[签证] 42加拿大学签（研文）一签被拒，发STUDY PLAN 请指教，多谢。 [复制链接]

swift994
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电梯直达

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发表于 2023-5-15 09:32:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

各位亲，我42岁超大龄，申请加拿大曼省研文一签被拒，拒签理由质疑访问目的、资金，国内tie，特发study plan请指教。因超大龄写了大概四页解释，是否太啰嗦了需大幅精简？
Study plan
Dear visa officer.
My name is xxx, male, passport number E68xx, and I am planning to study Network Security Post-Degree Diploma (16-month program) at the University of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada in the fall of 2023. I am very honored to have this opportunity to study and I am writing this letter for additional information.
I. Educational Background:
I studied at Huazhong University of Science and Technology from September 1999 to June 2003, majoring in telecommunications engineering in the Department of Electronic Information, and received my bachelor's degree.
II. Work Background:
xx REALTY(HOLDINGS)LIMITED 2020/09-2022/03          Senior IT Manager
Self-employed                2019/01-2020/08    Software Development Engineer
xx Real Estate Changsha       2018/07-2018/12                IT Manager
xx Real Estate Co. 2011/07-2018/06             IT Manager 
Hunan Telecom Technical Maintenance Bureau 2003/07-2011/07 Intelligent Network Supervisor
III. why I decide to continue my study?
It helps me to advance my career. My undergraduate major is telecommunications engineering, which was studied 20 years ago, and the major courses are mainly electronic and hardware related, and only a small part is computer IT related content. But my recent 10 years of work experience, career development was based on computer and IT information system, computer network system related knowledge. The professional knowledge I learned in university related to my job are only some superficial introductory theory (such as Introduction to Computers, Introduction to Databases, Data Structures, Modern Switching Technology, etc.), and due to the explosion of IT, computer, network knowledge, these traditional theories are far behind the current era. My existing technical stockpile is based on intermittent self-study in my spare time, but it is not systematic. As I was exposed to more and more IT-related professional knowledge, concepts and professional equipment at work, some mistakes and difficulties occurred in my daily work. Furthermore, I found that my current technical blind spot had even affected my job hunting, and I missed several opportunities to get a higher position during the interview process because of the lack of solid reserves of new technologies. I realized that these technical gaps and blind spots were my weaknesses and would eventually lead to limitations in my personal career development. Now there is an urgent need to update my knowledge base to facilitate further advancement in the workplace. So, I decided to enrich myself first, with the goal of improving my technical skills and workplace competitiveness through a short course of 1-2 years.
IV. Why study in Canada?
How can I improve my skills by studying for further education? I have following choices: a. To pursue domestic graduate studies. b. To choose domestic adult continuing professional education courses. c. To choose domestic technical schools or online courses. d. To study abroad. In China, graduate students in colleges and universities are mainly enrolled in fresh graduates. Moreover, the education in Chinese colleges and universities focuses more on theoretical knowledge research, and the duration of the academic system takes up to 3 years, which is not in line with my wish to improve my purpose quickly in a short period of time. The curriculum of vocational education colleges, technical schools or online courses is rather outdated and fails to cover the current cutting-edge technology. The systematic and professional nature of teaching is far from foreign education in terms of teaching quality and hardware conditions. Especially in terms of hands-on practice, there is a big gap compared with International Universities, and the academic recognition is not as good as them. Studying abroad allows me to learn the world's most cutting-edge technology and to be exposed to cultural diversity. In addition, the native English-speaking environment abroad can also improve my English communication skills, which will be of great help when I return to China to apply for foreign company-related positions. There are many internationally renowned foreign companies in China that offer very high salary levels for IT management technicians, but require fluent English communication and writing skills for job seekers, which my domestic school was unable to help me achieve. To sum up, I chose to study abroad.
In terms of destinations to study abroad, I compared and researched programs related to the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, or Australia. My reasons for choosing Canada to study abroad were that it was relatively closer to my budget in terms of tuition and living costs. Regarding the quality of education, Canada is also world-renowned for its higher education, which is not significantly inferior to the U.S., U.K., or Australia, and is more cost-effective in terms of return on investment for study.
V. Why choose the University of Winnipeg and the Network Security Post-Degree Diploma Program?
1. The University of Winnipeg is a long-established public comprehensive university with a very strong faculty. For example, according to the feedback of students who have participated in the program before, the windows server course under the program is taught by the director of the information department of the Winnipeg City Hall, who shares interesting cases in the application of municipalities in the course; in addition, the Linux security course is taught by the professor who teaches the graduate program of the University of Winnipeg, who has very senior teaching skills.
2. The program offers courses that are more in line with my technical advancement and career development plans. My most recent job is as a senior IT manager, and my main responsibilities include: construction of the company's information technology system and mobile applications for each system. Responsible for the automatic operation and maintenance construction of the company's information systems; responsible for the data center server room enterprise network construction, hardware upgrades.
My future career enhancement development path is: IT director position (focusing on the direction of network infrastructure security). Here I have analyzed the technical requirements of large companies for IT director positions on the largest job boards in China (Job Search, 51job, etc.) and the correspondence between the courses offered in the program:
 Experience in network planning, management and operation and maintenance of medium and large enterprises, proficient in troubleshooting and performance tuning; (the skills correspond to the Case studies, issues & capstone project course under the program)
 Proficient in various network equipment technologies in data centers, such as: VLAN, STP, OSPF, BGP, VPN, MPLS and private lines; (the skills correspond to the Cisco Cybersecurity Operation, CCNA I-III courses under the project)
 Proficient in mainstream network security control systems, including network firewalls, IPS/IDS, WAF and other information security products. (The skills correspond to the program under CCNA I-III, CompTIA security, Ethical Hacking, power shell script and other courses)
 Proficient in enterprise automation security operation and maintenance management project implementation, with information system security professional certification CISSP (Certification for Information System Security Professional) or ITIL MANAGER certification. (This skill corresponds to the CISSP course under the program)
The program's class schedule comes from the school's website Network Security Diploma | UWinnipeg PACE (uwinnipegcourses.ca) Fact Sheet
  As it is clear, the courses offered under the program perfectly cover the professional skills that I urgently need for my career path. In addition, another major advantage of the program is that it emphasizes the development of complex skills, and there are various business management courses in the program, such as financial management, business responsibilities, writing and communication skills, etc., which are also very essential for the soft skills that I need to improve in my career development. After completing my studies, if I can successfully apply for a position as an IT director in my country, my monthly salary will increase considerably to about RMB 30,000-40,000 (CAD 6,000-8,000) per month. So, I think that studying abroad will greatly improve my competitiveness in the workplace and is a highly effective and rewarding investment.
3. The duration of the program meets my need to improve my skills quickly. The total duration of the program is 16 months and the pace of teaching is very fast.
4. I have the ability to complete the program. First of all, my English level: IELTS total score 7 (listening 8, reading 6.5, writing 6, speaking 6.5), which meets the language requirement for admission. I am confident that I will be able to complete my studies with excellent results because the professional courses I am taking are an in-depth expansion of my many years of professional experience.
VI. Study goals, return plans:
My study goal is to complete the program and internship within 16 months. After completing my study abroad, I will return to China as soon as possible to continue my career in the IT industry. The reason is that I have been working in the IT industry for about 19 years and I have accumulated a lot of experience and contacts in China, and the IT industry is the fastest growing and most promising industry in China, with a large number of excellent high-tech companies that offer good salaries. With the advanced technology I have learned in the program, I am confident that I will be able to make further progress in my career in China.
In addition, I have been married for many years, my beloved wife has a promising job in China, I have a son in junior high school, and my elderly parents (almost 70 years old) are in China and need my care, they are the most important people in my life and they are very supportive of my study abroad. I have a total of 2 apartments and 2 vehicles in Changsha and Foshan, the first-tier cities in China, and I have an excellent life in China. All of my social connections, interpersonal relationships are in China.
Finally, I am aware that as an international student, I have a duty to abide by all Canadian laws. I have a 10-year tourist visa to Canada and the United States, and I have good travel records in the United States, New Zealand, Japan and Malaysia. After completing my studies in Canada, I will learn the latest technology and practical skills in the industry and return to China to continue my career in the IT industry.
Based on the above description, I sincerely hope that you will approve my application, thank you for your time.
Yours sincerely,

2023-4-10 xxx

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