【TWE第一组】avex & ggq 第五期，4号更新见一楼

avexUID: 159089

第五期01月04更新

由于为避免人数过多绩效受到影响，暂结束招募
最后，我与第27组stoneSQ & zhangheng1020合并
并同时加入jacklove，epple0725 ，karenfan0712
下面是27这一期的帖子，大家也欢迎去那互改
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... &extra=page%3D2

01月01号主题

Topic14.
Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

In my country, most universities have established rules to force students to attend almost all the classes, even though some classes might not be suitable for some students. Frankly speaking, I do not consider that it is sensible to adopt those rules. For my part, giving the moderate freedom to students on this issue attending classes would be more advantageous. The argument for my view goes as follows

As a threshold matter, admittedly attending classes might be beneficial for some students in some respects. Teachers will guide us to learn the theory and the discussion and seminar will offer a channel for students to obtain the diverse information about the issue, which will lead to a more profound understanding.

Valid as this argument and I wholeheartedly agree with that, however, it is still not reasonable enough to convince me that In any term attending classes is a sound way for most students, let alone the best one. On one hand, not all the classes are helpful to most students due to some unexpected factors. The unsuitable instruction of some teachers might make students difficult to understand their ideas.

On the other hand, learning on their own might be more efficient than attending classes in some cases. Nowadays, by virtue of the development of technologies the methods and sources students can utilize are extremely abundant. Not only is the amount of relative information students can find incredible thanks to libraries and internet, but also the searching technology and systematic arrangement make it easily to target what they really want. Moreover, though the flexible schedule designed to meet their own needs and concerns learning would become more effective.

Furthermore, another benefit that can not be neglected is that making the attendance of classes optional would enhance the ability of students to study by themselves. By this action, the independent learning will naturally become a favorable choice for students to gain knowledge, and this change will force them to figure out the suitable means to learn faster.

To sum up, albeit attending classes will be helpful to students in a sense, without considering other negative factors one can not argue that students ought to be required to do so. In contrast, attending classes optionally appears to be more advisable when its advantages I have outlined above are taken into account.

[ 本帖最后由 avex 于 2006-1-4 14:19 编辑 ]

ggqUID: 2145333

晕，我刚开了个帖，把我的帖过来吧
Nowadays, advertisements appear everywhere in our daily lives, on the radio, on TV, on the net ,or even directly sent to us .These advertisements mostly propagate new products about how they are supposed to benefit us , and in this way we get the up-to-date information about the things we need, then we can make a decision whether to buy it or not. It is by this process that we improve our lives.

Sometimes when we are in need of something, we may have no idea what to buy and where to get it, then we can turn to advertisements, they would convey all the information that might be useful.  With this information we can get exactly what we want and apply them to deal with to various problems we meet, thus improve our lives. For example, when falling in ill, we have to get some medicine, the advertisements will inform us about the relevant products that can cure us of the illness, with the help of them we can finally get over the disease.

Advertisements may still be helpful even when we have some information at hand. As is known to all, the fierce competition among the business has forced the entrepreneurs to try their best to improve the quality and cut down the price to attract customers. How can we get the overall information about it? Undoubtedly through advertisements. When we want to buy a car, we look through the advertisements to make a comparison of different cars, which one is cheaper, more comfortable and more economical, then we can make the best decision for us.

Still there is an argument that advertisements are likely to encourage us to buy things that we really do not need, it seems reasonable considering some cases. However, it is not the advertisements that persuade us to buy those unnecessary things, it is ourselves who tall us into it. Advertisements merely provide the information, the final determination is made by us. So people who complain about it should give a serious thought on this matter.

Advertisements has benefited a lot to us since they first took the form of shingle, and we are now inclined to take advantage of them. It would be unimaginable how our lives would become if there were no advertisements. We should be thankful to advertisements for they do greatly have improved our lives and will continue to be conducive to us in the future.

avexUID: 159089

第一二两楼以后作为我们两个最新一期的发放地，而第三楼作为history贴作为前期文章的存档

第一期 12月14
Topic 145
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay145 by avex12月14日主题
self-revised版如下
time:没法算了（一边上班一边写的，中途被打断n次）
字数：393

Compared with the first advertisements only shown on the doors of stores, nowadays advertising is set almost anywhere accessible. Albeit it might be inevitably harmful in a sense, I do not agree with some people’s statement that advertising drives people to purchase useless commodities. In contrast, the fascination of adverting lies in its being not only a medium of new products but also a guide of exciting and wholesome life styles.

Admittedly, under specific circumstance advertising has some negative effects on people making right decisions about shopping. Some poor advertisements might overstate benefits and effects of products, and even offer incorrect information to mislead customers. However, thanks to the certain laws, fortunately those fraudulent advertisements are comparatively scarce.

Furthermore, it is unfair to say that advertising encourage people to purchase unneeded things, although advertisements do propagate the products and hope us to buy them. Because people are not robots, we decide whether to buy a product though analyzing and comparing the available information as well as taking into account the current needs and other factors such as the price and market. As though we can not blame television and video games for the problems caused by people spending a great amount of time on watching or playing them, it is not reasonable to argue that advertising is the vital factor attributing to the unsuitable decision of shopping.

On the other hand, introducing plenty of novel products might be the most visible benefit adverting transmits to our life. Without advertising life might be more arduous owing to the lack of ideal products, nor might people be forced to take more time to bring to light the product they need due to the narrow range of products people know, and as a result of the absence of comparison among products it might be more possible to buy something at an unsound price or get unsuitable products. Therefore, given that advertising makes it more possible for people to acquire ideal products by the abundance of choices it offers, advertising definitely improves our life in an indirect way.

To sum up, even though some advertisements might call into some unavoidable problems, when the fact and assumption are examined, advantages and disadvantages of advertising weighed, biased opinions cast away, it is not difficult to draw the conclusion that advertising informs us new products and improves our lives indirectly.

Essay145 by ggq
12月14日主题
寄托第一篇，大概70多分钟，居然写了超过四百，晕
望各位gter的xdjm多拍

Nowadays, advertisements appear everywhere in our daily lives, on the radio, on TV, on the net ,or even directly sent to us .These advertisements mostly propagate new products about how they are supposed to benefit us , and in this way we get the up-to-date information about the things we need, then we can make a decision whether to buy it or not. It is by this process that we improve our lives.

Sometimes when we are in need of something, we may have no idea what to buy and where to get it, then we can turn to advertisements, they would convey all the information that might be useful.  With this information we can get exactly what we want and apply them to deal with to various problems we meet, thus improve our lives. For example, when falling in ill, we have to get some medicine, the advertisements will inform us about the relevant products that can cure us of the illness, with the help of them we can finally get over the disease.

Advertisements may still be helpful even when we have some information at hand. As is known to all, the fierce competition among the business has forced the entrepreneurs to try their best to improve the quality and cut down the price to attract customers. How can we get the overall information about it? Undoubtedly through advertisements. When we want to buy a car, we look through the advertisements to make a comparison of different cars, which one is cheaper, more comfortable and more economical, then we can make the best decision for us.

Still there is an argument that advertisements are likely to encourage us to buy things that we really do not need, it seems reasonable considering some cases. However, it is not the advertisements that persuade us to buy those unnecessary things, it is ourselves who tall us into it. Advertisements merely provide the information, the final determination is made by us. So people who complain about it should give a serious thought on this matter.

Advertisements has benefited a lot to us since they first took the form of shingle, and we are now inclined to take advantage of them. It would be unimaginable how our lives would become if there were no advertisements. We should be thankful to advertisements for they do greatly have improved our lives and will continue to be conducive to us in the future.

第二期 12月18
Topic 5
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Essay5 by avex12月18日主题
time:42
字数：394

Recently, extremely popular is the debate about the announcement of building a sizable factory near our community. Undoubtedly, there are both positive and negative effects. After the close scrutiny about this issue, for my part it is advisable to adopt this plan. The argument for my view goes as follows.

As a threshold matter, the most visible advantage of establishing a new factory is that it will generate many opportunities of employment in our community both directly and indirectly. On a simple level, this large factory needs many people to keep it running smoothly with the result that a great number of jobs are delivered to people in our community. Definitely, it will solve the present pressure in employment. At the deeper level, other establishments, such as hotels, supermarkets, and restaurants, will emerge after constructing this factory. Not only will the emergence of those businesses benefit the economy of our community, but also offer plenty of job opportunities.

Economically, the establishment of a large-scale factory will provide our community with numerous benefits and great profits. Initially, the huge contribution in tax will be the first noticed advantage. Moreover, other relative businesses will be attracted to our community. In a long term, coinciding with the dramatic development chiefly caused by the new factory the infrastructure and environment of our community will be promoted by using the increasing income of our government. Meanwhile those pleasing changes will appeal more businesses to our community. Apparently, a set of those changes will be the fundament to keep the constant developing of our community.

Admittedly, other than benefits, also originating are the inevitable negative effects. The side-effect on our environment will be the most striking one. The problem can be divided into two parts: one is the pollution of this factory; the other is that along with the factory the increase of population will be almost avoidable and might make our community more crowded. However, those two ones can be weakened to a comparably acceptable level when the sound regulation is adopted, the technique to prevent pollution equipped, and the relevant construction of infrastructure delivered.

To sum up, albeit some problems such as pollution will be the obstacle of this plan, taking into account the factors I have outlined above it is reasonable to argue that the advantages of constructing a large factory near our community outweigh its disadvantages.

Essay5 by ggq12月18日主题

Many people hope that there is a factory built near their communities, while others may prefer to live far away from factories. Both sides have good reasons to support their opinions. Both advantages and disadvantages are presented below and which side is favored depends on the specific person.

advantages are apparent. On the one hand, a factory near the community will bring many job opportunities to us, those who are out of job can find a job there and get paid. This will help them get through the hard times. On the other hand, it can provide the residents with cheap products, and this will contribute to more consumption, which may highly speed up development of local economy. What is more, a factory nearby may also incite the impulse of local people to build up their own businesses.

However, the negative effects also exist. Factories may make noises, the quite life will be interrupted by the roaring of the machines of the factories, and people can no longer live as comfortable as they had before. Furthermore, these factories may use up available sources, and deprive the people of the wealth that initially belongs to them and with this exhaust their own chance of development if the sources are preserved for them. These sources would be great help to the local people, taking one form of the various kinds of capital.

As for me, the advantages can outweigh the opposite. My hometown is still undeveloped, it needs more incentives to stimulate its development, a factory is exactly what it is eager for. A factory can play a important role in not only the manufacture but all the relevant fields, such as public service. Admittedly, some disadvantages bring up the doubt of some people, but these problems can be solved if carefully dealt with. For example, we can place the machines in a well isolated house to relieve the noise, and get some of the material for other place. With all these difficulties overcome, we can enjoy the benefits a factory would favor us.

第三期 12月23
Topic 60
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay60 by avex12月23日主题

字数：321

When facing with games, at the first glance many people might merely relate games to children, and some one might even consider games childish and useless for adults. However, at an individual level, games might be not only a kind of diversion but also an exciting and effective means for adults to keep vigorous and gain knowledge.

To begin with, one chief reason why games are equally significant for adults is that games are one of the most common and effective ways to alleviate the great stress many adults confront in modern times.
Many survey and statistics remark that the average working hours are rising. Also climbing, alas, is the stress people suffer. That is why some games, such as sports, are introduced to many adults for being a solution to relieve the great stress.

Furthermore, as if children can learn knowledge and skills from games, the same goes for adults. Hardly can I think of one better illustration of the argument than the example “Monopoly”, a game in which players use dice, cards, and fake money in an attempt to buy, rent, and sell property. Through role-play games like Monopoly, adults can undergo some practical experience and strategies in the virtual market those games simulate. Moreover, there are numerous games designed for helping adults gain some valuable skills in some vocational schools

Another benefit which can not be overlooked is that games, to some extent, might prevent people from aging. The bland life might make many people slow in mind and response, and this deed will be more serious for aged people. Some games such as electronic video games would be an ideal exercise for people to avoid this problem.

To sum up, regardless of people’s age, they will benefit from games in several aspects. Taking into account all the factors I have outlined above, it is convincing to say that games are as considerable for adults as for children.

第四期 12月29
topic 36

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people's lives.
• automobiles
• bicycles
• airplanes
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay36 by avex12月29日主题
12月29号主题

Thanks to the advent of automobile, people’s lives are now more efficient, more convenient and more fascinating than before. At the same time, associating with some unfavorable issue such as pollution our economy and culture have been altered by the significant effect of automobiles. Owing to both negative and positive effects of automobiles, people’s lives are totally different. The arguments for my view go as follows.

As a threshold matter, in one sense automobiles as a substitute for the old forms of transportation make people’s lives more efficient and comfortable. One can not deny that compared with walking or horse carriages automobiles are definitely faster. The time people spend on commuting is dwindled, which in part accounts for why modern life is more efficient than past. Also reducing is the effect of bad weather to traveling due to the cozy space automobiles offer to us. Furthermore, along with the comfortable condition during traveling, the additional equipment of automobiles such as the radio and television makes the journey full of fun.

At an even deeper level, without doubt automobiles have shaped our culture and economy which are close relative to the quality of our lives. On one hand, not only do the manufacture, sale, and servicing of automobiles themselves contribute to economy greatly, but the high-speed circulation automobiles permit also change other trades a lot. The other manufacture will be more flexible and efficient in that the materials are more accessible owing to the introduction of the fast vehicle. Meanwhile, both the reachable market to manufacturers and the range of products available to customers are broader. On the other hand, automobiles become a substantial part of the modern culture. For instance, the delicately designed cars such as some models of Porsche become the collection of many people. Formula One derives fascination from all over the world.

However, with those huge benefits, automobiles also call into several problems in people’s lives. Noise and Pollution will be at the top of those problems. The dramatic boost of automobiles is responsible for the deficiency of petroleum as well, which would be mostly concerned by many people nowadays. Moreover, other problems like automobile accidents also causes negative effects to people’s lives.

To sum up, with the great mobility of automobiles people’s lives are more efficient and comfortable, and our culture and economy are also changed remarkably, albeit automobiles lead to some side-effects on people’s lives as well. Yet for better or worse, there is no denying that automobiles have altered people’s lives hugely, which is the reason why the 1900s can be called the age of the automobile.

[ 本帖最后由 avex 于 2006-1-4 00:33 编辑 ]

avexUID: 159089

回复：ggp
我觉得写的很清楚。
我看了一边，很顺。基本条不出什么错
TV是缩写，改为tele...

ps:汗，我觉这个建议了
    有看了一下在自己的，找出两个错一拼写，一个语法
    enough - though
    inform - informs

ggqUID: 2145333

Originally posted by avex at 2005-12-15 00:50
回复：ggp
我觉得写的很清楚。
我看了一边，很顺。基本条不出什么错
TV是缩写，改为tele...

ps:汗，我觉这个建议了
    有看了一下在自己的，找出两个错一拼写，一个语法
    enough - though
    infor ...

刚看完你的，再刷新时才看到你的留言，你的句式很丰富啊，看得我都有点晕了，你用到好多我没见过的短语，偶不敢枉加评论，基本上了解了你的思路，不过现在头脑不是很清晰，明天再仔细改改

ggqUID: 2145333

Compared with the first advertisements only shown on the doors of stores, in modern times用adj吧，和前面对应 advertising is set almost anywhere accessible. Albeit it might be inevitably harmful in a sense, I can not be convinced that advertising is not advisable 换个词吧，多得是，为什么要用这个at all by the fact that advertising drives people to purchase useless commodities. 感觉怪怪的，把cannot be convinced 换成do not think，by换成in spite of如何？In contrast, the fascination of adverting lies in its being not only a medium of new products but also a guide of exciting and wholesome life styles.

As a threshold matter没见过这种说法，不过鉴于第三段的开头，换成对应的on one hand, introducing plenty of novel products might be the most visible benefit adverting transmits我也不知道用这个是否妥当 to people’s life. Without advertising life might be more arduous owing to the lack of ideal products; without advertising people might be forced to take more time to bring to light the product they need; without advertising it might be more possible to buy something at an unsound price or get unsuitable products due to the narrow range of products people know.后面两句简化吧，用nor的倒装 Therefore, given that advertising makes it more possible 有这种用法吗？for people to acquire ideal products by the abundance of choices it offers, advertising improves our life in an indirect way.

On the other hand, advertising directs us into a joyful and exciting life in many aspects. At present most advertising would be not just 为什么不用not only？simple introduction 冠词of the product but an appeal of certain life style. As for an advertisement of a laptop举例有用as for吗？take for an example更合适, its main focus might be changed from the outline of the performance and advantage of the computer to the convenient life it will offer to people in virtue of the availability of entertainment and working anywhere. Because according to the new concept of marketing and advertising the product ought to not only be suitable for the needs and concerns of people but also lead people to an improved life.怎么感觉这两个是一回事啊？
这一段太抽象了吧，反正我搞不清作者的中心具体是什么


Also different are the content of an advertisement and the way to express it, as the increase of the amount of information containing 被动in one advertisement. as改成句子吧，increase做动词用吧Hardly can I think of one better illustration of the argument than the example “Absolut”, a Vodka brand. So extraordinary is its advertising that every of its posts will be favorable for a great number of collectors. Advertising might be a kind of additive 注意这个在名词的意思－防腐剂！making our life enjoyable though their stylish ways.
知道作者想表达什么，但这个和文章要论证的关系大吗？
我觉得你可以说广告的创意激发我们的创新灵感啊，或者其他的，单说广告本身很extraordinary来说明它make our life enjoyable 似乎不太妥当吧
To sum up, even enough advertising might call into 有这个短语吗？我在金山没查到，用have不就行了，想来点玄的就用bring forth也不错啊some unavoidable problems, thanks to the factors I have outlined above its disadvantages are far beyond outweighing those advantages.倒过来用肯定语气吧。At an individual level又一个没见过的说法，I have supported 一般现在时吧the statement that advertising inform us new products and concepts to improve our life and has plenty of benefits. 这个尾巴一点罗索

大致看了，水平有限，不当之处请不要介意

ggqUID: 2145333

晕，怎么满天红了？

avexUID: 159089

先是结果问题
确实是逻辑上有问题
没写提纲再加上时断断续续写的，Body的后两段
一个是表述清楚，一个是不没有supprotive

还是就按老套路，开头就来admittedly来一段，然后再指出逻辑错误
在是用词
addtive，nor，take for example很对
其他的词组，一大部分是以前看magazine（其实就是economist偶尔newsweek）看别人的文章学的。我觉得问题不大吧

ps:呵呵，看来得重写了，多谢了这里
    第一次看的作文，让我去重翻了一下早忘了红宝

[ Last edited by avex on 2005-12-15 at 14:14 ]

avexUID: 159089

12月18号主题

topic 5
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

time: 42mins
words: 375

Recently, extremely popular is the debate about the announcement about building a sizable factory near our community. Undoubtedly, there are both positive and negative effects. After the close scrutiny about this issue, for my part it is advisable to adopt this plan. The argument for my view goes as follows.

As a threshold matter, the most visible advantage of establishing a new factory is that it will generate many opportunities of employment in our community both directly and indirectly. On a simple level, this large factory needs many people to keep it running smoothly with the result that a great number of jobs are delivered to people in our community. Definitely, it will solve the present pressure in employment. At the deeper level, other establishments, such as hotels, supermarkets, and restaurants, will emerge after constructing this factory. Not only will the emergence of those businesses benefit the economy of our community, but also offer plenty of job opportunities.

Economically, the establishment of a large-scale factory will provide our community with numerous benefits and great profits. Initially, the huge contribution in tax will be the first noticed advantage. Moreover, other relative businesses will be attracted to our community. In a long term, coinciding with the dramatic development chiefly caused by the new factory the infrastructure and environment of our community will be promoted by using the increasing income of our government. Meanwhile those pleasing changes will appeal more businesses to our community.

Admittedly, other that benefits, also originated are the inevitable negative effects. The side-effect in our environment will be the most striking one. The problem can be divided into two parts: one is the pollution of this factory; the other is that along with the factory the increase of population will be almost avoidable and might make our community more crowded. However, those two ones can be weaken to a comparably acceptable level when the sound regulation is adopted, the technique to prevent pollution equipped, the relevant construction of infrastructure delivered.

To sum up, albeit some problems such as pollution will be the obstacle of this plan, taking in account the factors I have outlined above it is reasonable to argue that the advantages of constructing a large factory near our community weigh its disadvantages.

[ Last edited by avex on 2005-12-19 at 01:00 ]

armstrongUID: 204256

Recently, extremely popular [hot issue] is the debate about the announcement about building a sizable factory near our community. Undoubtedly, there are both positive and negative effects. After the close scrutiny about this issue, for my part it is advisable to adopt this plan. The argument for my view goes as follows. [我决的你写的开门见山好]
寄托家园-T.]&g LAs a threshold matter, the most visible advantage of establishing a new factory is that it will generate many opportunities of employment in our community both directly and indirectly.【ts】 On a simple level, this large factory needs many people to keep it running smoothly with the result that a great number of jobs are delivered to people in our community. Definitely, it will solve the present pressure in employment. At the deeper level, other establishments, such as hotels, supermarkets, and restaurants, will emerge after constructing this factory. 【我觉得是不是说一句为甚没会涌现的好， 就一句】Not only will the emergence of those businesses benefit the economy of our community, but also 【托福语法说这种够这里是不是要加主语？】offer plenty of job opportunities.

Economically,【or 用 when it come to the realm of economy】 the establishment of a large-scale factory will provide our community with numerous benefits and great profits. Initially, the huge contribution in tax will be the first noticed advantage. Moreover, other relative businesses will be attracted to our community【我觉得是不是和第一断说重了？？？你不是说很多的restaurant 等等？？. In a long term, coinciding with the dramatic development chiefly caused by the new factory the infrastructure and environment of our community will be promoted by using the increasing income of our government. Meanwhile those pleasing changes will appeal more businesses to our community. }CVBNNJCCNHDFDD

Admittedly, other that benefits, also originated are the inevitable negative effects. [这句话优点别扭， 可以用WHILE 句子做个衔接， 句子] The side-effect in our environment will be the most striking one. The problem can be divided into two parts: one is the pollution of this factory; the other is that along with the factory the increase of population will be almost avoidable and might make our community more crowded[CRIMINAL RATE？？]. However, those two ones can be weaken to a comparably acceptable level when the sound regulation is adopted, the technique to prevent pollution equipped, the relevant construction of infrastructure delivered.
|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE%Gr4t9h"d3q w A)?
To sum up, albeit some problems such as pollution will be the obstacle of this plan, taking in account the factors I have outlined above it is reasonable to argue that the advantages of constructing a large factory near our community weigh its disadvantages.[结尾不错]

搂住写的很不错，  我觉得比较规范，  就是第二段再看看]
才开始twe 对某片不太熟， 请问是不是twe对逻辑看的也很中？？

stoneSQUID: 2145827

我也来评avex：
to be honest,你的文章我看下来不是很流畅，主要原因是你的遣词造句，可能是我的水平有限，有些词用得我有点费解，尤其srutiny;有的句子我又回过头来看了一遍，才看明白是什么结构。给我的感觉就是为了出彩而堆砌。（不要生气哈，可能真的是我孤陋寡了，所以我认为用得好的词我还多留意了呢）

再说说论证，感觉有些地方说重了，又有些地方没有展看说得很明白，就像楼上所说。
也有可能是我刚写完我的作文，思路还局限在我自己的呢，还没转过来。

就先这些了，有时间也去看看我的文章吧，^_^
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

ggqUID: 2145333

昨天晕了一天，待会写

ggqUID: 2145333

写的不太顺，主要问题还是用语单调，看来词汇还是不熟啊，写的时候没注意题干上的large，影响应该不会很大吧

Many people hope that there is a factory built near their communities, while others may prefer to live far away from factories. Both sides have good reasons to support their opinions. Both advantages and disadvantages are presented below and which side is favored depends on the specific person.

The advantages are apparent. On the one hand, a factory near the community will bring many job opportunities to us, those who are out of job can find a job there and get paid. This will help them get through the hard times. On the other hand, it can provide the residents with cheap products, and this will contribute to more consumption, which may highly speed up development of local economy. What is more, a factory nearby may also incite the impulse of local people to build up their own businesses.

However, the negative effects also exist. Factories may make noises, the quite life will be interrupted by the roaring of the machines of the factories, and people can no longer live as comfortable as they had before. Furthermore, these factories may use up available sources, and deprive the people of the wealth that initially belongs to them and with this exhaust their own chance of development if the sources are preserved for them. These sources would be great help to the local people, taking one form of the various kinds of capital.

As for me, the advantages can outweigh the opposite. My hometown is still undeveloped, it needs more incentives to stimulate its development, a factory is exactly what it is eager for. A factory can play a important role in not only the manufacture but all the relevant fields, such as public service. Admittedly, some disadvantages bring up the doubt of some people, but these problems can be solved if carefully dealt with. For example, we can place the machines in a well isolated house to relieve the noise, and get some of the material for other place. With all these difficulties overcome, we can enjoy the benefits a factory would favor us.

[ Last edited by ggq on 2005-12-19 at 19:24 ]

ggqUID: 2145333

Recently, extremely popular is the debate about the announcement about两个一样的感觉不太好，顺便换一个嘛 building a sizable factory near our community. Undoubtedly, there are both positive and negative effects. After the close scrutiny有重复之嫌 about this issue, for my part it is advisable to adopt this plan.用I做主语和前面的介词结构更紧凑 The argument for my view goes as follows.

As a threshold matter看来你确定这个没问题, the most visible advantage of establishing a new factory is that it will generate many opportunities of employment in our community both directly and indirectly. On a simple level, this large factory needs many people to keep it running smoothly with the result that a great number of jobs are delivered to people in our community. Definitely, it will solve the present pressure in employment. At the deeper level, other establishments, such as hotels, supermarkets, and restaurants, will emerge after constructing this factory. Not only will the emergence of those businesses benefit the economy of our community, but also offer plenty of job opportunities归纳句子前面加个链接的，therefore之类的

Economically, the establishment of a large-scale factory will provide our community with numerous benefits and great profits. Initially, the huge contribution in tax will be the first noticed advantage. Moreover, other relative businesses will be attracted to our community. In a long term, coinciding with the dramatic development chiefly caused by the new factory the infrastructure and environment of our community will be promoted by using the increasing income of our government. Meanwhile those pleasing changes will appeal more businesses to our community.

Admittedly, other thatthan？ benefits, also originated are the inevitable negative effects. The side-effect in our environment will be the most striking one. The problem can be divided into two parts: one is the pollution of this factory; the other is that along with the factory the increase of population will be almost avoidable反了吧 and might make our community more crowded. However, those two ones can be weaken to a comparably acceptable level when the sound regulation is adopted, the technique to prevent pollution equipped, the relevant construction of infrastructure delivered.

To sum up, albeit some problems such as pollution will be the obstacle of this plan, taking in account the factors I have outlined above it is reasonable to argue that the advantages of constructing a large factory near our community weigh我喜欢的词，不过是outweigh its disadvantages

看来你也有偏爱的短语啊，还是那句话，句子没问题，多琢磨琢磨逻辑和论证，这里不是说这篇文章，而是指你的twe努力的方向

[ Last edited by ggq on 2005-12-19 at 18:56 ]

stoneSQUID: 2145827

哈哈，不是像，是很像，好像不提倡英雄所见略同，^_@

Many people hope that there is a factory built near their communities, while others may prefer to live far away from factories. Both sides have good reasons to support their opinions. Both advantages and disadvantages are presented below and which side is favored depends on the specific person.好像和题目背景陈述有点偏差，不知道会不会有问题.后两句话给人的感觉很是生硬，“当当当”说完了，读者你看这办吧。

The advantages are apparent. On the one hand, a factory near the community will bring many job opportunities to us,逗号连接两个句子？ those who are out of job can find a job there and get paid. This will help them get through the hard times. On the other hand, it can provide the residents with cheap products, and this will contribute to more consumption, which may highly speed up development of local economy. What is more, a factory nearby may also incite the impulse of local people to build up their own businesses.后面两个论据显得很是突兀。句子结构相对简单了些
However, the negative effects also exist. Factories may make noises, the quite 笔误？life will be interrupted by the roaring of the machines of the factories, 喜欢这种形象的描述方法and people can no longer live as comfortable副词？ as they had before. Furthermore, these factories may use up available sources, and deprive the people of the wealth that initially belongs to them说得是否有点恐怖啊，没这么严重吧 and with this exhaust their own chance of development if the sources are preserved for them后半句是不是再斟酌下. These sources would be great help形容词？ to the local people, taking one form of the various kinds of capital数？.这段论证感觉没有说服力

As for me, the advantages can outweigh the opposite. My hometown is still undeveloped, it needs more incentives to stimulate its development, 又是逗号连接？a factory is exactly what it is eager for. 限定到具体情况，undeveloped的城市，嗯！A factory can play a【color=Blue]？ important role in not only the manufacture but all the relevant fields, such as public service. Admittedly, some disadvantages bring up （arouse?）the doubt of some people, but these problems can be solved if carefully dealt with. For example, we can place the machines in a well isolated house to relieve （reduce?）the noise, and get some of the material for other place这一句从何而来？. With all these difficulties overcome, we can enjoy the benefits a factory would favor us.这一句也有点别扭

有些不应该犯的错误，怎么这个也跟我差不多呢，下次咱们不能这样了哈，+U

[ Last edited by stoneSQ on 2005-12-19 at 20:35 ]