Issue 7 同主题,限时,来拍吧

sblbaslerUID: 175229

Issue7  第N篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：42分32秒     601 words
从2005年3月3日22时18分到2005年3月3日23时42分
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
Widespread of electrics has been one of the most significant mark of today's society, it influenced the course of industrialization, helped us release from the drudgery of manual chores and labor, even changed the way we observe and record our life. Thus there exists a popular belief that the video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that the written records have decayed its significance and use. Just logical this argument may be, however, I advocate that no matter how powerful the video camera demonstrates to be, one cannot discard the written records.

First, the last two decades witnessed a trend that video camera plays an increasingly essential role in every corner of the society. Indeed it has its merit. By utilizing video camera, we can tell our sons and daughters a more vivid story about Iraq War than any storyteller; In terms of video camera, we can show our sons and daughters around the world with a least inexpensive way, but avoid to lose its beauty; Through the video camera, we can lose the kind of fear that we would be cheated by our ears and increase the courage that the fact would be demonstrated by the eyes. Video camera teaches us to depict the world and life in an accurate way, to check the world and life in a convincing way, to act in the society in a decent way and more. Therefore, by video camera, we lit a fire in the life of men. It warms those who feel its power. It burns those who abuse its function, or they burn themselves.

Second, in the roaring 20th century that faced with the various creations of objects, we seem to forget one of our old friends------ written records that accompanied us since prehistoric time. Before the recent decades, because of its almost unfailing consistency as an embellishment in many societies, it may respond to our biological and psychological needs in the society. Today this fact seems to face great challenge with the new creations, the most competitive of which is video camera. However, written records have not loosened their vigorous. Although we can access a more accurate description of Iraq War, without written records our heart cannot connect with our eyes------- we are not inspired; although we can show around the world to our sons and daughters before the computer, without written records we cannot understand the depth of the beauty. Also the written records encourage our imagination rather than confine us with the conformed picture in our minds: by reading ancient Greek mythology everyone could have his Aphrodite or her Apollo; everyone could own his brave Hedes or her frightened Zeus; everyone could possess his great mother Hera or her kind aunty Demeter. This is exact what human should do with his or her mind and heart. This is the very core of value the written records boast and the very restriction the video camera deserves. Therefore no matter how alleged civilization a society develops, without written records of a society is similar in that without wings of an eagle. The only identical result lies between them is nothing but failure.

To sum up, video camera boasts its own merit, though, suffers its vital points as well-------- lack of reliability, easy to be changed. Written records will still swim in the river of history as a fish which can benefit us as well, will still stand in edge of earth for supporting our world as a Titan, will still run in the body of human as impetus for generating the progress in the future.

poohUID: 146994

请不要重复发帖，:)

sblbaslerUID: 175229

不好意思，是发的时候太慢点了好多下，

sblbaslerUID: 175229

UP

鬼谷子UID: 159645

Issue7 第N篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：42分32秒 601 words
从2005年3月3日22时18分到2005年3月3日23时42分
------题目------
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
------正文------
Widespread of electrics has been one of the most significant mark of today's society, 【我觉得这个可以用As one。。。mark，the widespread of 。。。influenced。。舒服一点，你现在的写法实际上是两句】it influenced the course of industrialization, helped us release from the drudgery of manual chores and labor, even changed the way we observe and record our life. 【感觉从电到VC这个过渡不是很好】Thus there exists a popular belief that the video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that the written records have decayed its significance and use. Just logical this argument may be, however, I advocate that no matter how powerful the video camera demonstrates 【is demonstrated】to be, one cannot discard the written records. 【这里应该不是说VC，应该说VC的record】

First, the last two decades witnessed a trend that video camera plays an increasingly essential role in every corner of the society.【 说的没错，不过，对于论点来说，不够直接，每个角落，跟记录有什么关系呢？】 Indeed it has its merit. By utilizing video camera, we can tell our sons and daughters a more vivid story about Iraq War than any storyteller; 【 than的应该是讲故事的人吗？应该是written record才对啊】In terms of video camera, we can show our sons and daughters around the world with a least inexpensive way, but avoid to lose its beauty; 【含糊】Through the video camera, we can lose the kind of fear that we would be cheated by our ears and increase the courage that the fact would be demonstrated by the eyes. 【表达不清】Video camera teaches us to depict the world and life in an accurate way, to check the world and life in a convincing way, to act in the society in a decent way and more. Therefore, by video camera, we lit a fire in the life of men. It warms those who feel its power. It burns those who abuse its function, or they burn themselves. 【说出来的不是证出来的，而且，你几次提到告诉我们的儿女如何如何，如果你把记录定义为这样的话，是否应该有所交代呢？】

Second, in the roaring 20th century that faced with the various creations of objects, we seem to forget one of our old friends------ written records that accompanied us since prehistoric time. 【这个有点夸张了，那个算不算written，算不算record还不一定呢】 Before the recent decades, because of its almost unfailing consistency as an embellishment in many societies, it may respond to our biological and psychological needs in the society. 【？】Today this fact seems to face great challenge with the new creations, the most competitive of which is video camera. However, written records have not loosened 【lost？】their vigorous. Although we can access a more accurate description of Iraq War, without written records our heart cannot connect with our eyes------- we are not inspired; although we can show around the world to our sons and daughters before the computer, without written records we cannot understand the depth of the beauty. Also the written records encourage our imagination rather than confine us with the conformed picture in our minds: by reading ancient Greek mythology everyone could have his Aphrodite or her Apollo; everyone could own his brave Hedes or her frightened Zeus; everyone could possess his great mother Hera or her kind aunty Demeter. This is exact what human should do with his or her mind and heart. This is the very core of value the written records boast and the very restriction the video camera deserves. Therefore no matter how alleged civilization a society develops, without written records of a society is similar in that without wings of an eagle. The only identical result lies between them is nothing but failure. 【论述的混乱，感觉你的思路不够清晰，写的时候有点找不到方向的感觉】

To sum up, video camera boasts its own merit, though, suffers its vital points as well-------- lack of reliability, easy to be changed. Written records will still swim in the river of history as a fish which can benefit us as well, will still stand in edge of earth for supporting our world as a Titan, will still run in the body of human as impetus for generating the progress in the future.

    【我觉得你这篇文章写的不成功，应该是下笔之前思考的不够吧。加油！】