ISSUE7 同主题 大家给拍拍，先谢了！有拍必回！

sxleeUID: 200505

Issue7
------摘要------
共用时间： 50分 547 words
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
The rapid development of technology has brought us a more powerful means for documenting: the video camera. And it has been used so widely that no one can escape the influence of it in our daily lives. Therefore some people come to the conclusion that video records have become a more important form of documentation than written records due to their ability to provide an accurate and convincing record of cotemporary life. However, in my part, while I concede that the video camera has its own distinctive characteristics that make impossible its wide-spread, it may be too early to say that its importance has outweighed the written records’.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that the video camera can provide a more accurate and convincing record of certain events and human experience. Owning to its ability to "replay" what has past to some extent, it can afford us the possibility to enjoy the past that may has a significant meaning, especially those spatial and temporal events. No one would deny that those vivid pictures and clear images can indeed do a better job than any written records. For example, only by watching the video record of the moment when the President of the International Olympic Organization announced that Beijing will be the hold city of the 2008th Olympic Games can we really enjoy the great happiness and excitement of this historical events; also only by replaying the video of the very moment when Liu Xiang--the champion of one hundred meter hurdle race in 2004 Athens Olympic Games--can we getting the great proud of making a breakthrough in the area of race sports.

On the other hand, compared to written records, video records also have many drawbacks which make it impossible for them to completely replace written records. First, when it comes to the documentation of human's subjective state of mind, impression, and reflection, video records surely cannot serve the purpose of providing more accurate and convincing records. Some may argue that through the video records we can also get the information on the feeling of person as well as the fact of what has happened. They may cite the example of Liu Xiang' touching of the final line to support this point that we can easily know that at the very moment Liu Xiang was very excited and happy. But it is far from enough. What he felt, what he wanted to say, or who he wanted to thank for can only be conveyed to us by written records, whether it is by him-self or other journalists. Secondly, the same holds true to the documenting of certain statistical or quantitative information. Watching the video camera can hardly informs us the accurate details on such things as how many people participated in a demonstration, how many people were injured in a accident. On the contrary, only written records can tell the feelings of people such as what they think and feel about an event or a person.

To sum up, although the video camera and written records may do a different job, they both serve well in providing us all sorts of useful information. And we should make full use of them instead of only recognizing the importance of one means while neglecting the others’.

sxleeUID: 200505

自己up 一下！！

smartyrUID: 169453

我来报仇了！！！
No.1 ISSUE7 同主题 大家给拍拍，先谢了！有拍必回！
Issue7
------摘要------
共用时间： 50分 547 words
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
The rapid development of technology has brought us a more powerful means for documenting: the video camera. And it has been used so widely that no one can escape the influence of it in our daily lives. Therefore some people come to the conclusion that video records have become a more important form of documentation than written records due to their ability to provide an accurate and convincing record of cotemporary life. However, in my part, while I concede that the video camera has its own distinctive characteristics that make impossible its wide-spread,make its wide-spread impossible行吗？ it may be too early 我觉得用hasty or arbitrary to conclude thatto say that its importance has outweighed the written records’.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that the video camera can provide a more accurate and convincing record of certain events and human experience. Owning to its ability to "replay" what has past to some extent, it can afford us the possibility to enjoy the past that may has a significant meaning, especially those spatial and temporal eventsespecially those spatial and temporal events这句话不完整. No one would deny that those vivid pictures and clear images can indeed do a better job than any written records. For example, only by watching the video record of the moment when the President of the International Olympic Organization announced that Beijing will be the hold city of the 2008th Olympic Games can we really enjoy the great happiness and excitement of this historical events; also only by replaying the video of the very moment when Liu Xiang--the champion of one hundred meter hurdle race in 2004 Athens Olympic Games--can we getting the great proud of making a breakthrough in the area of race sports.

On the other hand, compared to written records, video records also have many drawbacks which make it impossible for them to completely replace written records.more important than 不等于replace!建议你不用这个
First, when it comes to the documentation of human's subjective state of mind, impression, and reflection, video records surely cannot serve the purpose of providing more accurate and convincing records. 这里是没有说服力的。前面说video 可以accurate and convinceing，这里又说不行!矛盾，。建议换一个缓和点的词！Some may argue that through the video records we can also get the information on the feeling of person as well as the fact of what has happened. They may cite the example of Liu Xiang' touching of the final line to support this point that we can easily know that at the very moment Liu Xiang was very excited and happy. But it is far from enough. What he felt, what he wanted to say, or who he wanted to thank for can only be conveyed to us by written records, whether it is by him-self or other journalists. 怎么不可以呢？？
甚至更为直接。采访就行了！这里经不起推敲！Secondly, the same holds true to the documenting of certain statistical or quantitative information. Watching the video camera can hardly informs us the accurate details on such things as how many people participated in a demonstration, how many people were injured in a accident. On the contrary, only written records can tell the feelings of people such as what they think and feel about an event or a person. 这段论证要加强！

To sum up, although the video camera and written records may do a different job, do different jobsthey both serve well in providing us all sorts of useful information. And we should make full use of them instead of only recognizing the importance of one means while neglecting the others’.
总的来说句式不错，但逻辑欠佳！

绞尽脑汁UID: 143951

The rapid development of technology has brought us a more powerful means for documenting: the video camera. And it has been used so widely that no one can escape the influence of it in our daily lives. Therefore some people come to the conclusion that video records have become a more important form of documentation than written records due to their ability to provide an accurate and convincing record of cotemporary life. However, in my part, while I concede that the video camera has its own distinctive characteristics that make impossible its wide-spread, it may be too early to say that its importance has outweighed the written records’

开头太长！！
therefore这句完全多余。改作文的人只在乎你的观点，别人怎么想他们不管。
况且这么长的开头到真实考试的时候是很不利的。
开头完全可以用两三句话的模板把观点摆明，重要的是你下面的论证！

sxleeUID: 200505

收到了，谢谢两位！！

sxleeUID: 200505

开头是长了些，我是想重复一下题目，多余了！！

B2写的时候不知怎么好了，现在看来逻辑是大问题啊！！以后改正！

再次谢谢两位，我的文章终于被拍了！！