Issue36同主题写作，欢迎赐教！

onlyxiaobaiUID: 198198

36.The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Structure of this composition:
1.        Position: Agree with this issue topic.
2.        The person’s contribution is too farsighted to be fathomable by his contemporaries.
3.        There are situations in which a person cannot be fairly assessed due to political reasons.
4.        The greatness of individuals might be derogated by their contemporaries.
5.        Quoting an old Chinese proverb.
6.        How can we better evaluate the greatness of our contemporaries.


Time and time again, we have found out that assessments and evaluations made by the contemporaries of those great people are often not correct. They may have over-evaluated their achievements and influences, or have under-evaluated the importance of their deeds or their accomplishments. As a result, I agree that the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

First, we human have been taught by history that sometimes an individual's contribution to our society has to wait for a long time after his death to has itself understood and appreciated by the large general public, because at that particular time, the person's achievements was too farsighted to be fathomable to his contemporaries. The greatest reformer, Wang anshi, serves as a typical example. He implemented lots of policies in Song Dynasty almost 500 years ago, which was designated to improve the economic situation and solve the high unemployment rate in China at that time. One of his policies was to rebuild the dike on the Yangzi river where flood frequently damaged the adjacent fields. Many objected this proposal. They argued that the dike had been newly refurbished and there was no need to rebuild it. Wang said," I know this. But there is another purpose, which is to provide job opportunities to those peasant along the river and help them to recover from the stagnancy of economy." However, because of fierce objection, this policy had finally been aborted. Now, when we look back to his proposal and his insightful thinking, we must pay our tribute to him, who discovered the same vital macroeconomic problem which helped Keynes to establish a whole new economics branch in the 20th century.

And history also tells us that if the greatness of individuals is left to be assessed by those who live after them, then those individuals will be judged fairly and without any prejudices and preferences. Such as political leaders in communist countries, where people are enticed or forced by the incumbent political party to venerate the leader who is being depicted without even a single flaw and as perfect as God, and are punished or even jailed if they criticize the "Almighty" leader. How can the leader, no matter how great his contribution is to the society, be fairly judged by those contemporaries whose personal security will be threatened if they do so? In China, the unprejudiced and fair assessment of Chairman Mao is coming to our views only recently, when he has deceased almost 20 years.

There are also times when the greatness of individuals have been seriously undermined or derogated by their contemporaries. As in 1950's, the most esteemed demographist Ma yanchu of China, who had discovered the potential negative effects of rapid population growth in China and addressed it to the general public, did not receive the comments and supports which he deserved, and was persecuted to death by political gangs because of his discovery. Only when he has been dead for 10 years, sociologists and politicians began to realize that what he had foreseen was actually happening in China.

And now, let me use an old saying in China to consolidate my perspective: " Only history can be fair", which means that only those who live after you can give you a fair assessment.

However, sometimes we do not have to or cannot wait for a great contribution of an individual to be left undiscovered or half-acknowledge because of its vital importance for our development. So we must design a mechanism which encourage people to comment on their contemporaries freely, which means we need a democratic society where people are free to present their views and comments on anything anybody save that they respect the same right of other people and keep those comments from personal accusation. Thus, in order to let the greatness of individuals be quickly recognized and disseminated to foster the development of our science, humanity and society, we must commit ourselves to build a democratic state.



601字。51分钟，有比较多的拼写错误。

chenh1207UID: 182826

36. onlyxiaobai
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

Structure of this composition:
1. Position: Agree with this issue topic.
2. The person’s contribution is too farsighted to be fathomable by his contemporaries.
3. There are situations in which a person cannot be fairly assessed due to political reasons.
4. The greatness of individuals might be derogated by their contemporaries.
5. Quoting an old Chinese proverb.
6. How can we better evaluate the greatness of our contemporaries.
在这么短的时间里，写得这么有深度，可以想象你得实力！

Time and time again, we have found out that assessments and evaluations, made by the contemporaries, of those great people are often not correct. They指代不清 may have over-evaluated their同上 achievements and influences, or have under-evaluatedunder-estimated the importance of their deeds or their accomplishments. As a result, I agree that the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
我想问一下：你的开头有过分高估和低估，但后文好像并没有提及
First, we humanbeings have been taught by history that sometimes an individual's contribution to our society has to wait for a long time after his death to hashave itselfhimself been understood and appreciated by the large general public换成the masses怎么样？, because at that particular timeperiod, the person's achievements waswere too farsighted to be fathomable to his contemporaries. The greatest reformer, Wang anshi, serves as a typical example. He implemented后文不是说有点未得以实行吗，所以用introduce比较好 lots of policies in Song Dynasty almost 500 years ago, which waswere designated to improve the economic situation and solveresolve the high unemployment rate in China at that time. One of his policies was to rebuild the dike on the Yangzi river where floods frequently damaged the adjacent fields. Many objected this proposal. They argued that the dike had been newly refurbished andso there was no need to rebuild it. Wang said," I know this. But there is another purpose, which is to provide job opportunities to those peasants along the river and help them to recover from the stagnancy of economy." However, because of fierce objection, this policy had finally been aborted. 这个例子很生动，我计下来！Now, when we look back to his proposal and his insightful thinking, we must pay our tributes to him, who discovered the same vital macroeconomic problem which helped Keynes to establish a whole new economics branch in the 20th century.这里我觉得，应该再说明正是因为伟人的思想深度，所以人们直到近代才发现它的价值，keynes就是个例子

And history also tells us that if the greatness of individuals is left to be assessed by those who live after them, then those individuals will be judged fairly and without any prejudices and preferences. Such as political leaders in communist countries, where people are enticed or forced by the incumbent political party to venerate the leader who is being depicted without even a single flaw and as perfect as God, and 主语不一致are punished or even jailed if they criticize the "Almighty" leader. How can the leader, no matter how great his contribution is to the society, be fairly judged by those contemporaries主谓不一致 whose personal security will be threatened if they do so? In China, the unprejudiced and fair assessment of Chairman Mao is coming to our views only recently, when he has deceaseddemised almost 20 years.
我没有发现主题句
There are also times when the greatness of individuals have been seriously undermined or derogated by their contemporaries. As in 1950's, the most esteemed demographist Ma yanchu of China, who had discovered the potential negative effects of rapid population growth in China and addressed it to the general public, did not receive the comments and supports which he deserved, and was persecuted to death by political gangs because of his discovery. Only when he has been dead for 10 years, sociologists and politicians began to realize that what he had foreseen was actually happening in China.看完这段，才发现这两段是高估和低估，文章的结构这里有点模糊，所以我建议在前一段加上一个过渡句来引起这两段

And now, let me use an old saying in China to consolidate my perspective: " Only history can be fair", which means that only those who live after you can give you a fair assessment. 这段我觉得应该作为开头挺不错的

However, sometimes we do not have to or cannot wait for a great contribution of an individual to be left undiscovered or half-acknowledge because of its vital importance for our development. So we must design a mechanism which encourage people to comment on their contemporaries freely, which means we need a democratic society where people are free to present their views and comments on anything anybody save that they respect the same right of other people and keep those comments from personal accusation. Thus, in order to let the greatness of individuals be quickly recognized and disseminated to foster the development of our science, humanity and society, we must commit ourselves to build a democratic state.
这个解决方法的结尾，不知道考试的时候会有什么功效，请你告诉我吧！
1。向你学习自己身边的例子；
2．文章思想的深度比较好，就decide分成over or under evaluate两个部分！

onlyxiaobaiUID: 198198

这篇作文一个美国朋友帮我改了，里面还有许多的错误，我有时间把她修改后的贴出来你看一下。

我觉得很多时候，中国人写的句子中国人看得懂，但是老美看不懂。这一点是最重要的，也是我们改作文的时候改不出来的。