寄托天下
查看: 2102|回复: 5

[i习作temp] ISSUE 30 同主题 欢迎拍砖, 必回!! [复制链接]

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1040
注册时间
2005-3-13
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2005-4-4 11:37:18 |显示全部楼层
ISSUE 30
-----------简介-----------
作者:sxlee      45mins   523ws
-----------题目----------
30"The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."
-----------正文-----------
The speaker's claim is actually threefold: (1) that the primary goal of technological advancement is to increase people's efficiency; (2) and that the ultimate purpose of technological advancement is to provide us more leisure time;(3) and that the improved efficiency will lead to more leisure time. In my observation, while I wholeheartedly agree with the first contention, I strongly disagree with the second contention, as illustrated below.

Consider the speaker's first claim, the increasingly rapid development of technology does increase people's efficiency. Over the past centuries, we have witnessed an unprecedented change of our lives caused by the ever-changing scientific and technological progress. Take, for example, automation technology has significantly improved our efficiency by performing repetitive tasks with great accuracy and speed. Also it has reduced the time spend on some potentially dangerous tasks which can hardly done by human beings and thus consume a large amount of time. Another convincing example has to do with the technological advancement in the transportation system, in which the widely use of more efficient vehicles, such as trains and planes, has significantly improved our mobility. Finally, the advances in information technology have brought us a smaller world in which you can communicate with almost everyone over the world without any difficulties. All these serve to support the claim that the result of the technological advancement is our increased efficiency.

Consider the second claim, I totally disagree with that the ultimate goal of technological advancement is to increase our leisure time. In fact, this claim runs contrary to the essence of the technological progress. Nowadays, all what the human have achieved aims to propel the society and improve people's lives, which is not predicated on how long our leisure time is, but rather on many other important factors. For example, advances in medical and medicine technology have helped prevent, cure, treat lots of diseases which have inflict on us, and thus enable us to lead a healthier and prolonged life. Or consider the advances in agriculture technology, which have brought us a great amount of green food that is more conducive to our health state than the foods that have been polluted by many poisonous chemicals.

Finally, consider the third contention, in marked contrast to what the speaker asserts, the efficiency brought by the technological advancement has greatly diminished our leisure time, rather than increasing it. It is mainly because that modern society is becoming more and more competitive due to the efficiency the technological improvement has given us. In order to survive this severe competition, all the society members must make every effect to keep with the rapid pace of society progress. Ample evidence from our day-to-day life can aptly illustrate this point. For example, the employees in most companies are working much busier than before because of their employer's high expectation, which has came along with the improved efficiency. Thus, we have been deprived most of our leisure time by the development of technology.

To sum up, the technological advancement indeed has increased our efficiency, but it did not increase our leisure time at all. On the contrary, it has diminished our free time significantly.
I believe I can fly!--to America!!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1040
注册时间
2005-3-13
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2005-4-4 14:27:57 |显示全部楼层
up 一下!!
I believe I can fly!--to America!!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
566
注册时间
2004-6-10
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2005-4-4 14:57:24 |显示全部楼层

Re: ISSUE 30 同主题 欢迎拍砖, 必回!!

The speaker's claim is actually threefold: (1) that the primary goal of technological advancement is to increase people's efficiency; (2) and that the ultimate purpose of technological advancement is to provide us more leisure time;(3) and that the improved efficiency will lead to more leisure time. In my observation, while I wholeheartedly agree with the first contention, I strongly disagree with the second contention, as illustrated below.开头很新颖阿。不过…对于第三条是什么态度呢?

Consider the speaker's first claim, the increasingly rapid development of technology does increase people's efficiency. Over the past centuries, we have witnessed an unprecedented change of our lives caused by the ever-changing scientific and technological progress. Take, for example, automation technology has significantly improved our efficiency by performing repetitive tasks with great accuracy and speed. Also it has reduced the time spend on some potentially dangerous tasks which can hardly done by human beings and thus consume a large amount of time. Another convincing example has to do has something to do吧?感觉related with or lies in 好一些with the technological advancement in the transportation system, in which the widely use of more efficient vehicles, such as trains and planes, has significantly improved our mobility. Finally, the advances in information technology have brought us a smaller world in which you can communicate with almost everyone over the world without any 太绝对了,去掉anydifficulties. All these serve to support the claimgood expression that the result of the technological advancement is our increased efficiency.

Considering the second claim, I totally disagree with that the ultimate goal of technological advancement is to increase our leisure time. In fact, this claim runs contrary to the essence of the technological progress. Nowadays, all what the human have achieved aims to propel the society and improve people's lives, which is not predicated on how long our leisure time is, but rather on many other important factors. For example, advances in medical and medicine medical 包括medicine吧technology have helped prevent, cure, treat lots of diseases which have inflict on us, and thus enable us to lead a healthier and prolonged life. Or consider the advances in agriculture technology, which have brought us a great amount of green food that is more conducive to our health state than the foods that have been polluted by many poisonous chemicals. 第一个例子感觉比第二个例子好。后者太绝对了,好多农业进展阿

Finally, consider the third contentionhehe,不要老用consider嘛, in marked contrast to what the speaker asserts, the efficiency brought by the technological advancement has greatly diminished our leisure time, rather than increasing it. It is mainly because that modern society is becoming more and more competitive due to the efficiency the technological improvement has given us. In order to survive this severe competition, all the society members must make every effect to keep with the rapid pace of society progress. Ample evidences from our day-to-day life can aptly illustrate this pointgood expression!. For example, the employees in most companies are working much busier than before because of their employer's high expectation, which has came along with the improved efficiency. Thus, we have been deprived most of our leisure time by the development of technology. 感觉有点绝对。提到ample evidences,但只用了一个employees in most company。而且company是不是有most那么严重也没证明

To sum up, the technological advancement indeed has increased our efficiency, but it did not increase our leisure time at allat all太严重了. On the contrary, it has diminished our free time significantly.

语言很不错啊。这篇文章我也写了,我们的想法有不少相似的地方,有空互拍阿. 加油!
习作,有空就扔块砖,一起学习,谢谢!
[修改中...]
Issue41主流非主流科学同主题
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread....threadid=263370
Issue159机器与人的优越性比较
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?threadid=262804
Argument10奶制品价格
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?threadid=262448
Issue30同主题科技进步与闲暇时间
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=261848
Issue43政治领袖和道德标准
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?threadid=261666
Issue19社会成功与个人
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?threadid=260131
Issue196科技带来危害[二楼]
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256589
修改后
Issue7摄像记录比文字记录好
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=260827
Issue10同主题城市文化
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=259506
Issue138失败与成功:
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?threadid=258859
Issue196面向个人的教育:
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256589
我写argument错误太多,需要改正...
Argument45北极鹿数量下降(四楼)
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=258873
Argument187 吃鱼和精神紧张
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=260303
---------------------
Issue51教育满足个人需求
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=257815
issue51 by猫猫624
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&postid=1321859#post1321859
鬼谷子开头范例分析
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=254789
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=253394

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1040
注册时间
2005-3-13
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2005-4-4 17:57:45 |显示全部楼层
谢谢neverfly:

开头我是忘了第三条了!

我的例子匮乏啊,应该加强!!  谢谢了!!

以后多拍啊!1
I believe I can fly!--to America!!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 16Rank: 16Rank: 16Rank: 16

声望
19
寄托币
49553
注册时间
2003-6-1
精华
40
帖子
59

Scorpio天蝎座 荣誉版主

发表于 2005-4-5 02:03:06 |显示全部楼层
The speaker's claim is actually threefold: (1) that the primary goal of technological advancement is to increase people's efficiency; (2) and that the ultimate purpose of technological advancement is to provide us more leisure time;(3) and that the improved efficiency will lead to more leisure time. In my observation, while I wholeheartedly agree with the first contention, I strongly disagree with the second contention, as illustrated below.啥意思,怎么少了一个,后面似乎说是decrease leisure time了,记得不上,这个开头有点意思,但要细心一点

Consider the speaker's first claim, the increasingly rapid development of technology does increase people's efficiency.
讲科技进步提高效率Over the past centuries, we have witnessed an unprecedented change of our lives caused by the ever-changing scientific and technological progress这个的地方可以写的生动一点,the past centuries have witnessed …这是很经典的句式了,学会用. Take, for example, automation technology has significantly improved our efficiency by performing repetitive tasks with great accuracy and speed. Also it has reduced the time spend on some potentially dangerous tasks which can hardly done by human beings and thus consume a large amount of time. Another convincing example has to do with lies inthe technological advancement in the transportation system, in which the widely use of more efficient vehicles, such as trains and planes, has significantly improved our mobility. Finally, the advances in information technology have brought us a smaller world in which you can communicate with almost everyone over the world without any difficulties. All these serve to support the claim that the result of the technological advancement is our increased efficiency.【论述很好,几个例子也很恰当的说明科技提高效率的问题】

Considering the second claim, I totally disagree with that the ultimate goal of technological advancement is to increase our leisure time.
不同意科技进步增加leisure timeIn fact, this claim runs contrary to the essence of the technological progress. Nowadays, all what the human have achieved aims to propel the society and improve people's lives, which is not predicated on how long our leisure time is, but rather on many other important factors. For example, advances in medical and medicine technologydrug discovers and medical techniques have helped prevent, cure, treatprevent and/or treat lots of diseases which have inflict on usthat disturbed us greatly, and thus enable us to leadlive a healthier and prolonged life. Or consider the advances in agriculture technology, which have brought us a great amount of green food that is more conducive to our health state than the foods that have been polluted by many poisonous chemicals.
科技进步的本质是提高人们的生活水平,AT的例子咱的就毒人了呢?不太恰当

Finally, consider the third contention in marked contrast to what the speaker asserts, the efficiency brought by the technological advancement has greatly diminished our leisure time, rather than increasing it. It is mainly because that modern society is becoming more and more competitive due to the efficiency the technological improvement has given us. In order to survive from this severe competition, all the society members must make every effect to keep with the rapid pace of society progress. Ample evidence from our day-to-day life can aptly illustrate this point For example, the employees in most companies are working much busier than before because of their employer's high expectation, which has came along with the improved efficiency. Thus, we have been deprived most of our leisure time by the development of technology. 这段讲科技进步实则减少leisure time,举了工业上的例子,没有澄清雇主高期望和高效率的关系,咋就得出雇主高期望会导致leisure time被deprived的呢?说说清楚

To sum up, the technological advancement indeed has increased our efficiency, but it did not increase our leisure time at all. On the contrary, it has diminished our free time significantly.

文章还需加油
重返寄托

三十而立 战战兢兢
如临深渊 如履薄冰

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1040
注册时间
2005-3-13
精华
0
帖子
4
发表于 2005-4-5 13:02:21 |显示全部楼层
终于挨到斑竹的砖头了,非常感谢!!

我回继续努力了,我18号考,还有几天!!

希望以后继续帮小弟啊!!!
I believe I can fly!--to America!!

使用道具 举报

RE: ISSUE 30 同主题 欢迎拍砖, 必回!! [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
ISSUE 30 同主题 欢迎拍砖, 必回!!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-261783-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部