Argu 235，第一篇，严重超时，着急啊

AlierUID: 159518

rt！
今天看了很多前辈的经验总结，但真正自己开始写，还是超时了很多，而且感觉写得不是很连贯。自己已经改了一遍了，大家帮忙看看，我该在哪些方面改进啊。。谢谢！
Argument235  第6篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：64分9秒     257 words
从2005年3月2日17时44分到2005年3月2日18时64分
------题目------
The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.
'Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners has recently declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics.'
------正文------
In the argument, the author concludes that their radio station KNOW should programming in new format instead of previous rock-and-roll music.To justify this view, he tried finding support from the paradox between increasing number of people in their listening area and decreasing number of listeners, from the decrease of record sale in stores, and from a survey showed people are inclined to listen politic news. While it may seem reasonable at first glance, actually, none of the talking points he listed is supportive to his conclusion.

To begin with, the phenomenon that the total number of their listeners declines while the number of older people increases does not necessarily imply people's no longer interest in rock-and-roll music. The author fails to take other possible factors into consideration. For example, if the increased old people come from other places, then it is quite possible that they may not have the habit of listening to the radio. Or it is equally possible that they may be not familiar with the timetable of the program KNOW broadcast even if they like to listen to the radio. These all could lead to the temporary decrease of KNOW's listeners. Based on this phenomenon alone without evaluating on such possibilities may lead the author to make false decisions.

Further, the author falsely equates the decreased sale of records with the decrease of people's love on rock-and-roll music. There are many factors that may lead to decreased sales in music stores in their area. It is of possibility that the record price rises or the citizen's income lowers that leading to less sale of records. It is also probable that the records of other types of music, say hop-pop, disc,classic, sells bad than before and thus affect the total sales, even if the rock-and-roll music records sells better. Thus it is somewhat hasty  for the author to conclude without careful inspection on the detailed sale condition of rock-and-roll music.

Finally, the success of neighboring stations and the survey cited by the author could not lend any support to his point. First, the situation in other cities is not necessarily analogous to that in the area that station KNOW covers, thus adopting the neighboring station's strategy may be not wise. Supposedly, if people in the neighboring cities are in lack of other possible access to news, such as the tv, the internet, then they undoubtedly have to get  the news from listening to the radio. Or because they are busier than people in the area KNOW covers, it is more convenient for them to listening to the radio to get news when driving or working.  Also, the survey author cites is actually meaningless in conducing the conclusion. It is possible that people show greater interest on politic news just because of the recent election. Even if the local citizens are really concerned with politics, it dose not necessarily lead to the success of news broadcast radio program. Faced with many choices, it is imaginable that local citizens may choose to obtain information from other channels.

To sum up, the author's conclusion is groundless and unacceptable for its several flaws. To make it more convincing,  the author needs to do more detailed survey on the local listeners, more accurate inspection of market and more careful evaluation of citizen's likes and hates.

AlierUID: 159518

顶一下，大家帮帮忙看看吧～
谢谢

千翼UID: 199721

占个位，等一下回

千翼UID: 199721

In the argument, the author concludes that their radio station KNOW should programming inprogram new format instead of previous rock-and-roll music.To justify this view, he tried finding support from the paradox between the increasing number of people in their listening area and the decreasing number of listeners, from the decrease ofin record sale in stores, and from a survey showed people are inclined to listen politic news. While it may seem reasonable at first glance, actually, none of the talking points he listed is supportive to his conclusion.

To begin with, the phenomenon that the total number of their listeners declines while the number of older people increases does not necessarily imply people's no longer interestinterests in rock-and-roll music. The author fails to take other possible factors into consideration. For example, if the increased old people come from other places, then it is quite possible that they may not have the habit of listening to the radio. Or it is equally possible that they may be not familiar with the timetable of the program KNOW broadcast even if they like to listen to the radio. 什么意思？这句看不太明白These all could lead to the temporary decrease of KNOW's listeners. Based on this phenomenonoccurrence alone without evaluating on such possibilities may lead the author to make false decisions.

Further, the author falsely equates the decreased sale of records with the decrease of people's love on rock-and-roll music. There are many factors that may lead to decreased sales in music stores in their areas. It is of possibility that the record price rises or the citizen's income lowers that leading to less sale of records. It is also probable that the records of other types of music, say hop-pop, disc,classic, sellssell badfar worse than before and thus affect the total sales, even if the rock-and-roll music records sells better. Thus it is somewhat hasty for the author to conclude without careful inspection on the detailed sale condition of rock-and-roll music.

Finally, the success of neighboring stations and the survey cited by the author could not lend any support to his point. First, the situation in other cities is not necessarily analogous to that in the area that station KNOW covers, thus adopting the neighboring station's strategy may be not wise. Supposedly, if people in the neighboring cities are in lack of other possible access to news, such as the tv, the internet去掉the, then they undoubtedly have to get the news from listening to the radio. Or because they are busier than people in the area KNOW covers, it is more convenient for them to listeninglisten to the radio to get换一下，重复gain news when driving or working. Also, the survey author cites is actually meaningless in conducing the conclusion. It is possible that people show greater interest on politic news just because of the recent election. Even if the local citizens are really concerned with politics, it dose not necessarily lead to the success of news broadcast radio program. Faced with many choices, it is imaginable that local citizens may choose to obtain information from other channels.

To sum up, the author's conclusion is groundless and unacceptable for its several flaws. To make it more convincing, the author needs to do more detailed survey on the local listeners, more accurate inspection of market and more careful evaluation of citizen's likes and hates.

整体还可以，有些用词有问题，继续努力！我也是这个毛病