[文章]依照评分标准逐一分析一篇ETSissue6分范文

myown5891UID: 181125

issue: In our time, specialist of all kinds are highly ove-rated. We need more generalists--people who can provide broad perspectives.


1.complexity:提出问题的复杂性
一方面，Specialists are necessary in order to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new

information and knowledge.另一方面，over-specialization means narrow foci in which people can losethe larger picture.最后，

Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generlists are equally important.
2.insightful reasons:
讲specialists:1.to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge;
讲generalists:1.over-specialization means narrow foci; 2. Not only may over-specializationbe dangerous in terms of the truth,

purity and cohesion of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universal issues; 3. over-specialization means

personal and psychological compartmentalization.
3.persuasive examples:
讲specialists: 用了the head of Pharmacology at my university的话
讲generalists: No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails. Further, if we inspct

only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white.
4.well-focused:不跑题
逐段分析：
1段：提出论点call for a balance...(by the by,ETS给出的评语中对此段肯定有加："the introductory paragraph announces the

writer's position on the issue and provides the context within which the writer will developtaht position."可见context和

position重要性)
2段：先specialist are necessary to... 再As the head once said... 最后This illustrates the point that...
3段：对2段的小结simply put...
凡好文章的body都有一个侧重点，本文着重论证了generalists的不可或缺
4段：先分论点over-specialization means narrow foci...再有从反面说明what we learn may be irrelevant within the framework of a

broader perspective. 再正面提出sharing among specialists最后用两个分号隔开的句子把正反两个方面再说一次。
5段：先分论点over-specialization is dangerous in terms of...再正面说generalists的作用,从此句中出现了generalists,开始展开并且

将二者结合讨论了。接着来了个让步。最后在true advancement中体现generalist的作用(by the by, 窃以为本短的分论点与论证过程结合的

不紧密)
6段：先分论点over-specialization means compartmentalization(隔离（compartmentalization）倾向，孤立地处理实际上相倚的概念要素

，散失了他们相互作用的一面.)接着从pigeonholing too early和the loss of community来说。
7段：总结段。先分诉without generalists... without a society that recognizes the importance of generalities...最后把两者接合到

一起。
5. well-organized:
典型的对照式论证法
用transitional words衔接得很精当：simply put, on the other hand, not only..but it can also,further, finally, thus.
6. clearly and precisely:
论点明确，几个metaphor都用得很到位
7. fluently
8. varied sentence structure:
首段：In this era of... both positive and negative effects... call for...
2段:  Specialists are necessary in order to... assimilate... that+两个定语从句。 As the... said:"..."　This illustrate the

point that主语+is at a stage in which+定语从句+in order for our society to +不定式
3段： Simply put, without...our society would. While it was fine...,+对比，
4段： On the other hand, over-specializaiton means... No one can hope to... What... may be... but may be... Further, if...we

may conclude that...主语+must...Simply throwing out... means; it is only when one can make... that...强调句
5段：  Not only may...but it can also serve to... Generalists and only generalists can... With specialization, each person

focuses on... Thus, industrialization... are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can...+定语从句
6段： Finally, over-specialization means... People are forced... and must... Not only does this make for... but it

guarantees...
7段： Without generalists, society becomes... Without a society that +定语从句, individual become... Thus,

while...generalists are equally... Specialists drive us... while generalists make sure...
9.effective vocabulary:
era, increasing life complexity, psychological displacement, call for a balance, properly and usefully assimilate, the masses

of new information, come out of, widely disseminated though, global mass media, turn for basic knowledge, narrowly focussed

individuals, add one small rung to the ladder, climb to the moon, illustrate the point, take advantage of, information

availale, simply put, bogged down, the Sargasso Sea, overload, laws, digest and assimilate, in any given field, over-

specialization, narrow foci, lose the larger picture, inspecting, toe-nails, internally coherent, irrelavant or fallacious

within the framework of a perspective, further, thus, come by, sharing, among, simply throwing out, various, a pile of, make

with them a mosaic, form a picture, in terms of, purity and cohesion of knowledge, drown moral or universal issues, a broad

enough picture, focus on, industrialization, expansion, wholistic, stifling, for greater good of all,

compartmentalization,pigeonholes, pigeonholing=specializing, consume, be lost in, make for, generally poorly-educated

individuals, guarantees, a sense of community, psychological displacement, personal dissatisfaction, inward-looking,

recognizes the importance, necessitates, drive us forward, in a series of thrust, on the jousting field, know what the stakes

are.
10.superior facility with the conventions (grammar, usage, and mechanics):
几个metaphor,很精彩：bogged down in the Sargasso Sea of information, add one small rung to ladder, climb to the moon,

understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails. pigeon-holes, a pile of, in a series of thrust, jousting

field.

davidjackyUID: 135962

谢谢分享

myown5891UID: 181125

Score 6
A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis generally thoughtful of the
complexities of the issue and conveys meaning skillfully clearly.
A typical paper in this category
• presents an insightful well-considered  position on the issue
• develops the position with compelling logically sound reasons
and/or persuasive examples
• sustains a well-focused, well-organized generally well organized analysis,
connecting ideas logically appropriately
• expresses ideas fluently and preciselyclearly and well, using
effective appropriate vocabulary and sentence variety对句式的要求是一样的
• demonstrates facility with the conventions (i.e.,
grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard
written English but may have minor errors 对基本的东西要求是一样的
_______________________________

myown5891UID: 181125

下面是对同题目的5分范文的分析
1.complexity:
深度明显不够，但ETS给了他很高评价。全文是典型的总分关系， 让步式论证。本文一大亮点是的让步与转折衔接得很到位，天衣无缝。
2. insightful reason & persvasive examples:
对这篇文章这两点是紧密结合的，本文最大亮点的是通过举例说理，例子选的再恰当不过了。
3. well-focused:
结构简单明了，简单也由简单的好处，不担心跑题
4. well-organized:
1段：态度+让步+总论点
2段：medical field的分论点+让步+过渡(Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge... When a patient requires more care than a doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist.)+For instance例子中的例子+This is an excellent examples of how...
可以把本段改写如下: 从这句话开始：Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a primary care doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments do not work the way they should. In this case, patients need to see someone who know how the problem begins, progress, and specify treatment. Primary care doctors may refer patients with unusually complicated problems to specialists with advanced training in a particular disease or field of medicine.  Specialists are just the ones who investigate particular organs and disorders, the general study of disease and the changes that it causes in the human body; they are just the ones who are proficient at ins and outs; they are also the ones who can even devise a remedy that primary care doctors use to restore health to the sick. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalizaiton may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. This is an excellent example of how a generalized person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specilazied one can.

3段：teaching的分论点+让步+转折+递进(As the years in school increase...)+反面论诉(Our teacher or professor can not provide as much...)
the beginning of the stage of formal operational thought, which may be characterized as thinking that involves deductive logic.


本段叙述还是有问题，可改为：从这句话开始：Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching. In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithmatic. Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can grow into a capable young person who has mastered language, is self-aware, can think and reason with sophistication, has a distinctive personality, and socializes effortlessly with others. But as children get older and the years in school increase, they gain more mature thinking  that involves deductive logic and a better understanding of language and scientific knowledge. They crave for more advanced vocabulary, more instruction of the philosophy of how all life is composed and in what manner it functions, more complex concept of mathematics and more specific experimental lore of particular subject. Generalized teachers are incapablle of serving their learning needs. Our teachers or professors can not go as much in-depth as possible to provide you with the information on all of these topics we are looking for. But they can guarantee we will get beaucoup knowledge in a certain sphere.


最后再加个结尾段：There are several other facets pertinent to the issue under discussion, which, regrettably, I have no time to delve too deeply into. But the above-discussed grounds should to a great extent justify my claim that speicialists are  necessitous to allow us to get to the bottom of more intricate conundrums and how to crack them.

myown5891UID: 181125

Score 6
A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated competent analysis of the
complexities of the issue and conveys meaning skillfully. adquately
A typical paper in this category
• presents an insightful clear position on the issue
• develops the position with compelling relevant reasons
and/or persuasive relevant examples
• sustains a well-focused, well-organized analysis,
connecting ideas logically adequately focused and organized
• expresses ideas fluently and precisely, using
effective vocabulary and sentence variety expresses ideas with reasonable clarity
• demonstrates facility generally demonstrates control with the conventions (i.e.,
grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard
written English but may have minor errors
4分作文强调最多的是clarity

amorzUID: 1

这篇文章不错啊，赞一下。

myown5891UID: 181125

本文问题多多：
1。没有开头段，结构不严密
2。文章没有层次感
3。没有从不同角度支持论点的理由
4。语法错误太多
还是自己写一篇算了;

Do specialists in our times are exceedingly overprized? Numerous executives, professors, historian would say no. The need for

generalists is undeniable but one can not underestimate the demand and the importance of specialists.

As centuries go, new fields pops up like mushrooms. Our understanding of the world has deepened at an accelerating rate as a

result of the exploitation of new knowledge. Meanwhile, we have accumulated so much information and knowledge that

specialists are fantastically needed in order to bail us out from the Bermuda Triangle of information. Today it is impossible

for any single mind to even begin to comprehend the totality of what is going on - in order to obtain some kind of

scientifically based ‘world-view' in the sense of the thinkers of a hundred years ago. Instead, we have to content ourselves

with much more humble ambitions in our understanding of the human condition.

What's more, specialists make latest technology available and understandable for nonspecialists. They work randomly at the

four corners of the earth but they contribute a lot in leading to the way that the world is shaped today. For instance,

computer specialists have devise a plethora of powerful and user-friendly software which addresses the multitude of, but

often invisible, tasks such as maintaining disk files and managing the screen by using Byzantine source code. Without

specialists, the explosion of new knowledge is meaningless as they may not be understood or utilized by people in general.  
  

Furthermore, specialist can do an avalanche of things for us which generalist could not do instead. I am currently working in

a large hospital which enrolls beaucoup new staffs counting primary care doctors and specialists.
Primary care doctors include general practitioners, family physicians, general internists, and general pediatricians. Both

specialists and generalists are indispensable for our hospital's daily operation. Patients usually consult a primary care

doctor when they first become ill or injured. Primary care physicians can treat most common disorders, and provide

comprehensive, lifelong care for individuals and families. But medical knowledge has advanced so far that no physician can

master an entire field of medicine. Primary care doctors may refer patients with unusually complicated problems to

specialists with advanced training in a particular disease or field of medicine. Rather, if there were not any specialist who

generalist can turn to for support, what consequences it would bring about?  There would, sadly, be no one who could relieve

the suffering and mental anguish associated with those afflicted with devastating illness.

There are several other facets pertinent to the issue under discussion, which, regrettably, I have no time to delve too

deeply into. But the above-discussed grounds should to a great extent justify my claim that specialists are necessitous to

allow us to get to the bottom of more intricate conundrums and be au fait with the method to crack them.

Henrry_FFUID: 165187

好文！赞一个！但老觉得ETS4分那个标准是用来迷惑大家的，参考价值相对6分那篇没有那么大！：）

poohUID: 146994

赞一个！ 都拿出这个钻研的劲头来，没有琢磨不透的！

鬼谷子UID: 159645

支持原创！

myown5891UID: 181125

谢谢支持,大家多提意见啊!

myown5891UID: 181125

Test5
"It is unfortunate that today's educators place so much emphasis on finding out what students want to include in the curriculum and then giving it to them. It is the educators' duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them."

6分
The statement above conceals intesting connotations far above curriculum development. Issues of classroom control and development of scholarly talents are at stake, not simply a debate over which books are acceptable or over revisionist histories.

The statement itself is a bit misleading in that in my experience, student control over curriculum hardly existed. Each year, there were certain course offerings made available, and students were to choose from those offerings, of course bearing in mind requirements for graduation set forth by the administration. On a classroom level, the immediate, initial material may have been somewhat directed by the students, but this was a part of the process allowed by the teacher/professor in order to gain the interest and attention of the students. However, too much of any one thing becomes problematic; letting students set the curriculum, as with letting students choose and design their own major in college, serves ultimately to dilute the quality of the educational experience unless a single advisor can devote significant amounts of time to the individual student. This amount of time, or even the expense to the student of this individual attention, seem to indicate that resources would be better allocated elsewhere.

Of course, any school in which the students decide "what goes" is bound to have problems controlling students. Once the educators, be they administrators or teachers, are under the control of students, even a democratic situation would be like holding royalty acountable to the mob. Presently, students hear for hours that they should not forget to use a condom in the heat of the moment, and educators think the message gets through, while half the kids can't even remember to bring a pencil to class. Students go to school not to simply learn the Pythagorean theorem, but to learn direction and receive guidance. This cannot occur when students are in charge, and standards, already hard to find in America's contemporary public schools, will become unenforceable. If students dictate and administrators do, students will never learn academic responsibility, and if they can't be held accountable for homework, what other responsibilities will they avoid when they get older?

But in another sense, teachers and students do exist in a partnership of sorts. Teachers are there to satisfy the needs of the student, and the student, while perhaps not being the most experienced/ knowledgeable person on what his/her needs actually are (versus wants), at least should be afforded some say. In addition, we must remember what the purpose of education is, and that there are different levels of education.

In high school, the focus is not so much on learning actual material. The focus is on developing study habits, and on social interaction. The best secondary schools promote an environment in which individual creativity and pacing can be developed, where students are taught to thinkon their own, and learn to debate and argue in a scholarly way, through writing and other formal methods of discourse. Group collaboration and interpersonal skills are developed and honed. The actual details of what is studied and tested is of less importance. Whether a student reads Maya Angelou, or Yeats, or Euripides essentially is beside the point as long as a student's mind is cultivated, not just their ability to record and recite. What is important is that secondary students develop and grow in the hands of the professionals.
The secondary educational experience is designed to prepare a student for college. It is in college where the individual learns to examine the world and how it works, and the individual's place in it.

As for duty, it is the educators' duty not simply to determine the curriculum, but to present it effectively. They cannot half-heartedly paint it on the blackboard, they must enliven it and actually teach. Hard work must be lauded, while freeloaders are punished. These are the duties of teachers, and the duty of the students is not just to learn or study, but to grow. An independent mind is what students need, and that mind has to be in a position to want and be able to question beyond the material presented, not simply to question its legitimacy. That distinction, though subtle, is the difference between letting the students follow a self-destructive course of premature self-determination on the one hand , and permitting on the other hand the fostering of great talents through a cooperative, mentoring relationship

myown5891UID: 181125

1.complexity:
一方面，students' control over curriculum hardly exist; letting students set the curriculum serves ultimately dilute the quality of the educational experience.

另一方面的论点提得不明确。 4、5段讲的是因为教育的目的是为了培养能力，学什么不重要。换一种说法就是，谁决定课表不重要，重要的是课表要满足培养学生能力的目的的要求。而且第六段与第五段衔接得不好，让人以为只有在sencondary education里这个论断才是成立的。因此，四段的论点没有得到很好的支持。有两种改法：一是把把第四段改一下: But in another sense, it is not consequencial who determine the curriculum; whatever we do, we should keep in mind the target of education.  二是把四五段都改了On the other hand, careful examination may review that the curriculum is not a result of educator's unilateral involvement. Conversely, it is an upshot of reciprocal process. Teaching and learning are intimately linked. If students are pushed to learn something they are concerned under certain curriculum, they would learn at full blast. Motivated students are thorough thinkers. They distinguish between opioion and fact. They ask powerful question. They make detailed observations. They spur teachers to speculate on what students really need and in what manner imparting knowledge is most effective. Teachers thus tend to confer with students frequently about these questions. In point of fact, experience has taught us that students who reflect on their own learning processes and understand the "what-when-how" of their learning are better able to understand their own learning profiles, to develop flexibility and adaptability in their thinking, and to set realistic goals about minimizing learning weaknesses and maximizing strengths. Thus, new ideas are born via the teaching-learning process. Current curriculum ameliorates by adopting these new ideas. As a consequence, educators and students create a powerful curriculum through a virtuous circle of interaction of them.

2.insightful reason:
讲第一点第一层时，提出：1. students  bearing in mind requirements for graduation set forth by the administration; 2. on a classroom level, the immediate, initial material may have been some what directed by the students, but this was a part of the process allowd by the teacher in order to gain the inteerest and attention of the students.
讲第一点第二层时，提出：1. this amount of time, or event the expense to the students of this individual attention, seem to indicate that resources would be better allocated elsewhere. 这一点应该可展开来说的，但作者匆匆代过 2. If students dictate and adminsitrators do, students will never  learn academic responsibility.


3.persvasive examples:
#1. each year, there were certain course offerings made available...
#2. on a classroomlevel, the immediate, initial material may have bee somewhat directed by the students...
#3. presently, students hear for hours that they should not forget to use a condom...

4.well-focused:
逐段分析：
1段：引论
2段：分论点1第一层论点+反驳举例1、2+However+分论点1第二层论点+引申论证
3段：重诉分论点1第二层+类比+举例+主张+反证
4段：But+分论点2+理由1、2
5段; 例证分论点2
6段: 应去掉
7段：总论点+从两个层面educator and student强化总论点+综诉
我发现，6分作文段落都在6~8段左右，让人看上去就感觉有气势

5. well-organized:
反驳式论证法
用了较多联结词: however, of course, presently, but, as for

6.fluently:

7.varied sentence structure
第1段：The statement above conceals... Issues of ... are at stake, not simply a debate over which...
第2段：The statement itself is a bit misleading in that... Each year, there are... and students are to choose... of course bearing mind... On a classroom level, the... may have been somewhat... but... However, extremes meet; letting... as with letting... serves ultimately to dilute the ... This... or even the... seem to indicate that...
第3段：Of course, any school in which... is bound to have... Once the educators, be they administrators or teachers, are under the control of...even a... would be like... Presently, students hear for hours that they should not forget to use... and educators think the... while... Students go to school not to simply learn... but to learn... This cannot occur when... and students, already hard to find to... will become... If... students will never... and if... what other... will they... when...
第4段: But in another sense, ... do have... Teachers are there to satisfy... and the students... In addition, we must remember that...  
第5段：In... the focus is not so much on... The focus is on... The best secondary schools promote...in which...where... through... Group collaboration and interpersonal skills are... The actual details of what is... Whether a student... is... as long as... not just... What is important is that...
第7段: As for duty, it is the educator's duty not simply to... They cannot... they must... Hard work must be... while... There are the duties of... and the duty of the... is not just to... but to... An independent mind is what... and that mind has to be...and that mind has to be in... and be able to... That distinction, though... is the difference between letting... and...

8.clearly and precisely:

9.effective vocabulary:
conceal, far above, a bit misleading, hardly existed, offering, the immediate, initial materia, may have been somewhat directed, extremes meet, as with, ultimately, dilute the quality, allocate, is bound to, under the control of, holding royalty acountable to the mob, condom, in the heat of the moment, get through, Pythagorean theorem, in charge, unenforceable,
promote an environment, think on their own, group collaboration, beside the point, in the hands of, as for, present it effectively, laud, freeloaders, in a position, question beyond the material presented, subtle, fostering,

10. superior facility with the conventions(grammar usage and mechanics)
有几句话特别精彩：
1# Once the educators, be they administrators or teachers,省略 are under the control of students; even a democratic situation would be like holding royalty accountable to the mob.  类比
2# They cannot half-heartedly paint it on the blackboard, they must enliven it and actually teach.生动
3# Whether a student reads Maya Angelou, or Yeats, or Euripides essentially is beside the point as long as a student's mind is cultivated, not just the ability to record and recite.排比
4# That distinction, though subtle, is the difference between letting the students follow a self-destructive course of premature self-determination on the one hand,押韵 and permiting on the other hand the fostering of great talents through a cooperative, mentoring relationship.

11.A little wind kindles, much puts out the fire. 适可而止，过犹不及。

[ Last edited by myown5891 on 2005-5-5 at 15:43 ]

myown5891UID: 181125

1.complexity:看了一些作文，觉得5分作文最大的特点就是条理清晰，态度明确，加上流畅的语言，和时不时来的两句点睛之比。而6分作文结

构上复杂一点，费点神去理解，叙述上更加生动，给人的感觉就是内涵挖得比较深。以以上两篇做对比，6分文章讲到了教育的现状，教育的目

的；5分文章讲的明显的浅显些，文章首先把题目内容提炼成两个比喻the high road and the low road, 表明了态度，接着提出应该走low

road: when educators provide students with choices WITHIN THE map of curriculum, students relish in the freedom and take the

ownership for their learning , 再用引申论证的手法说we should not provide students the ultimate authority in curriculum

development,相当于从反面论证总论点，最后说 I do NOT think it is unfortunate that today's educators emphasize students'

interests 又从批驳的角度把总论点又说了一遍。文章有一个发人深省的、新颖的总论点及开头方式，这是前一篇范文比不过的，但欠缺深度

。可以这么改：第二段提出总论点后， 从为什么和怎么做两个方面入手展开论点。
Ensuring the backbone and anchor of curriculum for students would be beneficial to the students' development in an avalanche

of respects. First of all, by bestowing students with fundamental skills and knowledge, the backbone and anchor of curriculum

warrants that students flourish to grow into a capable young person who has mastered language, is self-aware, can think and

reason with sophistication, has a distinctive personality, and socializes effortlessly with others. Furthermore, as
the backbone and anchor of curriculum ensures what has to be learned can be set out in full, stage by stage, from the start

of the educational process to its conclusion and what is taught can be regularly tested and that each stage of teaching and

learning can best be seen as a preparation for the next. Otherwise, educators have no standards and no values to evaluate

the effectiveness and validity of their education plans and could not enhance their teaching and students' ability

efficiently and efficaciously.  In addition, the backbone and anchor of curriculum would offer a foreseeable foundation upon

which university administrators and faculty could more easily build curricula and select course materials for freshmen that

are neither below nor above their level of educational experience. If educators failed to do this, different students would

have different curriculum and would have difficulty in study together on the university level. Finally, the backbone and

anchor of curriculum would guarantee that all students are taught underlying values upon which any democratic society relies

to thrive, and even survive--values such as  tolerance of others with different viewpoints, respect for elders, acting

fairly, telling the truth and willingness to help others.

However, while the backbone and anchor of curriculum is available, it has to be undertaken in conjunction with an active

involvement of students. Thus, educators must provide students variety and choices within the context of "what needs to be

covered." If students are pushed to learn something they are concerned under certain curriculum, they would learn at full

blast. Motivated students are thorough thinkers. They distinguish between opinion and fact. They rain powerful question on their teachers. They

make detailed observations. In point of fact, experience has taught us that students who are interested and aggressive in

their learning are better able to understand their own learning profiles, to develop flexibility and adaptability in their

thinking, and to set realistic goals about minimizing learning weaknesses and maximizing strengths.

In this case, how could educators bring to fruition the system discussed above? From my point of view, the back and bone of

curriculum should include language, mathematics and moral education. Those students not mastering these critical skills and

knowledge are at a disadvantage. We see those students become destructive or depressed, I have observed students struggling

with the basics become outcasts in their own little worlds. Very young outcasts grow into adult outcasts. And yet, students

would get the freedom of choices. They could choose curriculum alive with numerous elective courses which involve comprehensive subjects such as geography, social science and history. Adjacent schools could cooperate and they could form leagues which enable them to share educational resources and therefore reduce the cost of daily operation and give better quality to their students. Meanwhile, educators could check the curriculum's effectiveness and evaluate whether the educational purpose are being attained through various instruments such as tests, work samples and questionnaires. Appraisal of a student's success is targeted on various parameters such as achievement test scores, the performance of activities he and she partakes in.




2.本文有许多精彩的语言:
extremist, come to a middle road, intimate, nouveau, meander, branch off, endorse.
The assumptions behind this view include a magical ability by teachers to infuse reams of information, data and knowledge into

students' brains that then become internalized and applied by the students.
In a complex and frightening society, we must look to the middle road. We must infuse the best of the high and the low roads.

Current research has had a lot to say on curriculum development. Overreaching arguments defend the quality of students' self-directed learning.
as a map for teachers
When educators provide students with choices within the map of curriculum, students relish the freedom and take ownership for

their learning.  
                                 






erative, mentoring relationship.

[ Last edited by myown5891 on 2005-5-25 at 07:38 ]

myown5891UID: 181125

The above quotation a concrete example of a major problem in our society today. While probably stated with good intentions, the quotation misses the mark on the path education needs to follow.  As our society changes, so do our educational needs, and thus our educational curriculum needs to change also.

I find fault  with the quotation on two fronts.  First, the quotation does not acknowledge that curriculum must change.  It seems to say the educator should decide when to change the curriculum.  This does not lead to optimal learning conditions, ask anyone who studied high school history out of outdated textbooks.  One can also infer some students won't be taught up-to-date informationin a wide variety of areas.  This can become ideologically dangerous.   What happens when students are not given full teachings of such vital movements as the Equal Rights Amendment or the Constitution of their country?  An unenlightened society is a grave society with little hope.  Curriculum must change, and should not be left to input from a single voice.

The second argument answers who should make curriculum adjustments.  Obviously the educator still plays alarge role in this matter.  The students also need to be part of the decision process.  The two groups need a give and take relationship when deciding topics for the classroom.  If the students could benefit from learning material that is presently not taught in the classroom, it should be entered.  Sex education and AIDS education classes needed to be part of the curriculum to inform young people.  Those classes were added and have worked well.

A third party that has a role in curriculum development is private business, including research labs, goods and service providers, and financial businesses.  By hiring employees with certain capabilities they have indirectly influenced curriculum for years. As time passes they will have more input by demanding subpar schools raise the level of student test scores in certain areas, either by stating so or by not hiring unqualified students

The quotation echoes of a time when school learning consisted of the three "R"'s and little else.  For better or worse our society is much more complex now than then.