ISSUE61[Coursework-01]-Coffee Team Of Latte@Hunson

Cappuccino☆UID: 2155660

汗汗汗...........

这篇文章我看了之后什么也改不出来, happy_shirley居然改了那么大一篇~~
高人果然是高人......自我检讨中.........

calsunnyUID: 2163431

我更汗，自己都写了，没敢说自己根本就不明白high-profile 到底是啥意思，就将它当成级别比较高的奖看待了。这个词到底是什么意思，象奥斯卡之类的属於这种high-profile吗？

Cappuccino☆UID: 2155660

Originally posted by calsunny at 2005-12-24 16:05
我更汗，自己都写了，没敢说自己根本就不明白high-profile 到底是啥意思，就将它当成级别比较高的奖看待了。这个词到底是什么意思，象奥斯卡之类的属於这种high-profile吗？

W-M里profile:degree or level of public exposure
应该就是一种很高的荣誉奖项吧，参与的对象可能是面对全世界任何的人，但是能的奖的就那么寥寥几个而已.......诺贝尔，奥斯卡，奥林匹克等吧.......不同的领域的不同奖像，计算机的就应该数图灵奖啦~~口水-ing:D

calsunnyUID: 2163431

谢谢Cappuccino☆的解释，知道了！

racyUID: 2135171

Confessedly some high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are widely esteemed as the most honored awards given for intellectual achievement in the world, by only five prizes are awarded to individuals annually and actually these prizes are not for the masses. So and forth, According to some people's reflection presented, it would not cast positive effect on recognition of society, and it may impair one's ambition as a result to lose the motivity to success. But this allegation does not rationally reckon on a judgment weight the core meaning of the awards, because it reflects a warp discernment of some high-profile awards' intention and overlooks the social functions in which those take part. 开头部分的缺陷就是太长，构思倒是很巧妙，如果能保证考试时候也是这样那倒是不错。主题不是很明白直接的提出，有点绕弯子，不大好哦。

Some people partially 貌似不是这样说的哦 think that only a few hap of taking awards, such as the Nobel Prize’s 最好用OF引导定语scantly five favorites annually, is the only significance that the high-profile awards show to everybody and thus most people will be severely frustrated or deprived of impetus to come through.句子倒是很长，首句最好提出分论点哦 Yet the purpose of high-profile awards' conferment is not merely prizes by all appearances, it is only qualified in form of prizes to those who, in specific time or fields, have work the greatest discovery or improvement on mankind. GOOD SENTENCEFor example, the Blessed Mother Teresa, who owns The Nobel Prize in her life, is only a grocer's daughter without any admirable social background .What are the facts cause 两个谓语么？ARE 和 CAUSE？ her own the Prize? Beneath the halo, it is the fact that the Blessed Mother Teresa has persisted all her life long for helping numerous people in great sense of humanity, for the aged and young, and for the sick and poor. IT IS THE FACT用两次了哦，改一个如何？你的语言很好，多多想一些表达不成难事的 The Noble拼写错误啦，稍微注意一下哦 Prize by itself is a confirmation more of his or her great beneficial devotion to society than of merely individual’s achievements. Hence, the high-profile awards is not only in the term of money or title, but also of the symbol of light that enlighten social members with their doing to fulfill, so as to help society to constitute a true value of social virtue and propensity.其实挺好的，始终有NOBEL来引导，到做一个分析主线，也有说明，唯一的缺陷就是我开始说的，TOPIC没有立竿见影

Further more, to the high-profile awards’ followers, the Prizes are not their social starts 这样说不对，这是按汉语直译，不是英语or just endings. 意思很明白了，但是要个你的主题连上哦As the case stands 不用这样的，STANDS倒让人CONFUSED了，直接说，POINTS OUT或者别的什么的，立场由人来代表的, it is undoubtedly his or her devotional career that spontaneously keep up with. Many people may dream ofDREAM 和DREAM OF的区别，查字典啦someday being awarded of high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize, and with that dream in mind, day by day trying hard to carry out their ambition. The Nobel Prize, for instance, may be just like a seed that embeds itself into every ambitious individual's heart and then is put in growth. Because well informed and perceptive individuals who strife for the prizes are in great number in deed 挨着还是分开？, effect of such incisively by concourse would thrive our society than 这个比较结构可不对，你之前的比较关系不成立，句子语法上有问题 bringing on harm to it. Behind the Nobel Prize, the nominators may multiply the prize winner, and indeed the elites out of nomination could not be numbered. They are all pith of stratum including scientists, social conductors and professors of various industries. They would make our society even more hopeful by performing his or her role. No one would regard the unavailable of the Nobel Prize as blockage or obstacle that will bilk one's individual improvement.依然引用NOBEL的例子，我觉得可行，保持了一致性，不过也可以有所变化呀，比较的时候从反方面来说名你的观点，可以再引用一个反面的例证，这样正反对比更强烈，也突出了你的观点

Someone may say that 口语化啦，跟你之前的风格都不一样了哦，语言的整体感觉最好一直能够保持一致, just like coin has it’s double faces 哦，MY GOD，这个引用可不怎么好啊，这样的话少说吧，已经是经典烂句子了, there is no reason that the high-profile awards could be ruled out. Obviously the view above may have it’s standsOK，又是字对字的直译，错啦，查一下吧，这样说不对撒, it is possible that warp qualification, unjust assessment, or unfair stipulator, would engender unqualified awarding. If it occurs, people would lose their relief, and the awards also would be bankrupt in it’s最好避免缩写，在正式的文体里 faith, even severely the society's good atmosphere would be depressed. Fortunately, it is without question that most of high-profile awards have their inward character of going well, and the unfaith ones in fact usually fade away without any wake. Therefore, the everlasting high-profile awards such as Nobel Prize, always intend to present people with it's obverse face, not the inverse one in stead. 这样的段落既然是想批驳观点，那么还用NOBEL的例子，从一定程度上讲不合适，因为一直是引用这个例子对上面的通行的两段论证，这里要反驳一些人的观点，那么最好还是换一个吧，而且总用这么一个例子，又是题目里说过的，未免太狭窄了，论证上不饱满

On all accounts, the high-profile such as Nobel Prize can call within a call 病句，怎么能两个谓语同时出现 is only a impetus to spur up one’s ambition to discover or improve for mankind, but not to serve merely for one's particular purpose. Thus these prizes would conduce a good social atmosphere, every social member under that circumstance will boost our society to a splendid vista. Therefore, no damaging effect will be imposed upon the society no matter how much quota the prize will offer.
总体上讲还可以，不过问题是，句子太长，真正的经典句子又没有，完全靠长句是不好的，精彩的句子，比如倒装，反问，强调，很少或者根本没有。句子很多只是由汉语上对应的意思找英语单词，是不对的，因为很多不是字对字直译就可以解决的。英语讲究形式，病句的问题，例如一个句子两个谓语，一定要改掉，语法和句法要说通顺。论证上的问题是例子少，观点不是很鲜明，每段的分论点并没有突出，主题段里的主题也不是很清楚。我可能说的有点太直接了，你多包涵，继续加油吧，圣诞快乐

hunsonUID: 2147580

谢谢，很有启发，正在向这个方向努力中