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argument142 寄托4人组 8.31
ARGUMENT 142 The article entitled 'Eating Iron' in last month's issue of Eating for Health reported that a recent study found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease. Further, it is well established that there is a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease, and red meat is high in iron. On the basis of the study and the well-established link between red meat and heart disease, we can conclude that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease, then, is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease.
怎么这篇写的特别少,就扩了下开头结尾
In this argument, the arguer concludes that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease is a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease. However, a close scrutiny of the cited evidence, the article entitled "Eating Iron" and the well-established link between high levels of iron in diet and heart disease, reveals it lends little support to the conclusion. 开头可以啊
To begin with, the validity and reliability of the present study is open to question. After all, we are not told the specific information about compositions of the food and health conditions of people in the study. If the food involved contains certain elements other than iron that lead to an increase risk of heart disease, or people who participated in the study have defected genes that cause heart problems, then the arguer cannot convince me the correlation between high levels of iron and heart disease.其实这两方面你完全可以 分开说,food composition 一个,health condition 一个,这样就内容就多很多了
Providing that the study is reliable, the arguer falsely assumes a correlation between red meat and heart disease. Again, the arguer offers us no medical explanation as what is the ultimate cause of heart disease. Absent such evidence/有没有这个说法?请教, the correlation between red meat and heart disease is dubious since the former might have nothing to do with the latter. Perhaps it is the seasoning added to the red meat or some harmful elements coming from the cooking pots that account for the increase of heart disease. If so, the claim of the correlation of red meat and heart disease is of no merit for any alimentary conclusion.
Granted that red meat correlates with heart disease, the correlation between the high levels of iron and heart disease may not necessarily be a function of that between red meat and heart disease. However,/这里不能要这个的,因为你前面的总句和这里的分析的内容是一致的 而不是相对的 it is entirely possible that iron from other sources of food, such as green vegetables and fruit, may also lead to an increase of heart disease. Without ruling out this possibility, the assumed function could not be taken seriously. 这里分析的过少了
In conclusion, this argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, the arguer must provide detailed information about the food composition and participants in the study, and real causes leading to an increased heart disease. What is more, to determine the relationship between two sets of correlations, the arguer needs to proof that iron in other food will not result in an increase of heart disease.
这篇本来就是难题,你要是考场上能写成这样都很不错了。你 自己也改过汤剂这篇,自己又写了这篇,可以再好好研究下有没有什么可以借鉴的地方哦 |
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