issue10 fantasy互改群24日

fancingUID: 208191

To give the financial support is one of the most important functions of government. Considering whether government should ensure the financial support to major cities or other parts of their country, in my opinion, support the countryside financially where the nation's cultural traditions really origin and are conserved and where the economy is less developed will be better. I would give my reasons as follows.

In the first place, compared with major cities, a nation's cultural traditions are more likely to generate from countryside and are preserved better in the countryside. As we know, when these traditions are generated, these major cities haven't been explored and developed. The objective to build up the major cities involves making them the economic center, which could bring the development of other small cities or countries, or the political center, which could concentrate the guide and lead of the government. Referring to the situation of traditions' conservation, we could find many examples to bolter that in the countries there are more traditions preserved well than those in the major cities. For instance, fewer and fewer people in the major cities will get together to celebrate spring festival, and we cannot hear the blissful sound of firecracker any longer in the major cities. Yet in the countries, many traditions for celebrating spring festival have been brought down and preserved, such as playing firecracker, stilted dancing, etc. Accordingly, the real places where the cultural traditions were born and are living are not the major cities but the countryside.

In the second place, even if there are some traditions in need of preservation in the major cities, it is certain that major cities could finance by themselves and it is necessary for the government to make sure the financial support. These cities are more developed than other parts, and sometimes the most international parts in their country, which will bring more opportunities for these cities to get investment from the top companies inside or outside the country.  For example, the FDI for the major city in Shanghai each year must be more than any other cities in China. Therefore, it is no need for governments to worry about the financial support in these major cities might be in short.

However, in the country, the situation is totally different, which I think is the right place deserving and needing the financial support of governments. The persons who often take attention to current affairs must find that a heavy burden has been pressed on the people in the countryside. Because of poor harvest, undeveloped education system, investment failure because of lack of direction, high unemployment rate, it may be difficult for the people in the countryside to dress warmly or eat their fill. Therefore, it is the countryside that is lack of capital not only to preserve cultural traditions but also to develop economy, education and etc.

To sum up, I think the government must pay more attention to the countryside, not only for the cultural reasons but also for the economical reasons. To ensure the financial support of the countryside must let the capital flow into the place which in the most need of them.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-24 at 22:43 ]

modeuxUID: 2107416

To give the financial support is one of the most important functions of government. Considering whether government should ensure the financial support to major cities or other parts of their country, in my opinion, support应该用动名词的 the countryside financially where the nation's cultural traditions really originorigin是名词，应该是originate and are conserved and where the economy is less developed will be better这句话主语太长，读起来不太舒服，个人感觉不如用强调句式, It is better to support…where…and where…. I would give my reasons as follows.

In the first place, compared with major cities, a nation's cultural traditions are more likely to generate from countryside and are跟在likely后面，应该用be了吧？~~~ preserved better in the countryside. As we know, when these traditions are generated, these major cities haven't been explored and developed. The objective to build up the major cities involves making them the economic center, which could bring the development of other small cities or countries, or the political center, which could concentrate the guide and lead of the government. Referring to the situation of traditions' conservation, we could find many examples to bolter这个词是什么意思，是不是bolster?~~~ that in the countries there are more traditions preserved well比较级了，应该用better than thosethose去掉，简洁 in the major cities. For instance, fewer and fewer people in the major cities will get together to celebrate spring festival, and we cannot hear the blissful sound of firecracker any longer in the major cities. Yet in the countries, many traditions for celebrating spring festival have been brought downbring down是击倒的意思喔，come down才是流传 and preserved, such as playing firecracker, stilted dancing, etc. Accordingly, the real places where the cultural traditions were born and are living are not the major cities but the countryside. 感觉这段论述缺少说服力，只说了有些文化传统在农村保存的好，举例也只说明了现象，都没有指出深层次的原因

In the second place, even if there are some traditions in need of preservation in the major cities, it is certain that major cities could finance by themselves and it is necessary应该是unnecessary吧~~~ for the government to make sure the financial support. These cities are more developed than other parts, and sometimes the most international parts in their country, which will bring more opportunities for these cities to get investment from the top companies inside or outside the country.  For example, the FDI for the major city in Shanghai each year must be more than any other cities in China. Therefore, it is no need for governments to worry about the financial support in these major cities might be in short这句也感觉读的不太顺，要不去掉might be in short，要不在worry about后面加that吧~~~.

However, in the country, the situation is totally different, which I think is the right place deserving and needing the financial support of用from吧~~~ governments. The persons who often take attention to current affairs must find that a heavy burden has been pressed on the people in the countryside. Because of poor harvest, undeveloped education system, investment failure because of lack of direction, high unemployment rate, it may be difficult for the people in the countryside to dress warmly or eat their fill. Therefore, it is the countryside that is lack of capital not only to preserve cultural traditions but also to develop economy, education and etc. 这一段的中心句感觉不是很明确，开头只说了situation is different，看到最后才明白让步的是什么。

To sum up, I think the government must pay more attention to the countryside, not only for the cultural reasons but also for the economical reasons. To ensure the financial support of the countryside must let the capital flow into the place which in the most need of them.

flealdaUID: 2118390

To give the(可删去) financial support is one of the most important functions of government. Considering whether government should ensure the financial support to major cities or other parts of their country, in my opinion, support the countryside financially (这句话怪怪的,可改成fanancially supports to)where the nation's cultural traditions really origin and are conserved and where the economy is less developed will be better. I would give my reasons as follows.

In the first place, compared with major cities, a nation's cultural traditions are more likely to generate from countryside and are preserved better in the countryside(重复了,可改成there). As we know, when these traditions are generated, these(哪些?) major cities haven't been explored and developed. The objective to build up the major cities involves making them the economic center, which could bring the development of other small cities or countries, or the political center, which could concentrate the guide and lead of the government(太长了,有点怪怪的). Referring to the situation of traditions' conservation, we could find many examples to bolter that in the countries there are more traditions preserved well than those in the major cities. For instance, fewer and fewer people in the major cities will get together to celebrate spring festival, and we cannot hear the blissful sound of firecracker any longer in the major cities. Yet in the countries(contryside?), many traditions for celebrating spring festival have been brought down and preserved, such as playing firecracker, stilted dancing, etc. Accordingly, the real places where the cultural traditions were born and are living are not the major cities but the countryside.(这段举例和观点都不错,就是语言要多推敲)

In the second place, even if there are some traditions in need of preservation in the major cities, it is certain that major cities could finance by themselves and it is necessary for the government to make sure the financial support(这个观点不错). These cities are more developed than other parts, and sometimes the most international parts in their country, which will bring more opportunities for these cities to get investment from the top companies inside or outside the country.  For example, the FDI (这是什么啊?)for the major city in Shanghai each year must be more than any other cities in China. Therefore, it is no need for governments to worry about the financial support in these major cities might be in short.(例子不错,就是论证少了点)

However, in the country, the situation is totally different, which I think is the right place deserving and needing the financial support of governments. The persons who often take attention to current affairs must find that a heavy burden has been pressed on the people in the countryside. Because of poor harvest, undeveloped education system, investment failure because of lack of direction, high unemployment rate, it may be difficult for the people in the countryside to dress warmly or eat their fill(?这是什么意思?). Therefore, it is the countryside that is lack of capital not only to preserve cultural traditions but also to develop economy, education and etc.

To sum up, I think the government must pay more attention to the countryside, not only for the cultural reasons but also for the economical reasons. To ensure the financial support of the countryside must let the capital flow into the place which in the most need of them.


的确象你说的,第3段的论证部分好象是一句话说来说去,倒数第2段还比较好没这个问题,不错不错,层次也很清晰(对了,我的结构没用first , second, 不看提纲的话会不会搞不清,觉得层次不清晰啊?)

fancingUID: 208191

哎呀，错误真是太多~~哎，哎
今天被这种复杂的题目搅浑了，不知道怎样才算不偏题
结果写起来放不开
后面看很多大家写得文章觉得很清晰呢
哎，好沮丧啊
都快要考啦

fancingUID: 208191

应该也不会吧，只要有连接词说明逻辑关系就好啦

还有FDI是foreign direct investment
谢谢mm~

[ Last edited by fancing on 2005-8-24 at 20:32 ]

modeuxUID: 2107416

eat their fill and dress warmly
是吃饱穿暖的意思，很有乡土气息啊，呵呵~~~

flealdaUID: 2118390

哦......