Issue51 教育类，感觉这方面的例子好少啊，担心。24小时回拍

alex_hustUID: 197601

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------

Education, aiming at fostering elites for this society, plays an important role in the development of human beings. Recently, when people come across such question that whether education will be truly effective when specifically designed for the individuals, they are always misled into a dilemma. As far as i am concerned, when individualizing the education totally, it will not so effective because of several practical reasons.

In the first place, individual needs and interests are so different that people can not design such a kind of education to satisfy them all with limited resource and energy. It is well known that, there are not the utterly same objects existing in this world, including people. An individual, with his own mind, may be similar to some others, but it is impossible for them to have the same needs and interests. If people want to satisfy all of their needs to educate them, that will be a huge plan because there are far more than one billion people in this world. Let us consider this problem in a real environment. Consider, a high school, containing more 3,000 students, has only 400 teachers, which is really probable. If the high school want to give a educating plan to meet every student's needs and interests which are different, the teacher will never sleep and have any rest. Is that effective? The answer is absolutely negative. Thus, in this respect, education specifically designed for satisfying individual needs is not so effective.

Moreover, we can not foster people only according to their own needs or interests without any force, because some basic knowledge is important too, although it seems boring to some people. If the educator only offers what students want to them, and do not teach
them those useful and fundamental things according to their needs and interests, that will be a tragedy and harmful to this society. Einstein, the famous physicist, in his early age, was only interested in physics and disliked mathematics very much. But when he went deeper in his research of physics, he found that mathematics were so helpful and regretted his early mistakes--not studying math so well. Thanks to his effort later on math, he made a brilliant progress on physics. Thus, when instructing students, we should pay attention to their interests and needs, meanwhile we should force them to study some basic knowledge at the same time.

Admittedly, individualized education benefits our society so much by providing different insightful ideas and sense of creativity. This society will be uniform and develop slowly without individualized education. But, we should never overrate the merits of  it for the sake of both of efficiency of education and the development of the society.  


In conclusion, although education is somewhat effective when specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests, we can not exaggerate its functions. Any society, if it aims at a long-term development and prospect, it should design its education policy by taking its reality into consideration, it should individualize its education properly. Then, our human will have a bright future.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

我来看看

教育类的例子看这里
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=246684

鬼谷子UID: 159645

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------

Education, aiming at fostering elites 【这个限制就有点过了，可以说是合格的人才，但是不能说是精英啊】for this society, plays an important role in the development of human beings. Recently, when people come across【来到，偶遇，不合适】 such question that whether education will be truly effective when specifically designed for the individuals, they are always misled into a dilemma【什么dilemma呢？】As far as i 【大写】am concerned, when individualizing the education totally, it will not so effective because of several practical reasons. 【反对的观点，有一些表达不是太清楚】

In the first place, individual needs and interests are so different that people【具体点，老师】 can not design such a kind of education 【不是设计education，而应该说是涉及curriculum之类的计划】to satisfy them all with limited resource and energy. 【什么resouce？人力资源吗？energy又是指谁呢？要注意be specific】 It is well known that, there are not the utterly same objects existing in this world, including people. An individual, with his own mind, may be 【加上一个partly比较好】similar to some others, but it is impossible for them to have the same needs and interests. If people want to satisfy all of their needs to educate them, 【If the people who educate the students want to satisfy all their needs,】that 【what？】will be a huge plan because there are far more than one billion 【billions of】people in this world. 【这个原因不好，毕竟一个课堂一个学校的人还是不多的，不应该这么比较】Let us consider this problem in a real environment. Consider, a high school, containing more 3,000 students, has only 400 teachers, which is really probable. If the high school want【wants】 to give【design】 a educating plan to meet every student's needs and interests which are different, the teacher will never sleep and have any rest. Is that effective? The answer is absolutely negative. 【why？】Thus, in this respect, education specifically designed for satisfying individual needs is not so effective. 【论述的过程中一些地方比较罗嗦，而一些地方又交代不清，注意论据的表达和对于论点的支持。对于你的论点你可以说，因为学生的要求很多，比如对于一些活动的要求可能就会导致很多器材的购入，如果每个人的要求都满足的话，，那么用在很多正常运作上面的资金就会不足，以至effectivity降低，或者学校会破产，根本就谈不上effectivity了。而且，如果让有限的老师去满足无限的要求的话，因为老师的能力精力时间有限，很可能课程进度就无法保证，分配到每个学生的教导时间也会减少，那么effectivity也会降低。另外，还可以另起一段来写，学生的合理要求和不合理要求的问题，如果连不合理要求也去满足的话，effectivity一定会降低】

Moreover, we can not foster people 【students】only according to their own needs or interests without any force【force你指什么啊？】, because some basic knowledge is important too, although it seems boring to some people. 【这个although就不要写了】 If the educator only offers what students want to them, and do not teach
them those useful and fundamental things according to their needs and interests, that will be a tragedy and harmful【which is harmful】 to this society. 【对社会有害这个论断有点大，不便于论述】 Einstein, the famous physicist, in his early age, was only interested in physics and disliked mathematics very much. But when he went deeper in his research of physics, he found that mathematics were so helpful and regretted his early mistakes--not studying math so well. Thanks to his effort later on math, he made a brilliant progress on physics. 【这个不是很合适的例子，因为没学好数学是他个人的原因，不是教育的原因】Thus, when instructing students, we should pay attention to their interests and needs, meanwhile we should force them to study some basic knowledge at the same time. 【果然没论述出来对社会的害处。而且，对于基础知识的重要性论述的还不够，还有，我觉得你可以从这个问题引申出统一教育和个人教育的问题，这些基础知识需要统一的课程，正与individual need相对。另外，对于effective你在这段没有论述到】

Admittedly, individualized education benefits our society so much by providing different insightful ideas and sense of creativity. 【这个论断中间缺少了环节，是个人教育培养出来有创新思维的个人，然后个人再将他们的思想贡献给社会】This society will be uniform and develop slowly without individualized education. But, we should never overrate the merits of it for the sake of both of efficiency of education and the development of the society. 【既然都让步了，那么就把问题说清楚吧，不要这样一带而过，感觉是为了让步而让步】


In conclusion, although education is somewhat effective when specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests, we can not exaggerate its functions. Any society, if it aims at a long-term development and prospect, it should design its education policy by taking its reality into consideration, it should individualize its education properly. Then, our human will have a bright future.

【论证的过程中很多地方都不够到位，而且，对于effective的问题没有解释清楚。语言表达上面还有一些问题。需要加油了！】

kkytUID: 188814

这到题我写过,我来看看你的

alex_hustUID: 197601

非常感谢！
谢谢你的指点，看来差距仍然很大，我会继续用功的。再次感谢！^_^

kkytUID: 188814

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
Education, aiming at fostering elites for this society, plays an important role in the development of human beings. Recently, when people come across such question that whether education will be truly effective when specifically designed for the individuals, they are always misled into a dilemma. As far as I am concerned, when individualizing the education totally, it will not so effective because of several practical reasons.

In the first place, individual needs and interests are so different that people can not design such a kind of education to satisfy them all with limited resource and energy. It is well known that, there are not the utterly same objects existing in this world, including people. An individual, with his own mind, may be similar to some others, but it is impossible for them to have the same needs and interests. If people want to satisfy all of their needs to educate them, that will be a huge plan because there are far more than one billion people in this world. Let us consider this problem in a real environment. Consider, a high school, containing more 3,000 students, has only 400 teachers, which is really probable. If the high school want to give a [an] educating plan to meet every student's needs and interests which are different, the teacher will never sleep and have any rest. Is that effective? The answer is absolutely negative. Thus, in this respect, education specifically designed for satisfying individual needs is not so effective.

Moreover, we can not foster people only according to their own needs or interests without any force, because some basic knowledge is important too, although it seems boring to some people. If the educator only offers what students want to them[want to them?什么意思？], and do not teach them those useful and fundamental things according to their needs and interests［这句说的太绝对，有时学生往往需要的都是对自己有用的东西啊，可能有点抬杠了］, that will be a tragedy and harmful to this society. Einstein, the famous physicist, in his early age, was only interested in physics and disliked mathematics very much. But when he went deeper in his research of physics, he found that mathematics were[was] so helpful[不要老用SO来修饰，可以作成复合句子更好]and regretted his early mistakes--not studying math so well. Thanks to his effort later on math, he made a brilliant progress on physics. Thus, when instructing students, we should pay attention to their interests and needs, meanwhile we should force them to study some basic knowledge at the same time.［not only but also 做这个句子更好］［这段用例子证明确实很难举，因为教育没有这样做的，你可以假设如果教育只为个人设计，会导致学生怎样，举一个自编的例子，也就是说明这样的做法不是effective 的就行。］

Admittedly, individualized education benefits our society so much by providing different insightful ideas and sense of creativity. This society will be uniform and develop slowly without individualized education. But, we should never overrate the merits of it for the sake of both of efficiency of education and the development of the society.

In conclusion, although education is somewhat effective when specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests, we can not exaggerate its functions. ［Any society, if it aims at a long-term development and prospect, it［it去掉］ should design its education policy by taking its reality into consideration, it should individualize its education properly. Then, our human will have a bright future.［最后没有提出具体的方案，只是说应考虑现实，等太空的话，不好有点官僚风格呵呵］［解决方案你不是已经提了么？要开公共课啊］
［看了你的，我也学了不少东西，突然明白这道题不管怎么论证，举什么例子，我们的落脚点都是说明是否effective,　这是关键 ］