Issue103 熊熊的同主题作文互拍！

sebarinaUID: 2108158

欢迎互拍~留链接~我晚上来改
这篇文章当时写的很恶心的，已经改过一遍了~希望不要手下留情哦！
103"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

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研究、学习历史具有其自身的价值仅仅在于它和我们的日常生活相关联。

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Partly agreement

1.I would agree with the speaker insofar that the study of history is valuable for it is relevant to our daily lives.
2.However, the speaker limited the history's fuction to present daily life, while I would not agree with this statement.
  2.1The study of history can help us understand better of the past.
  2.2And what is more, it will help us to predict future.

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Issue103  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分3秒     502 words
从2005年7月6日8时21分到2005年7月6日9时45分
------题目------
The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.
------正文------
Is the study of history only valuable for it is relevant to our daily lives? The speaker claims so, while I have my reservation. I agree with the statement insofar that the study of history is valuable for the relevance of our daily life. Yet, the speaker limits the function of history study, which I do not think so. In my view of point, the function to study history is not only useful for present daily lives, but also for recognize of past and predication of future.

Admittedly, the study of history plays a significant role in relevance to our daily lives. First, many history events tell us what is right and what is wrong. History of developing technology benefits the society, while war history warns people that misunderstanding will cause blood and hatred. People from the history evade false idea and improve correct thought. Secondly, it is crucial for us to conclude moral standard and society value from history. The eminent individuals in history provide us a sufficient spiritual world to learn from. Ancient philosophies indicate that love is the superior element of our society, and thus we have the education of love, teaching everybody to be a philanthropist. In scientific area, great scientists like Einstein, Newton, provide a standard of scrutiny and curiosity, affecting nowadays scientific research, and propelling science development.

However, we should not neglect that the study of history can also help us understand more of past. It is true that people concern more about present time. Yet, the curiosity of human being is innate, so that they feel like exploring more of their ascendants, which render the history a necessary tool in researching. With more and more relics and ancient tombs finding out, people are eager to know more about past: what was the life in ancient? Why do they use such implements? How have the peoples of their own evoluted during such a long period? What about the arts and policies in the past. If we do not study history, the remainders of ancient relics will say nothing themselves, and the past will stay as a bland sheet. Only if we study history, connecting the past remainders to already existed history knowledge, can we get recognize of past culture at a sight of impartial and intergraded.

In addition, it is also important to predict the trend of our society through history study. There are some trends through history, we can predict future if we have better understand of past. From the study of society history, we will see the history can be divided into different sections, in which there must be a bloom and a declination, which can also be seen from history of economics. After chasing the characteristics, we will properly predicate the trend of society and economic future. A precedent exists that in the last few years of 20th century, the bloom of economy in East Asian at last turns to be government finance foam, which is predicted by many economists before. And so is the society. Empires alters one by one, none of which is exception of history trend. Thus, the holding of history, either society or economy, can help us avoid being at a loss or help us chasing the history challenge.
   
To sum up, although the statement that history study can value when using it in daily lives, other functions of history study is also important. People are not only live in present world, but also stand in the developing society including past and future. Only when people recognize this significance, can they make better use of the history study.

sosoUID: 194270

先来占个座,晚上改!!

neo_athrunUID: 2111270

Is the study of history only valuable for it is relevant to our daily lives? The speaker claims so, while I have my reservation. (“自己有所保留”好句子啊！) I agree with the statement insofar that the study of history is valuable for the relevance of our daily life. Yet, the speaker limits the function of history study, which I do not think so. In my view of point (是point of view吧？ 还是皆可？), the function to study history is not only useful for present daily lives, but also for recognize (reconginzation) of past and predication of future.

Admittedly, the study of history plays a significant role in relevance to our daily lives. First, many history events tell us what is right and what is wrong. History of developing technology benefits the society, while war history warns people that misunderstanding will cause blood (导致鲜血？应该是bleeding 吧？) and hatred. People from the history (这个短语应该在句末感觉好一点) evade false idea and improve correct thought. Secondly, it is crucial for us to conclude moral standard and society value from history. The eminent individuals in history provide us a sufficient spiritual world to learn from. Ancient philosophies indicate that love is the superior element of our society, and thus we have the education of love, teaching everybody to be a philanthropist. In scientific area, great scientists like Einstein, Newton, provide a standard of scrutiny and curiosity, affecting nowadays scientific research, and propelling science development.

However, we should not neglect that the study of history can also help us understand more of past. It is true that people concern more about present time. Yet, the curiosity of human being is innate, so that they feel like exploring more of their ascendants, which renders the history as a necessary tool in researching. With more and more relics and ancient tombs finding out, people are eager to know more about past: what was the life in ancient? Why do they use such implements? How have the peoples of their own evoluted during such a long period? What about the arts and policies in the past.(这句什么意思？) If we do not study history, the remainders of ancient relics will say nothing themselves, and the past will stay as a bland sheet. Only if we study history, connecting the past remainders to already existed history knowledge, can we get recognize of past culture at a sight of impartial and intergraded.  (感觉这一段实际上没有什么实际的论证效果，因为能够很好的联系现在的前提就是好好了解过去，所以第一段同意作者的观点其实就是暗中肯定了第二段的观点了——当然这是不成熟的个人看法，因为想象这个逻辑总觉得有点不透彻)
In addition, it is also important to predict the trend of our society through history study. There are some trends through history, we can predict future if we have better understand of past. From the study of society history, we will see the history can be divided into different sections, in which there must be a bloom and a declination, which can also be seen from history of economics (好多的which啊 能不能换成as). After chasing the characteristics, we will properly predicate the trend of society and economic future. A precedent exists that in the last few years of 20th century, the bloom of economy in East Asian at last turns to be government finance foam, which is predicted by many economists before. And so is the society. Empires alters one by one, none of which is exception of history trend. Thus, the holding of history, either society or economy, can help us avoid being at a loss or help us chasing the history challenge. (没有论证完全，历史的可预测性应该包括两方面，一方面是历史的潮流，另一方面是人的决策，应该在论述一下我们在做决策时应该参考历史)   
To sum up, although the statement that history study can value when using it in daily lives, other functions of history study is also important. People are not only live in present world, but also stand in the developing society including past and future. Only when people recognize this significance, can they make better use of the history study.  (不错的倒装)

嗯……总的来说展开论证的很不错了，因为这个题目实际上是issue221的一小部分论点很难展开的。
关于第二段的必要性还须探讨，这个问题很严肃~~~~
语言嘛已经有自己的特色了，加油！

sebarinaUID: 2108158

谢谢大狗给我改文~总是觉得还不狠~~咱俩就别客气了……

星星之火UID: 2107154

先占个座，晚上拍

星星之火UID: 2107154

我可是拍的很不客气!!!

Issue103  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分3秒     502 words
从2005年7月6日8时21分到2005年7月6日9时45分
------题目------
The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives.
------正文------
Is the study of history only valuable for it is relevant to our daily lives? The speaker claims so, while I have my reservation. I agree with the statement insofar that the study of history is valuable for the relevance of our daily life. Yet, the speaker limits the function of history study, which I do not think so. In my view of point, the function to study history is not only useful for present daily lives, but also for recognize (recognition) of past and predication(应该是预言吧prediction) of future.

Admittedly, the study of history plays a significant role in relevance to our daily lives. First, many history events tell us what is right and what is wrong. History of developing technology benefits the society,(这一句感觉有点空洞) while war history warns people that misunderstanding will cause blood and hatred.(这一句的句式可以改进一下,while连接前后分句的句式对应起来比较漂亮) People from the history evade false idea and improve correct thought.(举例和总结句之间注意用适当的词语或短句过度一下,不然显得很突然) Secondly, it is crucial for us to conclude moral standard and society value from history. The eminent individuals in history provide us a sufficient spiritual world to learn from. Ancient philosophies indicate that love is the superior element of our society, and thus we have the education of love, teaching everybody to be a philanthropist. In scientific area, great scientists like Einstein, Newton, provide a standard of scrutiny and curiosity(????没看懂什么意思), affecting nowadays scientific research, and propelling science development.(本段几乎从来没用到过度词,影样逻辑衔接;另外论证方法也不是很丰满,举完例要总结,正着说完了可以在反着说，没研究历史会给当今生活带来什么麻烦)
However, we should not neglect that the study of history can also help us understand more of past. It is true that people concern more about present time. Yet, the curiosity of human being is innate,(这个观点我没想到,学习ing) so that they feel like exploring more of their ascendants, which render the history a necessary tool in researching. With more and more relics and ancient tombs finding out, people are eager to know more about past: what was the life in ancient? Why do they use such implements? How have the peoples of their own evoluted during such a long period? What about the arts and policies in the past. If we do not study history, the remainders of ancient relics will say nothing themselves, and the past will stay as a bland sheet.(应强调有什么损失) Only if we study history, connecting the past remainders to already existed history knowledge, can we get recognize of past culture at a sight of impartial and intergraded.(我感觉作者好象每太有话说，深入不进去,我也没想出这个论点应该怎么说,再讨论以下吧,确实不好说!)
In addition, it is also important to predict the trend of our society through history study. There are some trends through history, we can predict future if we have better understand of past. From the study of society history, we will see the history can be divided into different sections, in which there must be a bloom and a declination, which can also be seen from history of economics(这里套了两个定语从句,比较乱,不如分开). After chasing the characteristics, we will properly predicate the trend of society and economic future. A precedent exists that in the last few years of 20th century, the bloom of economy in East Asian at last turns to be government finance foam, which is predicted by many economists before. And so is the society. Empires alters one by one, none of which is exception of history trend. Thus, the holding of history, either society or economy, can help us avoid being at a loss or help us chasing the history challenge.(例子论述的不够清楚,一定要紧扣论点)   
To sum up, although the statement that history study can value when using it in daily lives, other functions of history study is also important. People are not only live in present world, but also stand in the developing society including past and future. Only when people recognize this significance, can they make better use of the history study.


总体感觉三段的论点很清晰,单论证都不是很深刻,可能是这篇文章不好写,例子什么的都不好找,再讨论一下吧,我现在也没什么好象法!
语言方面，不用刻意用长局,显得不自然,还要注意多用象however, thus , futhermore, moreover, 等词把句子连接器来.

说的不到的多包含,总体感觉这片文章难写
谢谢你给我拍的，很有帮助,一起加油吧，希望能再交流一下

sebarinaUID: 2108158

不错不错非常感谢~我再改改