issue185 丑闻有用。留链必回！

我的马甲UID: 2177806

Issue185 “Scandals – whether in political, academia, or other areas – can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.”

简要提纲：
观点：诚然，丑闻从某种意义上讲可以帮助人们注意到一些未经留意的问题，但是有时候丑闻会掩盖一些更加重要的问题，同时丑闻还成为一些人赚取人们眼球的工具以获利，如媒体。
1、        的确，丑闻从某种意义上将人们的视线引入了一些未经注意的问题。
2、        但是，丑闻吸引了众位注意的同时会掩盖一些更加重要的问题。
3、        同时，由于人们对丑闻往往投以加倍的关注，挖掘甚至制造一些名人的丑闻就成了一些媒体赚钱的工具。

限时失败，不算构思写就花了近一个小时，后来发现很多废话，删完（现551个字）改过是现在这样
必回拍！
正文：


Almost on everyday newspaper and webpage, people can be attracted by various scandals, in political, academia or other fields. It is true that these scandals, to some degrees, can focus our attention on some problems unnoticed before, yet they often distract us form other more pervasive problems. In addition, sometimes uncovering or even making up some scandals become the tool mass media to make profit.

Admittedly, scandals, to some extent, can bring some problems with little our attention to table. Take Enron Gate for an example. The collapse of Enron, once the biggest energy firm in America, is the biggest crash in the corporate history. This is not just an isolated financial scandal. Enron make a larger number of dominations to Bush and Republicans in exchange with the government’s support in energy police. Were not for this scandal, many common people would not notice in their nation there exist a fact that the law is sold to the biggest bidder. The people who involve in some scandals often want to cover some problems that disgrace or offend the moral sensibility of society in front of the public. After scandals are exposed, these problems will be also nakedly exposed to the pubic. From this point of view, scandals can focus our attention on some matters unnoticed.

However, while helping us pay our attention to some problems unnoticed before in certain situation, scandals often serve to distract us from other more important ones. These more significant issues are rather worthy of our attention. Recently, in my university some one uncovered an educational scandal about the annual college admission. Some officers unfairly rejected some students while admit other ones who are unqualified. After this scandal is exposed to the public, a mount of notice of the media both in campus and in society is paid to how to settle this matter. However, there exist actually far more pervasive issues in my university should be paid more notice, such as the quality of professors in teaching and university’s new contribution to the development of science resulting in new increase of national economic. Although the problems reflected by scandals are also important, compared with other more vital ones, people should not pay too much attention on these scandals.

In addition, scandals can be used by some people, especially the mass media, to make money in that scandals inherently attract more notice by the public. For similarly common events in the newspapers everyday, people may pay more attention on some scandals, especially about some stars in the field of entertainment and sports. Just harnessing this character of scandals, a myriad of reporters follow some famous figures’ track to report, exaggerate or even make up their private life. What is more, some stars make up some scandals about themselves to fix the public’s attention. In that matter, while discussing with others about some new scandals about certain figure, people may have been cheated by the mass media or be harnessed by some stars in entertainment or sports.

To sum up, the usefulness of scandals in society should not be neglected because they focus our attention on some issues unnoticed before in certain situation. Nevertheless, the flaws of scandals, like distracting us from the more significant problems and being used by the mass media, should not be ignored neither.

[ 本帖最后由 我的马甲 于 2006-1-25 12:50 编辑 ]

果小冻UID: 208370

占位先。我已经三天没写issue了。恐惧症确症，恩我们保持互拍。有空交流。我2月17号考

我的马甲UID: 2177806

原帖由 果小冻 于 2006-1-25 16:16 发表
占位先。我已经三天没写issue了。恐惧症确症，恩我们保持互拍。有空交流。我2月17号考

比你晚一周，与君（君不好，还是伊吧），与伊共勉

果小冻UID: 208370

Issue185 “Scandals – whether in political, academia, or other areas – can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.”

简要提纲：
观点：诚然，丑闻从某种意义上讲可以帮助人们注意到一些未经留意的问题，但是有时候丑闻会掩盖一些更加重要的问题，同时丑闻还成为一些人赚取人们眼球的工具以获利，如媒体。
1、        的确，丑闻从某种意义上将人们的视线引入了一些未经注意的问题。
2、        但是，丑闻吸引了众位注意的同时会掩盖一些更加重要的问题。
3、        同时，由于人们对丑闻往往投以加倍的关注，挖掘甚至制造一些名人的丑闻就成了一些媒体赚钱的工具。[条理清楚，赞]

限时失败，不算构思写就花了近一个小时，后来发现很多废话，删完（现551个字）改过是现在这样
必回拍！
正文：


Almost on everyday newspaper and webpage, people can be attracted by various scandals, in political, academia or other fields. It is true that these scandals, to some degrees, can focus our attention on some problems unnoticed before, yet they often distract us form[from] other more pervasive problems. In addition, sometimes uncovering or even making up some scandals become the tool mass media to make profit.[这个句子有点不懂，读不通]

Admittedly, scandals, to some extent, can bring some problems with little our attention to [用 onto会不会好点呢？]table.[是否应该在给出例子之前分析一下丑闻的特点呢？来突出你的观点] Take Enron Gate for an example. The collapse of Enron, once the biggest energy firm in America, is the biggest crash in the corporate history. This is not just an isolated financial scandal. Enron make a larger number of dominations to Bush and Republicans in exchange with the government’s support in energy police. Were not for this scandal, many common people would not notice in their nation there exist a fact that the law is sold to the biggest bidder. The people who involve in some scandals often want to cover some problems that disgrace or offend the moral sensibility of society in front of the public. After scandals are exposed, these problems will be also nakedly exposed to the pubic. From this point of view, scandals can focus our attention on some matters unnoticed.[例子之后的分析和总结都很不错]

However, while helping us pay our attention to some problems unnoticed before in certain situation, scandals often serve to distract us from other more important ones. [承上启下很好的主题句]These more significant issues are rather worthy of our attention. [总觉得在给出例子之前要有点自己的分析，要说清楚为什么会转移人们的注意力]Recently, in my university some one uncovered an educational scandal about the annual college admission. Some officers unfairly rejected some students while admit other ones who are unqualified. After this scandal is exposed to the public, a mount of notice of the media both in campus and in society is paid to how to settle this matter. However, there exist actually far more pervasive issues in my university should be paid more notice, such as the quality of professors in teaching and university’s new contribution to the development of science resulting in new increase of national economic.[觉得这个例子有点不太恰当啊，发生了那个事情，可是应该还没严重到你说的那些地步吧，造成的那些影响。。。]Although the problems reflected by scandals are also important, compared with other more vital ones, people should not pay too much attention on these scandals.

In addition, scandals can be used by some people, especially the mass media, to make money in that scandals inherently attract more notice by the public. For similarly common events in the newspapers everyday, people may pay more attention on some scandals, especially about some stars in the field of entertainment and sports. Just harnessing this character of scandals, a myriad of reporters follow some famous figures’ track to report, exaggerate or even make up their private life. What is more, some stars make up some scandals about themselves to fix the public’s attention. In that matter, while discussing with others about some new scandals about certain figure, people may have been cheated by the mass media or be harnessed by some stars in entertainment or sports.[这个最后好象没有和开头的中心紧密联系起来，最好回应一下]

To sum up, the usefulness of scandals in society should not be neglected because they focus our attention on some issues unnoticed before in certain situation. Nevertheless, the flaws of scandals, like distracting us from the more significant problems and being used by the mass media, should not be ignored neither.

果小冻UID: 208370

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... B%B9%FB%D0%A1%B6%B3

taotaoQUID: 2105710

我的被LZ批得遍体鳞伤
但感激的程度与错误的程度成正比例增长
惭愧与感谢的眼泪鼻涕一起流!!!
改你的去了,马上发回来

taotaoQUID: 2105710

Almost on everyday newspaper and webpage, people can be attracted by various scandals, in political, academia or other fields. It is true that these scandals, to some degrees, can focus our attention on some problems unnoticed before, yet they often distract us form(from) other more pervasive problems. In addition, sometimes uncovering or even making up some scandals become the tool mass media to make profit.
大负小正的立场
Admittedly, scandals, to some extent, can bring some problems with little our attention to table. Take Enron Gate for an example. The collapse of Enron, once the biggest energy firm in America, is the biggest crash in the corporate history. This is not just an isolated financial scandal. Enron make a larger number of dominations to Bush and Republicans in exchange with the government’s support in energy police. Were not for this scandal, many common people would not notice in（去掉） their nation there exist a fact that the law is sold to the biggest bidder. The people who involve in some scandals often want to cover some problems that disgrace or offend the moral sensibility of society in front of the public. After scandals are exposed, these problems will be also nakedly exposed to the pubic. From this point of view, scandals can focus our attention on some matters unnoticed.
丑闻的意义不只于让人们注意到，还能使被掩盖的问题解决，再延深一点比较充实，不知你是因为让步段简写，才点到为止的。但让步一般放在倒数第二段合符逻辑一些吧。你受范文影响的吧
However, while helping us pay our attention to some problems unnoticed before in certain situation, scandals often serve to distract us from other more important ones. These more significant issues are rather worthy of our attention. Recently, in my university some one uncovered an educational scandal about the annual college admission. Some officers unfairly rejected some students while admit other ones who are unqualified. After this scandal is exposed to the public, a mount of notice of the media both in campus and in society is paid to how to settle this matter. However, there exist actually far more pervasive issues in my university should be paid more notice, such as the quality of professors in teaching and university’s new contribution to the development of science resulting in new increase of national economic. Although the problems reflected by scandals are also important, compared with other more vital ones, people should not pay too much attention on these scandals.这个例子似曾相识，好像见过例文上是写学校的一个主任贪污，仿造也无妨，例子也不错，论述的时候再讲讲过分关注丑闻，忽视其它会有什么危害（即原因），不然为什么不要关注丑闻？
In addition, scandals can be used by some people, especially the mass media, to make money in that scandals inherently attract more notice by the public. For similarly common events in the newspapers everyday, people may pay more attention on some scandals, especially about some stars in the field of entertainment and sports. Just harnessing this character of scandals, a myriad of reporters follow some famous figures’ track to report,（狗仔队挖隐私，和丑闻还是有曲别吧，改成：为了找丑闻不计手段，以致打扰了名人的私生活，是不道德的） exaggerate or even make up their private life. What is more, some stars make up some scandals about themselves to fix the public’s attention. In that matter, while discussing with others about some new scandals about certain figure, people may have been cheated by the mass media or be harnessed by some stars in entertainment or sports.

To sum up, the usefulness of scandals in society should not be neglected because they focus our attention on some issues unnoticed before in certain situation. Nevertheless, the flaws of scandals, like distracting us from the more significant problems and being used by the mass media, should not be ignored neither.
语言很顺，认真学习ING~~~
就提了一点逻辑和结构的看法，整体不错，可以在一些细节上再处理好一点，现在练习思考地周到些，限时的时候构思就会快了，但像我那样慌不择言还真是个大麻烦！！
共勉！！！

我的马甲UID: 2177806

原帖由 taotaoQ 于 2006-1-25 20:50 发表
Almost on everyday newspaper and webpage, people can be attracted by various scandals, in political, academia or other fields. It is true that these scandals, to some degrees, can focus our attenti ...

的确看了280，看看老外举的虾米例子，一看还真是水门和克林顿同学那点事。例子没敢用。至于B2的那个例子嘛，确受范文影响，想想不写那些范文用过的东西挺难说的，上网一查丑闻，发现了个某年的北航的招生丑闻，就给编了一下，看来回头再搜集些合适的例子了。
你那篇确实是慌不择言了，限时几次就能好了吧，共勉！