Issue6 同主题写作，限时失败，全文693字，就是写不短 :(

edgarluUID: 203648

Issue 6:
the most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.

Article:
There are manys ways to make a insightful look at the contemporary culture. You can learn from the publications and mass media, or do some research on the contemporary art and literature. Of course analyzing the trends of its youth could help you understand contemporary culture more from a specific aspect, but is it the most effective way to do so? I doubt it, as I argue below.

The young people cannot represent the mainstream of contemporary culture. First, the young people, basically ranging from teenagers to,  let's say, 30-year-old, only takes up a relatively small percentage of the whole population. Part of them still live with their parents and officially participate no serious social activity yet. Their representativeness of the whole culture is doubtful and untenable. Second, people of this age group are financially, psychologically and academically immature, which means that they are less likely to make important achievement or impact to the social culture than those of the older age groups. Finally, young people are more emotionally instable and eager to do something unusual to establish his personal identity. Hormones and adrenalin could easily take control of them and induce them to do something which will be considered as ridiculous and naive by the public or by themselves of 20 years older. However, this is common among the youth and one misleading factor if we try to make some conclusion about the whole culture by analyzing phenomenons among its youth.

Besides that, answer this: What's the most effective way  to understand contemporary culture? What's the measurement of effectiveness here? Is it accuracy, scale or depth? Talk about accuracy, as we discussed above, the instability and unpredictability of the youth is a statistical nightmare; Scale? Obviously there are a lot of fields that young people do not and can not paticipate, say nothing of influence on, for their lack of experience and knowledge, the most typical example of which would be politics. Bill Clinton is one of the youngest Presidents in the history of the United States, who started his first appointment at the age of late 40's. All successful politicians in the United States, or even in coutries of all over the world, are elders relative to young people, because to the public the age itself is a guarantee of credit, self-discipline and responsibility. What about Depth then? Some would say that by analyzing the trends of the youth and find out their origins we could acquire deeper understanding to cultural issues, such as the generation gap. Well then, let's just say, how can you obtain an objective and thorough overview of the generation gap by ignoring the people of the other side. Overemphasis on the younger genenration is not helpful to gain a real substantial insight into the cultural reality.

Admittedly, the trends of youth do represent the trends of culture evolution. The youth is the next generation in charge of the world, and these trends do reflect the direction that culture and society is moving forward. For example, the "sexual liberation" movement was popular among the youngsters in the 60's and 70's in the United States. At that time, the mainstream culture described this kind of trends as "a disaster of ethics". Nowaday, however, when all those boys and girls become film directors, talk show hosts, writers, teachers and Presidents, a moderate version of "sexual liberation" has been widely accepted by the public. People talk about sex without feeling embarassed on TV, films, newspapers or even personal dialogues between close friends. A well-known example comes from, again, married ex-president Bill Clinton, who committed sexuality with an intern in the White House, and was finally forgiven by the Congress and the American people for his honesty and the outstanding achievenments in both terms as president. If the same thing happened 50 years ago, let's say, he would have been buried ALIVE!

To sum up, the analysis on the trends of youth is not the most effective way to understand the culture. As my point of view, in terms of culture research, there is no shortcut but step-by-step scrutiny over all age groups and all times to clinch the very essence.

[ Last edited by edgarlu on 2005-7-12 at 11:38 ]

qwerty_123UID: 201741

楼主文章写得太好了，佩服佩服！
没有可改的，我也写了Issue6 489字，思路和楼主差不多，不过文采差太远了:L
楼主如想字少，一段一个例子，减少点说理的文字，我感觉时间就够了^_^

qwerty_123UID: 201741

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
给我看看吧 Isssue6

edgarluUID: 203648

Originally posted by qwerty_123 at 2005-7-12 15:38
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
给我看看吧 Isssue6

多谢，第一次有人拍
回拍过了，多交流

chenda8201UID: 171368

Issue 6:
the most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.

Article:
There are manys [many] ways to make a [an] insightful look at the contemporary culture. You [改用We好] can learn from the publications and mass media, or do some research on the contemporary art and literature. Of course[,] analyzing the trends of its youth could help you [避免用you，别人改我的issue时的建议，现同样建议与你^_^] understand contemporary culture more from a specific aspect, but is it the most effective way to do so? I doubt it, as I argue below.
[怀疑观点，那么就是将反对咯～]

The [加个连接词 To begin with, the] young people cannot represent the mainstream of contemporary culture. First, the young people, basically ranging from teenagers to, let's say, 30-year-old, only takes up a relatively small percentage of the whole population. Part of them still live with their parents and officially participate no serious social activity yet. [好像看过有个给出youth的年龄分段，一时忘了，不过个人以为这里假设的到30-year-old有些old了，再加上你这句话说他们still live with their parents and officially participate no serious social activity，30岁的还这样吗？25岁以上的都不好这样说了吧～] Their representativeness of the whole culture is doubtful and untenable. Second, people of this age group are financially, psychologically and academically immature, which means that they are less likely to make important achievement or impact to the social culture than those of the older age groups. Finally, young people are more emotionally instable and eager to do something unusual to establish his personal identity. Hormones and adrenalin could easily take control of them and induce them to do something which will be considered as ridiculous and naive by the public or by themselves of 20 years older. However, this is common among the youth and one misleading factor if we try to make some conclusion about the whole culture by analyzing phenomenons among its youth.
[嗯，总的来说这段话论证得不错～]

Besides that, answer this: What's the most effective way to understand contemporary culture? What's the measurement of effectiveness here? Is it accuracy, scale or depth? Talk [Talking] about accuracy, as we discussed above, the instability and unpredictability of the youth is a statistical nightmare; Scale? Obviously there are a lot of fields that young people do not and [把and 改成or] can not paticipate [participate], say nothing of influence on, for their lack of experience [experiences] and knowledge, the most typical example of which would be politics. Bill Clinton is one of the youngest Presidents in the history of the United States, who started his first appointment at the age of late 40's. All successful politicians in the United States, or even in coutries [countries] of all over the world, are elders relative to young people, because to the public the age itself is a guarantee of credit, self-discipline and responsibility. What about Depth then? Some would say that by analyzing the trends of the youth and find out their origins we could acquire deeper understanding to cultural issues, such as the generation gap. Well then, let's just say, how can you [we] obtain an objective and thorough overview of the generation gap by ignoring the people of the other side. [题目哪里有说到ignore the people of other ages啊？认为是effective way并不一定意味着会ignore other咯～] Overemphasis on the younger genenration [generation] is not helpful to gain a real substantial insight into the cultural reality.
[这段中Bill Clinton的例子不好；He start his appointment at the age of late 40’s，这已经不算youth的范畴了～；不过，这段话中采用不少反问句，形式倒是新颖些～；思路上也不错]

Admittedly, the trends of youth do represent the trends of culture evolution. The youth is the next generation in charge of the world, and these trends do reflect the direction that culture and society is moving forward. For example, the "sexual liberation" movement was popular among the youngsters in the 60's and 70's in the United States. At that time, the mainstream culture described this kind of trends as "a disaster of ethics". Nowaday [Nowadays], however, when all those boys and girls become film directors, talk show hosts, writers, teachers and Presidents, a moderate version of "sexual liberation" has been widely accepted by the public. People talk about sex without feeling embarassed [embarrassed] on TV, films, newspapers or even personal dialogues between close friends. A well-known example comes from, again, married ex-president Bill Clinton, who committed sexuality with an intern in the White House, and was finally forgiven by the Congress and the American people for his honesty and the outstanding achievenments [achievements] in both terms as president. If the same thing happened 50 years ago, let's say, he would have been buried ALIVE!
[这段例子”sexual liberation”用的好；可是后面涉及到Clinton的又不好了，那些在这里就是偏离本段想论证，删掉，这样字数就可减少]

To sum up, the analysis on the trends of youth is not the most effective way to understand the culture. As [In] my point of view, in terms of culture research, there is no shortcut but step-by-step scrutiny over all age groups and all times to clinch the very essence.

[总体感觉，还是写得不错的；
整个的逻辑结构也是比较清晰的～；语言驾驭能力较强，值得偶学习^_^
注意上文中两次用到Bill Clinton的例子都不妥，那样反而削弱你的论证力度～]


欢迎有空会拍我的～
很多问题的说；我在表达上都有很多困难——
Issue6
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=298752

chenda8201UID: 171368

Originally posted by qwerty_123 at 2005-7-12 15:34
楼主文章写得太好了，佩服佩服！
没有可改的，我也写了Issue6 489字，思路和楼主差不多，不过文采差太远了:L
楼主如想字少，一段一个例子，减少点说理的文字，我感觉时间就够了^_^

文中的例子有些不妥的
减少说理，而不管例子，那么有可能变成在堆砌例子而没什么论证的话，也就不好了吧～

edgarluUID: 203648

Originally posted by chenda8201 at 2005-7-12 20:33
总体感觉，还是写得不错的；
整个的逻辑结构也是比较清晰的～；语言驾驭能力较强，值得偶学习^_^
注意上文中两次用到Bill Clinton的例子都不妥，那样反而削弱你的论证力度～

谢拍
关于两个clinton的例子
第一个其实是说即使他已经是美国最年轻的总统之一了，第一任期开始时也已经奔50了，不是说他年轻而是说他老，不过确实可能表达欠清晰
第二个是为了进一步说明sexual liberation对社会文化和价值观的影响之深之广，是“例证的例证”，不过确实是篇幅过长反而有点喧宾夺主了

再谢，正回拍中
PS: 对文中大量未纠正的低级错误说声sorry