Issue 36 高频，大家来砸呀砸，我只有几天了

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

Issue36   
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The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
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Whether an individual's greatness is decided by their contemporaries, or by those who live after the individual is difficult problem full of complexity and controversy. I concede that many great individuals have won praise for what they have contributed by their contemporaries, however, I tend to agree the speaker's claim.

Admittedly, a myriad of preeminent individuals  have received respect from their contemporaries and been appraised high by people living at the same time for what they have contributed to the contemporary society. For example, Bill Gates's greatness is already secured for his great contribution of lifting American technology out of the doldrums during the 1970s and restoring America to the status of economic powerhouse and technological leader of the world. Also a myriad of scientists , such Marie Curie, Bohr, won the Nobel Prize for the prominent contribution to science and technology. Moreover, considering George Washington for example. When he died the  Nation mourned him for months. These examples illustrate that the significant contribution made by numberous great individuals from different areas can also be judged by their contemporaries.

In restrospect of history, the judgement of populace tends to follow the mainstream, which often involves political factor and does with interest of the government. Many great individuals were misunderstood by contemporaries. Mahatma Gandhi, a great man who never wavered in his unshakable belief in nonviolent protest and religious tolerance led  India for independence from Britain, was killed by an assassin as he walked through a crowed garden. Martin Luther king, a great man who worked for racial equality and civil rights in the United States of America, was also assassinated. Although one is now regarded as the father of India, and the other written into history, both of them were unfairly treated by the contemporaries for politcal reasons rooting in human narrow range of knowledge and nature of greedy and prejudice.

However, those whose greatness was belittled can be reverdicted with time passing by people living after them, and those whose contributions  were overevaluated can be fairly judged again. Nowadays we mourn Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King with all our respect and thank them for what they do without which lots of us would still suffer from oppressure and discrimination. In the realm of natural science, it is difficult to identify the greatness without history perspective. Any new knowladge and technology may be disaproved tommorrow. For example, DDT which was once largely used as presticide today have been prohibited from using by most countries for its accumutative poison in animals' body and undisposal pollution to environment. The reward for its inventor, Paul Muller, was regarded as a shame and mistake in the history of the Nobel Prize. Thus, some judgments from contemporaries would be limited, even false. A good example in political realm is Mao Zedong, the key founder of the People's Republic of China, who was once unduely regarded as the Red Sun among the contemporaries. Today people in China reconsider him as a great leader for his contribution and wrongdoings of lauching the Cultural Revolution and the Great Leap Forward. In this case, the greatness of individuals can be comparative verdicted by those who live after them.

In sum, although the speaker overlooks many great individuals whose achievement were broadly recognized as great event during their times, the greatness of individuals can be comparative fairly verdicted with the benefit of historical perspective.

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

咋没人拍呀，我都急坏了

AlierUID: 159518

------正文------

Whether an individual's greatness is decided by their contemporaries, or by those who live after the individual is difficult problem full of complexity and controversy. I concede that many great individuals have won praise for what they have contributed by their contemporaries, however, I tend to agree the speaker's claim.

Admittedly, a myriad of preeminent individuals have received respect from their contemporaries and been appraised high by people living at the same time for what they have contributed to the contemporary society. For example, Bill Gates's greatness is already secured for his great contribution of lifting American technology out of the doldrums during the 1970s and restoring America to the status of economic powerhouse and technological leader of the world.这个是bill gates搞定的么？ Also，there are a myriad of scientists , such as，这种语法错误要避免哦。Marie Curie, Bohr, whowon the Nobel Prize for the prominent contribution to science and technologywhich brought them great fame in their lifetime. Moreover, considering George Washington for example. When he died the Nation mourned him for months. These examplesall/invariably illustrate that the significant contribution made by numberousnumerous great individuals from different areas can also be judged by their contemporaries. 这句主宾似乎有点不对，是contribution被judge吗？我觉得应该是说这些人能被judged因为他们的contribution吧。

这里最好加上一个转折，做好和前文的过渡。In restrospect of history, the judgement of populace tends to follow the mainstream, which often involves political factor and does with interest of the government. Many great individuals were misunderstood by contemporaries. Mahatma Gandhi, a great man who never wavered in his unshakable belief in nonviolent protest and religious tolerance led India for independence from Britain, was killed by an assassin as he walked through a crowed garden. Martin Luther king, a great man who worked for racial equality and civil rights in the United States of America, was also assassinated. Although one is now regarded as the father of India, and the other written into history, both of them were unfairly treated by the contemporaries for politcal reasons rooting in human narrow range of knowledge and nature of greedy and prejudice.最后最好再加句结论，所以…应该被后人判断。

However, those whose greatness was belittled can be reverdicted with time passing by people living after them, and those whose contributions were overevaluated can be fairly judged again. 这里依然显得和前文联系得不好。Nowadays we mourn Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King with all our respect and thank them for what they do without which lots of us would still suffer from oppressure and discrimination. In the realm of natural science, it is difficult to identify the greatness without history perspective. Any new knowladge and technology may be disaproved tommorrow. For example, DDT which was once largely used as presticide today have been prohibited from using by most countries for its accumutative poison in animals' body and undisposal pollution to environment. The reward for its inventor, Paul Muller, was regarded as a shame and mistake in the history of the Nobel Prize. Thus, some judgments from contemporaries would be limited, even false. A good example in political realm is Mao Zedong, the key founder of the People's Republic of China, who was once unduely regarded as the Red Sun among the contemporaries. Today people in China reconsider him as a great leader for his contribution and wrongdoings of lauching the Cultural Revolution and the Great Leap Forward. In this case, the greatness of individuals can be comparative verdicted by those who live after them. 感觉你这段后面主要是在说自然科学中很多只能由后人判断伟大与否，那么我觉得你就应该把这个作为这段的主题，这样刚好与前段不重复－luther king和gandhi的例子，并且也不会显得这段内容很混乱。

In sum, although the speaker overlooks many great individuals whose achievement were broadly recognized as great event during their times, the greatness of individuals can be comparative fairly verdicted with the benefit of historical perspective.

总体上看，我觉得你这篇文章存在几个比较致命的问题
1.你的主题是agree with the claim，也就是说承认了...can be“only”judged by.....。既然是only了，那么你正文第二段感觉就是在推翻你的观点了。从整篇文章看来，你其实是不带only地承认作者的观点，那么主题句必须改一下，不能是单纯的agree。
2.感觉你各段中有堆叠例子的感觉。（呵呵，我是写不出来例子，sigh..）其实每个观点2个例子足够了，但是每个例子应该说透彻。－－这个我也是听来的，自己也正在学习中，嘿嘿。

对了。还有很多单词拼写和语法错误，我就没有一一改了，自己去改改印象深刻些。加油！大家一起努力吧～

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

BIll Gates 那个例子是北美范文里的，我自个拿来用

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

谢谢， 我好累，准备时间太短，不行再来一次

AlierUID: 159518

不要气馁嘛，只是这一篇审题不是太准，以后多注意一下就是了。
哪怕只剩一天也不能放弃哈。
相信“多点付出，总会多点收获嘛。”
加油，我限时都还没成功呢，也挺着急的，不过重要的是要静下心来，好好改进。
大家一起努力，千万不要放弃哦！

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

我也是不甘心，以后多拍拍大家，考完一定狂拍

点点滴滴走过UID: 195083

还是挺谢谢Alier，在最后给我鼓励