ISSUE 30 第一次写同主题，欢迎拍砖！

AlierUID: 159518

------题目------
The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.
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In modern society, technology is quite a familiar word to almost every one. While we all naturally enjoy what technologies have brought us, probably no one has ever really thought of the problem concerning with the ultimate goal of technology advancement. Though technological advancement did greatly heighten our efficiency, it is far from the primary purpose of technological development. Actually, I think, the ultimate purpose of technological advancement is to make people's life much easier and happier.

Admittedly, it is true that the development of technology greatly promoted our work efficiency. Looking back to the history of industry, we can clearly see that every breakthrough were intrigued by new inventions that invariably heightened our work efficiency. The invention of steam engine, which emancipates people from simple repeated labor work, brought up the famous Industry Revolution. Then, the discovery of electricity raised our efficiency again and lay great influence on our life. Later, the invention of computer in the 20th century further facilitates our work, life, and brought fundamentally changes to our life style. Nowadays, the robots technology's advancement made it already possible for some robots to replace the human work, especially in those arduous and dangerous works. While these all indeed improve our efficiency, do they really enable us to enjoy more leisure time? In fact, our experiences are just opposite to this. With the advancement of technology, we feel busier and busier actually. The appearance of this paradox apparently warned us  it is time for us to inspect the true goal of technology development.

While the ultimate goal of our developing technology should be to provide people an easier and happier life, it is misleading and even harmful to consider the heightening of efficiency as our primary goal. If a technology that may improve our efficiency involves doing damage to our environment, it is of course should not be adopted. Supposedly, if our efficiency got heightened at the cost of environment, then even if we have more free time, what kind of view can we enjoy? What kind of air can we inhale? What kind of water can we drink? Definitely we won't live happy. Also, if a technology that heightens efficiency does harm to our health, it should be improved or even abandoned, too. Such kind of scandals is most easily seen in food production. If we encourage developing a technology as long as it helps to improve efficiency, then it is imaginable there will be many unhygienic food coming out, which definitely will do harm to our body. Moreover, if a technology's advancement tends to replace the work previously done by many employees and thus make them lay off, it is also not the situation that we want to see. Since our society is not developing quite on balance, such technological development only benefiting the minority of capitalists while harming the interest of the majority of ordinary workers will undoubtedly exaggerate this paradox and get far away from its ultimate goal of bringing people a happier life.

Therefore, in conclusion, by developing technology, we deem to make our life easier and happier. While this may unavoidably include the heightening of our efficiency, it should never be at the cost of our environment, our health and our society's stability and peace. Only if we realize the real purpose of technological advancement, can we really step out rightly towards our dreams.

AlierUID: 159518

自己顶一下，大家帮忙看看吧。。

KangxiaoluUID: 177984

正在看你的，晚上发上来！
我也是成都，4，29  一起努力...

KangxiaoluUID: 177984

实在觉得有必要好好“报答”你，所以没睡觉改完了。。。
In modern society, technology is quite a familiar word to almost every one. While we all naturally enjoy what technologies have brought us, probably no one has ever really thought of the problem concerning with the ultimate goal of technology advancement. Though technological advancement did greatly heighten our efficiency, it is far from the primary purpose of technological development. Actually, I think, the ultimate purpose of technological advancement is to make people's life much easier and happier.

Admittedly, it is true that the development of technology greatly promoted our work efficiency. Looking back to the history of industry, we can clearly see that every breakthrough were was intrigued by new inventions that invariably heightened our work efficiency. The invention of steam engine, which emancipates 看到别人用过be liberated from，一个意思，推荐给你，这里是不能用的，哈哈 people from simple repeated labor work, brought up the famous Industry Revolution. Then, the discovery of electricity raised our efficiency again and lay laid great influence on our life. Later, the invention of computer in the 20th century further facilitates our work, life, and brought fundamentally changes to our life style. Nowadays, the robots technology's advancement made it already possible for some robots to replace the human work made possible replacement of … human work, especially in those 去掉吧，前面没有说啊 arduous and dangerous works. While these 又来一个these, 加上technological advancement吧，你说呢？all indeed improve our efficiency, do they really enable us to enjoy more leisure time? In fact, our experiences are just opposite to this. With the advancement of technology, we feel busier and busier actually. The appearance of this paradox apparently warned us it is time for us to inspect the true goal of technology development. 这段感觉例子多了点，而且很集中，我觉得一句论述对应一个到两个例子足够了，例子堆在一起感觉很累论证力不强，郁闷啊，我的也是一样，建议你多看看强人例子怎么写的！

While the ultimate goal of our developing technology should be to provide people an easier and happier life, it is misleading and even harmful to consider the heightening of efficiency as our primary goal. If a technology that may improve our efficiency involves doing damage to our environment, it is of course should not be adopted.！这段你要的论证要好好想想，你说技术进步的目的不是提高效率而是给人们简单快乐的生活，那某些技术污染环境应该制止，能推翻技术的目的是提高效率吗，也许只能说明人们应该注重提高效率的方式，这是我的理解，不知道对不对，还有很多同主题文章也在最后一段写了自己对技术之根本目的的见解，你去看看，他们都是直接用例子支持自己论点，而且他们都比你多一个内容，就是多一段，具体批判效率并不是目的，已经把题目驳倒了，就能够容易的支持自己论点，Issue两段是不是太少了？ Supposedly, if our efficiency got heightened at the cost of environment, then even if we have more free time, what kind of view can we enjoy? What kind of air can we inhale? What kind of water can we drink? 这串排比感觉不好，请高人看看吧Definitely we won't live happy. Also, if a technology that heightens efficiency does harm to our health, it should be improved or even abandoned, too. Such kind of scandals is most easily seen in food production. If we encourage developing a technology as long as it helps to improve efficiency, then it is imaginable there will be many unhygienic food coming out, which definitely will do harm to our body. Moreover, if a technology's advancement tends to replace the work previously done by many employees and thus make them lay off, it is also not the situation that we want to see. Since our society is not developing quite on balance, such technological development only benefiting the minority of capitalists while harming the interest of the majority of ordinary workers will undoubtedly exaggerate this paradox and get far away from its ultimate goal of bringing people a happier life.这段的论证感觉比上段有力度，看出来是认真写的，但思路问题我在上面说了，你看是不是能将就着变成技术进步的确提高了效率，但是由于上述原因危害了人类生存，反而需要更多时间去补救，这样就跟leisure time联系起来了。再加上一段说While the ultimate goal of our developing technology should be to provide people an easier and happier life就好很多！改累了，开头结尾我没敢改，因为自己都在摸索，总的说你文章语言强与论证，多下点工夫，总比我语言论证都要大改的好！希望你继续努力，写了这么多以报答你对我的帮助，哈哈

Therefore, in conclusion, by developing technology, we deem to make our life easier and happier. While this may unavoidably include the heightening of our efficiency, it should never be at the cost of our environment, our health and our society's stability and peace. Only if we realize the real purpose of technological advancement, can we really step out rightly towards our dreams.

AlierUID: 159518

恩，谢谢楼上的。
大家一起努力吧～～

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

占一个