issue7 同主题写作,敬请拍砖,必第一时间回拍啊.

kkytUID: 188814

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
摄像机可以通过如此精确而有力的记录手段来再现当代生活，因此它已经代替书面记录成为了一种更重要的记录手段。
观点；都重要
BI video cameras 在记录某些短暂的，动态的 易逝的场景时比written record 更生动准确。 比如足球比赛，晚会
B2在轻便和记录某些思想时，written record 比video cameras 更有效。如闲逛的时候，没有人会经常带着笨拙的摄象机，海明威的著作“老人与海”
B3不可否认，当今社会随着科技的发展，camera的价格越来越低，功能越来越强大，用的人越来越多，但written 作为古老的方法不会消失。

Nowadays, owning to the progress of digital technology, the application of the video camera has been more and more popular. The speaker claims that it is a more important means of documenting contemporary life than a written record. In my idea, both the video camera and the written records have their own advantages and disadvantages, and play significant role on people' documentation.

To begin with, the video cameras serve as the means that more vivid and accuracy than the written records for the purpose of documenting the temporal, mobile and evanescent experiences and scenes. For instance, by virtue of cameras, a football coach would record the behaviors of his players and the opponents. Obviously, by these records, a coach can analyze the misdeeds of his players, the style of his opponents, and the strategy he would take in the future. To the contrary, it is impossible for a coach no matter how keen he is to   describe all the details in the match through words. Likely, as we know, the video cameras would record both pictures and sounds about the objects, while words can not do it. The comment in a piece of paper about an evening party can not “replay” the euphonious songs, vivid actions, passionate ambience as accurately or objectively as a video record. Therefore, as far as the animate and accurate features of the cameras are concerned, video cameras indeed are more effective than written records.

However, when it comes to the convenience and certain other purposes, written records are advantageous to and more appropriate than video records. Undoubtedly, the cameras seem as clumsier and than written records. For example, when we are ambling on the streets, we would write down what we had seen with pencils, but few of people would be incline to take their heavy cameras by aimless. Moreover, a video camera is of little use to document a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, and reflections of his experiences. For example, by reading the old man and the sea, Hemingway's famous works, people may savor the courage, hardships indomitable spirits of the old man fighting with the bad environments between the lines, whereas, if Hemingway had merely recorded some pictures and sound of the sea, his aims and ideas would have certainly not been achieved. Thus, actually, reading books is the communication with their writers. Through reading, people can appreciate the authors' ideas and experiences and spirits. Just as the old saying once said that reading, we will gain success and fortune through reading, the written record indeed give people more insightful meaning than the dull pictures and sound.

Admittedly, in our  contemporary life, with the development of science and technology, the cost of the cameras becomes more and more lower, the functions becomes more and more stronger and thus the amount of the people who own cameras is increasing. Nevertheless, the written record as the traditional means that was used from the beginning of letters would also function as the indispensably forms on people's everyday documentation due to its distinctive characters.

In sum, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of video records. In fact, as every coin has two sides, every thing has its drawbacks. In order to document all kinds of aspects of our contemporary life effectively, people should combine the two forms by utilizing their advantages and shunning their shortcomings.

wx8348UID: 185363

占一个

wx8348UID: 185363

Nowadays, owning to the progress of digital technology, the application of the video camera has been more and more popular.连接词 The speaker claims that it is a more important means of documenting contemporary life than a written record. In my idea, both the video camera and the written records have their own advantages and disadvantages, and play significant role onin people's documentation.

To begin with, the video cameras serves as the means that more vivid and accuracyaccurate than the written records for the purpose of documenting the temporal, mobile and evanescent experiences and scenes. For instance, by virtue of cameras, a football coach wouldwill record the behaviors of his players and the opponents. Obviously, by these records, a coach can analyze the misdeeds of his players, the style of his opponents, and the strategy he would take in the future.看来你是个足球fans Toon the contrary, it is impossible for a coach no matter how keen he is to describe all the details in the match through words. Likely, as we know, the video cameras wouldwiil record both pictures and sounds about the objects, while words can not do it. The comment in a piece of paper about an evening party can not “replay” the euphonious songs, vivid actions, passionate ambience as accurately or objectively as a video record. Therefore, as far as the animate and accurate features of the cameras are concerned, video cameras indeed are more effective than written records.

However, when it comes to the convenience and certain other purposes, written records are advantageous to and more appropriate than video records. Undoubtedly, the cameras seem as clumsier andmore cubersome than written recordspens...记录的工具嘛. For example, when we are ambling on the streets, we would.. write down what we had seen with pencils, but few of people would be incline to take their heavy cameras by aimless. Moreover, a video camera is of little use to document a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, and reflections of his experiences. For example, by reading the old man and the sea, Hemingway's famous works, people may savor the courage, hardships indomitable spirits of the old man fighting with the bad environments between the lines, whereas, if Hemingway had merely recorded some pictures and sound of the sea, his aims and ideas would have certainly not been achieved. 没有抓住contemporary comparison !!!Thus, actually, reading books is the communication with their writers. Through reading, people can appreciate the authors' ideas and experiences and spirits. Just as the old saying once said that reading, we will gain success and fortune through reading, the written record indeed give people more insightful meaning than the dull pictures and sound.用发展的眼光看代事物会更好

Admittedly, in our contemporary life, with the development of science and technology, the cost of the cameras becomes more and more lower, the functions becomes more and more省 stronger and thus the amount of the people who own cameras is increasing. Nevertheless, the written record as the traditional means that was used from the beginning of letters would? also function as the indispensably forms on people's everyday documentation due to its distinctive characters.

In sum, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of video records. In fact, as every coin has two sides, every thing has its drawbacks. In order to document all kinds of aspects of our contemporary life effectively, people should combine the two forms by utilizing their advantages and shunning their shortcomings.

楼主的写作和我不太一样，但还是说通了．

文章结构还算完整，　有让步这一点很好，　但是感觉论证还不太充分，　可能是时间的原因吧．语法有点毛病．　题目没太扣准，看看鬼哥的分析，很独到．

先这吧，　提纲最好用英文写．

kkytUID: 188814

谢谢了,你的回拍完了,表建议

cocoahappyUID: 199585

Nowadays, owning to the progress of digital technology, the application of the video camera has been more and more popular. The speaker claims that it （个人感觉用it在这里不是太合适，video camera直接指待似乎更清楚哦）is a more important means of documenting contemporary life than a written record. In my idea（不太正式哦）, both the video camera and the written records have their own advantages and disadvantages, and play significant role on people' documentation.

To begin with, the video cameras serve as the means that more vivid and accuracy(that are more vivid and accurate) than the written records for the purpose of documenting the(the 可以去掉) temporal, mobile and evanescent experiences and scenes. For instance, by virtue of cameras, a football coach would record the behaviors of his players and the opponents. Obviously, by these records, a coach can analyze the misdeeds of his players, the style of his opponents, and the strategy he would take in the future. To the contrary, it is impossible for a coach， no matter how keen he is to describe all the details in the match through words. Likely, as we know, the（the 可以去掉） video cameras would record both pictures and sounds about the objects, while words can not do it. The comment in a piece of paper about (on)an evening party can not “replay” the euphonious songs, vivid actions, passionate ambience as accurately or objectively as a video record. （这句话写得不错，学习一下：））Therefore, as far as the animate and accurate features of the cameras are concerned, video cameras indeed are more effective than written records.

However, when it comes to the convenience and certain(certain 是确定的意思，你是要说某些么？，some） other purposes, written records are advantageous to and more appropriate than video records. Undoubtedly, the cameras seem as clumsier and than written records(这句话不太明白). For example, when we are ambling on the streets, we would write down what we had seen with pencils, but few of people would be incline to take their heavy cameras by aimless. (这个理由有一定道理，但是很容易被攻击，因为Dv已经越来越popular,如果要用的话，建议放在后面稍微提一下)oreover, a video camera is of little use to document a person’s subjective state of mind, （和我一样一个动词用得太多了，document）impressions, and reflections of his experiences. For example, by reading the old man and the sea, Hemingway's famous works, people may savor the courage, hardships indomitable spirits of the old man fighting with the bad environments between the lines, whereas, if Hemingway had merely recorded some pictures and sound of the sea, his aims and ideas would have certainly not been achieved. Thus, actually, reading books is the communication with their writers（communication between writers and readers）. Through reading, people can appreciate the authors' ideas and (去and, )experiences and spirits. Just as the old saying once said that reading, we will gain success and fortune through reading, the written record indeed gives people more insightful meaning than the dull(why dull ,似乎缺乏客观性，inane 空洞的，你觉得如何呢？) pictures and sound.
这段写得略有些薄弱，我觉得camera and video与书本相比缺点在于，他提供了足够具体的细节，同时也限制和忽略了其他的细节，而我们成为了纯粹的被动的接受者，lack of space for affluent imagination.

Admittedly, in our contemporary life, with the development of science and technology, the cost of the cameras becomes more and more lower, the functions becomes more and more stronger and thus the amount of the people who own cameras is increasing. Nevertheless, the written record as the traditional means that was used from the beginning of letters would also function as the indispensably forms on people's everyday documentation due to its distinctive( characters(indispensable advantages).

In sum, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of video records. In fact, as every coin has two sides, every thing has its drawbacks. In order to document all kinds of aspects of our contemporary life effectively, people should combine the two forms by utilizing their advantages and shunning their shortcomings. (收尾不错)
本人作文水平也不高，提的意见有限。你的句子比我写得好哦，要向你学习，嘿嘿。

kkytUID: 188814

cocoahappy, wx8348谢谢你的修改, 学习ying继续关注你们的文章

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

占一个,晚上拍

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
摄像机可以通过如此精确而有力的记录手段来再现当代生活，因此它已经代替书面记录成为了一种更重要的记录手段。
观点；都重要
BI video cameras 在记录某些短暂的，动态的 易逝的场景时比written record 更生动准确。 比如足球比赛，晚会
B2在轻便和记录某些思想时，written record 比video cameras 更有效。如闲逛的时候，没有人会经常带着笨拙的摄象机，海明威的著作“老人与海”
B3不可否认，当今社会随着科技的发展，camera的价格越来越低，功能越来越强大，用的人越来越多，但written 作为古老的方法不会消失。提纲还8错！

Nowadays, owning to the progress of digital technology, the application of the video camera has been more and more popular. The speaker claims that it is a more important means of documenting contemporary life than a written record. In my idea, both the video camera and the written records have their own advantages and disadvantages, and play significant role on people' documentation.

To begin with, the video cameras serve as the means that more vivid and accuracy than the written records for the purpose of documenting the temporal, mobile and evanescent experiences and scenes. For instance, by virtue of cameras, a football coach would record the behaviors of his players and the opponents. Obviously, by these records, a coach can analyze the misdeeds of his players, the style of his opponents, and the strategy he would take in the future. To the contrary, it is impossible for a coach no matter how keen he is to describe all the details in the match through words. Likely, as we know, the video cameras would record both pictures and sounds about the objects, while words can not do it. The comment in a piece of paper about an evening party can not “replay” the euphonious songs, vivid actions, passionate ambience as accurately or objectively as a video record. Therefore, as far as the animate and accurate features of the cameras are concerned, video cameras indeed are more effective than written records. 例子8错。但偶不明白，为什么对vedio cameras 可以 convincing record 一点也不提及呢？

However, when it comes to the convenience and certain other purposes, written records are advantageous to and more appropriate than video records. Undoubtedly, the cameras seem as clumsier and than written records. For example, when we are ambling on the streets, we would write down what we had seen with pencils, but few of people would be incline to take their heavy cameras by aimless. Moreover, a video camera is of little use to document a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, and reflections of his experiences. For example, by reading the old man and the sea, Hemingway's famous works, people may savor the courage, hardships indomitable spirits of the old man fighting with the bad environments between the lines, whereas, if Hemingway had merely recorded some pictures and sound of the sea, his aims and ideas would have certainly not been achieved. Thus, actually, reading books is the communication with their writers. Through reading, people can appreciate the authors' ideas and experiences and spirits. Just as the old saying once said that reading, we will gain success and fortune through reading, the written record indeed give people more insightful meaning than the dull pictures and sound.观点还可以。再不好意思地问一下，是不是将convincing与convenience看混了？所以这里论述cameras的不方便 :o

Admittedly, in our contemporary life, with the development of science and technology, the cost of the cameras becomes more and more lower, the functions becomes more and more stronger and thus the amount of the people who own cameras is increasing. Nevertheless, the written record as the traditional means that was used from the beginning of letters would also function as the indispensably forms on people's everyday documentation due to its distinctive characters.

In sum, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of video records. In fact, as every coin has two sides, every thing has its drawbacks. In order to document all kinds of aspects of our contemporary life effectively, people should combine the two forms by utilizing their advantages and shunning their shortcomings.

至少写得比偶强！一起加油吧！