issue51 要考试了,大家帮忙看看吧,谢谢!

xuding_godUID: 179213

Issue51 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
Since the people concentrate the important of the education, it has been a long time to discuss that how can education displays in a more efficient way than ever. Disagreeing with the speaker, who assert that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, I suggest that what the statement mention is one way to make the progress but it’s not the only one method to get the success.

Undoubtedly that to give everyone what he interests in really make the education more effective. As every student in the universities and colleges, they may choose what ever they want to know with the public subjects system such as music, sports, arts and so on besides their own special study. Just as the students who do research in the science may take the arts to relax themselves, the literature students select some phscial subjects to make a generation about the tow relative subjects and to go deeper understand about their study with the help of other courses. Also these who prefer manufacture would like to take some practical works rather than study day and night all in the narrow circumstance. So making specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests do help the education to make a higher effects.

   And for a further look, is that the only way to make the education go to its aim? The answer is obvious. There are still some other ways can do the same thing mentioned above and instead of the method. For example, let the students get a same curriculum in fundamental education looks like an effective method. Not like the specifically designs, this method make sense in some areas. The goal for the education is to bring out some sensible and moral individual with proficient skills to develop the society. The similar courses teach to the student let they what the society really needs and give them basic skills to survive. The student may not like the boring course because the foundations are just some factors they had known before. But only by these factors can they make a clear sight about the world. Form the basic subject they may learn how to analyze questions, deal with things more reasonably and become the pillars of the society.
   
   However, the education seems to be more freedom and it makes some benefits for both students and schools. But some traditional methods still show their brightness in this field. So think about the ultimate aim of the education, there are some disadvantages in the specifically individual because it may let the students act more arbitrarily and liberty. On the other hand, the other methods also can't be perfect. Only used in a correct way, they will implement a truly effective of the education more efficiently.

Consequently, due to analysis and the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that, both... and the specifically designed to content the individuals give a efficient way to make the education more effective.

枫丹UID: 166492

我先帮你顶一下,明天交上!

smartyrUID: 169453

No.1 issue51 要考试了,大家帮忙看看吧,谢谢!
Issue51 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
Since the people concentrate the important of the education,【 education is the focus of people's attention recently/people focus  their eyes on the importance of education  】 it has been a long time to discuss that how can education displays in a more efficient way than ever【ever before】. Disagreeing with the speaker, who assert that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, I suggest that what the statement mention mentionsis one way to make the progress but it’s not the only one method to get the success.【你把effective定义成progress 和success，这可是范围很大的！】

Undoubtedly that to give everyone what he interests 【给他感兴趣的东西，这样不好把？】in really make the education more effective.【最好再跟一句解释的清楚点】 As every student in the universities and colleges, they may choose what ever they want to know with【about】 the public subjects system such as music, sports, arts and so on besides their own special study. Just as the students who do research in the science may take the arts to relax themselves, the literature【文科生交 liberal art student】 students select some phscial subjects to make a generation about the tow relative subjects and to go deeper understand about their study with the help of other courses. Also these who prefer manufacture would like to take some practical works rather than study day and night all in the narrow circumstance. 这句有关系马？So making specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests do help the education to make a higher effects.【效率体现在哪？？学是喜欢学的，结果呢？？？他们那样的结果？现在哪里?】

And for a further look, is that the only way to make the education go to its aim? The answer is obvious. There are still some other ways can do the same thing mentioned above and instead of the method. 【there are some other ways may contribute to ……For example, let the students get a same curriculum in fundamental education looks like an effective method. Not like the specifically designs, this method make sense in some areas. The goal for the education is to bring out some sensible and moral individual with proficient skills to develop the society. The similar courses teach to the student let they what the society really needs and give them basic skills to survive. The student may not like the boring course because the foundations are just some factors they had known before. But only by these factors can they make a clear sight about the world. Form the basic subject they may learn how to analyze questions, deal with things more reasonably and become the pillars of the society.这段有点失败。内容好像与ts不太相关

However, the education seems to be more freedom【名词】 and it makes some benefits for both students and schools. 【这里有问题！！说的什么意思？与effective，specially designed 均无关！】But some traditional methods still show their brightness in this field. So think about the ultimate aim of the education, there are some disadvantages in the specifically individual because it may let the students act more arbitrarily and liberty. On the other hand, the other methods also can't be perfect. Only used in a correct way, they will implement a truly effective of the education more efficiently.【两段】

Consequently, due to analysis and the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that, both... and the specifically designed to content the individuals give a efficient way to make the education more effective.
【最后一段用的是模板吧？这样等于没有总结】

xuding_godUID: 179213

谢谢楼上的,我也觉得写得很有问题,在表面上过多的纠缠了,要大改呀,呵呵.

枫丹UID: 166492

Since the people concentrate （on）the important of the education, it has been a long time to discuss that how can(can 在后面) education displays in a more efficient way than ever. Disagreeing with the speaker, who assert that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, I suggest that what the statement mention???? is one way to make the progress but it’s not the only one(one 去掉) method to get the success.

Undoubtedly that to give everyone what he interests in really make the education more effective. As every student in the universities and colleges, they may choose what ever they want to know with the public subjects system such as music, sports, arts and so on besides their own special study. Just as the students who do research in the science may take the arts to relax themselves, the literature students select some phscial subjects to make a generation about the tow relative subjects and to go deeper understand about their study with the help of other courses. Also these who prefer manufacture would like to take some practical works rather than study day and night all in the narrow circumstance. So making specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests do help the education to make a higher effects.什么样的教育才是effective的教育呢？？

And for a further look, is that the only way to make the education go to its aim? （语法问题严重了，你应该注意疑问句和疑问副词引导的宾语从句的不同。 ）The answer is obvious. There are still some other ways can do the same thing mentioned above and instead of the method. For example, let the students get a same curriculum in fundamental education looks like an effective method. Not like the specifically designs, this method make sense in some areas. The goal for the education is to bring out some sensible and moral individual with proficient skills to develop the society. The similar courses teach to the student let they what the society really needs and give them basic skills to survive. The student may not like the boring course because the foundations are just some factors they had known before. But only by these factors can they make a clear sight about the world. Form the basic subject they may learn how to analyze questions, deal with things more reasonably and become the pillars of the society.
最后一句放到前面去 。 做展开用，
However, the education seems to be more freedom and it makes some benefits for both students and schools. But some traditional methods still show their brightness in this field. So think about the ultimate aim of the education, there are some disadvantages in the specifically individual because it may let the students act more arbitrarily and liberty. On the other hand, the other methods also can't be perfect. Only used in a correct way, they will implement a truly effective of the education more efficiently.

what are other methods???

Consequently, due to analysis and the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that, both... and the specifically designed to content the individuals give a efficient way to make the education more effective.
你的思路还是清楚的，可是论证的顺序有些乱，还有语法问题比较突出。 虽然语言不是关键但是一定要尽量避免语法错误。我的语法错误多是大家公认的。呵呵！！继续努力了！！