argument 205 请拍砖 必会

mariaUID: 197971

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：29分58秒     386 words
从2005年2月16日19时4分到2005年2月16日19时29分
------题目------
The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
'Last October the city of Belleville installed high intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined almost immediately. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. Since high intensity lighting is apparently the most effective way to combat crime, we should install such lighting throughout Amburg. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city.'
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer concludes that they should install high intensity lighting throughout Amburg. In order to convince readers, he provides evidence that seems plausible, but after careful examination, this argument is not well reasoned.

Firstly, this argument cannot provide sufficient information to show that it is the installation of high intensity lighting in city of Belleville that made vandalism there declined. We can only know that the latter thing took place after the former thing. We cannot rule out other possibilities that caused vandalism decline. For example, Belleville punished vandalism more severely than ever before and criminals did not dare to do such things. In addition, the arguer does not tell us that vandalism often took place in central business district, even if installing high intensity lighting there will not reduce its vandalism.

Secondly, the arguer conducts a false analogy. Even if he can vindicate that declining of vandalism in the city of Belleville owed to the fact that they installed high intensity lighting in its central business district, this condition may not fit for Amburg. Without the time of most vandalism took place in the two cities, we cannot rule out the possibility that while most vandalism in Belleville took place at night, those in Amuburg during daytime. Then taking the same measures as Belleville will be a waste of money.

Thirdly, the arguer also conducts a false of overgeneralization. For one thing, whether it is necessary to install such lighting throughout Amburg is open to doubt. It may be effective to install it in areas where vandalism took place frequently. For another, there is no information to show that this measure will be effective to combat crime. Since there are so many sorts of crime and they are different with each other in times and forms. Such suggestion is only an idea.

Last but not least, the arguer fails to convince us that police patrols on bicycles in business district of Amburg are inefficient. As mentioned above, there is no evidence to indicate that most vandalism took place in business district. It is possible that most of them was in the park. Under such circumstance, it is not strange that vandalism remains constant.

In conclusion, this argument is specious. In order to convince us, the arguer should provide more relevant information.

寻梦UID: 171591

In this argument, the arguer concludes that they should install high intensity lighting throughout Amburg. In order to convince readers, he provides evidence that seems plausible, but after careful examination, this argument is not well reasoned.感觉开头有点不太纯,能不能再提炼一下,我个人的意见

Firstly, this argument cannot provide sufficient information to show that it is the installation of high intensity lighting in city of Belleville that made最好用一般现在时，因为后面的陈述应与其一致 vandalism there declined. We can only know that the latter thing took place after the former thing. We cannot rule out other possibilities that caused vandalism decline. For example, Belleville punished vandalism more severely than ever before and criminals did not dare to do such things.以上两句若连成一个复合重句效果会更强 In addition, the arguer does not tell us that vandalism often took place in central business district, even if installing high intensity lighting there will not reduce its vandalism.

Secondly, the arguer conducts a false analogy. Even if he can vindicate that declining of vandalism in the city of Belleville owed to the fact that they installed high intensity lighting in its central business district, this condition may not fit for Amburg. Without the time of most vandalism took place in the two cities, we cannot rule out the possibility that while most vandalism in Belleville took place at night, those in Amuburg during daytime. Then taking the same measures as Belleville will be a waste of money.

Thirdly, the arguer also conducts a false of overgeneralization. For one thing, whether it is necessary to install such lighting throughout Amburg is open to doubt. It may be effective to install it in areas where vandalism took place frequently. For another, there is no information to show that this measure will be effective to combat crime. Since there are so many sorts of crime and they are different with each other in times and forms. Such suggestion is only an idea.

Last but not least, the arguer fails to convince us that police patrols on bicycles in business district of Amburg are inefficient. As mentioned above, there is no evidence to indicate that most vandalism took place in business district. It is possible that most of them was in the park. Under such circumstance, it is not strange that vandalism remains constant.

In conclusion, this argument is specious. In order to convince us, the arguer should provide more relevant information.
逻辑攻击的第二段和第五段后半段虽然是两个不同的地域但攻击点是一样的,感觉有点重复,总体感觉条理很清楚可能语言还要提炼

comingsoonUID: 175137

In this argument, the arguer concludes that they should install high intensity lighting throughout Amburg. In order to convince readers, he provides evidence that seems plausible, but after careful examination, this argument is not well reasoned.

Firstly, this argument cannot provide sufficient information to show that it is the installation of high intensity lighting in city of Belleville that made vandalism there declined. We can only know that the latter thing took place after the former thing这句话感觉颇不地道，不过我也没想好怎么说. We cannot rule out other possibilities that caused vandalism decline. For example, Belleville punished vandalism more severely than ever before and criminals did not dare to do such things. In addition, the arguer does not tell us that vandalism often took place in central business district, even if installing high intensity lighting there will not reduce its vandalism.

Secondly, the arguer conducts a false analogy. Even if he can vindicate that declining declining好像是adj. 用decline好了 of vandalism in the city of Belleville owed to the fact that they installed high intensity lighting in its central business district, this condition the measure,情况不适合，感觉有些chinglish^^ may not fit for Amburg. Without the time of most vandalism took place in the two cities Without adequate information concerning the specific time when vandalism took place in these two cities, we cannot rule out the possibility that while most vandalism in Belleville took place at night, those in Amuburg during daytime. Then taking the same measures as Belleville will be a waste of money and would have no effect on the purpose of eliminating vandalism，感觉加这一句要充实些 .

Thirdly, the arguer also conducts a false of overgeneralization. For one thing, whether it is necessary to install such lighting throughout Amburg is open to doubt. It may be effective to install it in areas where vandalism took place frequently. For another, there is no information to show that this measure will be effective to combat crime. Since there are so many sorts of crime and they are different with each other in times and forms. Such suggestion is only an idea这句话不知道这样写好不好，such suggestion is specious,个人意见.

Last but not least, the arguer fails to convince us that police patrols on bicycles in business district of Amburg are inefficient. As mentioned above, there is no evidence to indicate that most vandalism took place in business district. It is possible that most of them was were in the park. Under such circumstance, it is not strange that vandalism remains constant.
感觉似乎argument中没有刻意提到警察的效率很低
而且，文中最后一句也没有回应

In conclusion, this argument is specious. In order to convince us, the arguer should provide more relevant information.
结尾挺简略的，不知道这样好不好。我也是刚写，不太会改^^

flyingwindUID: 189320

In this argument, the arguer concludes that they should install high intensity lighting throughout Amburg. In order to convince readers, he?女人怎么办？ provides evidence that seems plausible, but after careful examination, 这个句子有问题，谁在examination，主语不对哦this argument is not well reasoned. careful examimation revels that this argument is...

Firstly, this argument cannot provide sufficient informationevidence to show that it is the installation of high intensity lighting in city of Belleville that made vandalism there declined. We can only know that the latter thing took place after the former thing去了.转折词？ We谁？the arguer！ cannot rule out other possibilities that caused vandalism decline. For example, Belleville punished vandalism more severely than ever before and criminals did not dare to do such things. In addition, the arguer does not tell us that vandalism often took place in central business district, even if installing high intensity lighting there will not reduce its vandalism.

Secondly, the arguer conducts？ a false analogy摸板+花哨！. Even if he can vindicate that declining of vandalism in the city of Belleville owed to 用错！the fact that they installed high intensity lighting in its central business district, this condition may not fit for去 Amburg. Without the time？社么意思 of most vandalism took place in the two cities, we cannot rule out the possibility that while这个while放到后面句子里 most vandalism in Belleville took place at night, those in Amuburg during daytime. Then taking the same measures as Belleville will be a waste of money！！！a money; two money?.

Thirdly, the arguer also conducts? a false of overgeneralization理由同上. For one thing, whether it is necessary to install such lighting throughout Amburg is open to doubt. It may be effective to install it in areas where vandalism took place frequently. For another, there is no information to show that this measure will be effective to combat ？changecrime. Since there are so many sorts of crime and they are different with each other in times and forms. Such suggestion is only an idea社么意思.

Last but not least, the arguer fails to convince us that police patrols on bicycles in business district of Amburg are inefficient. As mentioned above, there is no evidence to indicate->indicating that most vandalism took place in business district. It is possible that most of them was in the park. Under such circumstance, it is not strange that vandalism remains constant.

In conclusion, this argument is specious. In order to convince us, the arguer should provide more relevant information.。。。考试可以考虑这样

作者整体都要提高，语言，逻辑错误有条理的叙述，以及表达如何使意思明确
可能要多看看范文，老外280的逻辑表达的语言
有时间的话看看我这个，提提意见
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=255787

mariaUID: 197971

谢谢三位这篇真是问题好多阿，结合你们三个的建议，要重新好好改写了