’ vivid introduction, the students would grasp both the principle and the operation about this instrument.

Secondly, the teachers who take times to work outside the academic world will bring fresh information and new technology from work experiences to their students. In the era of knowledge economy[呵呵，知识经济，21世纪很重要的东东，这一部分的叙述很流畅], with the rapid update of knowledge, no text book can include all the latest information. In fact, a lot of technology in our text books has been outdated and has already not been used in actual work. Thus, the working experience relevant to the academic field will lead their instruction to a practical direction. Also take the teaching of chemistry as example, teachers who are working in a chemistry company will instruct the students some of new technology about the preparation of regents[董事？还是有化学方面的专业解释？我看不懂，555][刚才看到这个词了，应该是：reagent试剂（导致化学反应），对吧？] which the students can not learn from books. It is obvious that the fresh knowledge is the integral supplement of what students’ learning and will benefit for their future work.

However, there may be some negative effect on the quality of education if it is overstated. As a teacher, its duty serves as teaching and nurturing students not working outside. On the one hand, it will inevitably take faculty a lot of time and energy to work outside the academic world which probably results in that some faculty can not keep the same quality of instruction level as before, not alone[let alone] enhance it. On the other hand, in some area, working outside the academic field will be more profitable than just being a faculty in the school which will lead the teachers to give up their academic in college and to pursue the professions outside.[这里的两个问题讲的很到位！不过句式上感觉并不是一个事物的两方面，可以考虑用一些递进之类的]

In sum up, just as an old saying said that everything has two sides.[前面用了just as，后面应该连着一句话，而不是直接就一个句号结尾了，我感觉] Only when the teachers can handle the relationship well between their working and academic affairs, the working experience will act as positive effect on the quality of instruction level at college and university.[结尾比较精练]

文章总体上的把握肯定是没问题，body的两个部分也说的比较到位。不过小地方的粗心好象多了点呢。比我看你的第一篇文章好多了，继续加油，大家一起进步啊！

runnerioUID: 152251

Issue50
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.
50. "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they
teach."
为了改善大学的教学质量，所有的教员都应该被要求花一定时间到学术领域以外去参加和他们所教科目相关的工作。
------正文------
Nowadays, there is a hot controversial problem concerning on(delete on)whether teachers should be encouraged to spend time working outside the academic world in profession relevant to the courses they teach in school. Different people have different ideas.(This has become a cliché) In my idea I fundamentally agree with the speakers' assertion that it is essential for the college to require their faculty to go out campus and do some work relevant to their teaching. But the negative effect of overemphasizing should not be neglected. .

(You made a good beginning with clear position presented. But the sentences are somewhat complicated and the repetition is obvious.)

To begin with, it is beneficial for the teachers to combine knowledge with practice and make their classes living. The faulty always give their students some cases to study so as to help them to make further understanding of theory and cultivate their ability of how to manage the real problem (delete “of how”) that they will meet in their future working. For example, as far as chemistry is concerned, (repetition) when it comes to the study of certain instrument, the students can hardly understand what the structure and how to use in practice, regardless of how well the teacher described by the book, nevertheless, if the teacher had used this kind of instrument, he would tell us how to operate in actual work and what misconducts the students should avoid. By the teachers’ vivid introduction, the students would grasp both the principle and the operation about this instrument.

(well-chosen example and good demonstration.J)

Secondly, the teachers who take times to work outside the academic world will bring fresh information and new technology from work experiences to their students. In the era of knowledge (delete knowledge) economy, with the rapid update of knowledge, no text book can include all the latest information (too absolute). In fact, a lot of technology in our textbooks has been outdated and has already not been used in actual work. Thus, the working experience relevant to the academic field will lead their instruction to a practical direction. Also take the teaching of chemistry as example, teachers who are working in a chemistry company will instruct the students some of new technology about the preparation of regents which the students can not (cannot) learn from books. It is obvious that the fresh knowledge is the integral supplement of what students’ learning and will benefit for their future work.

(well-chosen example and good demonstration.J)

However, there may be some negative effect on the quality of education if it (vague pronoun here) is overstated. As a teacher, its duty serves as teaching and nurturing students not working outside. On the one hand, it will inevitably take faculty a lot of time and energy to work outside the academic world which probably results in that some faculty can not keep the same quality of instruction level as before, not alone enhance it. (You can consider change the subordinate clause to nominal structure, which can make the sentence more succinct. For example, which probably leads to the decline of teaching quality) On the other hand, in some area, working outside the academic field will be more profitable than just being a faculty in the school which will lead the teachers to give up their academic in college and to pursue the professions outside.(“on the one hand “and “on the other hand “have a kind of transition in meaning following them, I think they are improper here)

(The demonstration is very clear, but pay attention to your connecting word.)

In sum up(false expression, in sum, or to summarize), just as an old saying said that everything has two sides.(cliché still, you may have to eliminate such sentences from your composition) Only when the teachers can handle the relationship well between their working and academic affairs,(well, it is better to change as the following, only when the teachers handle the relationship well between their working and academic affairs will the working experience act ,,,,,,,,) the working experience will act as positive effect on the quality of instruction level at college and university.

Generally speaking, it is a good essay. I also learn much from your composition. I only want to point out that maybe you should take sentence practice to make your sentence more beautiful.J)

I'm sorry, I don't know how to use the color-change software, so my connotation seems somewhat  unclear. hehe ,also welcome you to give my composition some suggestion: https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=252738

kkytUID: 188814

谢谢二位的宝贵意见，偶一定仔细研究，马上实现诺言