issue2 第一次限时成功,很久没有写了,找一个好写的,请大家拍

thminUID: 192642

第一次限时成功.前段时间处于低潮阶段,所以很久没有写了,今日卷土重来,找了一个好写的,请大家拍砖,谢谢.

Issue2  第9篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：thmin     共用时间：43分32秒     565 words
从2005年2月27日9时13分到2005年2月27日9时43分
------题目------
Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.
------正文------
Many people have discussed about the benefits and harmness of competition to the development of society, yet there is no any established opinions and values about this issue. As far as I am concerned, I will agree with the viewpoint that competition is ultimately more beneficial rather than detrimental, for it is the competition make the best of us and select those who are most competent and outstanding in contributing to our society, although overdue competition will more or less bring some harm to society.

To begin with, competition can always help or encourage people to develop and discover the best part of themselves. Common sense tell us that for the sake of human ambitions in most people's mind, nearly every one of us is willing to get the first place or win other people in a certain competition. Therefore, it is the ambition that makes us do the best to better ourselves in the certain field to improve our abilities, practice our skills and enlarge our knowledge. For instance, students who want to get the highest scores always be those who read most and study hardest. Workers who aim to receive the most wages in factory always be those who practice their working skills most frequently and diligently.

In the second place, competition help the society select the better developed people and organizations in their ability and operations by eliminating the poor developed ones. It is somewhat a little analogous to the nature selection of the earth which can also be described as a competition of nature resource -- faced with the limited and finite nature resource, animals who are best fit to the nature environment have survived and the those who are not and weakly developed have disappeared forever. In the human society, things are quite similar to what is in the nature's world. For example, the most competent and skillful workers are allowed to stay in company after competitive entrance test in their working skills; high school students who have displayed their outstanding cognitive ability and learning skills in competitive selection examination are admitted to the freshmen of a certain university; and in the end, business and commercial organizations which have well-operated and earned relatively high profits can have more possibility to survive in society when facing the cruel business laws and rules that poor-operated company will be eliminated.

However, undue competition sometimes are potentially harmful to people and the whole society. It is not hard to understand that all people don't like to be defeated in competition. Therefore, this kind of feeling to fear failure sometimes will develop into a uncontrollable extent to which a few people cannot resist to by all means to impede other people from success and achievement in competition. It's not uncommon that we can easily find that in the election of a public leader, especially that of presidents, the candidates and their supporters make malice aspersion and gossips towards their rivals. And this will to some extent make voters blind and thus harmful to the rules of “fair play”.

To sum up, competition is ultimately more beneficial for it will encourage people to improve, develop and discover the best of themselves and help the society to select the best students, the most competent workers and the most contributitive businesses. Yet, we must be wary of the potential harmness of competition that it will lead to.

imjasonUID: 176604

thimin好久不见了啊，现在更强了啊！！！
我给你的短消息看到没啊

thminUID: 192642

呵呵,哪里哪里. 当着gter上这么多牛人,你说我"强"真的是不敢当,觉得自己写得实在还是很烂.唉,这样下去...
还是别捧我了,给我改改吧...我刚刚看过你的消息,给你回复了,呵呵.

imjasonUID: 176604

------题目------
Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.
------正文------
Many people have discussed about the benefits and harmness of competition to the development of society, yet there is no any established opinions and values about this issue. As far as I am concerned, I will agree with the viewpoint that competition is ultimately more beneficial rather than detrimental, for it is the competition make the best of us and select those who are most competent and outstanding in contributing to our society, although我记得although是一般用在句首的，句中用though就可以了 overdue competition will more or less bring some harm to society.开头的最后一句我不止到是起什么作用。既然在那个as far as I am concerned里面已经有了你的观点——好比坏多，这样最后一句话就添足了，而且会模糊掉你的观点了，毕竟转折是有一定的强调意味的了

To begin with, competition can always这种绝对性的词语使用要注意了 help or encourage people to develop and discover the best part of themselves. Common sense tell单复数 us that for the sake of human ambitions in most people's mind, nearly every one of us is willing to get the first place or win other people in a certain competition. Therefore, it is the ambition that makes us do the best （to better ourselves）这里就累赘了，我觉得完全可以删掉 in the certain field to improve our abilities, practice our skills and enlarge our knowledge. For instance, students who want to get the highest scores always be those who read most and study hardest. Workers who aim to receive the most wages in factory always be those who practice their working skills most frequently and diligently.

In the second place, competition help单复数 the society select the better developed people and organizations in their ability and operations by eliminating the poor developed ones. It is somewhat a littlesomewhat和a little有点重复了 analogoussimilar吧 to the nature selection of the earth which can also be described as a competition of nature resource -- faced with the limited and finite nature resource, animals who are best fitfit你是准备当成什么词看？形容或动？ to the nature environment have survived and the去掉the those who are not and weakly developed have disappeared forever. In the human society, things are quite similar to what is in the nature's world. For example, the most competent and skillful workers are allowed to stay in company after competitive entrance test in their working skills; high school students who have displayed their outstanding cognitive ability and learning skills in competitive selection examination are admitted to the freshmen of a certain university; and in the end, business and commercial organizations which have well-operated and earned relatively high profits can have more possibility to survive in society用business要好些吧 when facing the cruel business laws and rules that poor-operated company will be eliminated.

However不要用这么强的转折了，这样就削弱了你前面的论述。除非你的观点是这后面的。用个on the other hand我觉得就足够了, undue competition sometimes are potentially harmful to people and the whole society. It is not hard to understand that all people don't like to be defeated in competition. Therefore, this kind of feeling就说this feeling了，简洁点，或者更简洁点：the fearing to the failure to fear failure sometimes will develop into a uncontrollable extent to which a few people cannot resist to by all means to impede other people from success and achievement in competition.这句话建议修改下。resist后面好象是接doing It's not uncommon that we can easily find that in the election of a public leader, especially that of presidents, the candidates and their supporters make malice aspersion and gossips towards their rivals. And this will to some extent make voters blind and thus harmful to the rules of “fair play”.感觉这段没有前面论述得好

To sum up, competition is ultimately more beneficial for it will encourage people to improve, develop and discover the best of themselves and help the society to select the best students, the most competent workers and the most contributitive businesses. Yet, we must be wary of the potential harmness of competition that it will lead to.
结尾又是这样——先说了自己对竞争是支持的，但是又来个转折将其否定掉。这样只会把别人搞蒙了，都不晓得你到底是站在哪一边了

thminUID: 192642

谢谢你,看得这么仔细!好感动!

我要是有足够的时间的话,会把B3好好论述一下,可是当时看时间已经快到了,就写得不那么好.本来想再举个例子,可是...总是觉得时间太不够用啦!