Argument140 寄托4人组 8-16

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Argument140  第6篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：35分     462 words (422 words before polish)
从2005年7月16日0时32分到2005年7月16日1时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.
'During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college.'
------正文------
In this argument, the speaker suggests that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 salary and a promotion to Department Chairperson for the reason of her teaching and research abilities. After a careful scrutiny, however, I find this reasoning suffers from several critical flaws.

To begin with, the speaker assumes that teaching ability can be evaluated by the size of the class and professor's popularity among students. Firstly, the size of the class might caused by other reasons which have nothing to do with the professor's teaching ability. For example, it might be quite possible that her class is a required course for students to earn credits. Their enrollment in this class is not according to the professor's excellent teaching skill, but forced by the University. Secondly, there is no casual relationship between popularity and teaching ability. The Professor owns high popularity among students might because that she usually trade students softly and tend to give high scores.

Moreover, the professor's research ability is also questionable. The mere fact that the professor has brought to the university research grants which exceeded her salary in each of the last two years cannot demonstrate her research ability. After all, research capability is not determined by the amount of grants but the quality of academic works. Since the speaker does not provide any information about the professor's academic performance, it is too hasty to conclude that the professor is competent in academic research.

Additionally, the speaker rely his or her suggestion on the assumption that professors who are good at teaching or researching, are equally good at administrating. Common sense tells us that teaching and researching are different from managing. In teaching the professor merely interact with students; in research she only have to focus her attention on her own subject. However, when it comes to administration, the professor needs the ability to communicate effectively with each member in her institute and keep good relationship with outer organizations. As the speaker does not give any substantial evidence to prove the professor's talent in administration, the promotion to the Department Chairperson is irrational.

Last but not least, there is no indication that the professor would leave the university unless she gets promoted with more salary. Since the professor have been teaching at this university for 17 years, it is less likely for her to leave if she was not promoted and got high payment. It is possible that she does not care too much about the money she get paid, but the natural beauty, the climate and the research atmosphere there.

In sum, the suggestion is unconvincing for the weak points list above. In order to make it more persuasive, the speaker should provide more information to prove the professor's real ability at teaching, research and administration.

meautoUID: 2116250

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

那只有我上了。。。

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Argument140  第6篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：35分     462 words (422 words before polish)
从2005年7月16日0时32分到2005年7月16日1时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.
'During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of【 $50,000.】 Her classes are among the 【largest】 at the university, 【demonstrating her popularity among students】. Moreover, 【the money】 she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the【 last two years】. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a【 $10,000 raise】 and a 【promotion to Department Chairperson】; without such a raise and promotion, we【 fear】 that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college.'
------正文------
In this argument, the speaker suggests that Professor Thomas should receive a $10,000 salary and a promotion to Department Chairperson for the reason of her teaching and research abilities. After a careful scrutiny, however, I find this reasoning suffers from several critical flaws.

To begin with, the speaker assumes that teaching ability can be evaluated by the size of the class and professor's popularity among students.[good point and nice expression, but you may need some words like “unfairly” to indicate your attitude.] Firstly, the size of the class might [be ]caused by other reasons which have nothing to do with the professor's teaching ability. For example, it might be quite possible that her class is a required course for students to earn credits. Their enrollment in this class is not according to the professor's excellent teaching skill, but [is]forced by the University. Secondly, there is no casual relationship between popularity and teaching ability. The Professor owns high popularity among students might because[I’m not sure whether “because” can be used in this way. The reason why… might be that..] that she usually trade students softly and tend to give high scores.[has loose requirements and gives high grades.]

Moreover, the professor's research ability is also questionable. The mere fact that the professor has brought to the university research grants which exceeded her salary in each of the last two years cannot demonstrate her research ability. After all, research capability is not determined by the amount of grants but the quality of academic works. Since the speaker does not provide any information about the professor's academic performance, it is too hasty to conclude that the professor is competent in academic research.[This point is relatively week. You may criticize that it is only the case in the last two years, while other professors always bring high grants in their career and the amount of grants might be much higher than Prof. T brought.]

Additionally, the speaker rely his or her suggestion on the assumption that professors who are good at teaching or researching, are equally good at administrating.[every TS is well organized.] Common sense tells us that teaching and researching are different from managing. In teaching the professor merely interact[s. this kind of mistake abound in your essay. ] with students; in research[ing] she only have[has] to focus her attention on her own subject. However, when it comes to administration, the professor needs the ability to communicate effectively with each member in her institute and keep good relationship with outer organizations.[nice!] As the speaker does not give any substantial evidence to prove the professor's talent in administration, the promotion to the Department Chairperson is irrational.[besides, there is no evidence to exclude the possibility that she is not the better choice for this position. Maybe another professor in the department could be more competent.]

Last but not least, there is no indication that the professor would leave the university unless she gets promoted with more salary. Since the professor have been teaching at this university for 17 years, it is less likely for her to leave if she was not promoted and got high payment. It is possible that she does not care too much about the money she get paid, but the natural beauty, the climate and the research atmosphere there.[Even if Prof. T does have an intension to leave, the arguer should have a research on the concrete reasons why she wants to go. Maybe she is being not satisfied with the administration or the quality of students, or maybe she hates several policies the university carrying out. …]

In sum, the suggestion is unconvincing for the weak points list[ed] above. In order to make it more persuasive, the speaker should provide more information to prove the professor's real ability at teaching, research and administration.[and whether she has an intention to leave and why.]

[Nice expression, nice organization, and nice developed argument. However, you should pay more attention to your grammatical mistakes. There are too many in this essay. ]

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

的确有点多！可能是后半夜神志不清所致！

收下!